Become the Memelord, Kazuya

by QueenOfEllipses

A memer, a furry, a pimp, and a bunch of other crazy pals try to get rid of the demons in Tokyo to prevent God and his army of social justice warriors from enslaving mankind. The "I have no idea where this is heading" AU.

5. Up

Queen: ...

Kazuya: ...

Queen: ...So...

Kazuya: ...are you kidding me?

Queen: Might as well knock this out early on too.

Kazuya: Does this even count as a meme?

Queen: Spiritually.

Kazuya: Okay then.

Queen: *cough* So, here's where things get especially shitty, because I kinda forgot how things go after this, but for the purpose of this story, that might make things better.

Kazuya: You better hope it does.

Queen: It probably won't, but that's okay. I'll wing it. This story was shit to begin with, but who knows, it might start getting good. Especially when I try to BS the scenes where Gin, Honda, and Kaido get their COMPs... ohoho this'll be gr9.

Kazuya: *sigh* You don't even know where this story is going yourself. It's become less of a crackfic, more of a "What if I was a memer, got kicked out of my house, and ended up living with Naoya, who is a brony now because of something something something and Loki's here too" AU. Misleading... *looks at script* "Disclaimer. Queen doesn't own Devil Survivor or the Shin Megami Tensei series. That all rightfully belongs to beloved Atlus." What the fuck.

Queen: On with the show~!

Kazuya: Too much dialogue...

"A DEMON?!"

"Yee."

"Iyaaaa, demons?! You mean like, from books and myths and stuff? Kazu, are you serious?!"

"Yee."

"And the that purple creep is a demon?"

"Yee."

"So, those things came out of the COMPs?"

"Yee."

Yuzu huffed and turned to face Atsuro. "Atsuro, what did you do?!"

Before Yuzu you get her hands on Atsuro, who was sweating bullets, Loki, surprisingly, stepped in to intervene. "Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty. However, neither of you will ever look as magnificent as me. Now, Yoohoo-tan, he-"

"DON'T call me that," Yuzu interrupted.

Loki continued, ignoring her. "-was meant to do that. You two needed those COMPs, and defeating those demons is proof of your worth. You may now use them whenever you please by using the Demon Summoning System. Of course, the fact that I helped doesn't give you a lot to be proud of about yourselves, but I suppose that doesn't matter." He finished, shutting his eyes and smiling.

Yuzu's shoulders shook in anger in angry at the underlying meaning behind Loki's remark as Atsuro began to voice his own thoughts. "Why do we need these? What's going on?"

Loki waved a hand in his direction. "Oh, Otakuro-tan, that one's simple, see-"

"I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't call me that."

"-we need to make Kazu-tan here the Memelord by the end of the week! To do so, we need to kill everyone who gets in our way!" Loki's grin stretched out even wider.

Atsuro cocked his head sideways. "Memelord? What is that, like and Overlord? But a memer also?"

Loki golf clapped. "Ding ding ding! Bingo, Otakuro-tan! A plus!"

My friend frowned at that, but continued his interrogation. "A...Anyway, what is this whole Overlord business about? And how did this COMP summon... demons?"

The purple clad man strutted over to where Naoya, who had remained quiet this whole time, stood. "That question also has a simple answer. But for now, a question of my own. What happens after you die if you've lived a life full of sins?"

"Eh? Uh, well, they allegedly go to Hell, right?" Atsuro stuttered, obviously caught off guard by that type of question.

The demon nodded. "Correct. But now, don't you find that unfair? Rules are one thing, of course, but the man up there has humanity wrapped around his little finger. As long as you play by his rules, you get to live a happy afterlife up there with him and those angels. Anything else, and you're condemned to burning for eternity for your crimes. The goal of the Overlord is to see that humanity gains it's freedom from him. Humans should have the right to decide whether they go up or down. No God should be able to judge you like that, you know?" He smirked, looking at the ground as he threw his arm over Naoya's shoulder. Naoya didn't seem to mind, or at least wasn't paying enough attention to care. He seemed very deep in thought. His handsome face was cold and distant. "I know of a story of someone who may have committed a teensy weensy little sin and was given a type of immorality as punishment. It's said that even after they're soul is reincarnated, they continue to remember everything from their past."

