Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1a: ZombieCookieX made me more fanart! THREE PIECES, OH GOD. And they're drop-dead gorgeous and pretty and amazing, and you should check it out, RIGHT NOW.
Or after you read the chapter, it's your call. XDDDDDDDD But really, go and see. This girl's crazily talented, and I can't believe she is willing to draw me such fantastic fanart.
Just look up her name and scroll down a bit, you'll find it almost right away.

A/n1b: BUT: there are more great peeps who have drawn me fanart! Yes! Indeed! So please don't think your fanart isn't worth a shout out, because it totally is!
Now, just give me till next week, then I'll tell you what other great artists have spoiled me with the most amazing drawings in the past couple of months.^^

A/n2: Have an interesting funfact about some Europeans: did you know that 70% of all Irish, English and Spanish men are too chubby? They are apparently the fattest dudes of the continent!
So both England and Antonio are slightly overweight, you could say. Isn't that interesting? I've read fanfics with Lovi (or Alfred) being too heavy, but never the other way around! While most Italian men are apparently lanky as hell. So yeah!
Cherish this information. CHERISH IT.

A/n3: Talking about fanfics: I'd like to read a fanfic in which Lovino is the experienced bottom and Antonio the inexperienced top. Know what I mean? I have read fics about experienced!seme!Toni and I have read fics about experienced!seme!Lovino, but I've never read a fic in which Lovino is a bottom, but still the most experienced of the two of them and tells Antonio during their first time what a top should and shouldn't do. I think that could be pretty cute and romantic! ^^
So… does anybody know a fic that's kind of like this? 'Cause I'd love to read the crap out of that. 8DDDDDDDDDDDD

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 84:

It doesn't matter who my father was. It matters who I remember he was.
Anne Sexton
(American poet)

My face glowed up when Papa Lovi handed over my bowl to me.

I mean, yay! Oh, goodie! Tomato soup! I have always loved tomato soup!~

I'm not sure why, but tomato soup is, in my eyes, the best kind of soup. Yep. It's salty and also a bit sweet, and it doesn't taste like tomatoes at all, which is good, because I'm actually not very fond of tomatoes (they have such a strange, sharp flavor…).

…b-but I hope Papa Lovi and Papa Toni won't ever find out. Oh god. Their heart will break if I confess that I, as a matter of fact, enjoy almost every single vegetable, except for tomatoes.

…

It is a vegetable, right? Or is it a fruit? I should know this, I'm the only one sitting at this table that has any knowledge of plants and stuff… oh, wait, no, that's not entirely true, Papa Toni grows his own tomatoes, he probably should know more about that subject. Maybe I should as—

'Okay, can I have everyone's attention for a second?' Papa Lovi suddenly interrupted my thoughts, and I, just like Lulu and Allie, stopped slurping from our soup.

Papa Lovi, who had raised from his chair, frowned. 'Okay, first of all, you brats are fucking rude to just start stuffing your faces even before everybody has gotten his or her share of soup already. I mean, seriously – can you believe that, Antonio?'

'Hmm?' Papa Toni said, licking his smeared lips. 'Did you say anything, sweetie?'

Lulu, Allie and I started to snicker while Papa Lovi glared at our other father with squinted eyes.

'Oh, nothing, nothing, I didn't say anything at all – by the way, how's the soup, asshole? You know, that red, fluid stuff that I haven't got anything from yet?'

'It's very nice!~' Papa Toni grinned. 'You should have some as well, my love!'

'WELL WHAT AN IDEA. MAYBE I WILL.'

Papa Lovi, unable to give any other relatively decent responses to Papa Toni's oblivious comment, growled and poured some soup in his bowl for himself as well – and then he cleared his throat, as if he wanted to bring out a toast. Luckily, I saw it coming.

'The hell are you doing?' Papa Lovi confusedly asked me when I held up my glass of milk.

'Toasting?' I said.

Papa Lovi huffed. 'Well, um… do you mind listening to what I have to say, first? You can toast to whatever you want to toast right after that.'

'Oh.' Woops – looked like he didn't want to toast at all. Ahahahaha.

'Is that okay?' Papa Lovi smiled friendly at me. 'You can go right after I finished my… whatever I want to say. Alright?'

'Okay!~' I chirped, because he was nice to me!~

Wait a minute, did I just agree to bring out a toast now?

