a/n: Okay I'm pretty sure Piz said he lived in Beaverton Oregon, so that's where Veronica's going to live tooJ I've never actually been there though… so please don't kill me if I get any details wrong.

"I'm going home today," Veronica announces at breakfast Friday morning, and Piz looks up at her in surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, and Veronica waves her hand back and forth like it's unimportant.

"It's for a case," she says absently, "And speaking of… I need your help with something."

Piz looks disappointed, but replies regardless, "Sure."

"So this weekend, I need to get something from my Dad's safe," Veronica explains, "And Logan's going to pretend to be my boyfriend to distract my Dad."

"Why Logan?" Piz asks, "I mean, I understand why I couldn't – but couldn't you have asked like Wallace or something?"

"It's for Logan's case," Veronica explains, "And don't even ask. I can't tell you what it's about, but it's the most important…" she trails off for a moment, memories of her last big case flashing through her mind. "It's the most important one I've done so far," she says again, more confidently.

"So why do you need my help?" Piz asks, his eyes turning down towards the table.

"We both know my Dad is going to call and ask you about him, so I need you to tell him all about how awesome Logan is," Veronica winces, "I know it's not up your alley –"

"No it really isn't Veronica," Piz says, but he just sounds tired. " But when is anything you ever ask for simple?"

Logan chooses that moment to drop into the chair next to Veronica. "Hey Piz," he greets warmly, "Are you going to help us?"

"Apparently so, although I don't know with what," Piz says, rolling his eyes.

"Well I'll tell you," Logan says easily, and Veronica stares at him agape. "You guys have been friends forever right? I don't want to get in-between your little BFF bonding time. So I'll tell you, Veronica is helping me find out who killed my girlfriend," he says all the words with amusement, like this whole situation is funny, but Veronica can see the pain and anger in his eyes. "I'll pick you up after your class Ronnie," he finishes, and walks out of the cafeteria.

"Well that's just great," Veronica says, throwing down her spoon and glaring at Piz.

"His girlfriend was killed?" Piz is looking considerably less annoyed, instead something like sympathy crossing his face.

"Yes, and that's why I want to get this case solved," Veronica says, "and I didn't really think I could tell you. So next time you complain about me hanging out with Logan, just remember that." Veronica stands up, "Can you take care of my breakfast tray? I'm going to go and try to talk to him."

"Sure," Piz says, the most amicable he's been all year.

Veronica dashes outside the dining hall, "LOGAN!" she yells, running to catch up to him. He turns around, his brown eyes blazing.

"Don't you have to get back to your breakfast date?" he snarls, anger and sarcasm ringing through every syllable. He looks angry, frustrated, and it fills him, his every muscle quivering.

"Look I'm sorry about Piz," Veronica says, "He's just protective." To her surprise, Logan laughs bitterly.

"Are you really that blind Veronica? Well I won't be the one to say it for the poor bastard."

"What's gotten into you?" Veronica asks, "Because if you're serious about this, you need to clean up your act." Her words make him flinch, and a shudder runs through his body.

"You're right," he says, mostly to himself, "I need to cool down. It just – I don't normally – most people know she's dead I haven't actually – don't know –"

"It's okay," Veronica reaches out to touch his shoulder, but he flinches away.

"I'll pick you up after your last class," he repeats, and she watches as he turns and walks away.

.

.

.

It's a whole new Logan after her last class; he greets her with a smile and offers to carry her bag. It's only after she catches the whiff of alcohol on his breath after he leans in a little to close that she realizes why.

"Give me the keys," she says firmly, holding out her hand. He looks at her, confused. "My Mother was an alcoholic Logan, I know how to tell when someone's drunk. Give me the damn keys so I can drive you. And you better hope you're pretty fucking sober when we get to my Dad's house."

Logan looks at her in surprise, probably because he's never heard her swear. Normally she doesn't, she doesn't like the way the words taste on her tongue. Right now though, she's furious, a burning anger that's spreading through her body like wildfire.

"Are you angry Ronica?" he asks, and there's a slight slur to his words as he follows her to his car. She climbs in the drivers seat, and barely waits for him to climb in the passenger seat before she starts up the car.

