Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1: I'd like you to know that I had been five minutes earlier yesterday, I had been able to update the fic JUST in time before, you know, that network thing happened.
But alas. XDDDDDDDDD Oh well, let's not dwell on that too much! Here's the new chapter, people!

A/n2: Still looking for a job, still getting rejected. It's getting pretty frustrating.
Also, what the hell's up with jobs that seem nice on the outside, but when they call you to give you the details (and the job, since nobody wants them), they always seem unfair and unreasonable? I had to turn down a job because they asked me to not only pay for all the travel costs, but also for pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE. And no stability or promises you can work every week, either.
Meanwhile, my Harvest Moon character is rich as fuck, even after getting a house upgrade that cost her more than a million dollars/euros/fictional money.
This world's strange as hell.

A/n3: *pushes negativity to the side* Have yet another nice little funfact about me!
I don't like vegetables. At ALL. There are very few veggies that I am willing to eat, and even less that I honestly enjoy eating. In fact, there's just one kind of vegetable that I like, and that's sauerkraut.
SAUERKRAUT
I EFFING LOVE SAUERKRAUT
Especially when it's put together with mashed potatoes and combined with (WAIT FOR IT) a nice, big sausage.
HOW GERMAN COULD I BE
OH GOD
I REGRET NOTHINGGGGGGG

A/n4: Maybe I should also randomly say a random funfact about Luisa, Matteo and Alejo, while I'm at it. I mean, why not? ^^
So here goes!~
Luisa claims to love every good arthouse movie, but she actually finds most of them creepy as fuck. Luisa's secretly a sucker for really bad comedy movies, instead. She loves every single movie with stupid puns in it and she almost wets herself whenever she watches 'Airplane!'. But it's a secret that nobody knows, not even Seb, because she's very ashamed of it.
Matteo only watches cartoons and animated films. He uses Mia as an excuse, but he actually only watches those kind of movies because he thinks 'grown-up' movies are really confusing. Also, he learns more from animated movies.
Finally, Alejo loves every good horror movie and/or psychological thriller. Action movies are okay, too, but he only watches those when he's really bored.
Also, when he thinks nobody's watching, he loves romantic comedies like 'Bridget Jones' Diary' or 'Love Actually', but, just like Luisa, he'll never tell you.

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 87:

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
Quentin Crisp
(English writer and raconteur)

Now, don't get me wrong.

It was nice to see that Matteo had a girl in his life that he honestly seemed to love, adore, worship and all that corny shit.

Really. I liked that. I liked to see Matteo being all in love and crazy about one single person that seemed to make his life complete. Love is an important thing for everybody that lives, after all. It makes your life feel better, especially when the one you love loves you just as much back, and that's just beautiful.

And yet.

WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THAT DAMN RAQUEL-CHICK, MATTEO?

WHY. WHY.

I mean, he could get every single girl in the world if he wanted to. I knew for sure he was popular with the girls, just like his brother, since he's very handsome and just like his Spanish dad – look-wise, at least. That never hurts when you're looking for a partner.

And yet, what girl did he pick out to be his girlfriend?

Raquel Sanchez, a sloppily dressed, former spy's kid.

…

I never really liked her. She always stole our fucking newspaper and then she laughed at me whenever I chased her around the garden, yelling how much I sucked and how awesome she was for being faster than me. And then her parents would be like 'hahahahahaha oh look, Mr. Vargas is playing tag with Raquel, isn't that just lovely' and IT WASN'T LOVELY, IT WAS AWFUL, I HADN'T BEEN ABLE TO READ MY NEWSPAPER FOR YEARS (she finally stopped nicking them when she was eleven of twelve or something).

I had to admit that this Raquel seemed to be a totally different person from the girl she used to be – she looked like she had gone through a lot of terrible things – but still.

I just didn't like her.

Not when she was nicking my newspapers, and not now she was sitting at my son's table across of me and Antonio's seats either, uncomfortably staring at her cup of hot chocolate milk while Matteo (somehow) was blissfully unaware of the negative atmosphere that had filled his cutesy-decorated kitchen.