…

Oh, they'd probably forget about it soon enough, nothing to worry about…

Papa Lovi continued. 'So what I wanted to say is… Antonio and I… or… um… P-Papa Toni and I… we haven't seen you in ages. I wish that was an exaggeration, but sadly enough, it's the painful truth, and I can't even begin telling you how much it hurts to know that we missed many… m-many years. Your years.'

He stopped talking and looked down for a moment. I could see his lips were shaking a bit, and that made my lips shake as well.

'T-that's okay, papa…' Lulu said, who sat next to me. 'You and Papa Toni – you… you couldn't help it, remember? It's okay. We're not… mad or anything about that…'

'Luisa's right, dads, we're just mildly traumatized, that's all,' Allie breezily said, causing both Papa Toni and Papa Lovi to look up instantly and stare at him in horror.

'Oh GOD, you're TRAUMATIZED!' Papa Toni gasped.

'What have they DONE to you!' Papa Lovi stammered.

Allie grinned. 'Naaah, I'm screwing with you, we're just peachy. Can we eat our soup now?'

His grin faded right away when both our fathers sent him death glares and he even sank away in his seat a bit. It was pretty nice to see that there actually were people on this planet that could shut him and his stupid puns up. I mean, they weren't even funny most of the time – they were just mean! Or sarcastic!

Sarcasm is an awful thing. Allie once babysat Mia when I had a bossy customer that demanded me to come take a look at his garden, and when I came back, my daughter said all kinds of sassy things to me that I just couldn't understand. I had to call for a translator (Luisa) to come and help me find out what it was what Mia was telling me, and when I realized, Mia could go straight to bed. And Allie as well! Ha, he didn't see that one coming, I can tell you that much!

And no bedtime story!

'Anyway…' Papa Lovi carried on, still glaring at Allie, who tried to avoid eye contact, '…what I'm trying to say is… your father and I would like to hear more about you – naturally. So while we're having dinner, could you please… well… tell us more about yourselves?'

He sat down again and fidgeted with the table cloth.

'I-I know it's a strange question, but… I hope you understand.'

'Of course we understand!' Lulu said. 'And we'll be glad to tell you about ourselves! Right, guys?'

She elbowed both me and Alejo, and we hissed an 'ouch!' before nodding obediently. The elbow-nudge wasn't only Luisa asking us to agree with her – it was also Luisa reminding us of the fact that we weren't supposed to tell them too much. In other words: I had to keep my mouth shut about Mia and Raquel. But was I allowed to talk about, say, Kay? And was Allie allowed to talk about his troublesome teenager years? And was Lulu allowed to talk about her status as a workless woman – a pregnant workless woman, even?

So many questions!

'I-I'm so glad you don't mind.' Papa Toni beamed a relieved smile at the three of us, which kind of stung. I really wanted to tell them all about the people most important to me, after all, but… but maybe that wasn't a good idea…

In that case, I'd better be the first one to start talking about himself!

'So I'm a florist,' I all of a sudden started, before my siblings could stop me, 'and… and in case you didn't know it yet, I'm… your florist. The company you called to help you out with your wedding anniversary? That's… that's mine.'

'I knew.' Papa Toni chuckled. 'I didn't know for long, but… I kind of found out when I looked at the work you and Raquel – the girl next door, you met her – have done.'

I internally eeped. 'I-I met her, yes.'

I even did more things than just meeting her but not a word about that because I could already feel Lulu's laser-eyes pricking in my sides warningly.

'It's great to see you put all that passion you had for flowers and plants into a profession you really love!' Papa Toni complimented me. 'Are things going alright?'

'Y-yes!' I said. 'Yes, it's going fine! I have a couple of employees and even though it's still a small business, I'm slowly but surely getting more attention from possible clients. Parties and the like are great for attracting new customers, and I have quite some on my schedule for the following months.'

'Matteo, a businessman.' Papa Lovi smiled and seemed to be amazed. 'Who knew that my dazzled little kid that used to walk into walls and pee all over the place would become the owner of a business one day?'

I got as red as a beet. 'Wha-! I-I never peed the bed!'

Papa Toni snickered. 'Noooo. Mia did, right?'

'As a matter of fact, she does have some accidents every now and then,' I admitted.

Papa Toni now blinked. 'What?'

'What?' I automatically said as well – and winced when Luisa gave me hard kick under the table.