"What do you think Logan?" she demands angrily, "I thought you understood. I thought your Mother drank and yet here you are, drowning your sorrows in liquor. Did you even think for a moment what that might mean?"

"Mean to who?" he asks, obviously confused.

"To me," she snarls, "I watched my Mom drown her sorrows through a bottle one to many times, and my Dad always pretended like everything was fine even when she couldn't stand on her own two feet, even when he found her in the bar on a Monday night – so yes Logan. It matters to me if you have drinking habits."

"I just—" Logan begins as they pull onto the highway, "It caught me off guard this morning and I wanted to be happy." His words are hollow, lonely.

"That's not the way to get happy," she says firmly, "Getting drunk or high isn't a cure for feeling sad, it just enhances it. Believe me – I've tried it before too. And I'm guessing you have as well, but apparently you didn't come to the same conclusion as I did."

"My Mom always sat in the other room with a bottle of wine or vodka or whatever we had in the house," Logan says, "While my Dad—" he breaks off and starts again, "While my Dad always worked. I didn't exactly have the best examples. This is what I learned Ronnie. That's all."

"There's more to it though, isn't there?" Veronica demands, her eyes not leaving the road. "There's something you're not telling me, some secret you're keeping."

"Some secrets are better kept to ourselves," Logan says, "Because don't act like you're all high and mighty, Miss Perfect, when I know you have one too," he leans over, and she can smell it on his breath, but also she can smell the woodsy smell she's always associated with Logan, and it almost calms her down. Almost. "It's probably a really dirty secret huh? Something you don't want to share? What's the thing that's fucked up about you?"

"And what makes you think I'm fucked up like you are?" Veronica shoots back, and Logan flinches.

"Because of the look in your eyes when you're angry," he says, "Because you're like me. You're on edge Mars, you don't trust people – you lie. You surround yourself with safe meaningless people because it makes you feel better. The fucked up people always find each other in the end."

"Is that why you asked me for help?" Veronica asks, as they cross the Neptune borderline. "Because I'm fucked up?"

"So we've stopped denying it?" Logan asks, but there's no amusement in his voice, "And to answer your question, I didn't know you were fucked-up until you yelled at me about drinking. I thought you were safe. Meaningless."

"And what am I now?"

He hesitates, and then replies, still a slight slur to his voice, "You're dangerous," he whispers, and then falls silent. Veronica turns on the radio and turns it up even though she hates the song, just to fill the silence.

.

.

.

When they arrive to her Dad's house, Logan is asleep. He's been asleep for the last couple hours, and Veronica is grateful. Not only will it help him sober up, but it gives her time to think. She quite honestly didn't think that Logan would see her like for what she really was, because no one else had. She had almost managed to convince herself that the real her was just a dream, that she wasn't fucked-up, that she was normal.

She pauses for a moment, leaning her forehead against the steering wheel and taking deep, controlling breaths through her mouth. She could feel the frustration building deep inside her – frustration and fear. No one had seen the real her before, and now Logan had stripped her down, and even though she hadn't told him what happened to her, and she didn't know his secret, she felt like he had stripped her down to the bone, to her very core.

She quivers slightly, shaking with barely contained tears as flashbacks tear through her brain. Not even Piz or her Dad knew what really happened that week that she went missing, and she can't hold it in any longer. She wants to do a mixture of screaming and crying, and a fierce anger builds up insider at Logan. He couldn't just leave it alone, couldn't let her just keep going on in denial. He had to prove what she was trying to disprove. He had to bring back everything that had happened.

She snatches a glimpse at Logan; his head tipped back, his eyes closed. He looks years younger in his sleep, like all the stress and worry has evaporated from his body. He looks peaceful.

"Logan?" she says softly, and he doesn't budge. Not really concerned with being nice, she shoves him in the side.

"Dad -I swear I didn't do anything!" he cries, his eyes flying open. He's in a state of distress for a couple more seconds, and then quickly realizes his surroundings and calms down, his chest pumping like a metronome.

