A/N: So there's going to be a lot of heart to heart stuff in this chapter, just because I can haha. Hope you'll enjoy.

"Should we get married again?"

"What?"

"I don't know… I just think it's… The proper thing to do."

"The proper thing to do?"

"Yeah. I mean given your situation and everything."

"My situation?"

"Our. Our situation."

"Are you happy about it?"

"What? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you keep calling it a situation."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to… Just forget it."

"Owen…" she said as he got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom.

"Yes?" He asked a tiny bit annoyed.

"You know it's not like I'm thrilled about this either."

"Who said I wasn't thrilled?"

"Oh please. Your actions speak for themselves. When I told you, you were so… happy. And now you're not and I'm just really confused right now." She stated with teary eyes. Damn hormones. He paused for a second and looked at her. She looked scared. But she had no idea that he was even more scared inside.

"Owen please." She pleaded as he just stared at her. He took a deep breath.

"Honestly?" he asked looking at the floor.

"Yes, Owen, honestly."

"You're right. I was happy. I was beyond thrilled but then I… I realized what this means. For us. I'm not saying I don't want this child, because I really, really do. Having a family with you, that was the dream. It still is the dream."

"Then what's the problem?" she asked, seeing the sadness and hurt in his eyes.

"Over the past decade, I was working on accepting that it would always be a dream. I tried to move on. I did, not really, but I pretended to. And now… Now it's not a dream anymore. It's real. And I can't believe it is. You'd think that that's a good thing, but the more I keep thinking about it, it's not. My life… Is a mess. I'm a mess. And you and Olivia and this baby", he gestured towards her stomach, "deserve so much better. They shouldn't be afraid of their father. It's not fair to them. Olivia is a big girl, she can defend herself or run away or something, but this unborn child… It's innocent. And if something happens… When something happens… I won't be able to forgive myself. They deserve better. You deserve better."

"Okay you stop it right there and listen to me. You won't hurt them, or me. Do you hear me? You won't. And you want to know why? Because you're their dad. And you love them. They can feel that. I know that after what happened last week you're afraid, but you'll get better. Plus we still have seven and a half months to get you back on track." She smiled. He sat back down on the bed and took her hand into his. They sat like this for a while until he pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you. Thank you." He whispered.

"You're welcome. Plus I need there to be at least one of us to be sure and happy about this because you're right, they deserve it." He pulled away and looked at her quizzically.

"So you're not happy." It was more of a statement than a question. She looked at him and she knew that he had figured it out way before.

"Well… I mean I have Olivia so I can't just say I'm not going to have this kid, but the timing is more than off. Like you said, it's complicated."

"Yeah it is, but we can make it work. We will make it work. Right?"

"Right." She said, her voice rather hesitant.

"I'm not convinced." He shook his head.

"I'm not either. But I doubt that I'll ever be sure or convinced so whatever. Pushing through."

"Cristina that is not the best kind of attitude for motherhood." She just chuckled.

"Right now, it's the only attitude I have. It will get better, but for right now this is all I have." She said as she jumped off the bed and walked towards the bathroom. He followed her.

"So you're saying you don't want to do this?"

"Do what?" She said leaning against the sink.

"This. Us. A family. Me, you, Olivia and this baby in Seattle. You're 'pushing through'. Hoping that – what? That it'll just stop? Parenthood never stops Cristina." She was staring at herself in the mirror listening to Owen talk. She turned around furiously.

"Don't you think I know that? Do you really believe that I think it's a responsibility for eighteen years and then everything will go back to normal? I wish it was that easy. So no. I don't want it. My life would be so much easier if it was just me. But it's not. And I accepted that. I learned to live with that. Olivia and I… We worked perfectly. I'm not saying that I don't love you, because I do, more than anything, I'm just saying that this isn't the life I wanted. Yet, I'm living it. I need time to come to terms with it okay?"

"Cristina I never asked you to…"

"I know you didn't. I know it's my fault, at least partially, but I never pictured this life for myself. And you know that. And I know that you think that you never asked me to give up anything, hell you even let me go just so that I can be happy, but then you get me pregnant, again, and I had to do it alone. I know I technically didn't have to, but I chose to do what I thought was right. And it almost broke me. But I survived. I kept it together. I pushed through. I came out stronger. I learned that I was capable of taking care of a baby, of loving a baby, and still have a career. I'm not saying it was easy, because it wasn't, it was hell at some points, and it did set me back a couple of years, but I did it anyway. So I know I can do it again, but I need to get all my strength together and focus. Because that's the only way I can do this okay?!" She glared at him with tears streaming down her face. She knew it hurt him to hear that but in that moment, she just didn't care. He looked at her intently.

"You're not alone this time." He held out his and for her to take and she broke down sobbing in his arms.

XXXXX

"Dr. Yang, can you please come to your office?"

"Ross, what is it?"

"Olivia… She's really fussy and I think she needs you for… You know. I know I promised I'd be here and help, but there's a point where…"

"It's fine Shane, really. I'll be there in a few. And I deeply appreciate everything you're doing for me."

"Not a problem. Oh and there's something else."

"What?" Cristina was immediately alarmed. She already felt bad leaving her three month old with Ross for almost the whole day, except for a few short breaks.

"I think she might have a fever but I'm not sure."

"How are you not sure? You're a doctor. Just take her temperature."

"I will, just… Can you please get back here?"

"I'm already on my way." She said as she made her way back to her office as fast as she could.