'You're dating Matteo!' I heard Antonio say to her, while I kept glaring at Raquel. 'That's a surprise – I never knew you two had a relationship!~ You should have told me when I asked you to assist him with the flower arrangements!'

Raquel blushed vividly and opened her mouth, but Matteo was quicker.

'Oh, but we didn't have a relationship yet back then! We started dating shortly after I met her – thanks to you, Papa Toni!~'

OH, SO IT WAS ANTONIO.

OF COURSE IT WAS ANTONIO.

'You see,' said asshole started to explain to me – since he apparently took my aggressive glaring at him for a questioning glance, 'Raquel used to spy on us, Lovi, just like her mom did!~'

'Really, now.' I looked from Antonio to Raquel, who seemed to be attempting to hide behind her cup, and squeezed my eyes. 'Can't say that news surprises me much. Mrs. Sanchez' probably very proud of you.'

Matteo and Antonio both gave me shocked looks. It was almost funny to witness that, really.

'Dad!'

'Lovino!'

'It's the truth and you fucking know it.' I snorted, not-looking away from Raquel while folding my arms demonstratively. 'You know, Raquel, I liked your parents. They were a bit eccentric, yes, and your dad annoyed the crap out of me with his unsubtle questions about homosexuality and everything that's part of that, but I had trusted them when I kept my kids in their care. I thought they were in good hands. But it turned out your mom worked for the PPSS and had been observing us for her entire fucking life. She wasn't communicating with us because she wanted to be a good neighbor – she did it because she was ordered to. And so did you, probably. I wonder what information you were trying to snatch away from us when you still wandered around our House on a frequent basis.'

Raquel, who had gotten a bit shivery and who had turned pale now, gasped and looked at Antonio.

'Yeah, he told me.' I huffed, answering in Antonio's place. 'And yeah, I wanted to call the police when I found out – but you're lucky Antonio managed to convince me not to.'

'I-I'm really sorry for that, Mr. South Italy…' Raquel gulped and rubbed her hands together clumsily. 'I… y-you should know that I… I stopped spying on you on the day Mr. Spain had apparently seen me leaving your House. I-I didn't want to do it anymore, I… u-um… my mother… s-she had been kicked out of the organization shortly after… M-Matteo, Luisa and Alejo were taken away from you, and… and then she—'

'And then you continued spying on us in the hopes of getting into the PPSS in your mom's place. While knowing that organization had only been hurting us so far. While knowing your mom was one of the people that eventually decided to take my and Antonio's kids away from us, robbing us of… of the sole fucking chance we had of raising our own little family.'

I swallowed something gross and squeezed my hands into two helpless fists.

'I-I wanted to… to see them grow up. I hate that I missed so much of them. They haven't even gotten used to the fact that Antonio and I don't get older – don't shake your head like that, Teo, I just know you three are still feeling uneasy around us because of that, I-I just know it. That's why I can't understand why you wanted to be like your mom, Raquel. Fuck. That's just… I can't understand.'

Raquel still didn't say a word. She was quivering more and more, though.

'You stole my newspapers. I could live with that. Then you took away our privacy, and I guess I can… sort of live with that as well. But that was still not enough for you. You wanted Matteo as well. Well, congrats – looks like you have him. What are you going to do now that you have him? Hand him over to that wonderful organization of yours on a fucking silver platter, so that they can try and experiment on him some mo—'

'I just want to be happy with him!'

Raquel had yelled right through my sentence, tears streaming down her pained face as she stared at me so helplessly that even I didn't know what to say to that.

'Y-you don't know me! O-okay? Y-you don't know through what hell I've been gone! I-I understand that you, as a personification, have experienced much more agony than I can possibly imagine, but don't tell me I'm a horrible person! I'm not! I'm not, y-you hear me? I'm a nice person! I'm a kind person! I'm a prince, f-for god's sake! I'm his prince!'

Then she broke down and hid her head in her arms, lying on the table. Her shoulders shook every once in a while and while she cried and sobbed, Matteo looked at me like I had just offended everything he held dear.

