DAY FIVE AM

MERLIN POV

Merlin had woken as he always did at seven, it was the time he had been woken when in the cellar. He looked around still surprised not to find himself looking at stone walls. He stared up at the white ceiling and wondered what had happened to all the people he knew, and why he couldn't go back to his room and had to stay here. Clutching this teddy and dragon to his chest he tried to get himself to calm down. Soon the man would be here to help him wash and dress, he had been doing that for himself for as long as he could remember. The man kept calling him Sir and bowing it confused him, why he wasn't the King. They had told him King Uther was dead, Merlin felt a tear coming, the King was the only one who had given him things and had loved him, but now they were telling him that he was a bad man. Merlin didn't understand what was happening to him.

Then there was the new King Afer, his brother and Gana his sister, why did they always look so sad? what was he doing wrong? When he bowed like he was supposed to, they got upset, and the other people they weren't the ones he was used to. Mithian wasn't like his old doctor all she did was talk to him and made him answer strange questions. Even the men were different, they were nice but called him Sir, and Gwaine was nice he smiled a lot and Elyan was kind but it confused him. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do anymore, he knew what to do with the others, and he wanted to go back even if the bed was softer and warmer.

Then Merlin remembered Lucy, the dog, she was nice he had seen pictures of doges before but she felt good to touch, warm and soft. He didn't mind touching her, but it was wrong all this touching and hugged the people wanted, he shouldn't it was bad, touching hurt, he wasn't sure when they would hurt him. Merlin was just about to get up to use the toilet when the man Morris came in. Merlin tensed up, he hated this he just wanted to be alone.

Morgana was up even earlier than normal, she was looking forward to letting Merlin see outside, although apprehensive both Arthur and she had high hopes it would go well. Having Morgause about was a help, she at least had someone to talk things through with, Morgause also made her think of other things. The four of them had spent the evening playing cards which had been relaxing. They had also about Mordred and Freya as companions for Merlin. Both were at Oxford so wouldn't be available in term time but Arthur decided to approach their parents first anyway to see if they could visit so Mithian might assess them. From what he remembered he wasn't sure about Freya, as she had always been very timid and fragile. Mordred was a more robust sort, the last thing they wanted was to cause someone else problems.

Arthur and Morgana turned up for breakfast at Merlin's room to find him sitting at the table. He looked so lost still, and tense, both wondered when he would start to relax with them. As he saw them he stood up and bowed, then seeing their faces drop he sat down again and wouldn't meet their eyes. As Morris brought in their breakfast Merlin had this cooked breakfast as did Arthur but Morgana had a bowl of cereal. Merlin had always had cereal before and he looked at it then looked at his food. Merlin picked up his plate and offered it to Morgana thinking there had been a mistake. "Yours"

Morgana smiled at Merlin "That's yours Merlin, this is all I want thank you, the doctors want you to have a good breakfast to help you put on weight, eat up"

That puzzled Merlin who looked at himself, no one had said that to him before. But he did as he was told. During the meal Arthur and Morgana talked about the garden and then asked Merlin if he could remember seeing 'outside'. As they finished eating Morgana got a book from beside her and opened it and showed Merlin some pictures. "Do you remember playing outside in the garden?"

Merlin shook his head, he sort of remembered something but he had seen pictures before. "Would you like to see the garden?" Arthur asked him smiling once more.

Merlin realised that the King clearly wanted him to say yes so he did, that made both of them smile. "Then you shall" Morgana told him.

With that Mithian came into the room and curtsied before joining them. Morris can and cleared away the breakfast and then another footman came in and moved the table and chairs into the middle of the room. Merlin was now totally puzzled. Arthur took on of Merlin's hands and Morgana the other as Mithian slowly pulled back the curtains. Merlin frowned but his expression changed as he saw it wasn't a wall behind then but what he thought was a big picture. He took a step closer, then realised that something was moving in the 'picture' he could see Lucy and two other dogs with a man and a woman.

Merlin heard Arthur talking. "That's our garden and our friends taking the dogs for a walk. Do you remember the garden now?"

Merlin walked closer and took his hand out of Morganas and held it out until it touched the glass. There was a look of wonder on his face. "So big" he whispered "So much room"

Merlin continued to stare out of the window unable to take his eyes of it. Mithian was relieved she had wondered if he might get panicked and have a degree of agoraphobia, she had arranged for him to have a small dose of Diazepam with his anti-epileptic pills that morning to help calm him just in case. She had also asked Arthur to arrange for Lucy to be outside as a focus for Merlin. Merlin by now had both hands against the glass.

Arthur went to the door and asked Gwaine to give him a hand and they moved the small sofa to the window so Merlin could sit down. Gwaine smiled as he saw Merlin's reaction. The young man had tears slowly falling down his face, but they were clearly tears of joy. Arthur got Merlin to sit down and sat with him as Gwaine carried an armchair for the Princess. Mithian looked at the group "I'll leave you for now, I'm glad it went so well, please call me when you need me"