...yeeaaahh.

Atsuro and Yuzu both had an expression that screamed, "What the fuck?"

I awkwardly cleared my throat. "Basically, I become king of demons, we kill God, give humanity it's freedom, and I become the embodiment of memes. I think that sounds pretty cool."

"Kill...?" Yuzu muttered to herself, almost as if she hadn't heard me. Atsuro began speaking right when she did.

"No offense, bruh, but you and I both know you're in it for the memes." He stared at me.

...It's true, it's it? I can almost hear the sad airhorns... I'm trash, aren't-

"A~ny~way!" Loki interrupted, yawning, "Otakuro-tan, I still need to answer your other question!" He paused for a moment. "...You know demons are said the be summoned in rituals, hmm?" Both of my friends nodded. "Well, it's sorta like converting the spells and procedures into programs. Make sense?"

In unison, Yuzu and Atsuro said, "No."

Loki clapped. "Exactly."

"Am I really the only one seeing this?"

It took only a moment to realize that that question had come from Naoya, who finally seemed aware of his surroundings. He continued to gaze above my head as well as the others' also.

"See what, Naoya?"

"Numbers. Above our heads. Well, except that guy's..." he glanced to the side at Loki, who still had his arm around him, and surprisingly did nothing other than frown. "Yuzu and Atsuro, the numbers around you and I say one, while Kazuya, your's is... constantly fluctuating. It also currently says one. Everyone else we've passed by until now had the number seven. Well, no, I think that kid had..." He tilted his head down and shook his head. He muttered, mostly to himself, "I feel like I've seen these before..."

Loki patted Naoya on the head. "Oh, probably just your imagination, sweetie. You watch too many cartoons. Those numbers signify how many days you nerds have left to live. It's called the Death Clock. So original."

A silence swept through the three of us. Naoya, on the other hand, didn't seem too shocked, or at least, he didn't show any sign that he was.

"Ehhhhh?! So that means we have only ONE day left to live?!" Yuzu's mouth was agape.

Loki stroked his goatee. "Yeah, but it doesn't HAVE to be a day. Change your fate and shit, ya know?"

"What about me? You said," I looked at Naoya, "the number above me is changing?" What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? That I can just die whenever?

"Yes," he replied. "I've seen it change from one to zero in a matter of seconds. I suppose that means there have been several potential chances of death for you already thus far. I don't like that..."

"Ahem, cough cough, oh, we have a day to ponder that, let's head on down to Aoyama. We need to check out that explosion, right? Humm, we have a little less than an hour to get there... Wanna go get something to eat? I heard they have a new My Little Pony special edition ice cream at that one place in Omotesando that comes with a limited edition toy, so, cough cough." Naoya's eye twitched as Loki spoke.

"Perhaps we should go. It's... been a long day. Yeah. And hot. Ice cream is great to have on a hot day. Mmhmm. We don't have to be in Aoyama until 19:00 anyway, so. Yes." Damn you Naoya.

"Hold up. How come only he can see the Death Clock? None of us can see it, I don't believe. I'm the one who's gonna be the Memelord..." A single tear rolled down my cheek.

Yuzu also spoke up. "Yeah, and why do we need to go to Aoyama? What explosion?"

I looked at her. "Didn't you read the email?"

"Email? What email?"

"The Laplace mail."

"Lapla-what?"