His expression, and not Raquel's breakdown, was what made me realize that I had really gone too far, and I started to panic a little when I felt that Antonio, too, gave me such a disappointed look that I could just sink into the carpet here and never get out.

'Papa Lovi,' Matteo slowly started, 'you're my father, and I love you. But say one more hurtful thing about Raquel or her family again and I'll kick you out.'

'And I'll help you with that,' Antonio added, shaking his head at me.

I wanted to say that I was sorry, but I wasn't – I didn't know what 'hells' Raquel had been through, but I still saw her as a part of the PPSS – as part of the people that had taken away my parenthood. I couldn't forgive her for that.

'Don't blame Raquel for all the sadness that happened to you. The PPSS hurt her and her family, too, maybe even more so. Raquel's been living next door to you all by herself – for years.' Matteo wrapped an arm around Raquel and pulled her closer to him, but she didn't look up. 'Her parents got divorced shortly after her dad discovered her mom had been a spy. Her dad walked out on them and she never heard from him again. Then her mother got overtaken with despair and killed herself when neither she nor Raquel managed to get back into the PPSS. Raquel discovered her corpse herself. She was just a kid.'

A sickening knot started to form itself in my stomach.

Matteo pressed his lips together for a second, before continuing. 'Raquel never had a choice, Papa Lovi – she had to become a spy as well, she was her mother's child, after all! She was forced to teach all those… those useless spy-things, and thanks to that, she now has not a clue who she is or what she wants to be. And I like her, I really, really like her, she means so much for me, but – b-but I don't want to think about where she could have been if I hadn't knocked on her door that day – I-I really don't want to think about it, it keeps me up at night sometimes!'

'I…' I gulped and felt regret welling up inside of me like sour, burning acid. 'I-I didn't know… I-I…'

'Now you know!' Matteo gave me a rebellious look. 'And now you know why I can't allow you to make Raquel feel bad about herself – she has suffered enough already! I want to make her happy! I-I want her to get to know the Raquel I know and care about!'

It was like he was talking about himself, in a way – and then it hit me that Matteo, like Raquel, had lost people dear to him. People he loved and thought that would always be there for him. Shit – no wonder he was bawling his eyes out as well now.

'Good for you, Teo,' Antonio nodded, smiling proudly at him. 'You have what it takes to make Raquel happy. I'm sure of it, kiddo – and Papa Lovi knows that, too. Right, Lovino?'

He jabbed me in the ribs with a firm elbow, and it hurt – but I was glad it hurt, because I had deserved that.

'I know!' I piped up, nodding wildly. 'I-I know. Teo. You'll be… y-you are a good boyfriend. Y-you'll be good for her. And I'm really, really sorry. God. I'm so sorry. I… like I said, I had no idea that Raquel's life had been ruined by the PPSS as well. I thought we personifications were the only ones that suffered from their hands. I apologize, I… I'll try to behave better. Please forgive me – the both of you.'

Raquel had finally raised her head from her arms and gave me a weary look, while Matteo's eyes filled themselves with fucking tears as his face got all red and hot.

'Y-yes? Y-you're really sorry, Papa Lovi? F-for real?'

'Yes, for real – really for real, Matteo. I swear!'

'Oh thank god.' Matteo was just in time to cup both his mouth and his nose, before he snorted and snottered over his hand. Meanwhile, tears were now literally rolling over his cheeks. 'T-thank you, dad. I-I didn't want to have to kick you out… I-I'm so happy I don't have to, now! B-because… because I-I'm really bad at it, and then I'd have to ask Raquel to h-help me kicking you out, and… and that would be just weird…'

Happy to know that at least Matteo had forgiven me, I got up from my chair and discretely got him a piece of paper towel he could dry and clean his face with. Meanwhile, Antonio gave our youngest son and his girlfriend a slightly amused look.

'Really? You let Raquel toss out the people that get annoying?'