'A-a-anyway,' I hastily stammered, promising myself to kick my evil little sister back the next time she attacked me, 'business is going well, and… and so am I! Ahahahahaha!~'

Papa Toni and Papa Lovi looked at me like I had totally lost it, and I actually couldn't blame them. B-but how should I have known they meant my other Mia, and not my current Mia? I-I mean, I barely got over the fact she wasn't here anymore – a memory I had apparently blocked from my brains – and now everybody expected me to just know what Mia they wanted to talk about, whenever they started talking about a Mia? That's just unreasonable!

'That's it?' Papa Lovi then asked me. 'Not that I mind, this is already very good for me and Antonio to hear, but… well, I was wondering… do you have another goal in your life you want to reach?'

'Absolutely!' I said, smiling broadly. 'I want to have a big family one day!~'

'Aww! That's so like you!~' Papa Toni cooed.

'It is!' Papa Lovi agreed. 'Is there a lucky lady in your life already?'

I firstly wanted to ignore Lulu's warning and tell him about Raquel and human!Mia anyway (he specifically asked for it, I didn't want to be secretive about it), but then I saw the looks on both his and Papa Toni's face.

Maybe I interpreted it wrongly, but it looked like they were thinking things like 'please be single, you're too young to be a committed father already, have you lived your life enthusiastically enough yet oh god please tell us YOU'RE STILL PLAYING WITH CACTI' and so, I just… well, told them a part of my life story.

The part that I spent with Kay.

I didn't see why I shouldn't tell them about her, and so, I did.

Papa Lovi and Papa Toni listened to me in almost complete silence. I could tell from the looks of their sorrowful, pained eyes that the both of them wanted to assure me that they had wanted to be there for me on the moment I realized I was going to lose the first big love of my life forever, but, well, life's unpredictable, you know – they weren't there when Kay passed away.

However, I promised them that I didn't dislike them or anything because of that. Oh, no no no. Absolutely not. I mean, back then, I wasn't busy with who my real parents were at all.

But, yes.

Looking back, I-I had liked it, if… if they had been there for me.

'Have… have you ever lost somebody who was so very close to you it actually tore up your heart a bit?' I heard myself ask them.

My fathers – the both of them now patting my back or head in a late, but still very much wanted sign they were here for me – gave each other a look, as if they wanted to see who of the two of them was going to answer that question.

'We lost… many, many people, Matteo.' Papa Toni folded his fingers together and squeezed his hands. 'Throughout the years, I have lost so many human friends, I'm sometimes amazed I don't cry myself to sleep every single night. I guess that's one of the pro's of being somebody that can't die: you know how to handle loss a whole lot better. But it still hurts – it hurts more than anything else.'

'Wait, so… you have been friends with humans?' Luisa asked him, her eyes spread wide open.

'Does that surprise you?' Papa Toni smiled.

'Well… well, yes.' Lulu frowned. 'I thought personifications weren't allowed to interact too much with people…'

'Oh no, we are allowed to interact with humans as much as we want, Luisa.' Papa Lovi explained. 'As long as we don't tell them we're immortal beings, everything's just fine. Of course, there were plenty of times where we accidentally gave away this secret anyway, but really – immortal personifications of countries are living among us, aaaahhhhh, help, what should we do – doesn't that sound crazy to you? Who'd believe a famous writer or painter if he or she told someone else one of his closest friends is a living and breathing metaphor, made from the same blood and bones as other humans are?'

'Ohh,' I said, 'that's poetic!'

'I'm poetic as fuck,' Papa Lovi beamed with geniality.

'I did think it was a bit weird to have parents that can't die as my… uh… parents,' Alejo admitted.

'Well there you have it.' Papa Lovi leaned backwards. 'Look, right now, there's that hype around Dr. Tosca's book. But as soon as most personifications have found back their kids, or the other way around, I think it will all… deflate or something. I now realize that Tosca never wanted to score lots and lots of money with her project – she wanted to lead the children she and the other doctors had ripped away from us back to their rightful parents.'

Papa Toni nodded. 'And if it wasn't thanks to her and Dr. Delgado's hard work, we maybe would never have seen our kids back again and the PPSS would still be messing around in our lives. Really, I… it's incredible what those two have done for us.'

We all kept silence for a couple of seconds, as if we all wanted to pay our respects to our dads' former doctor – and, of course, our granddad.

