I was going to wait and post this tomorrow but I just love this chapter so much and was eager to share it with all of you.
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Chapter Five.
Another fight. Another stupid fight that hadn't been much of a fight since it was just Maggie yelling and crying and Beth standing there as she always did, not saying anything in defense of herself. Her daddy had tried to get them both to just calm down and go in their separate corners for a while. For Maggie, that meant stomping around the house, yelling at daddy for not doing more and for Beth, that meant leaving the house as quickly as she could.
She walked past the barn, considering for a moment to take her horse, Nelly, for a ride but she didn't want to spare the time to saddle her up. She wanted to just get as far as she could in that moment and she didn't want to linger. She kept walking and slipped into the woods and tried to keep from crying as she walked without a destination in mind or looking to where she was going.
It seemed like all Maggie did these days was yell at her. If she had known that coming back to the farm from Atlanta would just be a constant punching bag for all of her sister's fears and frustrations, she would have told her daddy that he had Maggie and Shawn and he didn't need her, too. But Beth loved her family more than anything and would do anything for them so when Shawn called, asking her to move back home and help with both daddy and the bills, she had done just that without a second thought.
No matter how much she ate, no matter how many pounds she gained back, none of it was ever good enough for Maggie. All Maggie saw whenever she looked at her was a younger girl in a blue hospital gown, a bandage around her wrist and food having to be pumped into her veins through an IV. Beth knew she was still sick – she would always be sick and battling this disease – but she was better. Truly, she was. Maggie just didn't want to see it. When Maggie had asked her what she had eaten for lunch, Beth had thought that Maggie had been asking just to ask and she had truthfully responded rice and some strawberries. Maggie had exploded though because to her, that wasn't nearly enough.
It was never enough.
And Beth was just so tired of never being able to please her older sister in anything she did. She loved Maggie so much. She had always looked to her sister as one of her best friends but she knew Maggie looked to her as nothing more than a burden she always had to take care of even though Beth never asked her to.
She couldn't stop the tears once the first few escaped her eyes and they streamed now in great torrents down her cheeks, sobs ripping from her throat, and she kept walking, leaves crunching beneath her feet, stepping over fallen tree limbs.
She didn't look to where she was going and she knew she was going to get lost again but she didn't care. Anywhere she wound up would be better than being home right now. Her daddy and Shawn trusted her when she said she ate so why couldn't Maggie? Was she forever just going to be sixteen whenever Maggie looked at her?
When she heard thunder rumbling off in the distance, she finally lifted her head and looked at her surroundings. Just as she suspected, she recognized absolutely nothing. She turned in a slow circle as if that would magically help her point herself in the right direction but she saw nothing that sparked her recognition and when she heard the thunder again, it seemed to be growing even closer. She looked up and saw the gray clouds moving in and she sighed to herself. Of course she would get lost when a rainstorm was about to hit.
She kept walking in the direction she was facing even though she didn't know if this was the right way or not – she doubted it – and as she looked ahead, she saw something white through the trees. She walked a little quicker and couldn't help but sigh with relief when she saw that it was a trailer – a familiar pickup truck parked out in front of it. She stopped for a moment, looking at it. Just a simple white trailer with an awning over the front door, a front deck built onto it with a lawn chair. There was a shed built off to the side, the door closed and locked with a heavy padlock. That must be where he kept his motorcycle.
A crash of thunder seemingly directly overhead made her jump and she hurried from the trees and up the steps just as the first drops of rain began to fall. She knocked on the trailer's door, hoping he was home. And if he wasn't, she hoped he wouldn't mind if she stood on his porch until the storm passed.
She knocked again and heard movement from inside and when the door opened, even though she knew it was his trailer the instant she saw the truck, seeing Daryl on the other side of the screen door made her feel a rush of relief.
"Beth?" He frowned as if he wasn't trusting that his eyes were really seeing her.
"Hi," she greeted lamely. Through the door, she saw him wearing jeans and a flannel shirt and he looked so relaxed and handsome, she suddenly seemed to realize that she was standing at Daryl Dixon's front door. Her heart began skipping beats. "I was walking and I got lost…"
He looked like he wanted to smirk and he shook his head. "Bad habit you got goin' on there, girl," he said.