'N-no, it's not really like that…' Raquel softly said, accepting a paper towel from me as well but still not looking at me, '…y-you see, Matteo's a bit slow when it comes to persistent, annoying people. And he's way too understanding, too – just two days ago, a drunk man managed to get into his house and when Matteo went down to check, he just didn't come back anymore. I got worried and got downstairs as well, and they both were drinking tea while Matteo listened to that drunk man's ramblings as if he was his shrink or something!'

'Really?' I said, staring at Matteo. 'You don't only leave notes for fucking thieves, you're offering them tea and social services as well?'

'Ahahahaha,' Matteo sheepishly grinned.

I cursed and smacked the back of his head. 'Goddammit, Matteo, you damn dope! Don't do that! It's fucking dangerous!'

'Oww…' Matteo muttered and rubbed the back of his head.

'That's what I always say!' Raquel narrowed her eyes and gave Matteo an angry look. 'But he just keeps on doing these kinds of things – he doesn't know what's okay and nice to do, and what's simply too stupid for words. So that's why I decided to intervene whenever somebody is getting too bothersome: I grab them and throw them back on the street. It doesn't happen too often, luckily enough – just two cases of that ever since I got to know Matteo – but I just don't want any of it.'

'Raquel's right, Teo, you shouldn't be so careless around people you don't know. Not everybody's nice, you know? Some people have bad intentions, and you don't want anything bad to happen to your own little family, now, do you?' Antonio sternly said to Matteo.

Matteo was now scratching the back of his head, still wearing a silly smile. 'O-of course not, but it's difficult to determine when somebody's in need of my help or not. Also, I keep forgetting locking the back front door. But okay. I get it. I'll try to pay more attention from now on. After all, it's just like you said, Papa Toni: I don't want anything bad happening to my girls!'

'Girls?' Antonio repeated.

'You mean girl, right?' I said. 'I mean, it's just Raquel and you here. Isn't it?'

Raquel and Matteo both glanced at each other questioningly, as if they were silently discussing something.

Then, after Raquel had given him a wordless, encouraging nod, Matteo breathed in and out one, maybe two times, before getting up from his chair.

'Papa Lovi, Papa Toni? Raquel wasn't the only secret I was hiding from you. There's… well, there's another secret I'd like you to meet.'

'Don't tell me you have a harem.' I shot a look at Raquel. 'Tell me he doesn't have a harem!'

'He doesn't have a harem,' Raquel ensured me. 'But there certainly is another girl in his life that's he's willing to die for, if he'd have to. But you'll meet her in a second now – just listen to Matteo, okay? I'll clean it up in here in the meantime.'

'You're making me kind of nervous – both of you, really,' Antonio nervously said with a nervous chuckle, and he nervously got up as well. I was still standing around the kitchen with the paper towel-roll in my hands, like a total braindead moron, so I didn't need to get up. I lost my temporary purpose in life though when Raquel took my roll from me.

N-no, not my roll…!

'Okay, follow me to the living room, okay?' Matteo flashed a soothing smile at both my and Antonio's anxious faces. 'A-and don't fold your faces like that – it's pretty freaky. You might scare her if you keep them like that.'

And so, while Antonio and I did our best to untwist our faces, we walked after Matteo as he made his way to the living room.

/0o0\

'Did you know that Kay was ten years older than me?' Matteo told both me and Lovino, his voice calm and cheerful, but also a bit sad, on a certain level. 'I met her when I was around, well, how old was I, exactly… I think I was seventeen years old or something. Kay was 27 – she was a lot older than I was and she had had a pretty rough life so far. I seem to fall for that kind of woman, isn't that funny?~'

'No,' Lovino was quick to decide.

'Um,' I could only say.

Matteo laughed a bit. 'Well, it still happened, so nothing you can do about it!~ But anyway, I fell in love with her pretty badly, I must say – she was my first love. She was gorgeous and smart, and she firstly didn't want to start a relationship with me. She thought I was way too young for her, and I guess she was right – Papa Ángel, Papa Stefano and both Allie and Lulu weren't really enthusiastic about her age, either – but after I had wooed her for a while, she finally admitted that she actually liked me a lot, too – and when I had finally become an adult, she was willing to give a possible relationship a try.'