Because even if Grandpa Delgado never was our real grandfather, the three of us still saw him as one, just as the three of us probably also still saw Papa Ángel and Papa Stefano as our dads. And Papa Lovi and Papa Toni as well.

…

Did that mean we had four fathers now?

Wooooooow…

'Okay, I think everybody's finished with the soup.' Papa Lovi got up and nudged Papa Toni. 'Let's clean up the table and bring the next round – I can't wait to hear the other life stories!'

I sighed in relief, knowing that my part had been told (sort of, at least a big portion of it).

But when I looked over at Allie and Lulu, I could tell that my part had only been the beginning.

0\o0/

Paella was nice, I couldn't say I really loved it or anything, but I didn't dislike it either. It was okay, I guess. Especially when I noticed this was paella with lots of seafood in it – I just loved seafood, but not as much as I loved meat, of course.

So I was pretty much trying to focus on my food, hoping that Papa Lovi and Papa Toni would think 'aww, look at Allie, he's enjoying his yellow rice with all kinds of aggressive spices that makes you want to dash to the toilet, let's gang up on Luisa, first' – but alas, my hope was in vain when I felt, yes, indeed, felt, their eyes looking at me curiously.

I cringed a bit, but then I gave in, sighed and looked up slowly – and my eyes were instantly met with a similar pair and a very green pair.

'Uhm,' I started, 'please don't gawk at me so intensely – I can't swallow like that.'

That was the biggest 'that's what she said' ever, I realized, and I kind of hoped Luisa or Matteo would point it out as well – but my boring siblings simply stared at me, Luisa's gaze telling me that yes, she heard it, and no, it wasn't funny, and I was a fucking dork.

She was kind of amazing for being able to nag at me without even using her voice.

Matteo gaze by the way just told me that he was probably thinking about nothing at all – he was pretty good at staring into space, after all.

'What about you, Allie?' Papa Toni suddenly asked me, making me look back at my fathers rather nervously. 'Papa Lovi and I saw you working in the streets of Barcelona that one day – that was you, wasn't it? – and I wonder… well, I wonder how you came up with the great idea to go work as a butcher!~'

I finally successfully gulped down the food in my mouth and smiled faintly back at him. 'Um, I'm… technically, I'm not a butcher yet. I'm in training, and Paco – I mean, an older and more experienced butcher - is my mentor. He taught me everything about how to make and prepare decent food from slaughtered animals.'

Papa Lovi got a bit white around his nose. 'Talking about slaughtered animals – do you know how to do that as well?'

'Oh yes, certainly,' I nodded. 'But don't worry, I see it as my duty to make sure the animals I have to kill feel as less pain as possible. That only makes the meat taste better, after all.'

'What kinds of animals have you slaughtered so far?' Papa Toni, looking honestly interested, wanted to know.

'All kinds of animals!' I grinned excitedly. 'Pigs, cows, chicken, rabbits, hares, a few horses and even a couple of deer.'

'Oh god,' Papa Lovi muttered, shivering.

But Papa Toni was impressed. 'Sounds like you know all about meat and the like, Allie! That's just great!~ You want to start your own butcher shop one day?'

'Yeah!' I said, happy to finally be able to talk about my job and future plans with someone who actually thought the work I did was good. 'Paco even said that I can take over his shop one day, he thinks I'm really cut out for this job. Just as long as I keep my claws off his son, of course.'

Papa Lovi cocked his head. 'Keep your claws off his… oh. Ohhhh.'

'You're gay, Allie?' Papa Toni – kind of bluntly – asked me.

'Naaah, I don't think so,' I said, shaking my head. 'back when I was still a model and occasionally used drugs and such, I had many girlfriends as well, you know? I suppose I don't only want to enjoy the male flesh. The female flesh is pretty enjoyable as well! In fact, I think you and Papa Lovi have missed a lot of very interesting sexual escapades by being gay.'

I didn't care how hard and hysterical Luisa was kicking me under the table – I was going to tell my dads what I wanted to tell them and that's that. It's my life story.

Even if they both stared at me like I had just confessed to them I was selling my body on the streets for money.

'You did drugs?' Papa Lovi stammered, looking horrified.

'Not anymore.' I grinned apologetically. 'And... and I wasn't really proud of that part of my life. Um. Sorry for… for having done that.'