"I know," she nodded, almost smiling herself. "I'm sorry to impose but do you think I could come in? Just for a little bit until the storm passes?"
He stood there and she felt herself holding her breath. There was no way he was going to let her in and she felt like an idiot for even thinking of asking the question, let alone actually giving it voice.
But then he reached his arm out and unlocked the door, pushing it open. Beth gave him a grateful smile as he stepped aside so she could enter the small, warm trailer and he locked and closed both doors again behind her.
The clouds above seemed to open and within seconds, rain pounded on the trailer roof loudly. She couldn't help but look around – the worn yet comfortable-looking brown couch and brown recliner. The old television on a simple small table. The simple blue rug beneath her feet. Everything was in shades of browns and greens and blues and being in his house was like being out in the woods. It was all so clean and tidy and that didn't surprise her considering she watched him every day at the garage cleaning up his station long after all of the other guys had left.
"Thank you," she said, giving him a small smile, tightening the sweater around her.
"Cold?" He asked.
"I'm always cold," she smiled a little easier now.
"Noticed that," he nodded.
He moved past her and she watched as he went to the couch where he had a green knit blanket folded over the back of it. Without a word, he shook it out and then handed it to her.
She was surprised for a moment and she knew that he probably saw that but he didn't say anything about it. "Thank you," she said again and taking the blanket, she wrapped it around herself. "It's so warm."
"My friend, Carol, made it for me. I'll let her know you said that," Daryl said and then moved past her, stepping to the stove.
Friend Carol. Beth was not going to jump to conclusions even as she felt her stomach plummet to her feet. Friend. Maybe she really was just a friend. And if she wasn't, if she was something more, it didn't really matter because Daryl didn't even like her, Beth had to remind herself. She was just the girl who worked at the garage and who somehow annoyed him even though she could never think of anything she had ever actually done to him that would make him dislike her so much.
She couldn't quite believe that he had let her into his home and she was now standing here with one of his blankets wrapped around her shoulders. Everything smelled like him. Like leather and soap and the earth. She stood there and kept waiting for herself to wake up. Maybe she had tripped out there somewhere in the woods and was lying unconscious.
"Do you have a phone?" She asked him suddenly. "I want to let my daddy know that I'm somewhere safe and that I'm alright."
Daryl didn't say anything. He turned and went into what she assumed was the bedroom in the back and then came back with a scratched and beaten looking flip phone. He handed it to her without a word and then went back to the stove, where he was stirring something in a pot.
"Thank you," she said softly once more before dialing home.
"Beth?" Shawn answered after the first ring. "Where are you? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I walked to a friend's house. I'm going to stay here until the storm passes," Beth replied back. "Don't worry."
"I'm sorry about earlier," Shawn said. "Maggie's sorry, too."
"It's not your fault, Shawn, and I actually doubt that Maggie's sorry. I'll go back home and the two of us will pretend that nothing ever happened and that's how it always is with her. She'll be yelling at me about food again tomorrow and we all know it."
Shawn sighed but didn't say anything. "You swear you're fine?"
"I'm fine. I'll be home soon," she said and with that, she slapped the phone shut, ending the call. She wasn't angry at Shawn but she didn't want to talk to her brother either, right now. She didn't want to talk to any member of her family right now.
She slid the phone onto the small eating table and tightened the blanket around her. The wind was howling against the sides of the trailer and the rain was falling harder. She looked to Daryl, knowing he had obviously heard every word she said, but he was still stirring and he was acting as if she wasn't even there. She had no idea what to do with herself.
Something caught her eye on the end table beside the couch and she looked at him before curiosity overtook her and she went to the books he had stacked there. She didn't mean to snoop but they were out in the open and he could clearly see what she was doing. If he didn't want her to look, he would have told her so already.
They were all hardback books with the cover art looking like they all were editions printed in the sixties and seventies. Frankenstein, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Red Badge of Courage and The Crucible. She had read all of these in high school but she didn't say that and she didn't ask why he was reading these. She put the books down and slowly turned back towards him.
