A/N: A special thanks to addictedtolove92 and LivCassidy for critiquing these last two chapters!

There was a collective gasp, as Nick and Olivia tore themselves apart from each other. Nick banged the back of his head against the window. Olivia zipped up her coat with lightening speed, smoothed down her hair and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Both greedily sucked air into their oxygen-deprived lungs. Fortunately for them, they were in an undercover squad car with tinted windows; they could see out, but no one could see in. He could make out Amanda's ponytail and silhouette through the glass. Dammit, Rollins. Your timing couldn't be any worse. Nick put his hand over his racing heart and tried to calm himself down. He looked over at Olivia's still flushed face. His eyes scanned hers, looking for anything that resembled regret, when Olivia suddenly turned her head from him and looked straight ahead. Awesome, he thought, This isn't going to be at all awkward once Amanda leaves. Nope, not one bit.

"Ready Liv?" he asked, with his finger on the window button; she gave a firm nod, her head still facing forward.

He sighed and rolled down the window.

"Damn Amaro, took you long enough. Did I interrupt your beauty sleep?" she smirked and peered inside the cruiser. Nothing looked out of the ordinary inside the car. She looked from Nick to Olivia. The tension in the air was palpable. Olivia flashed her a forced smile, and Nick looked normal, cranky, but normal.

To a casual onlooker, the redness in Olivia's cheeks, appeared to be related to the weather—but not to a detective. Olivia wasn't shivering, and she didn't look cold. In fact, Amanda could have sworn that she saw a thin sheen of sweat across her hairline.

"Your diner angel comes bearing paninis, hot soups and coffee from the java gods" she said, giggling at her own joke. Nick just glared at her.

"I would've thought you two would have ripped the bags from my hands and gone into a feeding frenzy by now. Instead I just get the stink eye," she said motioning to Nick.

Nick realized what an ass he was being. It wasn't Amanda's fault that she had picked the absolute worst moment to deliver their food. Food that he asked her to bring. He fixed his face into a smile.

"Sorry, Amanda. Trust me, I'm very grateful for the hot food and coffee. It's just before you came by I was...taking a nap." Well, that was partially true, he thought. I was laying in a horizontal position.

"Yeah, I was about to ask you what happened to your face," she pointed to the welt on his cheek.

"Fell asleep on the seat belt buckle. Occupational hazard," he joked, remembering how he really got the welt. He gave Olivia a sly look. She made brief eye contact with him, before resuming her original position.

"Okay, well I'm going to go and let you two get back to whatever it is that I...interrupted," she said.

Nick's eyes widened slightly. Oh Shit! Did Rollins suspect something? He decided to play it cool—a little too cool—and rolled his eyes, feigning irritation. "You didn't interrupt anything. What could possibly be going on between us right now? In case you hadn't noticed, we're on a stakeout."

Amanda squinted at him and cocked her head to the side. "No need to get your panties in a bunch, princess. It was just an observation. There's a strange vibe between the two of you that wasn't there before you left the precinct." Amanda said, emphasizing the word 'before.' Her subtlety was as smooth as a train wreck. "It's none of my damn business anyway. It's just an-"

"Yeah, I know. An observation." Nick retorted.

This time Amanda turned and narrowed her eyes at him, her anger boiling over. "Look, Amaro" she spat, "If I knew that I was going to get lip from you, I would've taken my tipsy ass home instead of freezing it off doing you a favor. If you want to act like a prick, do so on your own watch—not on mine."

Nick winced at her sharp tongue. He knew he had to tone his attitude down; Amanda had a temper that rivaled his when provoked. The last thing he need was two angry female detectives on his hands. He stole another sideways glance at Olivia, but she remained stoic and frozen. He put up his hands to surrender. "OK Rollins, you win. I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't even be here if I hadn't called you."

That seemed to be the answer Amanda was looking for, and she smirked, "Damn right, Amaro. Now if you kids will excuse me, it's time for me to sleep off my impending hangover. Later y'all." She waved at Nick and Olivia and fled down the street as fast as her high heels could take her.