'I-it's okay. It's all in the past, I guess, getting agitated about it now won't change anything, but… well.' Papa Lovi swallowed and scratched his head. 'Wow. I, um… You… you turned out to be quite the… experimenter. I wonder whose side you got that from.'

Papa Toni laughed awkwardly. 'My side, naturally. You might not know this, Allie, but… um, I, too, did things I wasn't very proud of, and I also had my share of… uh… all kinds of people.'

'So you don't exclusively feel attracted to men, either?' I concluded.

He shook his head. 'I don't want to disappoint you – crazily enough – but… I prefer men. I always have preferred them. So… yeah…'

I knew enough and now looked at Papa Lovi, who didn't seem to like this subject at all and was a bit startled when I asked him what he exactly was, and if he, like Papa Toni, had had lots and lots of bedpartners as well.

'I bet you have,' I mused, 'you're Italian, after all! Those people are huge flirts!'

'Um,' Papa Lovi said, getting red from his nose to his ears.

'I can't believe you want to talk about how many people our dads did,' then Luisa snidely remarked. 'You're such a disgusting creep, Alejo. God.'

'Yeah – I actually don't want to know about that, either,' Matteo agreed.

I huffed. 'Well I'm not a saint dweeb like you, or a picky chick like Luisa – I never planned to only have sex with the one I wanted to grow old with. Right, Papa Lovi? Rub it in their faces! You tell them about all the men and women you casually shared the bed with!'

'Man,' Papa Lovi corrected me.

'Only men? Fine by me! Tell them—'

'No, no. Not "men". Man, Alejo.' Papa Lovi averted his eyes and rubbed his arm, blushing his face off. Meanwhile, Papa Toni grinned so very proudly and brightly his teeth almost blinded me.

'Ah,' I said when it clicked. 'So you're… you only… ah.'

I must have sounded pretty disappointed. I mean, so I was different after all. If even Papa Lovi had only had Papa Toni as his bedpartner, pretty much like Luisa and Matteo, who also had slept with just one (well in Matteo's case two) people, it must mean that I'm a real sexmaniac.

But then, Papa Lovi suddenly looked up, as if he had heard my thoughts, and gave me a stern, serious look.

'Alejo – it's okay to have many bedpartners. I mean, it's your life and you have the right to enjoy it in whatever way you want – although I do kind of want to strangle all the perverted men who have touched you, dammit. You're not weird or anything, you're just a healthy young man, and healthy young men want sex. Nothing wrong with that.'

'Y-yes?' I said, feeling a bit better.,

'Absolutely. And even though I… don't have an impressive list of people I shared the bed with, you better believe I enjoy… uh… life, just as much as you do. But I don't know.' Papa Lovi shrugged. 'I guess I wanted to be in love, first, and I guess both Matteo and Luisa share that opinion. But we're all different, kid. What you think is normal and what others think is normal – it's all a matter of personal tastes and desires.'

'Okay.' I smiled at him. 'I believe you.'

'You better.' He snorted. 'You oversexed little brat. Goddammit. Screw around as much as you want, but I do hope you will meet someone one day that makes you realize that that person is everything you've always looked for. And you better make sure it's a girl, because if it's a male, we'll break his kneecaps.'

I laughed and looked at Papa Toni, but he looked deadly serious.

'Men are vile creatures,' he cryptically told me, 'there are three exceptions, but pretty much all other men I know are the biggest perverts ever.'

'Hey, don't be such hypocrite sexists – girls can be huge perverts as well,' I told them, with Aimee in the back of my head. 'Heck, girls can even be bigger perverts, really!'

'Of course they can – we know The Queen of Pervertedness very well, after all,' Papa Lovi said, giving Papa Toni a knowing glance.

'But we know better what men can do to others than what women can do to others, since we're men ourselves,' Papa Toni explained. 'I guess that kind of colored our opinion on men and women. Sorry for that.'

'Ohh,' Matteo suddenly said, making everybody else look at him in confusion, 'I get it now, I get it: Alejo, me and Papa Lovi are the only men Papa Toni doesn't see as perverted men! That's so nice!~'

'Damn you're slow,' Luisa groaned. 'Just eat your paella already, before it gets cold. And that goes for all of you! Seriously, Papa Lovi – you and Papa Toni have slaved in the kitchen all day long, and you're still perfectly fine with letting everything cool off like that? Tssssk.'

