Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1: Well, this is it. The final chapter of this ALL-CONSUMING fic of RANDOMNESS. Although I do hope you all thought it was a lot more than just a simple, really huge fic. I hope you, like me, found it a story of love, family and time, that will always pass. You can't fight it. You can't hate it, either – ironically enough, that will only cost you precious time. So just accept time as it comes and goes, and who knows what life's got in store for you.^^

The past years I've worked on this fic were all over the place, as usual. I got my driver's license, I went back to school, I found a job, I lost it again (but I'm still a mailwoman!), I went on – drum roll please – two dates and I even bought myself a red car I named Matilda, because Matiz sounds a lot like Matilda and I happened to like the name.
And I wrote. All this time, I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. I loved every second of it, as always, and you were there to morally support me. Thank you so much for that.

Thanking all of you separately will be impossible, but I know that there are some readers/reviewers out there that have always, ALWAYS supported me, each and every week, and my special thanks go out to you. You rock. You made my week. You let me know that people liked my story. I can't thank you enough for that.

I also thank the occasional reviewers. The people that surprised me every once in a while with a review I didn't see coming. Those are like little, unexpected presents, and boy, do I like those. Thank you, too!

And of course the anonymous lovelies! Oh, I wanted to respond to you, I really did, but you decided that is was better for me to not allow me to send a reply back and spare my writing-powers. Thanks! You helped, too!

To all the people that drew me fanart or gave me love and/or attention in any other way: I appreciate all that you have done for me and this fic and I will always cherish the pics/fics/presents you made me. Now if somebody would just make a drawing that I could use as the profile-pic for this story – NO COME BACK I'M JUST KIDDING!
You brought my characters to life. Do you even know how that feels? Well I do now. Thanks to YOU. Thank you for that. ^^

But also the lurkers. YES YOU. *points at screen* You are great, too, even if you didn't tell me you enjoyed my fic. Because you, too, kept coming back. That's one of the best things a writer can accomplish: wanting people to come back. Thank you, as well.

A/n2: Right, moving on right away: this chapter takes place five years after the wedding anniversary.
Just so you know.

A/n3: My father's not a very romantic person – or so I used to think. And yet, my mom said that he actually was (and still is) and that he once gave her the best Valentine's present ever.
So this one day, I went to my dad and asked him what the best present was he had ever given my mom on Valentine's Day.
This was his answer.^^

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 100: Epilogue

You.
My dad
(Teacher, parent and personal hero)

Papa and Rakel told me to go 'play in the churches' garden' with the other kids after the ceremony, but I said that I didn't want to because there weren't any 'other kids' to play with!

Yeah okay there were some but they were all too young! Wayyyyy too young. And slimy. And you know what, tiny kids are annoying, too. Guil is always grumpy, and Wina eats stuff out of her nose ewwwww and Vito's too young to do anything else than poop and smell real bad and sleep on aunty Tia's lap! And Fia's too scared! Of everything! Even poop!

So I couldn't play with them!

That's what I told them!

Papa just smiled like 'ahahahahahahahahaha oh well kids!~' but Rakel frowned at me and bent down a little. She looked really pretty in her wedding dress, even uncle Allie had said so, and uncle Allie almost never said nice things about how she looked (uncle Allie was mean like that but he's OK, too, he takes me and Guil and Wina out fishing sometimes and uncle Seb too).

'Now, Mia,' Rakel said, her hands resting on her big tummy, 'I know this is a stressful day for you, too, but I'm afraid you really have to amuse yourself a bit, sweetie. Papa and I are busy, you see? There are people everywhere!'

I huffed but looked around the garden anyway. There were a lot of people, yes. Very strange people, too. Papa said that they all look so young and strange because they can't die or something, and represent countries and stuff, but I really don't care. Because they should have brought more kids, darns it. There were, like, two more kids like Guil and Wina (a blonde boy and another blonde boy) but that's it. That's it! Really!

That's wayyyyy too few!

But yeah, papa said that little brother Angelo (but I'll call him Lo, Lo's way cooler than Angelo) will be with us in a few more weeks so there will be more kids when uncle Allie and auntie Tia get married and that's nice.

…

But only if they get married in, like, five years, because I can't play with babies. I can only poke them.

I looked up at Rakel and I saw she was pretty tired of being pregnant and everything and I wanted to say something nice – like, 'okay, I'll play, I'll be the good, oldest kid', but then my silly little sis stumbled against her and clasped her hands around Rakels dress and yelled that she 'founds tha flowerz!' or something.

That stink-face! She totally stole my thunder! My moment!

Rakel looked at her and made a worried face as she studied the weed Fia was holding – ahahahaah, it was weed, it was weed, not a flower, wow, Fia, what a fail! – and then gently shoved her my way. Like Fia was a present – but she wasn't, Fia's annoying and cries a lot.

'Mia, will you take Sofia with you if you're going to play with the others?'

