Chapter 5: You Can Never Be Lonely (late November, 1993)
It was just before 9:30pm on a Friday night. Sansa was sprawled out on the couch in the living room, covered in blankets to ward off the chill that was finally coming to Highgarden, and making her way through a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream when she heard the front door open. Shit. I specifically planned this out so I could just have one night to myself, she thought when she heard Theon's voice call from the door.
"Anyone here?"
"Just me."
He dropped his shoes off at the door and threw his backpack carelessly into the reclining chair next to the couch, then leaned against the half wall which divided the living room from the foyer. She grabbed the remote from the side table and paused the movie when she saw him standing there watching her. Sansa could read Theon Greyjoy like a drugstore paperback she'd paged through a hundred times. She could tell he was trying to figure out what was going on. It wasn't like her to be home on a Friday night at this hour, especially since she'd started to hang out with Margaery a couple nights a week and most weekend nights, either out with her friends or at the Stark house, just depending on where everyone was gathering. Sansa was initially hesitant at first, but after a couple movie nights at the Stark house both groups seemed to mesh together rather well.
"Didn't expect to see you here on a Friday night."
"Well, here I am," Sansa answered, looking away from the TV over to Theon and taking another spoonful of ice cream from the carton.
"Is Margaery sick or something?"
"No, she's not sick. She asked if I wanted to go out dancing with her and some housemates, but I said I was busy."
Okay, I've answered you, now please go somewhere else. I'd really just like to sit here and wait for Bette Midler to make cry sob more.
"What?" He asked, sitting down on the couch and clearly not listening to her inner pleas to leave. "You love dancing! Why the hell'd you do that?"
Sansa let out a large sigh, set the ice cream carton down on the side table and pulled the blanket up further towards her neck. "Because," she started, but an annoyed emphasis on the word, "I'm busy."
"Busy? You're hiding under a blanket with a pint of ice cream, watching Beaches, and sobbing. Don't think I can't figure this out, I've seen this all before. Now, you're gonna tell me what's makin' ya eat your feelings and then we're gonna fix it," he said, pulling both legs up on the couch before scooting closer to her and stealing some of the blanket.
"You're not gonna leave me alone until I spill it, are you?"
"Nope," Theon replied, shaking his head. "Come on, Red, you can trust me."
She knew she could. Everyone else would tell her that they wouldn't trust Theon Greyjoy farther than they could throw a truck, but he'd been there for her time and time again in the past. Sure, she was closer to her mom and Robb, but some things were better discussed with someone not related to you.
"I still haven't told anyone about when your friends made fun of you for never being kissed and you came to me, practically begging to help you out," he continued.
"I most certainly did not beg," Sansa said, and made as if she was going to steal the blanket fully back.
"Whatever. Still didn't tell anyone, did I?"
She smiled. "No, you didn't. And I'm glad it was you, not Joffrey."
"So, then, what's wrong with you and Margaery?"
"How can you just assume the problem is between Margaery and me?" she asked, turning to sit back against the arm of the couch and noticing the knowing look on his face. "Okay, fine, you're right. It's just that, I think it finally hit me how far gone I am. I don't think I've ever met someone I like as much as her. At first it was just great to have a friend, ya know, but now, I don't know why, but it hurts to even be around her. I can't be just friends with her anymore."
"Why don't you just tell her?"
"I can't, Theon. I wish it was that simple, but it's not. She's always talking about how happy she is now that we're practically best friends. She even asked me to spend winter break with her in Highgarden, and gods, I couldn't help it, I said yes."
"You know," Theon started slowly, "Sometimes it actually is that simple. She could feel the same way about you, even if she is saying all that 'best friends' crap. I know she seems like she's got herself all together, but she could be just as worried as you and what she's saying is just a load of bullshit to protect herself."
"I guess, but what if she isn't secretly pining away over me, huh? You know what happens then right, Theon? Jorelle Mormont situation all over again," Sansa said, holding her head between her hands and staring into the blanket covering her lap.
That was another one of the stories that Sansa had entrusted Theon with. She'd had such a hard time making friends when she started classes at Winterfell after leaving Mordane's, but the first group she tried to reach out to was the group of Mormont sisters. There was practically one in every grade it seemed. Arya had made quick friends with Lyanna Mormont, finding out that the young girl who matched her own wild and outspoken personality had parents who were old friends of the Starks and had named her after their own Aunt Lyanna. For Sansa, it had been all about Lyanna's next older sister Jorelle, the first girl she thought was actually reciprocating her feelings.