Nick sighed and felt the awkwardness creep in. Just the two of us. "Liv, I-"

She put her hand up and silenced him; her lips drawn in a tight line. "What happened earlier shouldn't have. You're my partner. It was wrong and it doesn't go further than this. Agreed?"

Nick hated how easily she could slip into "cop" mode. It was infuriating how cool she was, like he hadn't been in between her legs, grinding against her less than a half hour before.

He could have just agreed and gone along with the ruse, but he decided not to punk out. "Liv, you're just giving the acceptable answer, the predictable answer that's supposed to bring the both of us to our senses. Well, I don't want to come to my senses. I want to finish what we started."

Olivia envied how easily Nick could express himself. Men often had a hard time expressing their feelings. Nick had a hard time keeping them to himself.

Even if she wanted to take Nick up on his offer—and she did—Olivia was a consummate professional and a master of self-denial.

"Nick...I just can't. I've dated colleagues in the past. Remember Cassidy? Well when I first started with SVU, he and I had a one night stand. Let's say just say the awkwardness stayed with us, even after 13 years. And you know how Haden and I turned out. So far I'm 0-2 and I'm not stepping up to the plate anytime soon."

"So you're not going to admit to it?"

She frowned, looking confused. "Admit to what?"

Nick eyed her. She wasn't going to make this easy. "Admit to the fact that you're just as attracted to me as I am to you."

"And what exactly will that confession accomplish?" she put back at him. "Will it prove that you're every bit the stud that you think you are? That you're smooth enough to seduce your partner."

Nick gritted his teeth. "Excuse me? If I recall correctly, you sure as hell didn't pull away or try to stop me!" he spat.

"You're right Nick, I didn't. And I also can't erase the fact that our tongues were down each others' throats, but what will admitting or denying anything really accomplish?"

"It would prove that you don't always have to play by the rules, Liv. That you don't always need to be so damn perfect."

The last sentence was more abrasive than he intended. Olivia flinched at his words, and Nick groaned at her reaction.

"I didn't mean to come off so harsh."

"No, Nick, you're right. I have a tendency to hide my flaws behind a polished image. It's a learned behavior," she said, her voice laced with bitterness.

Nick looked up and saw a frown cross her face. He knew she was talking about her childhood. Olivia rarely mentioned her childhood or her mother. Nick could relate; his childhood was far from a Norman Rockwell painting. While his abusive father was his bogeyman, his mother meant the world to him. Nick got the feeling that Olivia didn't have support from either of her parents. He focused his attention back on her.

Olivia could feel the heat of Nick's gaze, and almost stopped herself from talking. She didn't like talking about her mother, especially when there was such a captive audience, even if it was an audience of one. But Olivia wanted to let Nick in, much like he let her in, and though she dreaded the subject, she knew it would come up in one of their conversations sooner or later. She wrapped her hand around the car door handle for support.

"I learned from an early age to be invisible. To stay perfectly still, so as to blend into the background and not to disturb my mother. My mom was an alcoholic, and I mostly kept myself hidden, not so she wouldn't hear me, but so she wouldn't see me," her voice was on the verge of breaking.

Nick could tell by how tightly she gripped the door handle that she was trying to stay in control of her emotions. Her knuckles were almost white.

He appreciated her being more open with him, but he didn't want her to break down, like she had earlier. He didn't think either one of them—especially her—could take it. He reached for her hand, much like she had earlier, and gave it a light squeeze in a show of support.

She didn't look at him to acknowledge the gesture, but squeezed his hand back as a 'thank you.'

"My mother drank to forget the worst night of her life; one of the worst crimes that can happen to a woman. The only problem was that I was a living, daily reminder of what she wanted to erase."

She turned and searched Nick's eyes, looking for anything that resembled an understanding. She was hoping that he could read between the lines, that she wouldn't have to come out and say it. Even after all these years, revealing that she was a child of rape never got any easier.

Nick, however, looked as confused as ever. She sighed. It looked like she'd have to come clean. And you call yourself a detective, Amaro?

"My mother was raped, Nick. And I was born nine months later." She averted his gaze, but tightened her grip on his hand.

