Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1: Guess what? The Netherlands have made it to the Eurovision finals! Huzzah, huzzah, huzzah! Unbelievable! Two times in a row! Miracles do happen! 8DDDDDD
Tonight the finals will be on, but I won't be home to see it, since I have that bachelorette party I need to go to. It's a pity, really. I wanted to see the finals, but now I'll miss the whole rainbow-parade! Aww.
Oh well, I don't expect my country to win anyway – I think Austria is going to win. Or Sweden. Or Switzerland. Or France! I like France's song.
Anyway, I'll do my best to keep an eye on it.

A/n2: Well, like I said in that a/n above this one, I'm going to that bachelorette party today! Hopefully the other women (I don't know most of them) are nice and not stuck-up, married bitches that will instantly question my sexuality/sanity if I explain to them I've been a so-called happy single for quite some time.
People tend to do that, because people.

A/n3: What do you think is better for growing children: telling them stories or reading them stories?
I personally think it doesn't matter, as long as you at least do one of the two imagination-prickling activities. Reading to kids apparently boosts their language-learning process, and telling them stories has similar effects. Also, both activities are great for one's creativity and development of empathy.
When I ever get the great honor of giving birth to children, I plan to tell them stories just as much as I plan to read them stories!
…not sure if that's going to work out, and I sure hope my future boyfriend/husband will be awesome enough to help me with this (or I'll kick his ass), but I'm going to attempt to be a great mother! Like most women intend to be! Yeah! Hooray for knocking on open doors!

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 49:

…and if you think of your childhood, you once again live among them, among the solitary children,
and the grownups are nothing, and their dignity has no value.
Rainer Maria Rilke
(Austrian poet and novelist)

The first thing I saw when I woke up the next morning, was Lovino's peculiar sleeping position.

He was lying on his back, his arms awkwardly bended and sprawled over the mattress, his legs tangled up in the sheets and his shirt riding up, so people could greedily ogle his glorious half-naked body. His eyes were closed, but his mouth wasn't, at least not completely, and I could clearly see some dried-up drool in the corners of his mouth.

God, how shameless. How vulnerable. How… how…

How unbearably CUTE!~ You're so cute cute cute, Lovi!~

Seriously, I had to keep myself from grabbing him and cuddling him senseless. It just was so difficult for me to behave myself when Lovi lowered his walls like this. Even though he barely had any walls for me anymore, it still hit me hard whenever he allowed me to be this close to his defenseless body.

Having that said, if I could hop off my own pink clouds, I'd probably think he looked and acted really bizarre right now, in other people's eyes.

You see, Lovino always had these weird sleeping... habits and tics.

For example, he snored. Not very loudly, not very annoyingly – but he snored, and if he wasn't snoring, he wasn't asleep. It really was as simple as that. His snoring kind of sounded like a grumbling balloon that was slowly losing air, just a little bit at a time, and it was so very adorable and endearing, and it had such a healing effect on my state of mind, that it always calmed me down and comforted me.

I don't think I was ever going to tell him this – not because I was ashamed to admit it, but because I didn't think it was that important to know. It was just something small, something silly that I liked to secretly cherish.

Um, what else… ah, right!

Lovino also liked to mumble in his sleep. Just really weird, random things. He once called out 'HAMSTER WHEEL' in the middle of the night and couldn't stop giggling for at least half an hour. He also mentions names of the people he gets along with, like Feliciano, Femke and even our kids' names. My name isn't muttered that much, for some strange reason – but maybe he unconsciously is aware of the fact that I'm still awake and stupidly hoping he'll stammer my name as well. I mean, I could totally see him do that. He also always answers all the things I ask him with a firm 'no' if he's still asleep. It's probably his defense mechanism.

Lovi's also a hugger – he likes to hug when he's asleep, but the minute he gets too hot or just simply fed up with it, he will resort to petty kinds of violence to get away from my embrace. Like, pushing my arms away with his head or shoving my legs off his with his knees or funny things like that. On the other hand, when he's cooled off enough, he'll instantly clasp his hands around my arms, shoulders, back or against my chest again and won't let go of me if he doesn't feel like it.

Luckily, I've adapted myself to Lovino's weird sleeping style. Plus, I'm a heavy sleeper – I won't wake up, not even when he accidentally kicks me off the bed.

