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That´s What Little Girls Are Made Of...
Chapter Eighty-Three
BPOV
"Ohh..." I moaned, which caused my head to pound painfully. I felt like I was dying. "Somebody make it stop, please." I cracked open an eye and the room started spinning.
My body felt like it`d been hit by a Mack truck, and my mouth tasted like a baby opossum had shit on my tongue.
And, my stomach...
God, my...
I didn't bother finishing that sentence as I catapulted myself out of bed and bolted for the bathroom. By the grace of God, I made it without tripping over anything, including my feet. Dropping to my knees, I prayed to the almighty deity of the porcelain gods.
Oh great God, I come knee bent and body bowed, I mentally said as I hugged the frigid bowl and tried not to puke up my small intestines. I had never, in all my short years on this earth, felt so bad. Tears poured from my eyes as bile ate away at my esophagus.
A familiar hand held my hair back, and a cool, damp washcloth was placed on my neck. When there was nothing left, strong arms lifted me from the floor and helped me to the counter.
I gripped the edge as I swayed, unsteady on my feet. My stomach was emptied of its contents, but I still felt nauseous.
Reluctantly, my eyes met his in the mirror. I couldn´t tell if he was more pissed or more hurt by what I´d done.
Either way, I´d betrayed his trust, and acted irresponsibly.
I deserved whatever punishment that was coming to me.
"Here," was all he said as my toothbrush, ready with toothpaste, was thrust in my face.
Grateful for the distraction, I busied myself with removing the bird shit from my tongue. I may or may not have brushed a little longer than was necessary, hoping to buy myself a little more time.
Ignoring me, Edward turned on the shower and placed a clean towel on the warming rack. Instantly, the room was engulfed in a thin layer of steam.
Without as much as one word, Edward brushed passed me and headed for the door. "E, I-I..." I tried, but the words just got stuck in my throat.
The muscles in Edward´s back tensed, and he gripped the door with a little more force than necessary. "Don´t Bella, just don´t," he said, still facing away from me, "I can´t even stand to look at you right now."
His words cut me like a knife, wounding my very soul. "Edward, please...I´m sorry!" I sobbed. Wrapping my arms around his waist from behind, I buried my face in his back. "Please forgive me," I begged.
For minute, I thought he would turn around and pull me into his arms like he always did.
But, not this time.
Unhooking my arms, Edward said, "Shower, and get back in bed. I´ll check on you later." I watched, helpless, as he walked out of the bathroom without so much as looking back.
What had I done?
How could I have been so stupid?
This was bad.
This was really, really bad.
Edward and I had fought before, but never had he refused to even look at me!
I wanted him to yell and scream at me.
Tell me how stupid I was for getting drunk.
How dangerous it was to have Jacob, Angela, and Seth here drinking as well.
Tell me that I´m going to pay for all the damage!
Tell me that he was sending me back to Forks.
Anything!
I could take anything!
Anything but his silence!
Fifteen minutes later, I was showered, dressed, and standing in front of Edward´s bedroom door, trying to get up the nerve to go out and talk to him.
Two Aleve and a glass of Cran-Apple juice had magically appeared on the dresser while I was in the bathroom. So, after downing the pills and some of the juice, I was feeling marginally better. My stomach was still a little iffy, but, my head was much clearer now.
Swallowing thickly, I tightened the grip on my glass, twisted the knob, and pulled slowly.
Apprehensively, I stepped out into the hallway. My stomach was twisting in knots. I now knew exactly how John Coffey felt walking the Green Mile as I tiptoed across the cool hardwood floor.
The sound of Edward´s angry voice caused me to stop in my tracks. "How the hell did this happen, Alice? Huh? You were supposed to be watching her? You and Rose assured me that she would be fine!"
"Edward, I´m sorry," Alice said, sounding full of remorse. "When Rose and I talked to her last night, she said she was going to a movie with her friends. After it was over, she called again to say that they were going to stop for something to eat before going home."
"And you believed her!" Edward roared. "Fuck, Alice, how stupid can you be?" I flinched at the harshness of his words.
I heard Alice sniffle loudly. "I swear to God, Edward, had I known, I would have never let them come here." Alice´s sniffles soon turned to all out sobs.
Great, now because of me, Edward was fighting with his friends.
"Now wait one minute, Ed," Jasper spoke this time in a very Southern and serious tone. "I know you got a lot on your plate right now, but that´s no reason to be disrespectful. Alice and Rose did nothing wrong. Just like you, they trusted Bella." At hearing Jasper´s statement, I was filled with shame and regret.
Hanging my head in shame, I studied the floor.
Rosalie and Alice had accepted me without question, welcoming me into their lives and becoming the sisters I never had. And this was how I repaid them? I was so ashamed of myself, and I prayed that they would find it in their hearts to forgive me. Give me another chance.
Taking another sip from the glass in my hand, I shuffled forward, only to be stopped once again by Edward´s wrath.
Edward Cullen was on the war path.
He was out for blood.
Usually, in the face of turmoil, Edward was the more calm and level-headed one.
There had to be more to this than I was seeing.
My thoughts were interrupted when Edward hissed, "I don´t give a fuck about him. I´m going to the dean, and they will be expelled!"
Expelled?
Who was getting expelled?
I must have missed something important while I was wallowing in self-pity.
"Come on, E," Emmett pleaded, "nothing happened. When I dropped them back off at school, they were all scared shitless. Seth and Jacob even offered to split the bill for the damage. No harm, no foul man! You of all people know what´s it´s like to be in college. You remember all the shit we used to get into," Emmett stated matter-of-factly.
"Hell, we still get into," Jasper said, trying to lighten the mood. "You´re just not thinking clear, Ed, don´t go making decisions that you´ll regret later. Not while you´re dealing with...dealing with this."
This?
What was this?
Why where they speaking in riddles, and what was Edward dealing with?
"This," Edward spat, letting out a painful sounding laugh. "Jasper, I´m dealing with more than this. My fucking parents are dead, and I´ve got to find a way to break the news to Bella, so yeah, I´m dealing with a lot fucking more than this!"
My parents are dead!
My parents are dead!
My parents are dead!
The words were on a constant loop inside my head.
Over and over, they played themselves, as if once wasn´t enough.
The glass I was holding slipped from my hands when my entire body went numb.
The musical sounds of shattering crystal were overshadowed by my gut wrenching screams, "Noooo...no, no, noooo!" Pulling at my hair, I fell to my knees, wishing the shards of glass sinking into my skin could somehow supersede that pain that was sinking into my heart. I yelled and screamed until my voice gave out, hoping against hope that what I´d heard wasn´t true.
Not again, I thought as I felt something sharp prick my skin.
And for the first time in my life, I welcomed the darkness.
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