While she'd been at school at Mordane's there had been plenty of whatever normal experimenting that happened when there were no boys around and the girls were sort of left to themselves. Sansa had went to enough sleepovers and parties but never felt the pull to mess around as much as some of the other girls did. Jeyne would, she remembered. Gods, the detail that girl would go into, only to finish every sentence affirming that it was just messing around, she didn't actually like girls, she just wanted to know what to do when she got a boyfriend, and "hey, by the way, you think that Theon guy your brothers are friends with might like me enough to… well… you know…?" I knew myself better at least. Knew better than to fool myself and say I wouldn't fall head over heels for some prep school girl that was just curious. She had found herself dating Joffrey because he'd been nice to her at first, her parents approved of him and his family, and the long distance relationship had been a great distraction for any feelings she might have for any of the girls in her class, while not letting her actually get to close to Joffrey.
With the switch to Winterfell and the break-up with Joffrey, all the distraction she had quickly went out the window. She hadn't meant to start hanging around with Jorelle. They had the same literature class together and she knew that Arya often ate lunch with her and her sister.
Sansa was startled out of her memories, flinching when she felt Theon's hands on her shoulders. "This situation is totally different. She was straight. You know that Margaery likes girls. I think if you just give it time that she'll come around. She'd be fucking stupid to turn you down."
"Thanks, Theon. You're probably right - if this is going to happen then it will. Ya know, sometimes I don't know how you can be so obnoxious in groups but so sweet around me," she said, feeling herself begin to smile without really trying to.
"Don't tell Jon, but you've always been my favorite Stark," he said. "Well, after Robb that is."
Sansa laughed at that, forgetting for a moment that she was supposed to be upset.
"There. Can I take that to mean you're feeling better?" Theon asked, watching Sansa nod. "Good, because the night is young and you and I are going out. Pizza and karaoke, no buts, no refusing." He pushed the blanket off his lap and stood up from the couch, pulling the rest of the blanket off Sansa. "Get upstairs and put on something cute. If Margaery Tyrell shows up we wanna show her exactly what she's missing." He reached down and pulled her up by her arms, walking her towards the stairs. "Go!"
Hearing Theon's footsteps go off towards his downstairs room, she ran up the stairs and stood in front of her closet. Normally she would prefer more than the couple minutes that he was giving her to get ready to go out, but as she stared down her wardrobe she told herself she would need to make due. I'm not sure why I'm letting Theon drag me out with him, she thought, quickly kicking off her slippers and rummaging through her clothes to find something acceptable. He's got a point though. I can't let my feelings for her ruin anything, my life or hers. Worrying about it won't make it happen any faster... and besides, it's been too long since Theon and I have hung out, just the two of us. This'll be good for both of us.
She finally found something that caught her eye, changed, and did practically nothing to her hair, save for pulling it out of the Arya-style messy braid that it had been in, before heading back downstairs, only to be caught in that sort of stare she knew Theon gave her when he was thinking either about how much he wished she didn't play for the other team or how much he wished he was able to not think of her practically as a sister.
"Fuck, Sans. If Robb or Jon find out I let you out of the house dressed like that they'll murder me."
"What? You don't think I look good?" Sansa asked, taking a quick look at herself. Okay, maybe this did go a little overboard. She'd found a baby blue dress, if you could call it a dress. It was probably not much longer than some sweaters she owned and left no room for any imagination. Sansa couldn't remember why she'd bought it in the first place, aside from the color it definitely was not her normal style.
"No, no, that's not what I said -"
"You really think either of them are coming home tonight?" Sansa asked, finishing her walk over to where Theon was standing, stopping a few feet in front of him and placing her hands on her hips. She was already the same height as him barefoot and the heels she had on tonight made her able to look down at him.
"No, not with both Jeyne and Ygritte's roommates gone for the weekend—"
"Alright then, mister," she said, interrupting him, then looping her left arm through his left and pulling him towards the coat rack near the front door. "Don't wimp out on me here. You promised me a good night out, now let's get a move on before I lose my nerve!" With that, she grabbed her old leather jacket off the rack, pushed Theon's windbreaker into his arms, and led him out into the slightly chilly Highgarden night.
Everyone in Highgarden must have had the same idea as Theon had that night. The bars were packed, lines forming outside the doors. They gave up on the closest couple of bars before even setting foot in line, finally heading a little further into campus, stopping at Kneeling Man Inn for some pizza and then to a smaller bar that was full of townies on the weeknights, but attracted a good crowd of HPU students on Fridays and Saturdays with promises of cheap well drink specials and an enthusiastic karaoke night with a great emcee.
