Chapter 16 THE LOCKER APRIL1698
Flying Dutchman paced back and forth outside Britannia's berth with increasing worry.
Britannia had gotten much worse these past few weeks.
Her fever soared and she could barely breathe at all.
Her coughing was probably the worst thing though.
As hard as she tried, Britannia just couldn't seem to clear her airways of the gunk that clogged them. The virus, whatever it was, prevented that.
It got so bad at times, Flying Dutchman had to smack her side repeatedly to prevent asphyxiation and lately, even that wasn't having as much of an affect as it used to.
Flying Dutchman had to face the real possibility that Britannia might not make it this time around.
The old ship was literally drowning in her own fluids.
Flying Dutchman visibly winced as she heard the awful hacking sound that she'd come to recognize as Britannia's cough nowadays.
It was followed a second later by a mental shriek. A cry for help.
Flying Dutchman whirled around and raced into the berth to Britannia's side.
Her mentor couldn't find the breath to speak her words so she resorted to using the bond.
It came in handy at times like these but Flying Dutchman knew, as surely did Britannia that it also caused pain.
By keeping the bond open between them, Britannia inadvertently insured that whatever she felt, Flying Dutchman would feel too.
The young fluyt could feel every harsh breath Britannia took, every pain filled cough. Every breath that felt as though she was breathing in fire, she could feel all of it.
And the more she felt, the more worried she got.
Britannia was very, very sick. There was no question about that.
A sense of loving concern washed over Flying Dutchman and she blinked, gazing down to meet Britannia's gentle gaze.
Despite her agony, Britannia's only thoughts were for her. She was worried for her.
"You're too selfless for your own good." Flying Dutchman scolded, rubbing her bow against hers gently and lovingly.
Britannia purred weakly, breaking into another coughing fit soon after.
As she spluttered and hacked, trying desperately to clear her lungs, Flying Dutchman rubbed her side, hoping to ease it for the time being.
When through, Britannia wheezed her thanks.
Flying Dutchman sighed. "Aren't you in the least bit concerned about your own well-being?" She asked.
Britannia's head flopped to one side as she tried to answer in gesture's rather than words.
"Carefully now." Flying Dutchman chided her as the effort sapped most of her strength.
Britannia's eyes flickered up to meet Flying Dutchman's.
Between gasps of breath she managed to say "I'm-only-concerned-for-you-Shadow."
"Shh, don't talk. Don't waste your energy." Flying Dutchman said sternly.
"Well-you-asked-so-I'm-answering." Britannia gasped.
"Go on then." Flying Dutchman said gently.
"The-only-thing-I-am-afraid-of-is-for-you. If-I-die, how-will-you-react?" She asked, hacking harshly to clear her throat.
"You're not going to die, Britannia. I won't let you die." Flying Dutchman whispered.
Secretly though, she was worried.
What if all her efforts were not good enough? She couldn't imagine a life without Britannia.
Her mentor meant everything to her and if she died…
"Please hold on, Britannia. Don't leave me…" She begged, her voice breaking.
She buried her bow in her mentor's hot side, tears running down the sides of her bow.
That's when she felt Britannia's hot breath against her ear as the older ship nuzzled her.
Finding her voice briefly, Flying Dutchman said "I love you."
Britannia's reply was barely a whisper but her words came out clear as she replied "I love you."
Flying Dutchman turned and while Britannia still had her bow raised she kissed her, hard.
A bit surprised at first, Britannia returned Flying Dutchman's passion, her bowsprit boom digging into her apprentice's shoulder.
Flying Dutchman grunted, deepening the kiss as she pressed back.
Britannia, having no strength to fight, submitted, rolling on her back, keel up, against the dock as Flying Dutchman came down atop her.
She eventually had to break off to gasp for air, her sides shuddering as she coughed again.
Still panting, she gazed up at Flying Dutchman, eternal love in her eyes, as her apprentice moved her lips downward, placing light kisses all down Britannia's keel.
"Don't you dare leave me." Flying Dutchman begged.
"W-wouldn't dream of it." Britannia replied, breathless.
A part of her wanted Flying Dutchman to continue and was disappointed when the younger ship backed off.
But she knew, just as well as Flying Dutchman did, that she was in no condition for intimacy at the moment.
Flying Dutchman backed off and Britannia lie there keel up in the berth, being unable to right herself.
Whimpering, Flying Dutchman nudged her.
"I'm alright." Britannia rasped. "But it seems I lack the ability to find my keel as it were."