'Why!' I moped, folding my arms. This day sucked big time. Not only did I have to wear a stupid, butt-ugly dress with dumb ribbons, I had to babysit my derpy sister as well. Aw man! Cattlesnatchez! I couldn't wait till this day was over!

Rakel sighed and was then suddenly softly pulled back upright by papa, who told her she should sit and take a break. Rakel smiled thankfully at him and patted my head one more time, before wobbling like a tall Mama Duck to the white table where auntie Tia, auntie Lulu, uncle Seb and uncle Allie were sitting as well. Oh, and gramps Fano. They all greeted her with big smiles and uncle Seb even got up to move a chair for Rakel.

'Mia?' Papa said, and I looked back at him. Papa had crouched and gave me a friendly smile, holding on to Fia's dress to avoid she'd follow Rakel (Fia was like a baby duck, she followed her Mama Duck everywhere since she started walking).

'Yes, papa?' I asked.

'Why don't you and Sofia go look for Granvi, hm?' He playfully pinched my cheek. 'Granni said he should be sitting in the grass somewhere near that big tree over there. I thought that Guillermo and Wilhelmina were with him, too!'

I confusedly took Fia's offered hand (well, papa offered her hand – Fia still whined about wanting to follow Rakel) and raised an eyebrow, like auntie Lulu could do so well.

'Why are Guil and Wina with Granvi, too?'

'He's going to tell a story!~' Papa's eyes sparkled.

I gasped. 'No way!'

'Yes way!'

'I wanna hear that story! He tells awesome stories! Guil said he once even told him and Wina a story about flesh-eating dwarfs!'

Papa's smile faded a bit. 'Wh-what kind of story was that…?'

'You know!' I jumped up and down. 'The story about Snow White! Snow White and the Flesh-Eating Dwarfs! Guil told me Granvi told him! Man, I never knew she ran away with the hunter in the end!'

'She did?!' Papa's eyes now got a lot bigger. 'But that's amazing! Drat, now you've made me curious – now I have to hear that story one day, too!'

I grinned and stuck out my tongue at him. 'Well not today, because today he's going to tell another story and I'm going to hear it and it will be cool and ha!'

Papa chuckled and stood back up again. 'Alright, I guess you'll have to tell me later what the story was about.'

'Maybe.' I shrugged. 'Now excuse me, papa, Fia and I have a business appointment.'

'With your grandfather?'

'YES. It's VERY serious.'

'Right, right, of course!' he laughed, shaking his head. 'Well, have fun, girls!~ Ask Granvi if he wants something to drink, okay?'

But I couldn't answer him, I was wayyyyy too busy hasting my and Fia's butt to wherever Granvi was.

MH

'What the hell took you two damn twerps so long, missy?'

Granvi frowned at me when Fia and I came running (and wheezing really hard!) to the pretty and old and pretty old tree he was sitting at, or under, together with Guil and Wina and those two other kids I didn't know. But the boys then suddenly walked away so whatever.

'I-I didn't know you were… were here!' I panted and let go of Fia's sweaty little hand. 'That you… were here and-and going to tell a story! I didn't… didn't know! I-I swear!'

Granvi narrowed his baby-barf-colored eyes a bit and rubbed his chin, like he was an evil mastermind, and that made me giggle a bit, he looked so silly!~

'Alright.' Granvi nodded, pulled Fia on his lap ('cause she was starting to talk to the tree, ugh, she was such a doofus) and patted to the empty spot next to him. 'Flimsy excuse accepted, Mia, but only because I'm surrounded by drooling toddlers and I need an intelligent, older girl to avoid I'll start talking in baby talk.'

I grinned proudly.

'Wha! Imma NOT drool!' Guil then nagged at Granvi, his light-brown hair covering one of his eyes. Guil looked just like uncle Seb, they always said, but I didn't think so. I thought he was a lot like auntie Lulu, since he yelled and blushed a lot, too.

'No no, you're not drool. Come here.' Granvi grinned and grabbed Guil's face to wipe the drool (EWWW.) off it. Guil was all like 'NO OPA LOBI DO NOT WANT DAMMIT' but Granvi was, like, very strong and just kept polishing his face until the wet icky stuff was gone.

Wina just sat on the grass and stared at her half-melted icecream. Wina never said much, she didn't laugh much and didn't get angry much either, but she was pretty awesome. If she, you know, didn't pick her nose, at last. She had this very reddish hair and it was always all over the place but in a nice way and I was going to steal her hair.

'I'm gonna steal your hair,' I told her while Granvi still struggled with Guil.

Wina gave me a blank look. 'Why?'

'It's pretty.' I huffed and folded my arms. 'You're too young to have pretty hair. You're, like, four.'

'Yea.'

'Four-year-olds can't have prettier hair than eight-year-olds.'

'Oh.'

'So.'

'So?'

'I'm gonna steal it.'

'Mine.' Wina grabbed hold of her long red hair and furrowed her brows at me.