'Don't sass me like that, dammit, you grumpy little nag.' Papa Lovi frowned, but smiled nevertheless. I think he really liked discussions, no matter how pointless they were. As long as they were with people he actually liked.

'She's got a point though – let's eat our food, before it gets too cold. Food's better when it's warm and spicy, after all!~' Papa Toni said.

So we all ate, and even though there still was plenty of conversation going on when people weren't eating, it didn't get very deep anymore, if you know what I mean, and for that, I was thankful. I mean, if Papa Lovi and Papa Toni had kept asking about me and true love and stuff, I'd have probably started talking about Aimee, and I don't think my legs could handle any more kicks.

It was a nice and pleasant atmosphere, really, and all was fine, and it seemed that Luisa could be able to escape the 'tell us about your life story but don't tell them too much yet' –hell…

…but of course, we still had to eat the desserts.

o\00/

Ohhhhhhhh my god.

ICE CREAM.

Papa Lovi and Papa Toni had prepared tons and tons of ICE CREAM for my dorky brothers and me.

And not just some random chocolate and vanilla ice cream you could score on every dingy street corner, ohhhh no.

MANMADE ICE CREAM.

ITALIAN MANMADE ICE CREAM.

OH GOD, this was going to end me, the ice cream was going to fucking end me, end I couldn't give a single fuck about it, I just wanted to eat it all up, eat it all riggggggght up. If the baby needed it, I fucking needed it, and like hell I was going to deny my and Seb's own personal Kindersurprise all the ice cream and sugar that little thingy needed.

My way of eating, however, was kind of… um, how should I call it… unorthodox. I had never been very good at eating shit without accidentally smearing everything I was eating all over my face, and when I ate something I really liked – well, even Mia, who was the quirky daughter of the biggest dope I knew, ate like a fucking countess in comparison with me.

So it wasn't before long Papa Lovi and Papa Toni started looking at me really weirdly, and then, right at that moment, I realized that my time had come. Matteo and Alejo had both survived their turns (although their ankles had to be heavily violated in order to keep them from telling our fathers everything), and now, it was up to the last round – me.

While I probably hid the biggest secret of all from them, right in my own damn body.

And no, I also wasn't keen on telling them who had put that baby inside of me in the first place, because although I had hoped they would be more reasonable than Ángel and Stefano, I now realized that dads, biological or not, simply don't like boyfriends. Ever. But especially not if they had knocked up their daughter as well.

So if I wanted my child to grow up with a father, I needed to keep quiet about many things for now… and I needed to prepare myself for the day I wouldn't be able to hide my pregnancy from them anymore.

'Did you always have such a big appetite, Lulu?' Papa Toni suddenly asked me, leaning on his elbow as he watched me shoving another load of chocolate ice cream right in.

I almost choked on it and had the decency to swallow what I had in my mouth, first, before answering him.

'U-um, no, I don't think so, but… t-this is ice cream, you know? I love ice cream! It's all… cold and sugary and shit. I really, really like that. I can't eat enough of it. E-even though I know I should watch I don't eat too much – I'm already pretty chubby.'

Papa Lovi frowned. 'The fuck did you just say? You're not chubby at all, dammit! You're perfectly fine!'

I blushed and muttered a soft 'thank you', before taking another spoonful of ice cream. He had been the first person – well, apart from Seb – that had told me I was perfectly fine the way I was. It gave me a warm and comfortable feeling from inside. Or maybe that was heartburn – I don't know.

'So, Luisa!' Papa Toni drummed his hands on the table playfully, almost launching diverse spoons, knives and forks through the air, 'how about you, sweetie? Tell us how your life has been!~'

…

Oh god, had it already started? Shit.

'U-um,' I stammered as I slowly put down my spoon, 'm-my life?'

'Yes, your life!' Papa Toni sent me a melancholic smile. 'What did we miss out on life developments concerning our only daughter, hm? Please tell us.'

I smiled back panicky. The thing is, I didn't have all that much… positive things to tell, really. Matteo could tell about his business and his late fiancée and Alejo had been able to talk about his ambitions and slightly disturbing past, but…

…what on Earth was I going to tell them that was remotely positive, without giving away I was in a happy relationship, with a guy that meant everything to me, oh yes, and also, I was pretty pregnant of him, too?