Ah, but I digressed…

Anyway, so I was awake and I was watching Lovino being gorgeous and stuff, and then I suddenly remembered what his face looked like last night, just before I had fallen asleep on him.

PISSED.

Oh.

He had looked royally pissed indeed.

He hadn't tried to scold me for it – since I had easily fallen asleep – but I knew I now had to make up to him for denying him some love he was apparently aching for last night.

As I was wondering what to do, Lovino mumbled something like 'grated cheese' and far from elegantly rolled on to his side, showing me that his pants had started to slide down as well – probably because of all of his crazy movements. I could see a glimpse of his butt, and it was both innocent as it was taunting me.

You know what, I thought to myself as I tore my goofy gaze off my lover's tasteful lower half, I'm just going to hug and kiss him and we'll see what'll happen.

But nothing big could happen. No. Oh, no. Matteo, Alejo and Luisa were sleeping in the connected room next to ours, and our rooms didn't even have doors – so I really should hold in my desire to do… well… um… stuff.

But come on, the last time I checked, I was a full-grown, adult man – so of course I could keep myself in check. I'd just ignore the massive boner I was currently wielding and try to keep it away from Lovino's backside. Easy enough.

And so, I shuffled closer to Lovi's inviting back and happily wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close and burying my face in his hair.

'Mhmnbhmmblnmm,' Lovino blubbered, stirring a bit and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

Ah – he was waking up, wasn't he?

Well good.

I looked at the shirt he was wearing – a very worn-out piece of white fabric – and before I could decently think about it, I started to softy tear it apart.

…

Yeah, I also wondered how that had got anything to do with "keeping myself in check" except for the complete opposite, but it happened and I didn't even try to stop myself. Besides, it was an ugly shirt.

Lovino wasn't snoring anymore by now. But he didn't tell me to stop, either.

He was perfectly fine with it.

…

T-that was kind of sexy, in a silent, peaceful kind of way.

Lovino uttered a barely audible sigh as I started placing down teasing kisses against his warm shoulders, between the tenderly-torn pieces of his shirt. I didn't do anything hard or harsh – they were just soft pecks to his skin, a sweet exploration of his body, even though I knew the entire map of his body by heart these days.

Every time I wanted to move my lips to another piece of Lovi's back, I'd tear up the shirt a little bit more. For at least a few minutes, you could only hear Lovino's quiet, but quickened breathing, my lips kissing his beautiful skin and the soft sounds of fabric being ripped apart carefully.

It was like a game – a harmless, yet dangerous game full of strange paradoxes that could end at any given moment if we weren't careful enough. It was very exciting, let me tell you that much, but my god, I'd better watch myself before we did things that we really shouldn't do in this situation.

Lovi realized that, too, since he swallowed heavily before speaking to me.

'You… you do realize we shouldn't be doing this, right…'

I smiled against his shoulder, before I pressed another kiss to it – a wet one, with a lot of tongue.

'Oh god,' Lovino panted with muffled breath. 'You damn asshole… ah…'

'Don't speak, Lovi…' I whispered as my hands moved up his body, '…be very, very quiet, okay? You'll lose if you speak…'

Lovino chuckled gently, as a soft sign to me that he liked the way my mind worked, and I caught him biting his lower lip as my fingertips reached his nipples.

It wasn't like I hadn't done this ever before, but god, my overjoyed heart was pounding so hard, and Lovino was responding so deliciously honest to my caressing hands, I felt like we were doing something extremely forbidden and wrong.

…which we were, in a way. But oh well… I still hadn't heard any sounds coming out of the kids' bedroom, so…

Hiding my erection from Lovino seemed to be ridiculous now, so I fully pressed my crotch against his half-clothed butt and shivered when Lovino gasped in surprise. His hands hadn't been doing much during all of this, but now that he was aware of how incredible horny I was, he got hot and bothered as well – and his hands started to travel down, trembling but determined.

Although I admit I thought it was pretty hot when Lovino jerked himself off, I – selfishly – thought I he shouldn't touch himself there, if I wasn't able to see his face anyway. So I swiftly grabbed his hands, just when they had reached their destination, and put them on his chest, where my own hands had been. Then I instantly plunged my hands into his pants and grabbed his cock, as soon as I could feel it, and enclosed my fingers around it.

