This story is going to have around thirty chapter.

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Chapter Twenty-Seven.

She missed Maggie.

She had two journals – one to keep track of her eating and the other where she wrote about her days – and every night, as she laid in the bed and wrote in each journal, she read back over her words and realized that she hadn't written Maggie's name in weeks. She went to the farm nearly every other day to see daddy and she and Maggie would see one another but they really didn't speak to one another. Maggie was angry at her for living with Daryl and Beth didn't really know what to say to her anymore because anything she said just was never good enough.

But she really missed Maggie. She couldn't help it. She had always looked to her older sister as her best friend and she didn't know anything happening in Maggie's life anymore. Daddy had mentioned that she had been dating someone for a few weeks now – and for Maggie, a few weeks was already a record – but Beth didn't ask about it because she didn't even know how to talk to Maggie anymore. Would it ever be as it once was? Probably not. Because even if Maggie was to ever accept the fact that Beth was getting better, she would probably forever treat her like glass. And Beth just couldn't breathe around that.

With Daryl out with his brother and Rick, she had the trailer to herself for the night. She changed into her pajamas – which somewhere along the way had become a pair of underwear and one of Daryl's flannel shirts. She had taken one down from the closet one particularly chilly night and had slid it on and when Daryl had seen her in it, he hadn't said anything. He had just swallowed and she could see the tips of his ears turning red. That was one thing with Daryl that she loved. He didn't only make her feel beautiful but he made her feel desirable, too.

She fixed herself a can of chicken noodle soup and once she ate and washed all of her dishes, setting them in the rack on the counter to dry, she then went to her keyboard in the living room. Space in the trailer was tight but they had done some arranging and the keyboard now rested against the wall of the front of the trailer and Daryl had found her a stool at a used furniture store. She sat on that stool now and turning the switch on, she looked at the sheets in front of her.

She was trying to write her own songs again. She hadn't done that in so long, not being in the right mindset at all to do that, but she was beginning to feel that familiar flow of energy humming through her brain to the tips of her fingers. She definitely felt a bit rusty doing this again after going such a long time without but she was just happy to even have the inclination to try again.

She hummed to herself as she played a few bars and then stopped to write those notes down with her pencil before play them again, adding a few more. Father Gabriel had asked her that Sunday after service if she was willing to join the church choir again and Beth had hesitated before telling him that she would think about. She had always loved to sing and perform and she had loved being in the choir but she didn't know if she was ready to put herself back up there again. She wouldn't be alone but she didn't know if she would be comfortable standing in front of the congregation, having them all looking at her. They looked enough when she was just sitting in a pew with her daddy and brother.

Around eight-thirty, she turned the keyboard off and made sure the front door was locked and left a lamp on for Daryl before heading into the bedroom. She grabbed her journals and propped the pillows up, slipping between the cool sheets and leaning back, resting her journals on her thighs. She first wrote down what she had for dinner. One can of chicken noodle soup and one glass of water. It wouldn't look like a lot to another person but to her, it was the perfect amount. Her stomach was still small and she was feeding it the right amount to fill it up.

She set that journal aside and then opened her other one, beginning to write about her day. About work being a usual day except Dale had bought pizza for everyone for lunch and they had all sat around the office, eating and Axel telling stories and getting Zach to laugh so hard, soda flew from his nose. Meyer had come back, too, meowing at the back door and she watched as Daryl gave him a piece of pizza crust. After work, she went to the farm for a little bit to visit her family and to see the lamb. She still hadn't named him but she had told daddy that she and Daryl would be taking him home once he was old enough and Hershel had beamed at that.

Hershel liked Daryl. He had said it but even if he hadn't, it would be pretty obvious. He thought Daryl Dixon was a good man and he was. He was the best man and she tried to remember things before him. She was happy to be alive, to be with her family and to have a good job working for a nice man but she didn't feel that happiness that she thought people should feel with their lives. She didn't know if she would ever feel that. She had just kind of been going along from day to day, trying to get herself better, trying to make everyone around her happy and show them that they had no reasons to worry about her.

She had thought that this was how it would be for the rest of her life. She was resigned to that, thinking that maybe she deserved it. But then she met Daryl. She had already met Daryl but then they began talking and it was as if she was finally meeting him. And he was wonderful. She knew not everyone saw it because he was so quiet and preferred to stick to himself but he was kind and funnier than one would expect and willing to do anything for someone he cared about.

