Friends!

Thanks so much for being so patient with me in terms of updating! I work a ton so it's getting difficult, but I will do my best to give you an update at least once a week if I can!

I also know that you all are anxious for Alex to talk to her mothers, but I think that things have to get worse before they can get better, so bare with me! I have big plans for the next chapter so don't give up on me yet!

Thanks so much for reading! -J

Chapter 7

"It wasn't that bad," Zoey assured Alex as soon as the brunette came off the stage after her audition that afternoon; Alex biting her lip as her eyes began to fill with tears. "You sounded great."

"I forgot the lyrics," Alex replied, holding back her tears of both embarrassment and disappointment. "I completely screwed it up."

"But you started off really strong and your voice is obviously amazing," Zoey continued in an attempt to make her friend feel better. "I bet Mrs. Greer didn't even notice. You'll still get the lead."

"Trust me she noticed," Alex said shaking her head as she ran her hands through her hair. "There's no way I'm getting the lead now. My voice completely cracked. I'll be lucky to be in the chorus."

"Lex…" Zoey began just as Spencer came rushing into the room, looking worried.

"Lex are you okay? What happened?" The taller brunette asked, having seen the whole audition from the back of the auditorium.

"I don't know," Alex sighed, wanting to cry even more now, but still fighting the tears. "I was fine and then all of a sudden I just went blank. I don't know what happened," she repeated.

But that wasn't really the truth. Because if she was being honest with herself, Alex did know what happened. After her nightmare the night before the teen had struggled to fall asleep; waking up the next morning feeling groggy and downright miserable. Haley had attempted to talk to her during breakfast, but Alex had basically brushed her off, asking if they could leave for school early, claiming that she had agreed to meet Zoey before classes started.

The rest of the day had been difficult for the young brunette as she spent most of the day fighting sleep, and struggled to keep her focus in all of her classes. By the time the last bell of the day rang, Alex was a ball of nerves; suddenly unable to even remember the song she had chosen. And as she stood on the stage with Mrs. Greer and several over students watching her, she had found herself simply unable to perform.

"Did something happen?" Spencer asked, both she and Zoey watching her carefully. "I mean you seemed a little out of it today. What's going on?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine," Alex replied rubbing her hands over her face.

"You know you say you're fine so much I'm not even sure you know what it means anymore," Spencer said, shaking her head. "We're your friends Alex. We know something's wrong so why won't you just talk to us?" She asked, now sounding frustrated. "Is it still the whole not sleeping thing?"

"What?" Alex exclaimed incredulously, looking towards Zoey and then back to Spencer, unable to believe that her friend would bring that up when she had told her she was having nightmares in confidence. "No it's…I…God I'm fine okay! I forgot the lyrics that's all, so just drop it!" She said, yelling now. "I'm not talking about this." She finished, bending over to grab her backpack before turning away from her friends.

"You can't just shut everyone out Alex," Spencer called despite the fact that the shorter brunette was already walking away. "It's going to eat you up inside. You can't just push everyone away."

"I have to go," Alex called, ignoring her friend. "I'll see you guys tomorrow," she said rather unemotionally, heading through the hallways without looking back, knowing Haley would be waiting for her out front.

Waiting in her car, parked in the same place she had dropped Alex off at that morning, Haley was turned around in her seat, talking to Jack in the back who was babbling along happily with his mother. Noticing Alex approaching the car, Haley initially smiled, her grin eventually falling when she took note of the sad look on the teen's face.

"Hey," Haley greeted when Alex opened the passenger's side door. "How'd it go?" She asked, not wanting to ask what was wrong right away, knowing Alex was likely to claim she was fine.

"Not great," Alex shrugged, fastening her seatbelt before turning towards the window, hoping the blonde would take the hint and leave her be.

"I bet you did a lot better than you think," Haley assured her as she pulled out of the school parking lot.

"I doubt it," Alex replied in a whisper that Haley just barely heard, the teen brushing away a tear discretely, keeping her attention focused on the window, unable to meet Haley's eye. Knowing how Alex could be, Haley decided to let it go for now; giving the teen a chance to collect herself during the drive since she was pretty certain she had seen her brush away a tear.