Lovino breathed in sharply, but he didn't make a sound, not even when my mouth had found his way to his neck and had started lovingly suckling and kissing it. He probably got what I was trying to tell him, because he didn't stop me and began to rub his nipples slowly.

We both were kind of slow with many things – but not with sex. We caught up quickly with every subject that had got at least somewhat to do with making love, so we hardly ever misunderstood each other in bed.

…

T-this was getting out of hand, though…

I was fondling Lovino's dick as Lovino fondled the nubs of flesh on his chest, and I moved my lower body against his feverishly now, in jolting, absurd motions, just to get more friction, and both of our voices were starting to form actual words, grunts, pants and moans.

Also, the bed creaked like mad.

It worried me, and I knew it worried Lovino just as much, but no way we were going to stop now, no, not now, not when we both were this damn close to—

Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter

ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION

/0o0\

Lovino and I immediately let go, distanced ourselves, covered ourselves – all in a matter of hundredths of seconds – and we were just in time to pretend to have just woken up as well as Matteo jumped on our bed and shouted a loud good-morning.

'GOOOOOOOOOOOD MOURNING!'

Or at least something that sounded like it.

'Yes yes,' Lovino groaned, faking a yawn as he sat up, 'good morning, Matteo.'

'Eheheheheheeee,' the boy grinned, staring at the wall since he had forgotten to put his glasses on, 'you look white, Papa Lovi.'

'He's right, you know,' I nonchalantly told Lovino, who was blushing so damn hard it was a miracle the bed didn't catch on fire, 'you look pale, sweetie. Aww. Maybe you need a warm-up hug.'

'Shut the fuck up or I'll kick that smug face to hell and back,' Lovino hissed, rubbing his hot cheeks, and quickly glanced under the sheets. 'God – would you look at that. Maybe I should smack it flaccid.'

'Smack what?' Matteo asked and attempted to crawl over to him.

'Well!' I hastily said when Lovi sent me an urgent, panicked look, and plucked Matteo off the sheets. 'How about you and I go to… to… to take a good look outside the window, Teo? The hotel has a really cool garden, you know?'

Normally, this proposal would have been greeted with an enthusiastic 'YEA!', but this time, Matteo wasn't very interested in anything concerning gardens, plants or other green stuff. He just stared at me very seriously – while Lovino casually fled to the bathroom – and grabbed my face with both of his tiny hands.

'Papa.'

'Yes?' I asked, confusedly.

'Y'see,' he started, breathing with short puffs, like he always did when he was excited over something, 'y'see, papa, it's mah bed.'

'Your…bed.'

'Yea.' Matteo, who wore a nightgown that was wayyyyyy too big for him, wiped his snotty nose. 'It's icky and wet. It's eeeeewwwwww, Papa Toni.'

Something started to click and I instantly came closer to the boy, to check if I could confirm what I suspected.

…

Well YEP.

'Aww, Teo!' I groaned and watched him cringe. 'You wet the bed again, didn't you?'

'No!' Matteo frowned – although he did get a red face, looked like he inherited Lovi's ability to blush his face off as well – and clumsily tried to fold his arms. It didn't work out, however, and the poor kid ended up slapping himself with the long sleeves of his gown.

'Twas… twas… Mia!' Matteo dramatically said.

'The cactus.' I nodded. 'The cactus wet the bed.'

'Yea!' Matteo huffed. 'Mia wet mah bed!'

'But Mia's right there.' I pointed to the cacti plant that was standing on a side table, far away from the kid's bedroom

'Dwammit,' Matteo muttered and glared at his beloved Mia like she had betrayed him by being on the exact same spot where he had put her last night.

In spite of the fact that Teo had at least attempted to curse, I grinned. Then I put the kid on one of my arms and stepped out of bed – the cute little conversation with my funny son had effectively shushed my erection anyway – and stretched myself out.

'Hmmmnnnngg… mnngn…!'

'Hmnghfhafdhdfahdgshdb,' Matteo tried to mimic me, even stretching his arms as well.

'Well,' I said, 'let's go find your glasses and clean your bed.'

'I didn't do it. Allie did it,' Matteo said. 'Rweally!'