I snickered, because that was SO NOT gonna help her!

But then Granvi gave me a tap on my head and I looked up, giving him a puzzled look.

'No stealing hair from your cousin, even if it's indeed very pretty. I mean, shit, if someone would have the right to swipe Wilhelmina's hair, it would be me. I'd be fucking beautiful.'

Fia gasped. 'SWEARZZZ! Gramp Lofy SWEARZZZ!'

'He always swearzzz,' Wina said.

'Just like mama,' Guil added.

'Why do you always swear, Granvi?' I asked, wrapping my arms around his arm because I wanted a hug and a story, too.

Granvi blinked. 'Um. Wow. This probably is the first time somebody's asked me that. Ever. And it's actually a very good question, too! Damn you Mia, with you clever remarks and shit. Wait a minute, let me think.'

I snickered and watch Granvi think in a way that was wayyyyy too deep and stuff but still very funny. Fia was giggling as well and Guil also couldn't hide a grin.

You see, Granvi was very handsome, he always wore nice clothes and he was like many of the other peeps that were here in the church garden right now one of them 'undying' persons.

Granvi was very nice, too, and also funny! But Granvi didn't always like lots and lots of peeps around him so he sometimes just walked away from all the busy things to be on his own, papa once told me.

'But yeah, kids really seem to like him, so he's always surrounded by kids!~ Isn't that great? All his grandkids love him so much!~ They're like his Pokémon, ready to battle for him!~'

Granvi had stared at me really annoyedly-ish when I told him 'bout papa's Pokémon story and said in a toneless voice that he was a 'fucking moronic airhead' before he went over to papa to both knuckle-rub his head and hug him.

I don't get grown-ups, they're like papa's favorite paintings in that one museum we go to sometimes: weird and big.

Anyways, Granvi kind of forgotten about my very deep question when Guil and Fia got bored and he quickly said that he was going to tell us the REAL story of the Ugly Little Duckling.

'Whutta you mean, REAL stowwy?' Guil wanted to know, looking at Granvi critically while Fia and I were like WOWZA, the REAL story, and Wina just kept staring at her ice cream.

Granvi grinned and looked around us secretively, beckoning us all to scoot a little closer. So we did!

'Shhh – it's a story that's actually not really about being pretty or ugly – it's a story about being different. Because, you see, many people seem to think that being different is the same thing as being ugly. But it's not! You understand what I'm trying to say?'

'Yes,' I said.

'No,' Guil said.

'No,' Wina said.

'Butts,' Fia whispered – and then started cackling.

…

My little sister is so dumb.

'So you don't get it? Well tough, I'm going to tell it anyway.' Granvi huffed – but then he turned to me anyway, 'cause I was his pretty smart granddaughter and stuff.

'Mia, my crazily smart granddaughter of Wittiness.'

My mouth went, like, all open. WOW THAT WAS EVEN BETTER!~

Granvi nodded to the other kids. 'You'll help me out when I need you, right?'

I nodded wisely, since he was right, I was the only one that could help him, I was like a translate wizard girl, and his CRAZILY SMART GRANDDAUGHTER OF WITTINESS, YEAH!

Don't know what that was, but it sounded epic!

So I made a thumbs-up sign to Granvi and smiled broadly at him. 'Okay, don't worry, Granvi, I'll help!'

'Good.' Granvi cleared his throat, and although Wina and Guil still didn't really get it, they excitedly crawled a bit closer to Granvi anyway when he sent this really mysterious look around our small circle of kids and one-grown-up.

'Alright, tiny persons, are you ready for this? Here we go…'

\0o0/

'Once upon a time, there was a nice, big farm near the entrance of a forest. On that farm, there lived several animals, like cows, pigs, sheep, horses, chicken… but also a family of ducks, that lived near a pond.

You might wonder what on earth a farmer's got to do with fucking ducks, I mean, duck eggs aren't even that tasty, but hey, it wasn't my farm, it was the farm of… um… Farmer Andrea and his family. A very rich and completely independent farmer that everybody despised since he was such a wealthy bastard. He had a wife and three kids, but the story's not about him or his stupid family at all, so let's just ignore this rich asshole and his strange love for duck eggs.

Because the story's about eggs.

Well, about one egg, to be specific: the last egg Mother Duck needed to sit on to make it hatch.

All of her other eggs had hatched already, and the four siblings of the last egg all waggled around their mom curiously, a bit like restless paparazzi-people.'

'No! Kind of like Fia!' Mia interrupted me with a high-pitched voice. 'She always follows Rakel, even when she needs to use the toilet!'

I smiled when I noticed the grumpy face Sofia made after her sister's remark and hugged her some more. 'Don't listen to her, your papa used to follow me around all the time as well and I thought that was adorable. Just like…'

Sofia looked up to stare at me. 'Liek…?'

'Like you, you little tyke.'

Sofia's grey eyes got a little more glittery and she beamed a smile at me, shyly grabbing her feet.