Digging her teeth into the sides of Britannia's bow, Flying Dutchman pulled her upright.
The old ship proceeded to lean against her apprentice, harsh coughs wracking her frail frame.
Every one of her ribs showed and the lack of strength that Flying Dutchman could feel in her mentor's body frightened her.
Britannia hadn't been eating. She'd been coughing so much Flying Dutchman was afraid she'd choke herself.
But now she knew that somehow she would have to get food into her weakened mentor.
"Think you can keep some food down?" She asked her.
Britannia nodded and shifted back against the dock.
"I'll be back soon." Flying Dutchman promised her and raced out.
She returned an hour later with a swordfish.
Finding Britannia halfway out of the berth, lying on her side motionless, Flying Dutchman set the now forgotten swordfish on the dock and raced over to her.
"Britannia, Britannia?!" She cried, nudging her mentor harshly.
She got no response from the old ship.
Desperately reaching out over the bond, Flying Dutchman could sense nothing. Either Britannia was blocking her or the worst had happened.
But if it had, surely she would've felt it. Britannia had told her, shown her from her memories, what a broken bond looked like. It couldn't be missed.
"Unless," A voice in her head told her. "Britannia blocked the bond as it was severed, to spare you the pain."
Somehow Flying Dutchman doubted that would happen.
She pressed her ear to Britannia's still, warm hull and heard, much to her relief, a faint, thready, but still existent heartbeat.
"You know how to give me a scare, Britannia!" She cried in relief, kissing the old ship repeatedly.
Britannia mumbled something unintelligible.
"What was that?" Flying Dutchman asked.
"Shadow.." Britannia groaned.
"I'm here. I'm right here." Flying Dutchman assured her.
"You were gone, a long time…" Britannia rasped.
"So you tried to come after me." Flying Dutchman realized.
Britannia nodded in conformation.
"Why not use the bond?" Flying Dutchman asked.
"Can't." Britannia replied. "Can't project, anything…"
Flying Dutchman sighed. "You lack the strength to project your thoughts. I understand." She said.
Plucking her from the sea which could easily be done because she'd become so light, Flying Dutchman carried Britannia back to her berth.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" Flying Dutchman growled.
"I won't." Britannia promised. "I'll be a good girl."
"I know you will." Flying Dutchman said. "You can start by eating this swordfish."
Gently, she placed the dead carcass in front of Britannia.
Britannia sniffed it, then pulled back.
"I know, it's not gutted but it won't kill you. It might actually help you even. Carolina told me entrails work on some of her patients." Flying Dutchman said.
Britannia fixed Flying Dutchman with an irritated glare.
It was a glare that said that wasn't what she meant. She was being misunderstood.
"Oh, so then what is it?" Flying Dutchman asked.
Britannia tried to push off from against the dock but she ended up falling back against it. She had no strength whatsoever.
"You can't bite into it. You can't even chew." Flying Dutchman realized.
Britannia bobbed her head slightly in conformation.
"I think I might have a way around that." Flying Dutchman said.
Biting into the swordfish herself she took a large piece of succulent meat then tore it into smaller sections.
She took the first small section and began chewing it. Once it was sufficiently chewed, she turned to Britannia, mouth full of meat.
Britannia understood what her apprentice was trying to do and opened her jaws slightly as Flying Dutchman dumped the half chewed meat into her mouth.
Britannia took several bites like this before she nodded for Flying Dutchman to stop.
Flying Dutchman nudged the half eaten swordfish away, allowing Britannia to lean on her once more.
"Rest well, my love." She whispered.
Britannia purred contentedly, nuzzling her apprentice's side before falling asleep beside her.
Flying Dutchman watched her. The past few weeks had been rough. Some days Britannia was better than others, some days she was worse.
This was one of Britannia's good days and still she could see the veiled glassy pain behind her eyes. She could hear the harshness of her cough.
Other days, Britannia was silent and still, the only sign of life being the faint rise and fall of her flanks and the hot breath from her nose.
Flying Dutchman didn't want to lose Britannia. She couldn't lose her, wouldn't! She'd sworn it!
But a part of her began to wonder if keeping Britannia alive was the right thing to do.
Her mentor was suffering, that much was clear.
Flying Dutchman could sense death circling her dear mentor and each day it seemed to seem deeper into her bones.
A chill ran down her spine at the very thought of what that image conjured.
Flying Dutchman wished with all her heart she didn't have to be facing such a question as the one that ran through her mind now.
She wanted so badly to keep Britannia alive, but would it be more merciful to just let her die?