"Your guilty conscious is bleeding into your dreams," Veronica observes dryly, and Logan let's out a bitter laugh.

"You know, if we're going to pretend like we're in love Ronnie, you'll have to stop being angry at me."

"I'm not angry."

"Yes you are."

"Well Logan you're just full of insightful things on all things Veronica Mars aren't you? First you point out what a major fuck up I am, and then you determine my moods! What can't you do?" she steps out of the car and slams the door.

"Veronica I'm sorry about what I said earlier, it's not true I just was –"

"But that's exactly why I'm angry!" Veronica says, turning around. "Because you're right Logan. You're right. I'm fucked up. But so are you." She stalks towards her Dad's house, and doesn't bother to see if Logan's following.

She only notices when she raises her hand to knock on the door and Logan slips his fingers through the other hand, and she can feel the quivering in his fingers. She knows that she should talk to him some more, but if there's something she does well, it's running from things she doesn't want to do. She slams her hand, hard, against the door.

"This should be fun," Logan says as they hear footsteps approaching the door. Veronica turns to him, glaring.

"Don't screw up," she says, "This could be our big break."

The door swings open, and they are looking at a surprised Keith Mars.

"Veronica?" he questions, and Veronica turns off all her angry emotions like a tap. She forces a bright cheery smile, and bounds into her Dad's arms.

"Surprise!" she calls happily, hugging him tightly. He's obviously surprised, but she doesn't give him time to react before she's pulling away and taking Logan's hand again. "I just really wanted you to meet my new boyfriend, Logan!"

Logan smiles, "I actually think we've met before Sugarpuss," he says in a goofily happy voice, "But I can't really think from when."

"Me either," Keith lies, but his eyes are wary. Veronica stiffens, so now he's lying her to even still. What was he trying to hide?

"Oh well," she says brightly, stepping into the house. "We're here to stay for the weekend! I wanted to show Logan around my home town since he's never been here before."

"Of course," Keith smiles, "I'll just order some food for us all? Pizza?"

"Yes please," Logan nods, "Just nothing with shellfish."

"Who makes shellfish pizza?" Veronica inquires, "Well Dad while you do that, I'm going to have Logan set down his stuff in my room."

Keith Mars is still in a trance, probably shocked by the fact that his daughter has just shown up on his porch, carting a boy who he interrogated for murder two years ago. She doesn't care though, she's angry with him. She's so angry with him that she forgets to be angry with Logan for a moment, and as soon as they enter the safety of her room she flops down on the bed, closing her eyes tightly. Logan hesitates at the edge of her bed.

"Ronnie?" he asks, and she ignores him. A couple minutes pass, and he tries again. "Ronnie?"

"What?" she asks, "What can you say to make this better?"

"I was drunk?" he offers up, "I didn't mean to say it like that. What I meant was that you got me, that you understood the pain I felt inside somehow. That's what I was thinking anyways, but fucked-up came out."

"Do you wonder why my Dad is so surprised that I brought home a boyfriend?" she sits up, her blue eyes seeking Logan's brown ones. He meets her's with a surprising openness. She doesn't give him a chance to reply but instead continues – "Or why I left this sorry little town? Why I'm so fucked-up? Because you and I both know that having Mother's who drown their sorrows isn't enough to make you as fucked-up as we are."

"Can we use a different choice of words?" Logan murmurs, "It's like hearing a cute little girl swear."

Veronica continues like she never heard him, "And maybe I'll tell you someday. Maybe I'll tell you and you'll feel pretty damn awful about what you said to me, but for right now I'm letting it go."

"You're what?"

"I'm letting it go. I'm forgiving you for what you said," she says, and pretends like it's easy to forgive him when in fact it's the exact opposite. It's like pulling something out of herself and leaving it bare and naked for him to see. "Because I'm angry at my Dad and I don't need to be angry at you too. Besides, you just inadvertently called me cute."

Logan blushes, "That wasn't what I—"

"No more serious talk," she says, planting one of her fingers on his lips. She's automatically distracted because oh sweet lord she's touching his lips which is so awkward and –"DID YOU JUST LICK ME?!"