I didn't really know what to say to that. Love knows no age, they say, and I guess that's true, but it's still pretty unsettling that Matteo's beloved Kay was ten whole years older than he was. I mean… it's a bit squicky, if you asked me. I looked at Lovi to see what he thought of it, and judging by the way he was visibly trying to hold back any snappy comments, I could tell he wasn't exactly enthusiastic about Teo's former relationship, either.

We entered a not too big, not too small, cozy living room. It looked like a kid's room, really: there were toys and stuffed animals everywhere, there were drawings of princes, princesses, flowers, cacti and motorcycles (that was unexpected) everywhere, and in the middle of the room was a giant television, with an equally giant sofa right in front of it. A cartoon I didn't know was on the screen and somebody seemed to be watching the show – but the sofa was with its back turned to us, so we couldn't see anybody yet.

In the meantime, Matteo kept on talking.

'So,' he said, his voice getting a bit softer, 'after Kay and I had been in a relationship for two years, I asked her what she wanted for her 30th birthday. She told me she'd like me to give her something only I could give her. That was kind of a brain-gnawer, so I was confused about it for days until Kay decided she'd better just straight-out tell me what she wanted. She said that she knew I was still very young, but she wasn't that young anymore, and… well, she really didn't want to be an old mother.'

Matteo paused, looking at me and Lovino meaningfully.

Lovino seemed to flinch a bit, for reasons unknown to me, but I blankly stared back at my son, not having a single clue.

'Sooooo…' he started.

I slowly nodded at him, a bit puzzled. 'Yes, so what?'

Matteo sighed and groaned, before concentrating his attention to the sofa.

'Mia, can you come here for a sec?'

'M-Mia?' Lovi said. 'You mean your cactus, that Mia? But she got trampl… I-I mean, she's not here anymore, is she?'

Matteo wanted to answer him, but at that moment, above the sofa, a curly head appeared, with two huge hazel eyes that watched the three of us curiously. It blinked a few times and then shyly darted her eyes over us, before mumbling something Lovi and I didn't hear, but Matteo did.

'No no, they're not strangers I met on the street – ahahaha, silly kid – they're family!~ They're your family, too! Will you come here for a moment?'

The curly head got out of sight for a moment. We could hear the kid jumping off the couch and running around it, before appearing right next to Matteo. It was a little girl, about three, four years old, and she attempted to hide herself behind Matteo.

'Aww, don't be scared, sweetie, don't be afraid!~' Matteo laughed and crouched, gently pulling the kid in front on him.

'Oh god.' Lovino gasped. 'No. Noooooo. I can't believe it – M-Matteo, this girl… those eyes… are you…?'

'What?' I said, still not getting it.

Matteo ignored the both of us and patted the little girl's head. 'Now, Mia, why don't you say hi to the grandpa's?'

Grandpa's? I looked around me, but I couldn't see any old people. How strange – what was Matteo talking about?

I wanted to ask Lovino, but he was too preoccupied in holding the little girl, as Matteo had simply picked up the girl and handed her over to him.

'S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-so you're Mia,' Lovi stuttered, awkwardly holding the girl. 'H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hi, M-M-Mia… I-I'm… u-um…I-I'm…'

'Yer grandpa?' The girl grinned widely. 'Naaaaw.'

Lovino stared at her for a long, long time, before grinning back at her, his eyes all fogged up and wet.

'I-I am! I am, M-Mia, I'm… oh god, I'm… I'm your Grandpa Lovi. H-hi!'

GRANDPA LOVI?

'She's our grandchild?' I blurted out, almost getting a panic attack when realization finally struck me. 'She's… what… but how?'

'She's my daughter!~' Matteo beamed.

'But how?'

'I made her!~'

'But how?'

'U-um. Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they—'

'Don't, Matteo – that moron's still in denial, this is his spazz-mode. Just sit through it.'

Lovino, who had gotten over the worst shock already, looked at me boorishly while I kept on freaking out and didn't know what to do or what to say. I even started to speedwalk-pace around the room at a certain moment. The girl thought that was just hilarious and kept on giggling.