'Hee… I liek yoo.'

'Goddammit – don't smile at me like that – my poor heart can't take it.'

'Wha?'

I shook my head at Sofia, pinched her little nose just because I fucking could and looked around the circle of kids around me. 'I'll tell you later, okay? I still have a story to tell, and I haven't even started yet!'

Sofia nodded quietly – right after Wilhelmina, she was the most laid-back grandchild I had – and so, I continued with the fairytale.

'Now, at a certain moment – Mother Duck let out a startled QUACK! when she felt the big egg underneath her was starting to move around. Tiny, but sharp cracking sounds could be heard all around the pond, and she quickly got off the egg to watch the miracle happen.

The egg hatched!

Finally, the last, most mysterious egg she had, hatched – and out came a little duckling.

But his mother, brothers and sisters, that still didn't have anything better to do than to hang with their mom, I suppose, all were shocked to see that the duckling was… well… black.

He was black. Not a cutesy yellow, like his siblings, but a pitch black… blackness.

"Damn," his brothers said.

"Damn," his sisters said.

"This could get awkward," his mother said – because yes, what would happen when Father Duck would return from the Pond Bar (Father Duck really liked Muddy Water Jin) and saw this kid?

"Hello my dear siblings – hello my dear mother!" the duckling spoke, happily flapping with his little black wings. "Why are you all staring at me? Do I have something on my face?"

"It is your face," a sister scoffed. "You're black. Like, what the crapola?"

"You're not one of us!" a brother nagged. "You look nothing like us!"

"That's right – I'm so much prettier," the black duckling nodded, admiring his reflection in the water of the pond. "Good thing you guys have realized that already – I had feared this would be an awkward conversation. Good safe! But god, just look at me. I'm fabulous!"

"WHAT," another brother gasped.

"No!" his youngest sister yapped. "You don't get it, jerk! We don't think you're pretty, we think you're ugly! SUPER UGLY!"

The duckling smiled haughtily at her. "Like you're easy on the eyes, sis. Comb your feathers already, you look like a yellow turd."'

Mia, Sofia and Guillermo started to laugh at that, while Wilhelmina blinked with her eyes, something I saw as one huge, big-ass compliment from her side.

'A TURD!' Guillermo yelled. 'He called her a TURD! That's AWESOME!'

'A yellow turd, even,' I snickered – causing Guillermo to roar even harder.

'That sounds so gross,' Mia commented. 'A turd's already disgusting, but a yellow turd… do you poop yellow turds when you eat too many dandelions?'

Sofia gasped in horror and gave me a panicked look, a half-eaten dandelion in her hand.

'No no, it's just a figure of speech,' I reassured her – but plucked the flower out of her hand anyway, just in case. 'The duckling was insulting his bitchy sister, you see, because she was trying to make him feel really bad about himself.'

The kids' laughter faded away and they now all looked kind of worried.

'That's mean,' Wilhelmina said. 'They're mean.'

'Yeah,' I agreed, 'but don't worry, sweetie – this duckling isn't like the spineless dork you read about in the books. This one had sass.'

'Ohhh,' Sofia said.

I carried on.

'Now, Mother Duck might have been a bit shocked to see her youngest son was a black duckling, but she was a pretty cool Mother Duck: she smacked the siblings that were trying to tease him with her big, broad wings and told them she didn't raise them to behave like that.

"You haven't raised us at all, mom – we hatched like three hours ago!" a brother complained.

"Does that matter?" Mother Duck scowled at him. "Look Redlef, you little bratty twerp, I don't care if you're evil or just ignorant – you WILL treat your brother with the respect he deserves, or I'll personally hand you over to the farmer when he goes looking for animals to eat for Christmas!"

"But I don't want to be named Redlef…"

"Hush, dear. Take your siblings for example. I gave Pancha, Udine, Ardin and Xerxes horrible names as well, but do you you hear them complain?"

"Well yes," the 'ugly' duckling said, "Pancha, Udine, Redlef and Ardin are all pretty awful names, but Xerxes is actually fairly awesome. It's like the odd one out."

Mother Duck smiled. "That's right, dear, hence why your name's Xerxes."

"Sweet," Xerxes said.

"What, no fair!" Pancha wailed.

"I wanted to be called Xerxes!" Ardin pointed out.

"Why does the ugly one get the pretty name!" Udine complained.

"Why is my name REDLEF!" Redlef cried.

Mother Duck wanted to scold her ungrateful children – even though they had a point, she really did suck at names, but then again, she's a duck, what the fuck do you expect from a damn duck – but before she could open her beak to give them a piece of her mind, Mother Hen came by and complimented her with her beautiful ducklings.

"My my, Vesta, what beautiful children you have!"

"Why thank you, Mercedes, that is very kind of you!"

And yes, in case you were still wondering: it seemed like birds in general had the most ghastly names of the entire animal kingdom. They just couldn't think of nice names, the poor things.