After splitting a pitcher, Sansa had finally worked up enough courage to sing some songs with Theon. They'd done this before, even if it was just in front of the Stark brood years ago, and compared to other lack-luster performances that nigh, the round of applause they would receive after songs was more than enough to spur Sansa on for more songs. She had the voice from years of singing lessons and the looks, Theon had the stage presence. Once they had made it through a couple of songs, they decided to end their karaoke streak with a particularly animated rendition of Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light", which was great for Sansa's somewhat innocent appeal and amazing for Theon's smarmy attitude, and they found themselves taking the seats of two people who had just got up from the main counter at the bar.
"Plenty of hot chicks here to help get your mind off her if you really wanted to," Theon said, seconds after they sat down and Sansa started peering around the dance floor.
"Hah! Easy for you, Greyjoy. I bet not one of these girls in here is interested in me over you."
"Course not. Everybody in here is interested in me, babe."
"Shut up, I'm serious. Not only do I have to find a girl that also happens to like girls, but I've gotta find one that thinks I'm hot."
"Alright, enough pity party," he started, nodding his head in thanks at the bartender and pushing Sansa's drink towards her. "This isn't the Sansa Stark that I like. The Sansa Stark that I know is the only freshman girl forward on the Highgarden hockey team. She's acing all her classes and she got hired at the first place she applied at. She's hot shit, beautiful, kissed by fire like Jon's wildling girl, and she's not gonna let some girl who doesn't know what's fucking good for her ruin her night out. Come on, let's dance."
She looked from the drink in her hand and back over to Theon. He means that, she realized. You know what? Who's to say that he's not right? I am actually pretty gods damn amazing… and if luck should have it and there is some girl here who might like me, she's certainly not going to be attracted to me if I'm sulking at the bar, commiserating into a pint.
"Alright," she said, standing up and taking a long drink from her glass so it wouldn't spill, "Let's dance." She smiled at Theon, probably one of her first genuine smiles she'd given him the whole time, and held her hand out, letting him lead her out to the dance floor.
A half hour later and they were both still out there. No one had approached either of them, everyone probably assuming they were a couple, but that wasn't bothering her. She was having a great time, dancing and joking with Theon, laughing about how they'd practically had a workout on the dance floor already.
He turned her around whenever he wanted to show her a new girl he thought was hot, and especially when he'd catch some other girl's eye who was sitting at the bar or dancing in a circle with her group of girlfriends.
"No, I don't think so, she's looking at me," Sansa replied, smirking and laughing, wondering if the yellow-haired girl was really staring at her, or Theon, or just in that general direction.
Oh shit, Sansa thought, looking over Theon's shoulder towards the entry to the bar. She was still in the middle of the dance floor with Theon, not paying attention to much else aside from the blaring top-40s dance music, not spilling the drink in her hand, and dancing ridiculously with him. He was a good partner for this – Jon was usually too serious and critical of pop music and Robb would've been too busy watching for any other man that happened to even look at Sansa for longer than a couple milliseconds to be any fun.
She saw Theon notice as her eyes grew wide and she moved so he was almost blocking her from view. It was Margaery, of course. Of course she'd come here. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why would we come to a bar that's for townies when she's damned townie? She watched as Margaery walked in the door, taking her ID back from the bouncer and replacing it into the little floral printed wristlet that Sansa had bought her when she'd aced her organic gardening midterm. Loras was with her, so was Renly and her cousins, and a couple of housemates.
"Theon, what do I do? She's for sure seen me by now and is gonna come over here... Gods, she'll know I lied about being busy. I'm so screwed. Might as well kill me now, Greyjoy, I'm done for anyways," Sansa scrambled to say. The words flew out of her mouth before she knew was she was saying.
"Hey, slow it down, kid," Theon said, resting both hands on her arms and trying to humor her a bit. "I've got plenty of practice making up excuses to pretty ladies on the fly. I got ya covered." He flashed what the group had come to think of as the "Theon Greyjoy is fucking up to something" smile and released Sansa's arms, leaving her to stare in horror as he enthusiastically waved and yelled for Margaery to come on over.
She stood in shock as Margaery noticed Theon and herself, threw on her signature high beams smile and casually walked over.
"Hey, Sans, didn't think I'd be seeing you around tonight. Weren't you locking yourself in at home with some reading for finals or something?"