It wasn't until Haley had opened the gate to the Hotchner driveway that she finally spoke, startling Alex from her thoughts. "Hey look who's home," she said, pointing to the two cars in the driveway; Alex immediately recognizing one as her mother's. "I didn't think they'd be back today. Aaron never called."

Simply nodding Alex grabbed her bag and followed Haley out of the car, waiting as she collected Jack from the backseat before they both made their way towards the house, Alex still quiet. "I didn't know you would be home today," Haley called as they walked into the house, Hotch, Emily and JJ immediately coming around into the entryway, having been waiting for the trio to arrive.

"I thought I'd surprise you," Hotch smiled, placing a kiss on Haley's cheek before taking Jack from her arms.

"We also forgot that Alex would be out late today," Emily added, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around the teen. "Hey kid. We missed you."

"I missed you too," Alex replied quietly, hugging her mom tightly as she felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes, desperately trying to prevent herself from breaking down in front of Haley and Hotch. "Hi JJ," she then greeted, letting go of her mother in order to give the blonde a hug as well.

"God I'm glad to see you," JJ greeted, pulling the teen as close as her stomach would allow her. "How'd your audition go?"

"Fine," Alex shrugged, briefly shifting her gaze towards Haley who was watching her carefully, looking disapproving at Alex's lie.

"And how has everything gone here Haley?" Emily asked, sharing an understanding look with the blonde, both remembering their conversation that morning. "I hope this hasn't been too much trouble."

"It's been no trouble at all," Haley assured her with a smile. "Alex is welcome here anytime."

"Thank you," Emily smiled, grateful for Haley's help, and happy that the blonde had told her about what was going on with her daughter; now anxious to talk to Alex about it herself. "We should get out of your hair though. Lex why don't you got get your things," she suggested, Alex nodding before heading for the stairs so she could collect her things from the guest bedroom. "How has she been today?" Emily asked once the teen was out of earshot.

"Pretty much like this," Haley said gesturing towards the stairs. "She barely said a word this morning and she looked really upset when I picked her up," she explained. "I think something happened but she wouldn't tell me what. I didn't really want to push it too much."

"No I know," Emily nodded. "Trust me I know how she can be," she said. "Thanks so much for everything though. And thank you for calling me this morning."

"Of course," Haley replied. "Hopefully you guys can get this all sorted out."

"We definitely have a long talk ahead of us," JJ said rubbing her stomach. "Hopefully we can get to the bottom of all of this and get our Alex back."

"God I hope so," Emily sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I really hope so."

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When Haley had called Emily that morning to tell her about Alex's nightmares the brunette wasn't all that surprised, but she immediately felt terrible. She didn't know how she could have missed the signs. Alex had been irritable, quiet and distant for quite some time; exactly how she acted whenever she was struggling with sleep. The teen was scared, and Emily couldn't really blame her. Alex had been through more than anyone her age should ever have to face and it was obviously getting to her, but Emily just wished that the teen would come to her about it.

On the flight back to Virginia, JJ and Emily discussed Alex at great lengths, knowing they needed to talk to the teen and get her to open up; something, which they knew they wanted to do together. As much as Emily knew she needed to talk to her daughter she also knew that was going to be easier said then done because as she had pointed out to JJ many times before, Alex was just like her. Alex could be stubborn and guarded, and she hated admitting when she was feeling weak.

Since they didn't want to overwhelm Alex and throw questions at her right away, JJ and Emily had decided that they would enjoy dinner together before attempting to talk to the teen; having not anticipated her surly mood.

"So you guys are doing Mary Poppins right?" JJ asked Alex towards the end of dinner even though Alex had barely said a word all night.

"We are," Alex nodded, pushing her food around her plate with her fork, not having much of an appetite.

"And should we look forward to seeing you in the lead again?" Emily asked. "I mean personally I think you would make a great Mary Poppins."

"I don't think that's going to happen," Alex replied, not looking up from her plate.

"What do you mean?" JJ asked, scrunching her brow in confusion. "I thought you said your audition went well."

"I said it was fine," Alex corrected the blonde. "But it was…it didn't exactly go well," she admitted, still pushing her food around.

"What happened?" Emily asked, sounding concerned, reaching out to stop the teen from playing with her food. "Alex, what's wrong?"