Mother Hen smiled and nodded at the ducklings approvingly, but her smile faltered when her eyes fell on the black duckling, still in awe over his own beauty.

"Say, Vesta?"

"Yes, dear?"

"That ugly thing over there… is it… it couldn't be, but… is it yours?"

"Mrs. Hen, how dare you!" Xerxes made an angry face and covered his sister non-visible ears with his wings. "You hurt poor Udine's feelings!"

"IS THAT TRUE AM I AN UGLY THING," Udine instantly started to bawl, while Ardin, Redlef and Pancha feather-palmed en masse.

Mother Hen ignored the ruckus and turned to frown at Mother Duck. "Now, Vesta, I know that Zander hasn't always been a good husband, but really, to have done something like this…"

Mother Duck quacked in protest. "Mercedes! Are you accusing me of cheating? I have you know that most ducks are monogamous for at least a year, madam, and so am I!"'

'We wanna listen, too.'

I had to snap out of my storytelling-daze for a moment to actually realize that one of the blond kids that had sat with us before had sat down again, his blue eyes looking at me questioningly.

'Well, sit down then,' I told him. 'And tell your brother to sit down as well.'

Said brother, was watching me from a safe distance and gasped audibly when my eyes met his.

'Come,' the blond boy simply cried out – and then just sat down, next to Guillermo. His younger brother crawled our way as well, until he was sitting next to Wilhelmina.

It felt a bit strange to have René and León, Desiree's parentless sons, sit with us – but I quickly got rid of that feeling. They couldn't help it either their mom was a cheating mess that had ditched them at the front door of their immortal grandfather before running off with another man again. Their life was hard enough already, even though the kids did have a lot more structure in their life now they had France to take care of them. Fuckfaced asshole or not, France was a good (grand)father and he made sure they felt good about themselves.

They still were terribly quiet for boys their age, though…

But hey, maybe they would feel better if they'd spend more time with my own demonic grandchildren. I hoped so.

'Okay,' I said, shifting a bit, 'now where was I?'

Mia raised a hand. 'Mother Duck was dissing Mother Hen.'

'Ah – thanks, Mia. I'll go on from that point.'

I cleared my throat, first, because all that talking sure got me thirsty.

'Ahem…

So Mother Duck and Mother Hen kept bitching at each other for a little while (and during this time, the ducklings had decided to go for a swim because nothing's more pointless than watching a fight between two grown-ups), until Mother Hen at a certain point gasped and pointed a feathery wing towards a drake – you know, a male duck – waggling their way.

'It's Zander!' Mother Hen said – and then instantly sashayed off in a remarkable calm and stylish way, but that could be because chicken just happen to walk more elegantly than ducks. It's a common fact.

Mother Duck frowned and watched the weirdly-walking drake approach her. Now, all ducks walk weird. It's what they do. But this duck, that was now coming their way… well, he wobbled and waggled the way people do that have drunk way too many suspicious drinks, if you catch my drift, nudge nudge wink wink.

Well Mother Duck certainly caught my drift and placed her wings in her hips, as far as this was possible, and tapped her flat foot impatiently as the drunk duck finally was in front of her, reeking of that terrible Muddy Water Jin.

"Ey, girly," Father Duck hiccuped, "howzit gowin? How about them eggs – are they still hard and shelly and stuff? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Zander." Mother coldly greeted him. "I thought you said you'd return to see the eggs hatch as soon as you could."

"Yeah well I know I saids that, sweetums, but then thisssss realllllly nice jin saids I should stay for a little longer… I mean… eggs are just not my thing."

"What do you mean, not your thing? They are yours!"

"Noooo I didn't laids them, sugarface… you did! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hic…"

But Mother Duck didn't laugh at all. She was furious! Once again, she regretted ever hooking up with him, of course, and her dear mother and good father had already warned her this guy just wasn't any good, she should have picked Rono, that sweet, cross-eyed drake-next-pond…

…but having second thoughts now wouldn't do her or anybody around her any good, so she bit her tongue and forgave her drunk spouse. Then she nodded stiffly to the flock of children racing in the pond.

"In case you're interested, Zander – there they are. Our children."

"Well ain't that lovely," Father Duck commented, nodding contently upon seeing his kids, that had noticed him and now swam towards him like mini-Donald Ducks, "and don't they all look handsome like their old man and pretty like their mother and HOLY MOTHER OF GEESE WHAT IS THAT THING?!"

Xerxes, who got out of the water first, let out a shriek of dismay and once again wrapped his wings around his sister's head protectively. "What's wrong with you birds – stop hurting Udine already! Sheesh! So rude!"

"WHY ARE YOU ALL SO MEAN TO ME," Udine sobbed.

Ardin, Pancha and Redlef all sighed and shook their little yellow heads, before Redlef pointed out, once and for all for duckness sake, that, actually, Xerxes, whenever somebody said that one specific 'thing' was ugly, they would be talking about HIM.