She just thought about all of the things he had done for her whether he realized he was doing them or not and it was no mystery as to why she had fallen in love with him. Even thinking about him now as she wrote, a small smile bloomed across her face and she felt like giggling like some silly girl with her first crush.

And then, just like that, she was missing Maggie again because she didn't have her older sister anymore to talk about and giggle with and confide in as they talked about things like this.

She heard the familiar roar of a nearing motorcycle and her eyes went to the clock beside the bed. It was just a few minutes past nine. She hadn't been expecting him back for at least a couple of more hours and she wondered if the strip club had been a bust that evening. He had been surprised but she hadn't really minded when he told her where he was going. Did she like the idea of strip clubs? No. She didn't like the idea of women having to take their clothes off for money for a bunch of hooting and hollering men though she did hear that strippers made great money. But she knew that she was in a relationship with a man who didn't hoot and holler and he was only going in support of his best friend – as odd as that support might seem.

The motorcycle engine cut off and then moments later, she heard his steps on the porch and the front door was being unlocked. Beth didn't know what it was but suddenly, she felt a shiver tingle throughout her body in anticipation of seeing him.

She pushed back the covers and slipped her journals into the top drawer of the nightstand before standing up from the bed. She was stepping out of the bedroom just as Daryl was stepping in and she laughed a little as their chests collided.

She tilted her head up to look at him. "Hi," she smiled, feeling breathless.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards into his usual smile. "Hey," he greeted back and she didn't think about it before pushing herself up on her toes and pressing her lips to his. She felt him lift his hands and then felt them on the sides of her head as he kissed her back, pressing just a little harder.

She wanted to ask what he was doing back so soon but it wasn't as if she cared. She was just happy he was back because suddenly, the shivers were becoming more intense and she stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

This was happening more and more. It seemed like every time they kissed now, the possibility of it leading to so much more was always looming, just waiting for them to take that final step together and Beth was beginning to wonder why they didn't.

"Daryl," she heard herself whimper his name then and he began to gently push her backwards towards the bed, his mouth never leaving hers.

As soon as she hit the bed against her knees, she pulled him with her and she laid down, feeling the weight of him on top of her. She had never felt as warm as she did when Daryl was over her. Their mouths moved together, lips parting, opening, slanting against one another, and then she moaned softly as his tongue swirled around hers. She lifted her hands to his hair, tunneling through the strands, gripping, holding it back from his face and she felt his fingers at the buttons of the shirt, undoing each one. He then parted the shirt open and she arched her back slightly, whimpering again, as Daryl swept his hands up her bare chest, fingers finding her nipples, them instantly hardening from his touch.

She was beginning to feel that ache that she was feeling all of the time now when they kissed like this and tonight, she was ready for that ache to be seen to.

"Daryl," she said his name in such a way that he lifted his head from hers and looked down at her, both of them breathing heavily.

Her heart was drumming so quickly in her chest and she couldn't believe that this was happening but she wanted this to happen more than anything. She looked up at him and without a word, her hands slipped down to the button on his jeans.

"Beth…" he began to say but whatever the next words were, they seemed to die in his throat as her fingers popped open the button and then she slowly lowered the zipper. She slid her thigh against his hip and her eyes never left his. "We don't have to do anythin'," he said. "I'm not gonna pressure-"

"You're not," Beth was quick to interrupt. "I love you. I want you. Didn't you think that this would happen?"

Daryl just stared at her, his eyes dark, and she wondered what he was thinking. She didn't doubt or wonder if he wanted her. She knew he did. She saw the way he looked at her and she could feel the bulge in his jeans. She knew he wanted her and she was not going to let him stop this from happening tonight. She was ready. She wanted this. She wanted him. She couldn't imagine having anyone else as her first.

Daryl stood up then and she watched as he went to the dresser, opening the top drawer. She saw him hesitate for only a moment before he pulled something out and when he turned towards the bed again, she saw that he was holding a condom. She didn't anything. She just smiled and sat up, pulling the shirt off and dropping it onto the floor. She laid down again and tried to get her heart beating normal. He had seen her in various stages of undress. He had seen her body and there were no surprises. There was no reason to be nervous. This was Daryl. She loved him and she knew that he cared for her and she wanted him to see her. It was important that he saw all of her.