Oh god… ugh…

I couldn't tell them nothing, though, so, with… with a lot of reluctance, I told my fathers about… the unfinished studies I had attempted to follow, the problems I had with showing and giving affection to others, the ugly differences about working people and me, and the unsettling fact I still didn't really know what I wanted to become – because it was true, I was a grown-up, and I didn't know what I wanted to be when I was… older, I guess.

I had more or less expected my fathers to become more disappointed in me with each and every single word that had managed to break itself free from my mouth – but much to my amazement, they weren't.

'Don't worry, princess, you'll find out what you want to be in time!' Papa Toni smiled at me and gave my hand a light squeeze. 'You're still young, Luisa, so don't worry. Take your time. You don't have to be what others want you to be – you only have to be what you want to be. And that's hard enough already.'

It…

…

N-nobody had ever told me that…

'Y-you're not… you know…' I gulped and tried to ignore the burning feeling behind my eyes, '…I-I haven't accomplished as much as Matteo or Alejo, and… and I have no idea where I'm even going. I-I know you… you always thought I was the smartest of the three of us, s-so… aren't you… you know…'

'Luisa – didn't you hear him? Because Papa Toni can repeat what he just told you, no problem.' Papa Lovi grinned reassuringly at me. 'It's hard. Okay? We know that. We live in these times as well, baby, and we can see it's not easy to be a twenty-something right now. People have to give you a chance to grow in life and work, first, and as long as they don't give you that – well, why would that mean that the person that's waiting for an opportunity is to blame? Fuck that. They are to blame. Society is to blame – not you, Luisa.'

I hiccupped, but couldn't produce words.

'And we still think you're the smartest, really,' Papa Toni informed me.

'Hey!' Alejo piped up, pouting.

'I'm sorry, Allie, but you lost almost all of your hand's fingers during a very stupid phase of your life, and Matteo's… well, Matteo's Matteo.'

'Look, check this out,' Matteo said, who had been successfully sticking all kinds of utensils in his leftover ice cream. He now was puffing his chest because his strange construction didn't fall over and man, was he proud of that accomplishment!

'Good point,' Alejo admitted defeat, looking away from Matteo again. 'A very good point, indeed.'

Meanwhile, Papa Lovi continued the conversation with me.

'So you still have problems with showing people you care about them, huh? Yeah. You've always had trouble with connecting to people that weren't familiar to you, even when you were just a little girl.'

'It's strange, right?' I said, folding my hands together.

'It's annoying,' Papa Lovi said, snorting. 'But it's not strange. You… take a lot after me, after all. I have had the same issues. Hell, I still have them.'

'You?' I tilted my head to the side. 'Really?'

Papa Lovi looked like he just got struck by lightning. He stared at me, his mouth hanging open a bit, and his face flushed – not too much, but it did got a bit darker in color.

'Y-you don't think I have problems with showing people affection?'

'No?' I frowned, confused about why he got all sentimental and surprised all of a sudden. 'You always were there for me, the twins and Papa Toni. You never made us feel like… like you hadn't seen us or something like that. You noticed us. You played with us. And you always smiled.'

'Yeah,' Alejo added, 'you clearly loved us, really. I felt safe with you. We felt safe with you.'

Matteo smiled. 'And we love you, you know? Both Papa Toni and you – we really love you a lot!~'

And then Papa Lovi suddenly teared up again, while smiling broadly, and chuckled awkwardly as he rubbed his eyes. But the tears kept coming, just like the sobs, and Papa Toni silently looked on, simply wrapping an arm around him and nothing more.

I hadn't expect such a heavy response – I hadn't realized that for Papa Lovi, hearing these words were as important for him as they would be for me.

But it's strange. You know? I mean, yeah, I admit that in Tosca's book, I had read about him, and the description of his personality wasn't always that positive, but as soon as I had remembered who he really was – the person I had seen and loved as a small girl – I instantly abandoned that flat summary about who he was.

Papa Lovi had been a kind, welcoming and supporting father in my memories, and not a single book could tell me he wasn't. Hell, even he himself couldn't tell me. What a loser. He-he should think more positively about himself, dammit…

…

…b-but didn't that mean that… if I looked like him a lot… that I should do that, too…?

/0o0\

Well, I guess we could all safely say that the dinner had been a great success!~

It was great to have been able to talk about the kids' background stories, and to hear about how much they appreciated me and Lovino. My poor, tough little Lovi couldn't even control himself anymore when Lulu told him he was one of the most affectionate people she knew. That must have been great for him to hear – I was so very happy for him.