Xerxes gasped. "About you, Redlef? You poor sucker."

"Wha—NO, YOU MORON, NOT ABOUT ME – ABOUT YOU! YOU! YOUUUUUU!" Redlef quacked loudly.

"You are the ugly one!" Pancha 'helped' her brother. "Not Udine, not Redlef – but you! Get it through your thick skull"

"You're the ugliest thing since… um… like… burnt grass!" Ardin also added.

"That's not a very nice thing to say," Xerxes said, looking at all of his sisters and brothers with a disappointed frown. "Just because I beat all of your yellow asses in that swimming contest? Tssssk, some sore losers you are."

"THAT SWIMMING CONTEST IS NOT THE POINT!"

"WE'RE ACTIVELY TRYING TO SCAR YOU FOR LIFE HERE DAMMIT!"

"GET DEPRESSED ALREADY YOU NIGHTMARE-DUCK!"

"ALSO YOU OBVIOUSLY CHEATED!"

"THAT AIN'T MY SON!"

The yelling continued for quite some time, even though Mother Duck (the only one who sincerely believed in her youngest son's good qualities and thought he at least was the only one that didn't act like a total spazz) angrily tried to stop them. The mean arguments flying over the place made the black duckling muze and ponder about what to do next, now that he knew how his family thought of him.'

I paused when I saw the faces of the kids around me. They were still very interested, still leaning towards me for more, but they looked kind of sad as well.

'What's the matter?' I friendly asked them. 'Something wrong?'

'Well yea,' Guillermo said gruffly. 'They all mean to Xrreesrerss. I wanna punch them. He should punch them!'

'Yes,' was all Wilhelmina had to add.

'Is he gonna punch the ducks?' Mia asked. 'The ugly duckling? Is he gonna punch them?'

'Punch-the-ducks, punch-the-ducks,' René and León started to chant under their breaths.

'Brush-tha-dicks, brush-tha-dicks,' Sofia attempted to mimic them, making me snort involuntary.

'Eyy, not funny!' Guillermo complained when he noticed I laughed. 'Tis stowwy's no fun! It's sad! But you giggle!'

Instantly regaining my composure, I sternly wagged my finger at him. 'Silly Guillermo, your grandfather's too manly to giggle. I at the very most chortle. Now come here and let me punish you for calling my cool roars of amusement giggles.'

Guillermo grinned widely and indeed sneaked closer, letting out a fake 'ow!' when I gently tapped him on the head.

'Now sit back and shut up, you twerps – I want to get this story over with before the sun sets, thank you very much.'

'Yowelkome!' Sofia automatically responded – but that's what you get when you've spent the most of your short life in a flower shop.

I smiled at her, but then went on with my story.

'So anyway…

The duckling that everybody called ugly had finally gotten the message: his family didn't think too highly of him. His mother did, yes, but she was just one bird, and the pond was a place swarmed with all kinds of birds that, now that he took a good look around him, all eyed him like he didn't belong with them.

So, he did what every other ambitious duckling in his place would do:

He went to Oceanwood.'

'What the breadsticks,' Mia stammered. 'To Oceanwood?'

I nodded. 'It's like a bird-version of Hollywood. He packed his leafy-bags, kissed his mother goodbye, flipped the bird at his siblings and father, allowed said bird to scream at him afterwards ("Why did you flip me, you ghoul! WHY!"), and then, right before leaving – with a tiny knapsack on his back and everything – turned to his former house, the pond, one last time.

"Dear feathery folks of the pond,

I understand that you do not like me, for I am different and not pond-worthy.

You are all right.

I am not pond-worthy.

I am OCEAN-worthy!

So screw you all – except for you, mom, and you, Udine, you ugly sweetheart…"

"STOP CALLING MEUGLY ALREADY!"

"…as I was saying, screw the rest of you, bye bye, ta-ta, and smell you all later. I'm off to fame and victory in Oceanwood – a place where birds will like me for who I am. Peace!"

And as he somehow managed to form the V-sign with his wings without getting all cramped up, he disappeared into the forest.

The other birds at the pond didn't hear for him for a very long time after that and just continued their boring lives. The ducklings all eventually grew up and got a just as simple and run-off-the-mill life as their parents – which is perfectly fine, of course, but still, they could have accomplished more if they had put more effort into it, or if their parents had encouraged them into exploring the world.

Anyway, in all those years, Mother Duck never stopped missing her son. From time to time, she wondered if she'd ever see him again and if he really had found his fame and victory in Oceanwood. She knew Oceanwood was a harsh place, after all… many ducks found their demise there. What if Xerxes wouldn't make it, like he had promised her he would… what if…?

BUT THEN.

ONE DAY.

A huge, gorgeous and top-hat-and-styling-cane-wielding swan strutted to the bank of the same old, smelly pond!

All the birds… well… they just stopped doing with whatever they did. I swear, some birds even fell right out of the sky – that's how big the impact, the mere sight of this grand, white bird was.