He still didn't say anything as he took of his boots that she hadn't realized he was still wearing followed by his socks and then he pushed his jeans down past his hips. She saw the bulge in his boxers and she couldn't help but smile, feeling shy but feeling so excited, and her hands went to the waistband of her underwear.

"Wait," he grunted, stopping her, and she did immediately.

He came back onto the bed, crawling over her, and she sank boneless into the mattress as he covered her mouth with his again. She felt his hands at her underwear and she lifted her hips so he could pull the pair down her thighs. She shivered again, realizing that she was completely naked, lying beneath Daryl but it wasn't a cold shiver. It was a shiver of excitement and her fingers ran through his hair again and then over his shoulders and down his back as they began kissing one another a little harder. He didn't take off his tee-shirt and she didn't ask him, too. He wasn't ready to show her without a shirt on yet and that was okay. He would show her one day, she knew.

She gasped and whimpered his name into his mouth as she felt his fingers rubbing her between her thighs and then two fingers were plunging inside of her. He had done this for her enough times for her to be used to it now but she still squirmed and moaned and clenched around him. It was his turn to moan when she did that. The heel of his hand made contact with her clit again and again and his fingers moved a bit faster and she pulled her mouth from his, letting out some sort of whine as she felt sweat break across her skin. She began trembling and then she came with a sharp cry of his name and her entire body tensed before every nerve exploded.

She felt him moving but she was panting, still coming down, and when she opened her eyes, he was over her, looking into her eyes.

"Wanna keep going?" He asked her in a quiet tone and she didn't even hesitate in giving him a smile and nod of her head.

She felt him then. He must have taken his boxers off and rolled the condom on when she was still recovering and he was nudging against her folds now. She didn't want to see it. Instead, she stared into his eyes and instinctively spread her thighs a little wider. She was scared and nervous – she wasn't going to deny that – but she was ready for this to happen. She had never felt as ready as she did right now. With him.

Daryl stared into her eyes as one of his hands reached down between their bodies and he never looked away from her as he began pressing himself forward. Beth kept herself staring up into his eyes, her hands clutching his biceps, and she reminded herself to keep breathing. She winced. She couldn't help it. This was bigger than his fingers. He was thick and she felt herself stretching around the foreign intrusion.

He stopped himself after a few eternal minutes and she noticed he was shaking.

"Just a lil' bit more," he whispered to her then, his breathing sharp.

She nodded and did her best to smile though there was a lot of pain down there and her nails dug into his skin when he suddenly snapped his hips forward. She cried out when she felt a searing pain and tears flooded her eyes before she could stop them. Daryl froze completely on top of her and she felt her heart pounding in her ears. Daryl Dixon was actually inside of her. She was no longer a virgin – just like that. She was lying in bed and having sex with Daryl Dixon. Was the pain ever going to stop?

She took a series of deep breaths and tried to get herself under control.

"'m sorry," Daryl said but she quickly shook her head, looking up at him, finally able to give him a small smile.

"I'm fine," she said.

"You're a shitty liar," he said and she actually laughed breathlessly at that.

"I mean it. I'm fine. I… it was something I had to go through," she said and his eyes were locked with hers. He hadn't looked away from her once. "I'm glad it was you," she then whispered to him with a soft smile.

Daryl looked at her for one more moment before sinking his weight down on top of her, his mouth falling onto hers and she readily welcomed his kiss. Her fingers went back to his hair and she began to feel him move. It still hurt but not as before. Just a dull ache. It seemed as if her body was getting used to it and as she laid there beneath him, kissing him, feeling his length move back and forth inside of her, she knew that it was only a matter of time before this felt good for her, too. For right now, it felt strange, knowing he was inside of her, feeling a pressure that made her feel short of breath in her lungs.

She wasn't sure how long he moved and she knew she wasn't going to come again but she kissed him and just as he neared the end, she began to feel the faintest tingles again between her thighs. He came with a groan, his face pressing to the side of her neck, and he shook on top of her before going still, his body heavy on hers.

His tee-shirt was damp with sweat and her body ached but oddly enough, she realized that it was aching in some sort of way that didn't bring her pain. She turned her head and her lips brushed across the shell of his ear.

"I love you, Daryl Dixon," she whispered to him.

She closed her eyes and smiled faintly and dipped her head down, nuzzling her nose gently against his cheekbone.

"I love you, too," he murmured into her skin.

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