The light bulb went off in Nick's head. This explained so many things about Olivia. Her visceral hatred of rapists. Her strength, her deep empathy for the victims, the endless walls that she built to protect herself. And most of all, her longevity in the department. Her conception had shaped her life, her personality, her purpose.

He turned so he was facing her; she never released her hand from his, but she still refused to look at him. Her left thigh was going up and down at a mile a minute. He swallowed hard and fought the urge to still that thigh with his hand.

"Liv, there is no need to feel ashamed. I don't think of you any differently."

She turned to look at him. Yeah, I've heard that before, she thought, but she wasn't convinced of people's words. You can mask the truth in your speech, but not in your eyes—never in your eyes. She searched his like a hawk scanning the terrain for prey. On the rare occasion that she told her tale of woe, she was usually met with an array of emotions from people, ranging from pity and shock to revulsion. Friends, even lovers reacted in the same way. Of course their voices didn't reveal how they felt, but their eyes always betrayed them.

But Nick's eyes weren't filled with pity, only empathy. It was if he understood. She hoped that was how he felt, and not just what she wanted to see. Her eyes fell away from his for a second time.

She soon got her answer. He placed his finger beneath her chin and tilted her head up. "You are more than your DNA, Liv. You're an amazing woman and a bad-ass cop. You turned a childhood that would have crippled most people into a mission to take men like your father off of the streets and champion for victims like your mother. I get it, because every time we take an abusive husband or boyfriend off the street, it's like I'm saving my mother from my father all over again."

Olivia eyes widened; she had no idea about Nick's childhood. She squeezed his hand and rubbed her thumb along his knuckles. "I guess we all have our demons. Sometimes I need to be reminded of that," she smiled at him.

He gave her a sheepish grin of his own. "Yeah, we all need a reminder every now and then. You're not alone, Liv. We're all a little fucked up to varying degrees. The only people with perfect childhood's and families are the people on television."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Sometimes, I...I just wish that I had a positive male influence in my life growing up. My mother thought the absolute worst about men, and she raised me to believe they were no good. A male role model would've given me a chance at a healthy relationship with men. The longest relationship I ever had with a man had no chance of a romantic ending."

Nick bristled at the mention of her former partner. "How long were you and what's his name partners, again?"

"His name is Elliot Stabler. And we were partners for 12 years before he went MIA."

"I don't care what his name is, he's a fucking prick for abandoning you like that."

Olivia's eyes burned with anger, "Hey, you don't get to talk about him like that. Yes, he's a first class asshole for how he left, but he was a good man and a good partner. He was my best friend for over a decade and besides this job, he was the only constant in my life. He gave me the stability that I never had growing up."

Nick's animosity towards Elliot softened at her words. "Were you in love with him?" he asked and felt a pang of jealousy.

Olivia sighed and looked down at her hands. She wasn't even sure what the answer to that question was anymore. At one point she thought she was, but then again, how hard is it to feel that way about someone when you know nothing will ever materialize? Deep down, she always felt more of a brother-sister bond with Elliot more than anything else.

"I thought I was. I convinced myself that it was love at one point, but it was never more than platonic. In a lot of ways my relationship with Elliot helped me and hurt me with men. With him, I learned to form a close, trusting bond with the opposite sex, but our partnership never allowed me to pursue a relationship. Our bond was very co-dependent, and he often intruded in my personal life. Sometimes he ran background checks on my boyfriends."

Nick laughed. "Wow, what a psycho," but inside he breathed a sigh of relief that her feelings for her former partner didn't run deeper.

She shook her head. "No, not a psycho, just over protective. But for a while he was one of the few people that had my back. And I'll always love him for that."

"Seems like Stabler got some things right, but there's one lesson that I'll teach you that he never could."

Olivia raised an eyebrow and a smirk spread across her face. "Oh, and what's that?"

He released her hand and brought his hand up her arm; the blistering heat of his palm caused her skin to shiver. He looked into her eyes, "I'll teach you that not all men run," he said with conviction. He looked at her face and saw a flicker of hope dance across her eyes. He cupped her neck and brought her face down to his, claiming her mouth for the second time that night.