"Ah, I forgot. Naoya-tan, you can add the others to your COMP via friend code so they'll get the emails too. Their COMPs don't get the predictions for some reason. Can't hazard a guess as to why!~" Loki explained. I just don't know if it's a good idea to trust this bastard, honestly. I bet he's a menenist. "Only the leader of the group can see the Death Clock. Leadership can easily be shifted from one person to another. You all will still get the emails. If you really want to, you'd need to first turn on your COMP, Kazu-tan."

Oh. My COMP. I slipped the white game player out of my pocket as I realized I haven't even turned it on yet. Or applied those raeg face stickers. I opened it up and pressed the power button.

"Can you unlock all that shit for me?" I asked, handing my COMP to Atsuro.

"Eh? Why me?"

"You like getting the practice don't you?"

Atsuro blushed. "Bruh..."

He plopped down on the ground and began typing away. Yuzu sat beside him.

"So..."

I sat beside her. "Sorry for being dragged away earlier. We should have stayed with you two."

Yuzu also blushed and waved her hands out in front of her face. "Oh, no, it must have been important, right? Thanks for thinking about us, though. It really means a lot."

"Sure!" I smiled at her. She, in turn, swooned and fainted. Same old Yuzu.

"Aaaaand... Got it! Okay, get ready, Kazuya! A demon's about to pop out!"

Just as Atsuro finished his sentence, the COMP flashed a bright light, and I stood up, poised and ready to fight.

The demon that came out was a rather small snowman clad in blue. The little demon down at himself and then up at me, eyes wide with what seemed to be astonishment.

"K-K-Kazuya-sama! Hee-how did I get here?! Where is...?! What is...?! ...eh?" The snowman looked around, obviously as puzzled as we were. "I can't se-hee-em to remember what I was doing a few days ag-ho..." The demon's face fell. I was still trying to process what he was saying.

"D-do you know me or something? Are we gonna fight or what?" I wanted to build a snowman as much as the next guy, but I couldn't tell if that guy liked warm hugs or not.

Loki walked over and lifted the snowman up off his feet by his collar. "Ohohoh~? A Jack Frost? Now what are you rambling on about?" He had an eerie grin on his face as he... set the snowman on fire?

"Wha- hey, hold on a sec!" I wanted to hear what that guy was saying!

In a flash, the snowman, Jack Frost, was gone.

I stomped over to where Loki stood. "What the hell? He was saying some interesting shit! Plus, he seemed harmless..." I heard a silent, "And cute..." from behind me, presumably from Naoya. Okay, Tear Grants, now's not the time.

The pimp shrugged. "Oh, Jack Frosts say the sketchiest of things."

"And you don't?" Atsuro supplied. "You seem pretty shady yourself, Mr. Demon."

"Not my point. He was probably a supporter of the Memelord, that's all. He probably didn't like all the other Bels, and gained wind of a new Bel about to awaken. He's in your COMP now if you that desperately want to speak with him. I don't care. Really, we don't have time for ice cream anymore. We should hurry. We need to go to the Aoyama Cemetery. Chop chop." With that, he too disappeared.

"Ugh, geez, what was that all about? That dude is such a drama queen," Yuzu, whom I just then realized was conscious again, sighed.

Atsuro spoke up. "So, why do we have to go there?"

"The explosion..." He briefed me on the other events of the email before we got here: an explosion in Aoyama at 19:00 and the blackout at 21:00. It all seemed so unlikely, but after all that we've seen thus far...

"Kazu, WHAT explosion?" Yuzu asked. "You mentioned something about that earlier."

Ah. Whoops. "Sorry, I didn't get a chance to explain. It seems Naoya's COMP was the only one to receive it. It's hard to believe, but the emails predict the future."

Yuzu stared at me. "You expect me to accept something like that?"

"I'm sure you'll believe it soon. Regardless, we should go." Naoya turned and began walking.

"Eh- Wait, Naoya!" Atsuro ran after him. Yuzu and I followed suit.

When I caught up, I asked, "Did Loki return to your COMP, Naoya?"

"Who knows."

"He sure is a weird guy."

"You shouldn't trust him."

