AN: You guys continue to amaze me with your love and support for this story. I know these next few chapters are going to be hard to read, but I feel like they deserve to have time to grieve. So…keep those tissues handy for a few more days, but I promise, when they´ll get there!

DreamTeam approved!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NUTHIN!

That´s What Little Girls Are Made Of…

Chapter Eighty-Five

BPOV

Again...

It´s happening again...

And just like before, I´m powerless to stop it.

My mind was still a bit hazy from the sedative that they´d given me, but not foggy enough to erase my memory.

Carlisle and Esme were gone.

The only mother I´d ever known had been taken away from me.

I was beginning to think that I was the cause of all the bad luck.

First, my mother...

Then Charlie...

And now, Esme and Carlisle...

Who was next, Edward?

The mere thought had my heart rate spiking, and my breath coming out in erratic bursts. I was becoming lightheaded from the lack of oxygen.

The room, already bathed in darkness, started to spin, and my heart felt like it was going to explode. "H-he-help," I panted hoarsely.

Monitors screamed, alerting the hospital staff of my distress.

Edward!

Where is Edward?!

I need Edward!

The cuts and gashes burned with pain as I clawed at my throat in an effort to get more air into my lungs.

The door flew open, and my room was suddenly bathed in florescent light. "Miss Swan, please," the elderly lady dressed in colorful scrubs begged. "You have to calm down."

Calm down?

Calm down!

There would be no calming down of any kind until they got me Edward.

"E-Ed-Edward," I rasped against the stinging pain in my throat. It felt like I´d swallowed a dozen sharp razor blades, but not even that could stop me from hissing at the nurse. "P-puh-lease, I-I need him," I pleaded tearfully.

"He just stepped..." the nurse began as the door flew open. "Oh Mr. Cullen, thank God it´s you. She´s having some sort of panic attack."

Rushing to my side, Edward gripped my face between his hands and forced me to look at him. "It´s okay, Sweetie, I´m here now, deep breaths," he coaxed, demonstrating with his own long pulls of air.

With my wide brown eyes locked on his green ones, I was able to get my breathing under control. Brushing my tears away with the pad of his thumb, Edward´s eyes softened. "Better, baby girl?"Unable to vocalize my response, I simply nodded my head in assent.

Despite our present company, Edward crawled into bed with me and pulled me into his chest. I ignored the pain shooting through my limbs and wrapped myself around his body.

Edward was all that I had left in this world, and I´d damned if I ever let him go.

Words were unnecessary as we lay there inside our own little bubble. Time was of no consequence while I drifted in and out of consciousness, with Edward by my side, I wasn´t afraid to close my eyes and go to sleep.

"Knock, knock," I heard called from the doorway. "May I come in?"

"Jane," Edward called. "Of course, please, come in." He continued to scratch lightly up and down my back. The simple action felt so good that it made me want to purr.

Ducking my head, I buried my face in Edward´s neck. His hold on me tightened minutely. I´d had the pleasure of being in Jane´s company a few times when I visited Chicago, and she seemed nice enough, but my actions yesterday had me feeling a bit embarrassed and insecure.

"How is she?" Jane asked in a quiet, professional tone.

Kissing the top of my head, Edward sighed. "She had a rough morning, but, all and all, I think she´s doing better."

"Yeah, Mrs. Cope told me when I came on duty about the panic attack. I just think, in light of everything that's happened, what Bella needs more than anything now is familiarity. I have her release papers for you to sign, and, as soon as she´s dressed, Mrs. Cope will be in to discuss her wound care and then you can take her home."

"Thank you, Jane," Edward´s voice trembled, "for everything."

"I´m here," Jane said sympathetically. "If you need anything, Edward, anything at all, we´re here," Jane, the cousin, offered. She may have entered the room as my doctor, but it was Edward´s family that was walking out the door.

"Come on, baby girl," Edward coaxed. "Let´s get you ready to go home."

Home?

Did I really still have one?

As if they had been summoned, Alice and Rose popped their heads in the door. "May we come in?" Rose asked nervously.

That was new.

The confident, no shit-taking, hard-ass was nowhere to be found.

"Sure," I shrugged shyly, looking down at the floor.

"Rose and I brought you some things from home. How about we let Edward wait outside while we helped you get changed?" Alice suggested, not knowing that her words were going to send me into a tailspin.

"N-n-no, no," I shook my head and pleaded Edward with wide eyes not to go.

Immediately, knowing what I needed, Edward focused solely on my. "Izzy, breathe, baby girl, you need to get dressed. You trust Rose and Ali, they´re going to help you. Baby, I promise, I´ll be right outside."

Looking wildly from the girls to Edward, I still couldn´t convince myself to let him leave. Clinging to him, I cried, "No", and fisted his shirt.

"Hey, hey," Edward said, lifting my chin so that I met his eyes. "What if I just step outside, but keep my hand inside the door so you know that I´m still there."

"O-okay," I whimpered, watching as he did exactly as he said he would.

Awkwardly, while I continued to maintain a death grip on Edward´s hand, Rose and Alice helped me get into a pair of sweats and a hoodie.

After a quick overview of my wound care and we were on our way. The ride to the condo was filled with tense silence, but I couldn't find it in me to feel uncomfortable about it. And, by the time we walked through the door, I was exhausted.

"Edward, will you lay with me?" I asked in a broken voice that I didn't even recognize as my own.

"Sure, sweetheart, whatever you need."

Leaning into his side, we headed down the hall and into his bedroom. We lay there silently wrapped in each other´s arms, drawing comfort and strength from one another. After a while, I spoke. "Edward."

"Yeah, Iz?"

"Promise me I won´t lose you too," I sniffled, letting my tears fall silently.

"Oh, Izzy, my sweet, sweet, Izzy," Edward breathed while peppering my face and hair with kisses. "I promise you, I´m not leaving you until you order me away. And even then, I´ll stalk you from a distance."

"Never," I whispered sleepily, letting the fatigue take me under.

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