'God you're slow,' Lovino said, irritated. 'Damn. Weren't there any bells starting to ring when Matteo told you about Kay wanting something special for her birthday?'

'COULDN'T HE JUST HAVE GIVEN HER A BABY BORN DOLL?'

'Grown women don't want Baby Born dolls.'

'BUT BABY BORN'S ALMOST LIKE A REAL BABY!'

'Stop shouting already – here, have your grandchild, you old coot.'

And without waiting for me to cooperate, he just… just shoved the girl into my arms, forcing me to stop yelling and running around in circles. Instead, I just froze, right on the spot, and stared at the girl as if she was something that actually wasn't here at all, just my imagination, just… just something that couldn't possibly…

'Yer grandpa, too? Heeeeeee… nawwwww.' Mia shook her head.

I couldn't form any words. I mean, I had just discovered I was a grandfather. I was this tiny kid's grandfather.

Lovino gently poked me. 'Tell her who you are, Antonio – come on, she doesn't bite.'

'G-g-grandpa… Grandpa T-Toni.' I swallowed and managed to smile at her. 'H-Hi, Mia!~ H-Hi!'

'Hiya,' Mia said – but she was losing interest in me and Lovino fast, her eyes constantly being pulled back to the big television screen.

'O-oh,' I stammered, 'you… you were watching that?'

'Yea,' Mia nodded.

'Mind if… i-if Grandpa Lovi and Grandpa Toni watch with you?'

Lovi grumbled and blushed, turning his head. 'You idiot, she's just met us – no way she wants to watch a show with—'

'Yea, okay,' Mia shrugged – and instantly grabbed the legs of my pants when I put her down. 'Come NOW. Yoo, too – come NOW.'

Lovino and I instantly obeyed and sat on the couch, while Mia squeezed herself in-between us and started explaining to us what the program was we were about to watch. She was really focused and serious about it, so she didn't notice the tender way Lovino smiled at her or the confused tears that had escaped from my eyes.

I still didn't really believe it, now.

But I had realized it.

I had realized it very much.

RSS

When I was done cleaning up the glasses and cups in the kitchen, I went to the living room as well.

I found Matteo, leaning against a wall behind the sofa, while both his fathers were sitting on it, together with Mia. They looked extremely confused and blown from the world – or something like that – but… but they also looked happy. Very happy – very, very happy. Like all grandparents are when they meet their grandchild for the first time.

I quietly walked to where Matteo was and jumped a little when he, as soon as I was next to him, took my hand. It was very warm, but his hands always were.

'I-I see they met Mia,' I stated.

'Yes,' Matteo said.

'They like her, don't they?'

'Yes!' Matteo smiled broadly, letting out a sigh of relief.

I chuckled and squeezed his hand. 'You might get come competition for your dads' attention from now on.'

Matteo thought a bit about that.

'You know, Raquel? I know they love me. But I also know that they still have difficulties with accepting the fact that I… well, that all three of us have grown up. They had wanted to raise us. They had wanted to be the parents they eventually never got to be.'

I nodded, but kept quiet.

'They thought it was too late for that – you heard Papa Lovi earlier, right? He thinks that we're awkward around them because they don't physically age. But it's not that – we're awkward around them because we suddenly have met them again. We suddenly have a bigger family. That takes time to get used to. I'm sure both Papa Lovi and Papa Toni know that, too.'

'I'm sure you're right,' I smiled.

'Mia might help us all with that. Y-you know?' Matteo's voice skipped and he hastily rubbed his eyes before I could. 'N-now, they can watch her grow up. They can be there for her. They can be the parents they couldn't be for me or my brother and sister. It hurt to… to see how much they… suffered from… realizing we're not those small kids anymore. But I also want them so realize it's fine. It's okay. It's okay. Do you… do you know what I mean?'

'I think so.' I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. 'We're all okay now, I…I believe. That's what matters the most, isn't it?'