I rolled my eyes. 'Matteo…'

'Okey okey, Lulu did it.' Matteo corrected himself. 'Rweally!'

I smirked. 'You remind me of your uncle, you little liar.'

'No – twas Papa Lovi!'

'I don't think so.'

'Oh, oh, I knoaw!' Matteo grabbed my face again and his eyes got almost as big as his head. 'Twas… Papa Toni!'

I blinked. 'Me?'

'Ewwwwwwww,' Matteo giggled as he let go of me, 'yuu peed mah bed, papa. Ewwwwww!'

'I wonder how things turned out this way, though.'

Matteo didn't listen. 'Ohhhh, I'm gonna tell Papa Lovi you peed mah bed, Papa Toni.'

'That would certainly make his day,' I chuckled, imagining Lovino's blank, speechless "what the actual fuck"-face. 'But you know what? We could also keep it a secret.'

'A sewcwet?'

'You know,' I muttered in a low voice, 'Papa Lovi's a superman with extraordinaire powers. He can talk to buildings. And paintings. And they told him. He knows.'

'He knaows…' Matteo repeated in a low voice as well.

'He knows the truth, Teo!'

'No!' Matteo gasped. 'What'll ah do?'

'We'll go make your bed!' I said. 'Right now!'

'Bwight meow!' Matteo parroted again.

And with that, we very intensely entered the bedroom of the kids.

/0o0\

Luisa didn't want to help us, but Alejo – who had been jumping up and down on his bed like a flipped psychopath this entire time – was more than willing to help, since he 'couldn't jump on Teo's bed if there was piss on it'.

'Because, um, well, it's icky, and I'll need to get a bath if I do it anyway, and I don't like baths,' Alejo happily rattled as the three of us pulled the dirty sheets off Matteo's bed. 'But I think Papa Lovi gets angry when I say "no I don't wanna go to baths!" and he's scary when he's mad, Papa Toni.'

Matteo giggled and nodded as he flung his pillow out of the pillow case. 'Yea! Papa Lovi's rweally kool, but ohhhhhhh, so scary if he's grumpy! Like… like a cat-yeti!'

'Or Luisa,' Alejo pointed out. 'Luisa does that squeezy-eyes thingie, too.'

'Shut the fuck up, dweeb,' Luisa grumbled from her bed, as she flipped through her book.

'Luisa!' I glared at the book cover, which effectively hid Luisa's small frame behind it. 'Now what did your father and I tell you? Don't use bad words! That's not cute at all!'

Luisa mumbled something I didn't catch, but seemed to get the message.

I groaned and turned back to Matteo and Alejo, who were both observing the pee stain on the mattress.

'You're scarier than Papa Lovi,' Alejo finally said, without looking up from the stain.

'Yea.' Matteo nodded. 'Yer stormy.'

It was like an icy claw enclosed my heart and I clutched the sheets of the bed.

'Y-you're… you aren't afraid of me, are you?'

'Naaaah.' Alejo grinned widely at me.

'Yer stormy, but good stormy, y'know?' Matteo added, smiling just as much.

I didn't know what to think of those smiles, since I had found out that my twins were just as good as I was at hiding their emotions and feelings behind a large smile, just to make the ones we cared about the most think that we were alright.

So I just smiled as well, told them that was very nice of them and continued to remake the bed. I had gotten pretty silent, I guess, since Matteo and Alejo kept on chatting to each other about what they were hoping to get for breakfast and what kind of cartoon would be on TV.

In the end, I finally told the boys they could go watch some TV in the other room, if they wanted to – I had almost finished making the bed anyway – and I actually felt a bit uncomfortable, being with two of my kids that had just admitted they thought I was scary. Stormy, even – that sounded haunting.

Alejo and Matteo instantly left the bed for what it was and ran out of the bedroom, shouting and cheering, pushing each other and tripping over their puny little feet.

'Is that some kinds of act, too,' I faintly muttered to myself, and mused about whether I really was cut out to be a dad.

You see, Lovino, who had denied our kids for a fairly long time, seemed to be so much better at all this dad-stuff. He told them stories, he knew how to handle them, he got angry at them without making them outright fear him and he allowed them to be themselves.

Was I just as good as he was, or could I, the more experienced parent, actually learn a thing or two thousand from Lovino?

'Hey.'

