Halo 4 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 7: Decomposer

lol the original chapter name was composer so i called it decomposer. HAHAHA! anyone? okay :,(

p.s. omg why do i keep keep saying sorry for the wait? i swear to God i'm a lazy piece of shit. BUT IM PROUD

The scene starts to an asteroid belt with a large planet in the background which has no fucking name. (343 needs to name planets) A Slipspace portal suddenly appears in the foreground and the Mantle's Approach comes out, along with several Covenant remnant Liches (bitches) and Danny Phantoms.

They all move away from the asteroid belt and did I forget they destroyed that astroid belt. (Asteroid Racism invented)

Cut to John Queef (which is Chief), under cover in one of the last Liches. (BITCHES! WHERE ARE MY BITCHES$$$$$$$$$$jejsjenkelsmwmem)

The shields protecting the ship from Slipspace fade away. (Like Jesus *chorus sings like a majestic fucking eagle*)

That's when Chief found out that there is a fucking station is under attack.

SPOILER ALERT everyone dies on that station :)

Humans always die in sci-fi stuff anyways.

Because they fuck up.

And when they fuck up, they die. (dumbasses)

Why should I give a shit?

Because I don't.

Now lets continue. :3

Chief made inside the Lich. (BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH :3)

He also took out all of the Elites piloting it.

He inserted Cortini tiny bitch and said, "This is Master Chief to base, do you read?"

Randomly and old fag...I mean hag spoke, "Yes! I hear you! This is Sandy Tillson of Fuckoff Station! We're under attack!"

Chief thought to himself, "More retarded names. Of course."

He continued "They're after a Forerunner artifact you took from the Gaylo ring."

WAIT...WAIT...hold on.

I thought it was Dahalo, ah whatever.

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STOP IT NEPTIN!

Okay now back to the story before this chapter goes to hell. (it already has *evil laughter*)

Dr. Tillson replied shocked, "How do you know that?"

Chief replied, "No time bitch! Protect the artifact until we arrive."

Dr. Tillson "dat old fuck" was about to say something, but Cortana decided to be a bitch.

Of course she can't help it because of her rampancy.

But we all use excuses.

Right?

Anyone?

Okay. :,(

Cortana says in a high pitched and distorted, "Do you know what that condescending bitch said to me after our first game of chess?"

Chief questioned, "What's chess?

She continues da faq bruh, "Even I don't call him by name anymore."

A red signal flashes on a fucking screen as the Lich (Bitch) flies toward the station on a collision course.

Chief decided to say, "Um Cortana? You need to correct your approach."

Cortana who didn't even listen to him said, "Yes, well he also said he works better alone."

The Lich flies dangerously close to the station with no deceleration.

The red signal continues to flash like a wet dick filled with soooooo much cum.

Probably a Sangheili's (Elite's) dick.

Why, why, WHHHHHHHHHHHHY DO I KEEP WRITING DISTURBING SHIT!

Anyways, she continues being a rotten egg bitch in the asshole.

Then the Lich crashed.

Later... . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. / / / / / '/.f 'f b/rf .b/.f/db. /vb/f.b. . . .s/dg.g

Chief wakes up and hears Cortana saying, "I'm sorry- I just… can't stop them!"

Chief get's up while his HUD flickers.

She continues, "It's like a thousand of me arguing all at once!"

Chief decides to say, "You must be having a gang bang with yourself."

He grabs his assault rifle, and his HUD clears up.

He questioned, "Doctor Tillson, are you there?"

She replied, "Oh, thank God! When your signal cut off I di-"

He ordered "Doctor, listen to me. You have to issue the order to evacuate the station."

"We've been trying! The Covenant… they've already taken over the landing bays!"

"Send me your coordinates. I'll see what I can do about clearing an evac route on my way to you."

John runs to the end of the landing bay then he came, where there are several supplies in crates then he came.

As he approaches the exit, the doors open while he came again.

A security guard, wielding a Sticky (lol) Detonator, is thrown violently against the wall as projectiles from a Needler kills him it "came" everywhere.

The explosive from the Sticky Detonator detonates, killing two Kig-yar (jackels) at the end of the hallway. (did I forget to mention that the Kig-yar came two)

John runs down the hallway and around some corners, arriving at another doorway.

It opens to a hangar.

That's right a hanger ooooooooooooooooohhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

A security guard is jumped by a Kig-yar and fucks the life out of the poor human.

Two scientists run past, attempting to escape.

You could hear one of the scientist say, "They're killing everyone!"

Well no shit.

I thought they were going to give us a bouquet of flowers and say yaaaaaaay let's have cross-species.

Oh Jesus no, not like the Mass Effect series.

Wait, this is Halo.

*annoyed face* Keep going off story, sorry guys.

Anyways chief finds the Decomposer and grabs a Mantis (Freckles), teabags a dead marine and defends the mother fucking Decomposer.

After he defended the Decomposer he decided to go back up to the elevator that I didn't even mention how he got down to the floor where the Decomposer is.

Chief starts the shitty looking elevator and Didact's ship takes the Decomposer while destroying the elevator.

So now the fucking elevator is stuck.

Chief ordered, "Bitch, I need you to raise Tillson and get me a status on the rest of the station."

Chief's HUD begins to flicker.

Cortana said shocked, "I can't believe he did that."

Chief yelled, "Hey fuckhead! I need that info!"

Cortana decided to be silent.

He sighs, calm for once, "Look…don't think about the Didact, don't think about the Decomposer. Only focus on finding me Tillson."

Cortana decided to be technical and shit, "Tillson, Sandra K. Female. 51 years of age. Doctor of Archaeology. A Prostitute...

Then the elevator somehow fixed itself and Cortana said, ""Got her. Biosignature stable on 350-level, B-deck."

Chief said nicely, "Thank you and fuck you Cortana."

Chief finds Tillson and Everyone sees the Decomposer charging up its cannons.

The Decomposer fires.

The scientists stagger from the blow, their skin already starting to flake off into units of data.

They all begin to collapse.

The camera "came" to a closeup on Tillson.

She screams in pain as her skin, muscles, and skeletal system are broken down into orange flakes of data.

Chief is unaffected, though his armor flickers orange as he collapses on the floor and blacks out while cumming.

He awakens sometime later, the staff now reduced to ashes. (little kid: HAHA)

Cortana is sitting on the pedestal, forlorn.

Vapor is rising from John's armor, as well as the ash piles that are all that remain of the scientists.

He wakes up, looks around, and gets up onto one knee and asks her to marry her.

Just kidding, that never really happened.

Cortana looks up at him, "Are you okay?"

Chief who didn't give a fuck gets up and says, "We need to move."

Cortana is very sad, "These people are gone."

Chief who still doesn't give a fuck says, "And more will follow if the Didact reaches Earth."

Cortana decides to change the subject, "They will pair you with another AI. Maybe even another Cortana model if Halsey lets them."

Chief looks at cortana, "Fuck no! I'm not dealing with another A.I. bitch.

She says, "You know it won't be me, right?"

Chief actually decided to stay silent for once.

Cortana got a Broadsword fighter and Chief got in it and they took off.

Yeah this chapter went to hell.

MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ! ! ! !

THANKS FOR READING I know "NEPTIN what took you so long" blame school