'Y-yeah.' He hugged me back and choked softly. 'S-sorry…'

'You can cry as much as you like, silly.' I held on to him tightly. 'A-as much as you want. I don't mind.'

'Y-you sure about that?'

'I-I'm… I'm a prince. A knight in shining armor. And yours. S-s-so you… you shouldn't doubt my words.'

'Okay.' Matteo laughed through his tears. 'O-okay, My Highness…'

o\00/

Seb sure took his SWEET-FUCKING-TIME in the fucking Netherlands.

…

Oh yes, that's right.

THE FUCKER STILL HADN'T RETURNED FROM THAT FLAT, PRACTICALLY FLOATING STRIP OF LAND.

I kind of understood – yes, of course you should spend more time with your biological dad, yes, of course you two have a lot of catching up to do, yes, of course you can both discuss about how and when you're planning to look up Liechtenstein in order to confront her with the truth as well…

…but I was FUCKING PREGNANT.

And alone.

I-I was so alone…

Yeah, Alejo and Matteo were there for me, and all four of my fathers were there for me to help me out/keep me company/annoy the living daylights out of me (that's something apparently all dads do, regardless of how they are exactly related to you), and I'm sure I now sounded like a very spoiled, ungrateful little bitch if I kept complaining about how lonely I felt, but it was the truth.

Seb was the only one who could give me the kind of affection I was currently looking for. Not brotherly affection, not fatherly affection, not even niece-ly affection (which totally is a word, by the way), but just… just romantic affection. Sexual affection. And all those other kinds of affection that automatically burble up inside of you the minute your specific other appears on the scene.

I missed him – god, I missed him so much. I'd probably never say it to his face, and certainly not as dramatically as I could do now, now that I was alone and grumpy and watching clichéd Nicholas Sparks-movies in which all the main characters looked beautiful and had the best sex and the sappiest endings ugh, unf, oh GOD, but really – I missed Seb so much I thought I was going to fucking plummet into a depression if that asswipe wouldn't return within two days.

Luckily enough, Seb told me in his last call that he would return this very night – he'd be with me again the very next morning. That was just wonderful, now I didn't have to get depressed, now I could yell and be angry at him for leaving me for such a long time, and now I could be insanely happy about the fact my stupid, blunt, emotionless and stoic Dutch boyfriend would return to me and be able to hold and hug and kiss me again, and that was glorious.

Wonderful and glorious. Yes. Wonderful and glorious indeed.

But I still was stuck with a very silent evening, dammit, and I sure as hell didn't want to watch yet another chick-flic with crying blonde chicks and gorgeous, sensitive men that cheered them up with their penises so you know what I was going to do instead of that?

I was going to look into the history of Spain and the Netherlands.

…

Well, I had to introduce my parents to my boyfriend some time, and my gut feeling (and the splinters of knowledge in my brain that were left by my history teacher I used to have back in high school) told me that while Papa Lovi probably wouldn't mind accepting Seb as my boyfriend too much, Papa Toni almost certainly… would.

I mean, Spain and the Netherlands fought some pretty heavy wars out there. The Netherlands had been part of the Spanish Empire for fucking centuries. If I had to believe all the information I had found about those wars, quests, conquered countries and fights, one thing was for sure: the Netherlands and Spain were not great fans of each other. And that was putting it lightly. I think they could seriously drink each other's blood at a certain point and hated each other very, very much.

I think the Netherlands detested the Spanish Empire for two major reasons: one, they were robbing the country of its freedom, and two, they were using the wealth the Netherlands and Belgium had to finance the many wars that Spain had going on at that moment. Spain wasn't fond of the Netherlands either, because the country was rebellious, annoying and always complaining. They weren't very trustworthy, either. If an important Spanish figure had an important Dutchman as a friend or comrade, you could practically wait for the Dutchman to stab the Spaniard's back as soon as he'd see his chance. Probably while snidely remarking 'That's what you fucking get for touching my precious money, you Spanish piece of shit' or something like that.