When she reached the door she took a deep breath. She always did that to switch her 'mode' as she called it. There was 'Dr. Yang', there was 'Cristina' and now there was 'Mommy'. The last one, and newest one, was the most difficult. She didn't know why, but she just didn't feel 100% comfortable with her latest role. Though, she was slowly getting used to it. She stepped inside and saw Ross carrying a tiny, dark – haired baby around the office. The baby seemed to have stopped crying for the moment, but she could still see the tears in her little eyes.

"Look who's here." Shane cooed at the baby. "It's your Mommy. Now you can stop making a fuss." He smiled as he handed her the baby.

"Hello baby girl. I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier but I'm sure Uncle Ross was taking very good care of you." She told Olivia as she sat down on her sofa.

"She was sleeping for a while and when she woke up she just wouldn't stop crying. I tried everything that usually works but no luck. Not even singing."

"Singing?" Cristina asked confused.

"Yeah that's the newest thing. Always worked, until today."

Cristina sighed as she helped her daughter latching onto her breast. She stroke her hair, deep in thought. She wouldn't admit it, but it bothered her that she didn't know what was soothing her daughter best. She had spent a lot of time in the OR lately and Ross was constantly staying with her. She knew it would set him back a little but he insisted on it.

"What are you thinking about?" Shane asked as he watched Cristina. To him, she looked sad.

"Nothing. It's silly." He knew better than to push right now. She would tell him when she was ready to talk about it.

"Okay." He just said. She looked up and noticed that he was staring at her.

"What?" She inquired.

"Huh?"

"You were staring at me. Or more like my boob."

"I wasn't staring at your… I was staring at Livie."

"Why?"

"Nothing just…"

"Out with it." Cristina demanded.

"She could've been mine, you know."

"No she couldn't have. You and I we were long before that."

"No, I know, I'm just saying that there were like one or two times where we didn't… You know."

"Oh Shane you're cute." She grinned and she knew that he was blushing, even though she technically couldn't see it.

"I'm right though." He insisted.

"Shane I was on the pill."

"And then you stopped?"

"What? No, why?"

"Then how was she conceived?"

"Do you seriously want me to draw you a picture?" she smirked.

"That was not what I meant. If you were on the pill and then…"

"I moved to Switzerland."

"What?"

"I'm saying I moved to Switzerland. Time zones. Jetlag. I forgot to take it."

"Oh… Okay."

"Curiosity satisfied?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I just…"

"It's fine."

Olivia was done eating and Cristina held her close to her chest, just to feel the warmth of her tiny body. Ross was about to take her, so that Cristina could go work again but she refused.

"It's okay. Go. Be a surgeon. I can handle my daughter. Plus she is sick, and when you're sick all you want to do is to lie on top of your mommy and be cuddled." She smiled as she remembered Meredith's words. At the time she thought they were silly and Meredith was just being whiny but now she totally understood.

"You sure?"

"Shane?"

"Yeah?"

"She's my daughter. I'll be fine."

"Of course I'm sorry." He gave them one last smile and turned around to walk away. Before he left he turned around again.

"Try singing though. It works. She likes Disney songs."

"Disney huh?" She grinned as she rocked her daughter.

"Frozen especially." Cristina raised her eyebrows again. "They're the only songs I know the lyrics to." She chuckled and made a mental note to learn some Disney songs. She had seen Frozen and it was actually a good movie, despite her aversion against all Disney movies. It was just different.

Ross was still standing in the doorway. She could see in his eyes that there was a part of him that wished he was her dad, even though he would never in a million years admit that. But his eyes told her everything.

"Bye Uncle Ross." Cristina said as she waved Olivia's arm. He smiled and walked away.

"It's just us now baby girl. I think we need to spend more time together. I barely see you anymore. Seems like I'm going back to paperwork only for a while again huh." She said as she stood up and walked over to the huge window behind her desk.

As much as she wanted her career to thrive, she knew she had to put 'Mommy' before 'Dr. Yang' once again. And with that decision, Olivia took another piece of her. She wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing.

XXXXX

"Mom? What happened?" Olivia asked as she saw her mother in her father's arms sobbing like a little baby. It made her worry. A lot. She had noticed that her mother was somehow acting different but she just blamed it on everything that had been going on in the past two months.

Cristina and Owen both hadn't noticed their daughter standing in the doorway. When they heard her voice they abruptly stood up straight and Cristina wiped the tears of her face.

"Nothing, honey. Everything's fine." Cristina tried to assure her daughter and pulled her into a hug. Olivia backed away and stared at her mother.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm just so happy." That was the best lie that came to Cristina's mind.

"So you're crying because you're happy?! I'm somehow not convinced." Cristina and Owen had to laugh involuntarily. Sometimes genetics were scary.

"I'm just happy. I have you and your father and we'll be a family and we'll be fine." She nodded, still tears in her eyes.

"Why wouldn't we be?" She asked, not quite sure what was going on. She let her mother pull her into a hug and hugged her back. She felt her father putting his arms around both of them.

"Yeah, our daughter is right Cristina, why wouldn't we be." He smiled and kissed Cristina on the forehead. She mouthed a 'thank you'. Olivia was still looking at her, waiting for a response.

Cristina smiled and took a breath. "Because life, life Olivia, is sometimes very complicated."

A/N: New chapter, yay! I hope you like it and LEAVE A REVIEW because that's the best way to keep me motivated!