"You hungry?" He asked, breaking the silence in a lull between thunder bursts. "It's nothin' special. Just some rabbit stew," he said.
"Is that the rabbit you got when I was with you?" She asked, taking a step forward.
He nodded and reached up into a cabinet, taking down two plastic bowls even though she didn't say she would have any.
"Thank you but I'm alright. I had lunch a little while ago and I'm still full," she said.
That made him look at her and after a minute, he snorted and shook his head, turning back towards the stove. Beth felt a familiar bristle on the back of her neck.
"What?" She dared to ask.
Daryl just shook his head and took one of the bowls, ladling a large helping of the stew from the pot. He then grabbed a spoon and sat down at the table, all without saying anything. He glanced at her for a moment before smirking and shaking his head again, looking down to the stew as he began to eat.
"What?" She asked again, almost demanding it now, feeling herself getting angry.
She had just gotten this from Maggie. She didn't need this from him, too.
He shrugged, looking at her again. "Nothin'," he said though it was clearly something and she stood there, her jaw set and her eyes glaring at him. "If you wanna starve yourself, that's your business."
"I'm not starving myself!" She snapped at him.
"Not now or not anymore?" He was smirking again and she was becoming so infuriated by everything. That smirk and that look on his face like he knew exactly what he was talking about and he seemed to enjoy getting under her skin right now.
"You don't know what you're talking about, Daryl Dixon," she vocalized and her fingers tightened into the blanket so tightly, she felt her knuckles strain at the force.
She wished it wasn't pouring out so she could storm right out of his stupid trailer and get away from his stupid smirk.
Daryl nodded and ate another spoonful. "You're right. I don't. Ain't blind though."
And he was quiet after that. She stood there and watched him as he ate and the only sound was the rain pounding the roof over their heads. She still couldn't quite believe that she was in Daryl's home and now, to add to it, she couldn't believe that he had talked to her and she had talked back to him like she had. He deserved it though because he didn't know what he was talking about. No one knew. It was a small town, yes, and she knew that everyone thought they knew but they didn't. Not really. None of them knew her. Especially Daryl Dixon.
After another few minutes and she realized he wasn't going to say anything else, she slowly felt the tension in her shoulders start to ebb away. She loosened the death grip she had on the blanket and she felt the pressure ease in her chest as she began to breathe again. Slowly, she moved and eased herself into the bench seat across from him. He took another spoonful of stew into his mouth and then looked at her.
She looked at him and the thumping of her heart resumed. She was sitting in Daryl's trailer at his table with him right across from her. She could see the blueness of his eyes and the slight bags beneath his eyes as if he never got enough sleep and that one strand of hair that always seemed to hang in his face. And as she looked at him and her heart thumped, her stomach flipped and she knew she would probably never have this opportunity again. But she couldn't think of anything to say. Not a single thing and she knew Daryl wasn't going to take the silence and fill it.
"I was in the hospital for a while and then a special clinic for… for people like me," she heard herself say and Daryl slowly lifted his eyes to look at her. She told herself she didn't want to look at him but she couldn't bring herself to look away. She saw no judgment on his face. No pity either. "I'm not cured. I'll…" she swallowed. "I'll never be cured. But I'm better."
She looked at him and felt herself holding her breath again as she waited for him to say something. She didn't know why she told him that. She never told anyone. All he did was stand up though and she watched as he went to the stove, ladling himself another helping of rabbit stew. She watched as he then picked up the second bowl and ladled a helping into that one and he came back to the table, placing the other bowl in front of her without a word. He sat down and began eating again and Beth stared down at the steaming stew now sitting in front of her.
And she had no idea why after a moment, she picked up the spoon beside the bowl and she dunked it into the stew. She blew on it before guiding it into her mouth. She let the taste settle over her tongue – meat and vegetables – and she lifted her eyes. He wasn't looking at her but he must have felt her eyes on him because he lifted his own then and they looked at one another.
She gave a small smile. "It's really good."
Daryl nodded and gave a shrug. "It's a'right."
She gave him another small smile as she took another spoonful.
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