I was brutally awakened from my depressing thoughts when something hard and heavy hit the back of my head – and I stumbled on Matteo's refreshed bed. I instantly scrambled up again and looked in the direction of were that heavy thing had come from, only to see Luisa's bright green, huffy eyes shooting daggers at me.

'You're nice.'

'Huh?' I sheepishly said.

'D-DUMMY!' Luisa shrieked, her face frowning furiously as she reached out her hands. 'Now g-gimme my book back, dammit!'

'Oh.' I picked the thick book – god, no wonder it hurt – off the floor and rubbed the back of my head. 'O-okay…'

As I came closer to Luisa, I noticed she looked suspiciously pale. Lovi had once told me Luisa didn't get much sleep, and Dr. Tosca had told us before that our youngest kid most-likely had the same sleep disorders Lovino had.

Had she stayed up all night reading again?

'Luisa,' I started as Luisa snatched the book out of my hands as soon as I stood next to her bed, 'have you slept at all tonight?'

Luisa blushed a little, probably thinking something like 'fuck, busted', but she didn't look at me. No, she looked at her book. She looked at her book without looking at her book. Now that was an interesting sight.

I watched her silent non-reading for a few seconds, before grabbing her sheets.

'Hey, scoot over, will you?'

Luisa's head shot up and it firstly seemed she was going to loudly vocal her protest – but I saw she simply didn't have the energy to snap at me, so she obediently made room for me.

'Well…' I mumbled as I took my seat and neatly folded the covers over the both of us, '…what were you reading, hm?'

'…this,' Luisa softly said, smacking her hand down on a page with a hard-working girl and a deep well drawn on it. "Mother Hulda", the curly title on top of the page said, and it was a fairytale – a fairytale that Lovino would love to lovingly rip apart and put together again in his own words.

'You know,' I smiled, carefully shuffling towards Luisa, 'this is a really great tale. I've read it before. You should tell Papa Lovi about it.'

'No.' Luisa grunted softly and hesitated a bit, before she wrapped her arms around my arm and pressed her face against it. 'You're here.'

I didn't know what to say.

'YOU do it,' Luisa commanded. 'Now.'

I chuckled, touched. 'You really sure? Papa Lovi's better than I am, though.'

'He never reads me stories. He only tells,' Luisa haughtily said. 'So YOU read.'

Bossy little tyrant, I tenderly thought to myself as I smiled at her.

'Alright.' I made myself more comfortable – movements that Luisa, to my surprise, copied – and studied the page.

'Um, let's see… what do you think the story's about, princess?'

'A girl,' Luisa muttered, her eyes getting clouded and sleepy.

'That's right, a girl,' I half-talked, half-whispered. 'Now, let's see what her story is, shall we?'

'Okay...'

'Let's see… Flora – oh, her name was Flora, what a nice name, huh? – was a very happy girl that lived with her father, stepmother and stepsister in a great, big house. But something changed when her dear father died of an unknown illness…'

Luisa was already sound asleep before the well even made its important first appearance in the story.

/0o0\

At a certain point, Lovino opened the door of the bedroom, fully dressed and being hold-on to by Alejo and Matteo, who were dressed as well. The boys grinned as they watched their sister snoring away, but Lovino just cocked his head.

'Antonio, we're going to the breakfast buffet.'

'Okay,' I said.

'What about you two?' Lovi smiled and leaned against the doorpost. 'You have some nerve, getting cozy with somebody else.'

I smiled, glancing down at Luisa's sleeping figure. 'I have, haven't I?'

'Be quiet, peasant – I was talking to Luisa, not you,' Lovino teased, grinning snobbishly.

'Of course you were, what was I thinking,' I grinned back.

Lovino looked at Luisa for a bit, then he looked at me. 'Just come down when she's recovered from her nightly owl-activities, okay?'

'You think you can handle them by yourself?' I asked him, nodding at Alejo (currently scratching wallpaper from the wall) and Matteo (whining for food).

Lovino smirked. 'They have a pretty awesome playground here, so yeah, I can handle them – Alejo, let go of that damn wallpaper and shhhhhh, Matteo! – as long as they've got something to do, I can handle them.'

'Alright.' I smiled at him. 'I'll see you three in a few hours, then.'

