Halo 4 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 4: Outfinity

Hey i'm back...again now let's do some funneh

The scene opens up on a jungle (DOGE ALERT: so green) an it pans down to Chief.

Cortana says to Chief, "Stay low, recon sortie heading this way."

Phantoms and Banshees flew over John's position.

Chief turned around and saw the crashed Outfinity ship.

He saw Didact's ship "Cryptum" scanning Outfinity while Banshees fly toward the crashed ship.

Cortana replies, "The ship looks intact."

Queef I mean Chief replied, "I think the Didact wanted that way, ho!"

Lasky says over the com in a retarded voice, "Irm a Commander!"

Chief questioned, "Da faq?"

The Lasky continued, "Does anyone read?"

Chief shook it off and answered, "This is Sierra 117 of the UNSC Backward Unto Dusk. We're on station, ready to fuck."

Lasky replied, "Negative copy, sounded like you said 'Backward Unto Dusk'? Come again-"

Cortana says, "The signal is fucking up. I can't clean it up."

Chief sighs, "Lazy bitch. Anyways, light up their friend-or-foe tags; we're gonna need something to zero on in."

More banshees fly toward Outfinity (jeez calm down enemy).

Cortana continues, "I'm seeing multiple IFF tags below the tree line."

Chief questioned, "What's a IFF tag?"

Cortana replied annoyed, "You've got to be kidding!"

"No. I'm not."

Don't feel like explaining because I don't care because I'm tired of typing books, but I fucking want to.

Do you people know how it feels to not do something, but you want to do it anyways?

What the winter hell?!

I keep going of topic...yet again!

Chief makes his way down through the fog-laden jungle.

Del Rio says something, but I don't feel like typing it.

So, instead of typing that you readers are going to think about pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows and a mother fucking majestic potato. :3

Now back to the story lol.

A few hours later fighting Promethean robots.

Chief finds a door and it opens (retard laugh heheheheh).

I already used that joke already.

... ... ... ...Okay I got one.

Chief finds a door to a Forerunner structure and it opens and along came a pink butterfly.

There we go!

Marines are revealed inside.

Three Spartan-IVs emerge and survey the area (there are more spartans now, what the geriatric fuck).

Lasky approaches Chief.

He starts off, "Afraid we're gonna have to give you an IOU on that welcome home party." (Dammit)

They shake hands.

The door closes after Palmer says to the other Spartans, "Seal 'er up."

She looks at Chief and says, "I thought you'd be taller."

Chief got horny all of a sudden, which went away when Cortana became a bitch again.

Del Rio and Lasky is talking on a radio.

Yeah, I decided to skip that part.

Anyways, Del Rio is an asshole.

He probably has an ass and a hole for a face HAHAHAHAHA! (Ba dum tiss.)

Del Rio signs off on the radio and Cortana questioned, "You were sent on a scouting run in the middle of an attack on the ship?"

Lasky replies, "The Captain thought Outfinity could provide us cover and hold off the attack at the same time."

Then Palmer who is the leader of the new generation of spartans said to Lasky, "Sir, we'll never get the wounded back to the ship on foot."

Lasky silently agrees.

Then we walked to Chief and told him about the plan that he thought up himself.

"I don't suppose you're any good at clearing LZs?"

Chief replies, "Bro, I can do anything!"

Cortana interrupts, "No your not! You can't even be social with anyone." (OOOOH that's got to hurt.)

A few minutes of killing Prometheans later.

Chief found locked doors and inserted that di- I mean Cortana in the pedestal near the entrance.

Me annoyed with sarcasm: More Prometheans. Yaaay.

Chief questioned to Cortana, "Cortana? How close are we?"

Cortana replies in rampant mode, "YOU DO YOUR JOB AND I'LL DO MINE, YOU COCKBITE!"

Chief got over it because he was to occupied kicking some serious ass.

The doors opened and Chief grabbed Cortana and she replies, "I'm sorrt about back there. That hatch's security was more difficult than I expected."

Chief actually said something in a calm way, "It's alright."

Cortana replies and she sounds distorted, "It's not alright. Nothing about it is alright."

Chief sighs, "Jeez calm down."

Cortana was shocked that Chief discovered the Prometheans and the Covenant were working together, but we knew that was going to happen.

Fucking Forerunner religious bitches.

Later...

Chief cleared the L.Z.

Chief got the fuck out of the jungle.

He got in a tank and blew shit up.

Then he went inside Outfinity.

Del Rio noticed and call Chief on the com, "Chief you pick a hell of a time to join us."

Chief replied, "Yup now get the fuck over it."

Del Rio mentioned a mantis vehicle and Chief was all like O_O

"OMG OMG OMG WHERE IS IT!"

Del Rio replied, "I don't fucking know. I may be Captain, but I just stay here in the bridge not even caring what the hell is going on."

After a few hours Chief found the Mantis (Red VS Blue moment: FRECKLES).

Chief made it outside shot at the ship that Didact was in.

He was like screw this and left.

Yay we won...for now.

Thanks for reading :D