Halo 4 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 2: Another Planet To Explore And Die On

yea...i think the chapter name is kind of too long WHO CARES THIS IS FUCKING HALO SCREWED UP VERSION BABY

p.s. Those of you people who read this I hope you guys have played the campaign or you wouldn't have gotten any of this.

Chief crash lands in the Unknown Forerunner planet.

He survives (Chinese person moment: IMMPOSSIBLU).

After a while of being knocked out.

Chief woke up and found a dead Sangheili on top of him.

Chief pushed the Sangheili off and said, "Every time I'm always knocked out on the second level. Anyways where are we?"

Cortana replies, "Checking coordinate impact data..."

Then randomly Cortana went into rampant mode, "Chief your such a fucking faggot. You keep sucking Sangheili dick you gay bitch."

Chief pulled Cortana out of his head, shocked.

Her avatar appears under the chip Cortana's in.

"Da faq is wrong with you bra?"

Cortana back to normal replies, "I'm fine nothing to worry about."

Chief gets pissed, "Bitch, when I ask a question, you don't tell me nothing is fucking wrong."

Cortana sighs, "I was put into service eight years ago."

Chief replies, "...and your point is..."

Cortana hesitates then says, "A.I.'s deteriorate after seven Chief."

Chief replies, "...and i'm supposed to care because..."

"Chief it's not always about you!"

"Yes it is I'm the star of the game Byotch!"

"Dr. Halsey made me, remember?"

"Oh yeah, that old fucking hag. She can repair you right?"

"Yeah but just don't make a promise you can't keep."

"Okay I won't keep it."

Then finally Cortana replies, "You fucking asshole."

Then she sees two banshees and a phantom flies by in the sky (I rhymed :3).

Chief turns off her avatar (that's a movie :D ...okay i'll stop) and readies up his rifle.

Hours later of everything...I don't know anymore.

Cortana replies, "I"m a clone of Dr. Halsey because she implanted her living tissue into me."

Chief answers, "So basically you had sex with each other."

Cortana said shocked, "What the fu- NO!"

"Well okay then."

Chief encountered the Covenant and they saw chief and the Covenant killed themselves because we already know who was going to win that fight.

"LOL" said Chief.

Cortana said to chief, "Ya know, we could always ask nicely to use their ship."

Chief answered in a low tone, "Fuck no!"

Cortana questioned, "What was the point of doing that in a low tone?"

Chief replied, "Because I felt like it bitch."

Hours later of everything...wait...I already said that earlier.

So just because I'm a dick, I'm going to skip to the end of the level because It's all combat dialogue.

Anyways Cortana decided to access a terminal.

For some odd reason Cortana decided to be a dumb ass and let all the unknown forerunner aliens out.

Chief got all drama queen and complained that Cortana is a dumb ass.

One of the aliens roared at Chief.

He pointed his assault rifle at it and it teleported away.

All Chief said was 'pussy ass bitch'.

Cortana finally came to her senses and opened up a portal.

Chief grabbed 'that bitch' and got the fuck out.

Okay i'll start working on the next one.