The other birds started to rattle and gossip with each other excitedly:

"Who is that?"

"What a stud…"

"I-I think I saw him in a movie once!"

"Damn."

"Damn."

"Damn."

"Damn."

"Dam—hic."

They didn't recognize the 'stranger' that had appeared in front of them – no, not even his father and siblings! – but boy, did they want to get to know him a bit better! However, how do you approach a magnificent bird like a swan – a superior kind of bird that wouldn't even think about living near a simple farmer's pond?

Well, like Mother Duck did, of course: she recognized her darling son right away and waddled towards him with open arms – I mean, wings.

"Xerxes!" she cried. "You are back!"

"Affirmative, dear mother!" Xerxes proudly said, puffing his broad, swany chest.

"But why?" his mother asked while he put a snow-white, tent-sized wing around her. "Why did you return to this rathole?"'

'Yea,' Wilhelmina nodded, 'why?'

She and the other kids all stared at me with bathed breathes. I, of course, enjoyed this moment for a little while, before putting Sofia down and standing up from the grass – very slowly, of course, for the dramatic effect – and carried on.

'There was only one reason why Xerxes the not-so-very-ugly-after-all swan would return to his annoying family and acquaintances… to rub his successful career and great looks into their ignorant, intolerant and close-minded noses! And also, to do a little taunting dance with his mother. It went something like this… wait, I'll do it for you… watch me!'

I broke down in a very silly, spastic dance, shaking my legs and arms, striking arrogant poses whenever it was possible and even flapping my arms at one point, just to make it clear to the kids that I now was Xerxes the Magnificent Swan and yes, I ruled, so hard, it almost hurt.

The kids were astonished at first, but then they all started laughing and jumped up, joining me in my – I mean, Xerxes' ecstatic dance of victory. I picked Wilhelmina up so that she, too, could 'dance', I let Mia grab my hand while she wildly danced next to me as well and I almost choked in my own laughter when I noticed Sofia shaking her butt to the max, while Guillermo shrieked 'LOOK, IMMA DOIN THE FISHMAN' and put on a straight face to cast an imaginary fishing rod's imaginary angle into an imaginary body of water. Apparently, he had seen his father, uncle and aunt dance too much.

René and León awkwardly hopped around me as well, not really certain what to do, but I grinned encouragingly at them and I guess that they, too, had a pretty good time 'dancing'.

And I kept dancing, and moving, and kicking the grass and doing other wild stuff, until I was absolutely certain that I had exhausted all of the kids enough to finally stop behaving like a total fucking moron.

But behaving like that wasn't a bad thing.

Not as long as I liked it, and especially not if my grandkids liked it, too.

\0o0/

About half a hour later, I was finally having the quiet-time I was originally looking for when I went to sit underneath this big, leafy tree: the kids had all fallen asleep, one by one, thank sweet god for that , and now it was finally my turn to rest at ease.

I let out a soft and most of all careful breath of air as I glanced around me.

Mia sat next to me and had nodded off against my arm, her own arms resting in her lap, her forehead still a bit sweaty.

Wilhelmina was still in my arms, her face cuddled against my chest, and Sofia had forced her way onto my lap as well, using my other arm as some sort of blanket.

Guillermo was laying on his back, his hands folded together as if he was praying, his head pressing down gently at one of my legs – the one he apparently had chosen as pillow.

The other boys, René and León, weren't napping with them: France had beckoned them to come over shortly after we had stopped dancing, and naturally, the boys – that adored him – had instantly abandoned me to sprint to their grandfather, leaving me and my own grandchildren behind so we could slowly but surely drift off in a comfortable sleep.

Yes, I was feeling I was getting pretty drowsy as well, really… that's one of the nasty side-effects of tiring children: you actually get tired yourself as well. That's the catch.

I didn't mind it at all, though.

I smiled, pulled both Wilhelmina and Sofia up some more, and closed my eyes, ready to visit dreamland as well…

'Are you comfortable like that?'

I groaned, opened my eyes again and looked at Antonio, crouching down in front of me with this 'oh my god look at you cuteness overload' – expression on his face that already annoyed me after two fucking seconds.

'I'm comfortable enough,' I muttered, even though the tree's hard surface wasn't comfy at all. 'Besides, it's not like I can move now, anyway…'

He shook his head. 'Nope, you can't. But I can move you. At least a little.'

I wanted to ask him what he meant with that, but then he gently pulled me forward a bit, put a big, red pillow behind my back, and put me back in place. Wilhelmina mumbled something in her sleep, but she didn't wake up.

I gave Antonio a thankful look, but he didn't see it – he was busy slowly picking Sofia up from me, placing another pillow next to me. I firstly thought that that pillow was for me as well, but he then slid down, the side of his hip touching mine as he wrapped our youngest granddaughter all up in his arms. Sofia woke up at that and blinked confusedly upon realizing she was lying in other arms, but when she noticed Antonio's bright smile, she goofily smiled back and dozed off again. She really was a very cooperative girl.