"I messed up," Alex shrugged, finally looking up at the older brunette. "I guess I got nervous or something and I forgot my lyrics," she explained, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment. "It was completely obvious, and it was awful so I'm not going to be getting the lead," she finished, directing her eyes towards the ceiling in order to fight off the impending tears.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," Emily said, reaching out and taking the teen's hand in hers.

"You know everyone has bad auditions," JJ added. "Mrs. Greer knows how amazing you are, I'm sure she'll take that into consideration."

"Yeah…maybe," Alex shrugged again, trying to act like it wasn't bothering her despite the fact that her eyes were watering.

"Was there any reason that you forgot your lyrics?" Emily asked carefully, trying to transition into the conversation she really wanted to have. "I mean has everything been okay? Are you feeling okay? Getting enough sleep?"

"I sleep," Alex replied vaguely, eyeing her mother wearily, suddenly wondering what she knew. "And I'm feeling fine. I mean I guess I've been a little off but I'm okay."

"Alex it's okay to admit if you're having trouble sleeping," JJ told the teen carefully. "You can tell us if you're having nightmares again. We completely understand."

"I'm not," Alex replied quickly looking up to find disbelieving looks on both her mothers' faces. "Why would you think….Haley," Alex suddenly realized. "She told you about last night." She stated once again letting her gaze fall towards her plate.

"Haley was concerned," Emily defended the blonde. "She thought we should know what was going on, but I don't understand why you didn't tell us. I mean Lex I've asked you more than once what was going on with you. We've asked you if there was anything you wanted to talk about and you just keep insisting that everything is fine," she said. "Everything obviously isn't fine honey. We need you to talk to us. Alex please talk to us."

"There's nothing to talk about," Alex argued shaking her head. "So I had a nightmare it's not a big deal. I apologized for waking Haley up. I'm not sure why she had to tell you."

"She told us because she was pretty sure that this was a recurring thing and we both agree," Emily replied, doing her best to remain calm and not get frustrated with the teen. "Honey you've been off since I went back to work. You've obviously been having nightmares since then and we missed the signs, and I'm truly sorry about that, but talk to us now. Don't shut us out," she said, unknowingly repeating Spencer's words from earlier that day.

"I don't know what you want me to talk about," Alex replied stubbornly. "So I'm having nightmares. And yes I've been having them for a while. But like I said I'm fine."

"Lex you're practically a zombie half the time and you're barely talking to us," JJ argued. "And look what happened today. You're obviously not fine sweetheart. The dreams are affecting you."

"Talking about them might help," Emily added.

"Yeah I know, isn't that what you pay Dr. Sullivan for?" Alex snapped, her eyes watering with frustrated tears.

Alex knew that her mothers were only trying to help, and deep down she knew they were right, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell them about her nightmares. She was scared, and she knew they knew that, but Alex was still harboring an irrational anger towards her mothers; unsure how they could leave her back home while they worked when there was a serial killer out there that could potentially come after her.

"And have you been talking to Dr. Sullivan about this?" Emily asked, willing to bet that if she called the older woman and asked her she wouldn't have heard anything about the dreams that were currently haunting her daughter's sleep.

"I…" Alex hesitated, revealing her lie before she even said it. "Yes."

"Alex," Emily said warningly.

"Oh my God why can't you just drop this?" Alex finally shouted, a single tear falling down her cheek. "I said I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it, so why can't you just let it go?"

"Honey we're just," JJ began, immediately cut off by the frustrated teen.

"No! I'm not talking about it," she shouted, pushing her chair back and standing up. "I don't want to and you can't make me," she continued, not caring how immature she sounded. "Just leave me alone," she yelled before running away from the table and up the stairs towards her room.

"Alex," Emily called, standing from her seat. "Alex come back here!" She yelled to no avail, sighing in frustration.

"Just give her a few minutes Em," JJ suggested, reaching out and placing her hand over the brunette's. "Let her calm down."

"A few minutes isn't going to help," Emily sighed, falling back into her chair, shaking her head. "I just don't know how things got so bad," she said sadly, prompting the blonde to give her hand a reassuring squeeze. "How did I let it get so bad?"