"I didn't say I did."

"Hmmph." He smirked. He then pulled the COMP out of his haori. "Perhaps I should summon him. Annoying that fucker will never be dull." An ominous aura emanated from his being for what seemed to be the fifth time today.

I felt a bead of sweat on my brow and forced a smile. "N-no, I don't think that's necessary. Hey, what about the whole leadership thing?"

"Whatever you want to do."

I looked over at Yuzu and Atsuro. "What do you guys think? Do either of you want to be the leader?"

Atsuro laughed. "Dude, no. I think you're more cut out for that. Sorry, Naoya, but Kazuya is stronger in the whole teamwork forte!"

"Yeah, I think Kazu would be a great leader!" Yuzu also agreed.

Naoya chuckled. "I concur. Okay," he took my COMP from my hands, "this will only take a moment.

While he was clicking buttons, a number appeared above their heads: the Death Clock. Naoya gave my COMP back.

"Do you see it?" he asked. I nodded. Everyone that walked by us had a seven above them. Above the four of us was the number one. We all have one day left to live. We die tomorrow...

...nah. Nah. Loki said we can change fate, right? Right? I mean, we already save Atsuro and Yuzu!

As if on cue, our all of our COMPs beeped. I opened up the email find find one new message.

"Demon tamer?" Yuzu said aloud. "So that's what we are now?"

"We can't form contracts with demons summoned by other COMPs, huh? So is this Demon Summoning Program common, or...?" Atsuro questioned.

I shook my head. "It shouldn't be, I wouldn't think. According to Loki, that group called the Shomonkai made these for their members. Naoya and I got several only because we have connections to one of the higher ups. A good friend." My cousin opened his colorful purse, revealing the seven or so COMPs that remained inside.

That is a good question though. Will we fight other people who also have COMPs?

"Maybe we should ask your snowman if he knows anything about that. I really don't trust anything that other guy says." Yuzu shuddered. I would never deny the fact that he does seem pretty hard to trust, but most things he's explained up 'til now seemed pretty accurate. Still, I'm more worried about why he's doing all this. Why should a demon care about humanity's free will?

Atsuro nodded. "Great idea, Yoohoo. The cemetery should be just up ahead. Let's summon Jack Frost once we're put of sight."

I looked at the clock on my COMP. It read 18:48. We sure have been out a long time. A hikikomori like me rarely stays out for more than an couple of hours. There's supposed to be a blackout start tomorrow, right? And this will last a week? I'm gonna puke. This week better be fulfilling, because I will regret it for the rest of my life if going through all of this trouble had been for naught. Become Memelord or bust.

I didn't notice how much time had passed until Yuzu yelled, "Hey, Kazu, there it is!"

Aoyama Cemetery.

Yuzu began to shake like leaf as we walked through the gates.

"Hoo, it's creepy here. Look at all those graves..."

"Well, what do you expect? It is a graveyard, after all. Nothing to worry about," Atsuro said, his chattering teeth betraying his words.

"Be careful," Naoya muttered. "Watch out for anything suspicious."

Just then, a large boom reverberated across the area. It had seemed to have come from the forest just past the graveyard. I looked up into the sky ahead to see a bright red fire and thick cloud of smoke attempt to reach the sky before it almost immediately dissipated. Atsuro and Yuzu looked at me, their eyes wide.

"Ahahah, eh, um, Kazuya, waaaaas that the, um-?"

"EXPLOSION?!"

I nodded.

Naoya stretched an arm out in front of me. "I sense something."

Thump.

Thump.

Something was coming.

Out of the forest appeared a tall beast. It looked like the offspring of a snowman and Bigfoot. It scanned us over, roaring loud as it glared at me.

"YOU."

It was running toward us. Naoya was the first to act, quickly pressing the button on his COMP to summon Loki. Nothing happened. The beast was getting closer. He pressed the button again. Like last time, nothing happened.