Now that he sat with me like this, I could finally give him this stupid smile I had been impatiently saving for him ever since he had come over to the tree, and I silently took a hold of his free hand. Antonio didn't say a word, he just opened his hand and enclosed it again when mine was in his.

We quietly sat next to each other for a while, watching Matteo and Raquel's wedding dance going on fifty, maybe sixty meters further up ahead. It was quite a distance, but I could still see how cute they looked, how happy they were and how mesmerized the invited guests watching them were.

'I don't get it,' I at a sudden moment commented.

Antonio, who had been listening to the soft music playing, opened his eyes and looked at me questioningly. 'What don't you get?'

'Come on – look at them.' I couldn't use any limbs right now, so I nodded my head into the dance's direction. 'They have been this lovey-dovey since day fucking one, they even made a child in the meantime, and then another one, and yet… they still waited so long to get married. Why?'

'I think Raquel's parents are the ones to blame,' Antonio said. 'They had a very shaky relationship. They got divorced when Raquel was a young girl. Blanca killed herself and Diego ran away. The poor girl didn't believe in a thing like love, not even in the form of our sweet Matteo. He needed to prove to her that love can work out, that people can be meant to be together, and that kids can become happy, with their parents. And as you see - this is the result of his hard work. His reward.'

I hissed softly. 'Shit – I keep forgetting she had such a crappy childhood.'

'That's good!' Antonio ensured me. 'I think she would feel honestly flattered if you told her that. She has made great progress over the years. I'm very happy for her, and for Matteo, and for all the kids they have. Or will have.'

I snickered. 'Yeah, seriously – that baby's going to be Matteo's third kid already. His third, Antonio!'

'What about Luisa's kids?' Antonio looked at the girl sleeping on my tummy and smiled. 'She got pregnant pretty soon after Guillermo was born. Boy, was she pissed about that – she finally got rid of her big belly and swoop – that Seb had to go and knock her up again.'

'Oh well, it's fine, right?' I said. 'She has a pretty decent job as a journalist now, and Seb's only getting fucking richer, that calculating asshole.'

'He keeps suggesting he wants to take them to the Netherlands one day.'

'Then I'll have to wring his little chicken neck one day.'

Antonio chuckled. 'I'm afraid that's up to you, yes – I still don't make a very dangerous impression on him…'

I squeezed his hand. 'Good for you.'

'Yeah.' He swallowed a tear or two and nodded. 'Indeed.'

I looked over to Venetia and Alejo, the two of them looking down happily at their firstborn kid.

'I'm so happy they managed to get one,' I said.

Antonio seemed to know what I was talking about and nodded again. 'Yeah – after her sickness, they told her they wouldn't be able to get a kid at all – she herself said it, even – but Vito just didn't agree with that.'

'Now let's hope that now Vito's born, their relationship will work out as well. I'm sick and tired of their on-again, off-again shenanigans…'

'Well, now that the main reason for their problems has been solved… I think that things will turn out okay, sweetie. Just give them some time.'

'You've proved yourself to be right about a big number of things in the past, so okay. I'll believe you.' I sighed and fluttered my eyes shut again. 'A period of sweet nothingness and peace would be nice…'

Antonio hummed and it seemed like he was going to be quiet and let me have a little nap, but then I heard he snorted at something.

I opened one annoyed eye. 'What.'

'Would you look at him,' Antonio said, without looking away from a certain something.

I exhaled huffily, but looked in the same direction he was anyway.

France and his two grandsons were playing tag on the grass, close by the festivities. France's whole face was red and swollen from sweating and running around so much, but he laughed, overjoyed when René and León chased after him. Looked like an exhausting dancing routine hadn't been enough to tire them.

'He finally has his family,' Antonio said.

'Just like we have, haven't we?' I mentioned. 'We're not alone. It's not just the two of us anymore. It won't ever be just the two of us anymore.'

Antonio stopped looking at France to put all his attention on me. His eyes were shining bright, giving me goosebumps in the best possible way. He leaned forward to my face and pressed a kiss on my lips – gently, tenderly, careful not to wake any of the kids up – and pulled back when I had eagerly answered his kiss.

'You can do the math, can't you?' he muttered.

'What?' I asked, panting softly.

'Papa Lovi! Papa Toni!'

We snapped out of it, turned our faces and realized that Luisa, Matteo and Alejo were waving at us.

'Come on, you damn lovebirds!'

'We're going to cut the wedding cake!~'

'And I'm going to eat ALL of it if you don't get here soon!'

'Coming!~' Antonio yelled back at them, immediately waking up all of the kids.

So we got up from the grass, dusted ourselves and the twerps off a bit, and as the grandkids, Antonio and I all walked over to our smiling children, hand in hand and miraculously revitalized, I eventually got what Antonio had meant to say just now.

After all… I could do the math.

\0ooo0oo0o/