But anyway.

After we had finished desserts, the kids stayed around for a whole lot longer. We cleaned up all the mess we had made, together, and when that was done, we sat in the living room and – well – did pretty much the same kind of things we had done with them when they were still kids.

Alejo and Luisa wanted to play Mario Kart – not version 199, or whatever version was out now – but the version they had known and loved twenty years ago. And while Lovino was yelling and cursing and playing with those two brats, Matteo and I sat talked about flowers and plants. And other things.

'So you still dress up as a princess,' I said, after Matteo had suddenly blurted something out. 'That's… well, if that's what you enjoy to do…'

Matteo looked up, his face bright red, reminding me of Lovi's face whenever he was embarrassed about something.

'N-no, dad, it's not because I really enjoy doing that (although I admit I don't hate it, either), it's because I have a… I… um… but I can't tell you yet.'

I let out a puzzled chuckle. 'What?'

Matteo sneakily glanced to his siblings and Italian father, all three of them now yelling the television and each other, before turning his face back to me again. He looked very tense, as if he was going to do something illegal, and shove his glasses further up his nose.

'Papa Toni,' he hissed, 'we… we didn't tell you everything about us yet.'

'What do you mean?'

'All three of us have secrets we haven't told you yet.'

'…Teo, I'm sure the three of you all have some… dark secrets you rather not talk about, and that's just fine,' I carefully told him – because I certainly didn't want to know too private stuff about them. I mean, I wasn't going to tell them about how much I wanted to make love to Lovino later this night, either.

But Matteo shook his head. 'No no, there's nothing dark about our secrets – but they could be… you know, too much to handle for you and Papa Lovi right now. Too much emotions and stuff. So… so before we came here, Lulu made us promise to keep quiet about some stuff.'

'Oh.' I didn't really know what to say to that, but I guess my disappointment must have been obvious, since Matteo instantly apologized.

'I-I'm sorry.' He pursed his lips and sighed. 'I-I… there's someone… and I have… but… but I promised Luisa, you know? I promised her! I can't go breaking a promise. S-so…'

'Are those secrets really that… important for me and Papa Lovi to know?' I asked, getting curious.

He nodded. 'Oh yes, certainly! Certainly. B-but don't tell them. They'll get grumpy with me and Lulu's really scary when she gets angry.'

'But I want to know those secrets now!' I made a face. 'Can't you tell me a little bit?'

'No, but…' Matteo's eyes lit up for a second, almost like in a cartoon, '…but I can give you our addresses…?'

'But why should I get your addresse…ohhhh.'

'Know what I mean?' Matteo said, relieved, and hurriedly scribbled something down. 'Then… you and Papa Lovi come visit us! Suddenly. Out of the blue. This week. All three of us.'

I laughed nervously. 'I-is that really all we have to do to reveal your secrets? Just… swing around unexpectedly?'

'Yes,' Matteo said. 'That's all.'

'You… kind of frighten me, Teo.'

'Well, our secrets aren't really shocking or something, if that reassures you a bit… we just… didn't tell you about them.'

'NO!' Lovino suddenly screamed on the background, making me and Matteo look up, 'DON'T YOU DARE, YOU DAMN BRAT – DON'T YOU SEND THAT BLUE TERROR THING MY WA – ALEJO, GODDAMMIT!'

'Victory is mine!' Alejo cheered – and got a mouthful of pillow seconds later, since Lovino's a great loser, meaning that in the end, Luisa owned them all.

'Dammit, winning like this is no fun at all – you two don't even try,' she smirked.

'So, you promise me?' Teo's voice suddenly brought me back to my dialogue with my youngest son.

'Promise you what?' I asked.

Matteo tapped his finger on the paper with the addresses. 'You promise to tell Papa Lovi about this later… and you promise to come visit us really soon?'

I looked at him worriedly, then I glanced over at Lovino and the other kids, now apparently having a pillow fight like the strange adults all three of them were. Both Luisa and Alejo looked pretty carefree now, but I had to admit I did notice they, and Matteo, had behaved a bit differently and awkwardly at the table, when they told us about their past. They must have had their reasons why they didn't tell us all about themselves, no doubt, but…

I really wanted to know. Especially if Matteo practically begged me to hurry up and discover their secrets already.

'Alright,' I told Matteo, giving him a plotting grin, 'your dad and I will come visit the three of you this week. I promise.'