Home, shower, sleep.

This is my mantra for the week so far.

I said it when I went to school, kept my eyes downcast, and didn't talk to anyone.

That was easy since no one tried talking to me either. I guessed Adrian and his friends had something to do with that. Even the teachers seemed to ignore me more than usual.

It was like everyone knew what happened but they were taking Adrian's side.

It wasn't until fifth period when I realized no one was talking to me because of what I did. Everyone was still mad at me for what I did two weeks before. Even when I caught Lissa's eye in the hall, she stared at me kind of apologetically before turning back to her locker and then walking away.

I was more alone than ever.

I didn't have many friends to start with but I had some, people would say hi. I knew that most people were only friendly to me because of Adrian but I didn't care. It was nice being noticed. Now I had no one.

I sat through nutrition and lunch alone chanting my mantra to myself: home, shower, sleep.

It was all I really felt like doing.

It was becoming my pattern.

My mom gave me enough money to take the bus instead of walking. She thought that Adrian and I were in a fight but she didn't push me on it. I didn't talk much when she did. She made me promise to take the bus to the self defense class and then straight home before it got too dark.

I thought about not going and lying to her.

I lied easily before. Another lie wouldn't hurt.

I went home, showered, but couldn't sleep, knowing I'd have to lie later. I shut my eyes, trying to block everything out but whenever I was alone for too long which was always lately, I couldn't stop thinking about that night, every detail.

So I ended up going to the class.

I figured I'd slip into the class and just watch from the sidelines but the second I walked in, the instructor, an extremely tall man dressed in sweatpants, a black t-shirt, sneakers, and his long hair pulled back, noticed me and gestured for me to sit with the small group of people he was already speaking to in the middle of the room.

Most were women, middle aged, but there were a few kids. Apparently this was also a karate class for youngsters. There was even a kid from my English class here. He smiled and winked at me. He was one of Adrian's friends, Charlie.

I thought about fleeing. Turning around and running home. Home, shower, sleep. I couldn't seem to make my feet move though. The instructor would flick his gaze to mine every few seconds.

I kept my eyes down until he was finished talking, called his assistant Christian to separate groups and start the class, before he walked over to me.

This man was even taller up close.

He gave a gentle smile and held a hand out. "I'm Dimitri Belikov."

I didn't take his hand. Any physical contact made me flinch. I flinched. He noticed and dropped his hand.

"You must be, Rose. My mother told me you might be coming in."

His accent was as thick as his mothers and I could see the resemblance. He had the same deep brown eyes as her and slightly curly dark hair without the gray streaks. He looked pretty young.

He waited for me to respond.

I finally swallowed past my dryness, having not spoken the entire day except to my mom on the phone to tell her I'd be coming to the class. "Yeah, I'm Rose."

I spoke low, even to my own ears but he heard me.

"Well, It's nice to have you here Rose and I'm hoping the class will have enough of an effect on you today to ensure you come back again. Let's get you registered."

He started walking toward an office area and it took a moment for me to follow. I caught up to his long strides by having to practically jog which only made my constantly aching legs and limbs hurt even more.

"So, why do you want to take self defense?" he asked as we made our way tot he office area.

I felt uneasy, being secluded with some random huge guy. I looked behind me to make sure the rest of the class was in plain view.

"I-I don't," I answered simply.

He raised one eyebrow.

"My m-mother's making me take this class. She and the cop thought it'd be better if I did."

It was the longest sentence I'd spoken since the hospital. He nodded seeming to accept my reason.

"It is good to take self defense. Is there a specific event that's brought you here?"

"You're mother didn't tell you?" I hadn't meant for the words to sound harsh but the smile from before faded as he puled out registration forms for me to fill out. I was still standing as he sat behind his desk. I kept looking behind me to make sure we weren't completely alone. He seemed to notice. "You're safe here. I can leave and have one of my female staff members stay with you."

That seemed like a lot of trouble just because I was paranoid and I wanted to just get this over with. Instead, I just sat down in the chair across from him, taking the pen he offered and starting the paper work.

"My mother told me why you were here but I wanted to hear it from you," he said once I started writing. "It's good for the victim to acknowledge-"

I stiffened.

"I'm not a victim," I interrupted, looking up.

He looked me over, reading my face it seemed, before nodding. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that it's best if you acknowledge why you're here yourself."

I was still stiffened by the word 'victim' but I looked down and kept writing. I was deciding I didn't like this instructor as much as everyone told me I would. I thought I could get away with just finishing the paperwork without responding, but when he didn't say anything more and I glance up to see him watching me, I realized he was waiting for me to respond, no matter how long it took.

"I was mugged."

The lie was so easy now I almost believed it myself if the memories of what really happened weren't so vivid in my mind.

When he still didn't say anything, I glanced up again and saw him still watching me, waiting patiently.

I wasn't sure what he wanted to hear. When he read the confusion on my face he said, "You're the Rose Hathaway that everyone's talking about...about what happened two weeks ago."

He said it as a statement but he was looking at me as if he expected an answer. I nodded, wanting to forget that event as much as this one.

"You did the right thing, deciding to come here," he finally said.

"I told you, I didn't want to come here."

"True, but no one can force you to do anything. " I begged to differ. "You came here all on your own and that's good, it's a start."

I finished the paperwork and slid it toward him. "A start for what?"

"A start to getting better," he said with a smile just gentle enough to make me feel a little bit of hope.