"What the hell?!" he grunted. "Where is that fucker?!"

Yuzu screamed. Atsuro summoned his own demon, which resembled a cat.

"Kabuso! Uh, use.." he glanced down at his COMP, "... Agi!"

The cat flicked it's paw, causing a flame to appear around the beast. It roared, stopping for a moment before powering through the fire.

"What?!" Atsuro looked at me, eyes wide in fear and confusion. "The COMP says it should be weak to fire! That should have done more damage!" The demon continued to make its way to us, albeit slower than before.

"No," I looked over at my cousin, who was staring as his own COMP as he spoke, "that demon, called Wendigo, is much stronger. It's level is 19, while Kabuso is only level 5. It's weakness IS fire, but, just like in Pokemon, simply having the stronger element won't do us any good. There's no way we can win without..." he trailed off, clicking his tongue. "Where the fuck is Loki..."

The Wendigo was in front of us. Yuzu summoned her own demon, Pixie, and tried to fight, but it was quickly knocked away. I summoned Jack Frost, who popped out of my COMP in a cute little cloud of snowflakes.

"Wendi-ho! You won't harm Kazuya-sama!" he proclaimed.

Wendigo ignored him and spoke directly to me. "WILL KILL YOU THIS TIME..." T-this time...?

"I've found you, Wendigo. I won't let you get away this time."

That voice...!

"Ama-"

"-ne?!"

Naoya and I turned around to see our fellow brony friend dressed in her Shomonkai outfit standing behind us. She had a determined look on her face and a pink COMP in her hands.

" H...!" The Wendigo turned all of it's attention to Amane.

Atsuro looked back at her too, screaming, "Hey, get out of here! It's too dangerous!"

Amane did not heed his warning and walked slowly between us to the Wendigo, throwing a wink in my direction.

"Wendigo," she threw a palm out in front of her, "go back from whence you came!"

The demon roared extremely loudly in pain as it burst into flames.

"WENCH...!"

The demon fell down to its knees.

"I WILL KILL YOU, KING." was the last thing the monster said before disappearing in a flash of blue light.

I dropped to the ground, glad that was over. My friends sighed and did the same. What the hell was Wendigo saying? King? Kill me "this time?" Urgh, tfw you got no idea what anyone is saying anymore.

"Amane."

"Naoya."

"...That was SUPER cool!" Naoya had an uncharacteristically chipper grin on his face that ironically made him look even creepier than usual.

"Oh, that was nothing." She placed a hand on here cheek and looked my way. "Hello, Kazuya."

I waved.

She suddenly slapped my cousin. "Okay, now why are you guys here? That demon was too powerful for you! I only gave you those COMPs this morning, after all! If I hadn't showed up, you would have..." she looked back at me. "Just, be careful. Run if you find a demon obviously stronger than you. I don't want you guys dying on me. We'll talk more later. That demon killed one of our members before coming here. I need to destroy it before it does the same to anyone else... I put a barrier that repels demons around the cemetery, so staying here tonight would be the safest choice. I'll see you tomorrow." She bowed and quickly scurried off. Naoya had his hand on his cheek where he was slapped as he observed her leave.

Yuzu watched as she left. "Who was that?"

I grinned. "A friend. Amane Kuzuryu." I flopped backwards, rubbing my eyes. "I'll tell you more about her tomorrow..."

"Wha-? Hey, Kazu!"

Jack Frost, who was still out of my COMP, came over to lay beside me.

Oh right, I needed to question him. I yawned. That would have to wait until tomorrow...

"W-whoa! The street lights just went out!" I heard Atsuro gasp.

Right, the blackout. 21:00.

Yuzu will complain about no phone reception, Amane will come back, introduce herself, talk about the barrier, we decide to sleep here, and... I yawned again... The three of us talk, and Naoya emails us, and...

And...

Kazuya: ...

Queen: ...

Kazuya: This really sucks.

Queen: Ye.