Oh seven hells, she looks perfect tonight. She was dressed down much more than Sansa was, almost simply dressed in the same pair of skintight light-washed jeans she'd seen her in hundreds of times by now, but a new dark green tank top with spaghetti straps that fastened the entire length of the front with hook and eye closures. She carried a brown suede jacket over arm. You've got this Stark, she told herself. Her eyes are up there, don't act like Theon and think about undoing those hook and eye closures… come on, now's the time to use your words…
"Well, ya see, um... thing is..."
Shit, Sansa, you can do this. Form. A. Sentence.
"Sorry, Tyrell, looks like Red here's had a few too many blue lagoons to remember how to form complete sentences," Theon jumped in to say, saving her from her slow moving mind. "She was busy on some reading when I got back from work, but I had a real shit day and bugged her 'til she agreed to come get me drunk. Looks like she's the drunk now, though."
They both looked over at Margaery, who laughed and nodded at that. "Yea, sure is a cheap date, isn't she?"
"Hey!" Sansa exclaimed. "I'm still right here, guys!"
"Aww, don't be pissed, babe. It's just truth. You are a bit of a lightweight," Margaery replied smiling. Sansa could see Loras hiding his face in Renly's shoulder, trying not to laugh, probably remembering the number of early nights Sansa had at their house this semester.
Theon cleared his throat. "You mind if Sansa hangs out with you guys? She's probably tired of my ass by now."
"No, Theon, it's cool. I came here with you and all," Sansa said, turning to face him.
"Really, it's cool," he said, holding on to her arm for a moment and stressing those last two words. He was facing away from Margaery so only Sansa could notice the slight head nod and wink he gave her. "Besides, if I keep buying you drinks and dancing with you it'll be real fucking hard for me to make friends with that blonde at your 4 o'clock."
She processed that for a second, turning her head just slightly and recognizing the girl he'd pointed out earlier. Oh, so that's what angle he's gonna play. Well, he seemed to tell a convincing story to Mags so I guess I'll leave him to his own means to find whatever unfortunate girl gets to eat breakfast at our house tomorrow morning.
Margaery pulled her into a hug once Theon started to walk away, kissing the side of her face before letting her go. She does that to everyone, even Ygritte, so don't get excited. A second later she felt Margaery's arm go around her shoulders, leading her over to where her cousins and housemates had gathered at a large booth. She turned her head to look for Theon, shrugging when he sent her an exaggerated wink and approached the blonde girl.
The next morning, Sansa walked downstairs at entirely too early of a time to have closed out the bar with Margaery only a few hours earlier, but the sun had been streaming onto her face for the last fifteen minutes and pulling the covers over her head was no longer cutting it. She'd grabbed her pillow, letting it drag behind her, thumping down each step on the stairs, and tossed it onto the couch before turning into the kitchen. She was surprised to see Theon already in the kitchen, prepping up twin coffee cups and bowls of cereal.
"... so did you...?" Sansa asked, tilting her head to the side at Theon as she grabbed a coffee mug out of the cupboard. A boyish grin broke out on his face and he eagerly nodded his head. "The blonde?"
"That'd be the one. Or Bethany, at least I'm pretty certain that's what she said her name is," he explained, shrugging his shoulders and filling up Sansa's coffee mug. "How'd your night go with Margaery?"
"Really well," she replied quickly, but then saw the mischievous face that Theon was making. "No, sadly, not really well in that way... but still an awesome night. How about we talk later, okay? I'll give you the rundown. It'd probably be best if you rejoined your new little lady. I'd hate for her to think something was going on out here."
Grabbing her coffee, she started to walk out of the kitchen, but stopped to turn around. Sansa set the mug back on the counter and quickly walked over to Theon to wrap her arms around him in a hug. "I just wanted to say thank you," she started as she pulled away from him a few seconds later. "I think everything is going to turn out okay."
That's right, she thought, grabbing the coffee and walking out to lay on the couch, watch some Saturday morning cartoons, and probably fall asleep again within the hour. I'm certain everything is going turn out okay.
NOTE: Hi all :) Since we found out in the last chapter about Margaery's feelings, I thought it'd be good to give Sansa a chapter to explore hers. The song for this chapter might be bit harder to pick out, it's not as obvious as some, but it's "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows. The conversation between the singer and Mr. Jones in the song really reminded me of a conversation that could easily happen between Sansa and Theon. I've always had this headcanon that in modernAU's that they're bffs despite no one else really realizing it.
It's been a while since I updated this story, but I've got chapter six a little more than halfway done and we're jumping ahead to 1998 for that one. I also have chapter seven completely done. Chapter seven WILL be when we see how they finally get together.
Stick around and let me know if there are any little moments you want me to include.
Oh, and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Festivus, Winter Solstice, or whatever other December-time holiday you take part in!