'It's a date.' Lovino took in a deep breath and grabbed the twin's hands. 'Okay brats – let's go stuff our faces!'

And before Alejo and Matteo could wake Luisa up with their ecstatic cheers, Lovino hurriedly dragged them off.

/0o0\

I had no idea who long I'd be sitting in bed with Luisa, so when I had read the tale of Mother Hulda – well I had to do something, right – I decided to take an early siesta and went to sleep as well.

When I finally woke up, thanks to a very energetic Luisa jumping up and down on my poor tummy, I was shocked to find out it already was 01:30 PM.

01:30 PM.

MY GOD.

So after freaking out for a good half minute, I grabbed Luisa, threw some clothes on her and proceeded to get dressed myself as well, after which I didn't know how insanely fast we sprinted out of the hotel room.

When we arrived in the breakfast… room… eating… well, to the place where you get food and the like in a hotel, I was bewildered to find out that they not only had cleaned up the breakfast buffet already – no, they were also busy throwing away the remains of the lunch buffet!

'GAH! We… we need to hurry if we don't want to starve to death!' I gasped to Luisa, who wheezed as much as I did after running that much that quickly, and we attacked the sole part of the buffet that hadn't been touched by the hotel cleaners yet – the eggs and bacon and bread section – after which we unstably waggled around, looking for a table to sit at that hadn't been cleaned yet.

'Hey, morons. Over here.'

I'd recognize that voice even in a crowd with a million people – so I stammered my lover's name and looked to the right. I noticed Lovino right away, boorishly sitting at a very nasty, grubby table in front of a dusty window, as he beckoned me and Luisa to come over.

'Lo… Lo… Lo…' I stuttered, walking to his table and kind of harshly putting down my and Luisa's plate before practically draping myself over Lovino, '…vinoooooo…'

He sighed and patted my back. 'Yeah yeah, I'm Lololovinoooooo.'

'I'm so glad to see you're still here…'

'Well, what else did you expect me to do?' Lovino huffed, gently pushed me away a bit and helped Luisa on a chair next to him. 'To go tour around Madrid with two hyperactive demon children all by myself? Hell no. I love myself too much for that. Here you go, baby. Oh, that seems to be very… um… tasty.'

'Hmmmm,' Luisa mused as she stared at the greasy meal in front of her – but started eating it anyway.

'Ahahahahaha,' I laughed breathlessly and slumped down on a seat as well. 'Where are the boys?'

'Tormenting the other kids on the playground.' Lovino pointed to the big slide outside of the window – and I could indeed see three unknown kids running around in circled, crying their eyes out as Alejo chased them with a pointy stick. Meanwhile, Matteo was having an intense conversation with a tree.

'Ah…' I muttered. 'Well… nice to see they're… um, enjoying themselves.'

'At least they are enjoying themselves, yes.' Lovino sounded agitated.

'I'm sorry,' I said, giving him an apologetic smile. 'I… I had no idea we'd sleep for such a long time…'

Lovi glared at me. 'Shit – I knew you'd fall asleep as well, I just knew it!'

'Sorry – really, I'm so sorry.'

'Ugh… no, it's okay. It's not that bad. I guess.' Lovino groaned and slowly scratched his head. He looked annoyed, yes, but he also looked calm, collected and well-rested. Amazing, especially when you realize he had to babysit the kids by himself for at least four hours.

'Can I make it up to you?' I asked, hopefully.

'For what?' Lovino shrugged. 'You did what every good parent would do, didn't you? I wouldn't know why you'd have to apologize for that. It's just… well, I had hoped to go visit some places today.'

'We can still do that!' I passionately said, jumping up.

'Sit. And eat your grub – don't spray it around,' Lovino indifferently replied, leaning on his hand.

'Oh… right.' I sat down again. 'But really, sweetie – we could still see all the places you want to show the kids!'

'Naaaah…' He shook his head dismissively. 'I don't really feel like hauling the twerps to all those beautiful places anymore. First of all, they don't give a flying fuck about art, architecture or history anyway, second of all, neither do you, and third… somebody's waiting for us to come home.'

I paused from eating my fried egg to give him a confused look. 'Somebody's waiting for us? Who is it?'

'Germany.' Lovino frowned worriedly. 'It's got something to do with Feliciano.'