However, although the Netherlands fought hard against Spain, they were too weak for the much more powerful Spanish Empire. As I said, it still took them centuries to finally break free from their suppressors, and the personification of the Netherlands ended up with a pretty nasty scar on his forehead, as a dark reminder of how much of a violent asshat my father was.

He wasn't really frightening anymore, though. Seb had told me that his Dutch father was a tall, firm, kind of broad-shouldered man, while Papa Toni was… well, I wouldn't say he was a flimsy weakling in comparison with the Netherlands, but he sure as fuck was a lot less impressive than what he apparently had used to be. If you put these two personifications next to each other right now, Papa Toni would totally be the Netherlands' bitch.

…

Don't tell Papa Toni or Papa Lovi I said that. Seriously. Papa Toni would probably get sad and Papa Lovi would yell at me for making Papa Toni sad.

Anyway.

So. The Netherlands and Spain. Not a very good mix of Germanic and Latin temperaments right there. Although the Spanish and the Dutch apparently got along really well these days (the most popular parts in Barcelona are flooded with Dutch people almost every day), Seb already let me know via one of his phone calls that his Dutch father wasn't thrilled to find out that his son was dating the daughter of Spain.

But then again, he wasn't exactly against it, either.

'So?' I had asked him, biting my nails as I talked to him. 'Does he… approve of our… y-you know… relationship?'

'Hard to say,' Seb had vaguely answered me, 'I think he WAS pretty upset by it, but when I said that I love you and that you make me happy, he seemed to accept it and told me that getting angry wasn't really one of his strongest points anyway. He also seemed to be very amused by the fact Spain doesn't know about our relationship yet and he suggested I should film his response when I tell him I'll be the father of his daughter's baby. Oh, and he congrats you, by the way. He hopes you're doing well.'

All in all, and in spite of the strange awkwardness of all of this, I… guess I could safely say that the Netherlands didn't mind me as his son's girlfriend that much.

But I wonder what his reaction had been if I had been the guy and Seb the girl (Luis and Sebina – oh god, what a disturbing mental image). I honestly think I wouldn't have gotten away with it that easily – and that's why I now started to heavily fear for Papa Toni's response.

I was his only daughter – and his youngest child, too. The son of one of the countries he hated the most in his most brutal period of life was dating said daughter and that same daughter was even expecting a baby from him.

Oh god.

He was going to kill Seb.

Papa Toni was so going to fucking kill Seb, oh my fucking GOD.

And then he'd go to the Netherlands and try to kill him as well, and then another war would start, and people would die by the dozen, and when my kid would later ask me what had caused the Third World War, I'd say 'What a cute question my child well the main reason for all that death and bloodshed would be YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!'

…

Not a very pretty future to look forward to, but what else was I supposed to do? I couldn't keep my pregnancy a secret from him forever, he was going to find out someday!

I closed some of the many history and baby books lying on the couch (yes I read many subjects at once, I can do such things because I'm a miracle of life AKA multifunctional woman) and put them aside, thinking long and hard as I knitted my eyebrows together.

Okay. Firstly, I should tell them about Seb. That would just be the most reasonable thing to do: at least introduce them to the guy I was willing to spend the rest of my life with. They wouldn't really like it, like I said, but I think nobody would flip the fuck out if I only told them that much, first.

And then, eventually, after the two of them had gotten used to the idea of me and Seb together, I'd carefully tell them about the kid.

You know, five years after it had been born.

…

What, dammit? I just needed to find the right moment to tell them and maybe the right moment would be five years after the kid's birth!

Ugh…

I leaned back and caressed my tummy. It wasn't big yet, though I thought it was starting to grow. Bit by bit. My little baby was beginning to form itself – a thought that was both very exciting and very scary. I should take good care of the two of us, now.

Yes. I exhaled slowly and steadily. I shouldn't stress about whatever opinions Papa Lovi and Papa Toni could have about Seb and/or our baby right now. I should take it easy and think about Seb, being back home tomorrow morning.

That was much better.

Freaking out about my fathers wouldn't get me anywhere anyway. And besides, why should I freak out about them? It wasn't like they were about to ring the doorbell or anything.