"We're going to jog around my neighborhood?" I asked reluctantly as we stood on the corner at the end of my street after stretching.

The stretching was supposedly supposed to easy any tension in our bodies and loosen up muscles but I felt tense despite the stretch.

I had hoped we'd run somewhere else.

"Yeah I thought it might be easier for you to run in familiar territory," he answered.

He looked a little uneasy himself probably nervous about running after not having done it so long.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked not wanting to be the reason to push someone into something they didn't want to do.

He glanced at me, a grateful smile on his face for my concern and nodded. "Yeah I want to do this. How does the ankle feel?"

"Little achy since I've been standing on it," I admitted.

"That's fine. The best way to push through the pain is to either muster up the best memory you can or the most painful. Then your focus wont be on your ankle but your memory."

I didn't like the sound of that, having to remember anything but I nodded anyway.

Dimitri looked just as reluctant and I noticed him gently touch his leg. I wondered what his most painful memory was like.

He straightened up and steeled himself, ready to run. "Are you ready?" he asked taking a deep breath himself.

I inhaled the cool air and a sweet spicy scent that I realized was his aftershave before nodding.

We started slow at first, almost at a walking pace, but as time passed I found that the pain in my ankle was a little more bearable with each step. I was too lost in my own memories to even really make sure Dimitri was okay beside me. I could feel him beside me, his presence was too large to ignore especially with his size, but I was way too far gone in my thoughts.

Remembering.

My most painful memory.

My muffled scream, the rough, calloused hand. His other hand making it's way up my leg, pushing my skirt up.

No, I couldn't remember. I had to forget. I didn't want to remember.

Hands all over me, laughter.

I could feel myself trying to shake the memories away but they wouldn't go away. They were too clear in my mind.

My blurry tears. Green, blue, and brown, eyes glistening above me, dancing with laughter and amusement. The only light in the room came from the moon outside the window but it was enough to see them by.

I just wanted it to be over.

I wanted to go home.

Unable to fight and feeling too small and too week, and very tired and cold.

It'll be over soon, I told myself. I just have to think about something else. It'll be over soon.

I was crying softly now, quietly, and before I knew it, I didn't feel the weight of them on top of me any more. I could still smell the stale beer rolling off of them though so I knew they were still to close to me. I didn't dare move...

I stopped running.

I could heard Dimitri right in front of me, asking if I was alright, what was wrong but he sounded so far away.

He slowly reached out to put a gentle hand on my shoulder but I panicked, mistaking it for one of their hands and swatted him away. I was breathing to deeply. I had to sit. I had to think to clear my head. I had to forget because when I forgot I was okay. I was fine.

"Rose, please I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Dimitri said.

When I didn't reply. he said, "Let's just sit down for a second. Okay? I'm going to help you sit down."

Somehow we'd made it around the neighborhood and ended up back at my house on the steps leading to my front door. I walked in a daze and let Dimitri guide me down. I felt Dimitri sit beside me, stretching his bad leg out in front of him. I pulled my hair that had come undone from it's ponytail back from my face. Dimitri let me sit in silence for a long time.

"Do you need some water?"

I shook my head. "No...I just...I think I need to go lie down."

He nodded, his concerned brown eyes never leaving my face. Despite wanting to go inside and lie down, tucked away into my bed, I didn't move. I couldn't decided if I wanted to be left alone or if being alone would just make it harder to forget.

"Rose," he started gently, "I make it a rule not to push anyone into telling me why they want to learn to fight. I figure it isn't my business and if they want to tell me, that's up to them. In your case though, I think it might be better if you told me. Maybe I can help. Keeping whatever it is to yourself is preventing you from doing anything."

I swallowed past the dryness in my throat and shuddered.

Talking about it meant I had to remember and I didn't want to remember.

But I couldn't help wondering what it might feel like to tell someone else, someone not involved or already aware of what's going on. The thought of telling someone, especially Dimitri, eased a weight off my shoulders. I decided I could tell him and trust him. I just wasn't sure I wanted to because once he knew, there was no going back.

I took a shaky breath.

He waited patiently, pulling a water bottle out of who knows where and handing it to me. I drank it grateful before setting it between us and running my hands through my hair again.

"I lied to the police," I started.

He looked surprised, as if he hadn't expected for me to start with that.

"About what?"

"I lied to you too," I added, feeling ashamed. "And your mother, my mother," I listed.

His confusion seemed to disappear. "You lied about being mugged," he guessed.

I nodded.

"I knew that," he said. "I could see it on your face."

This didn't surprise me. Dimitri seemed to be the only person to be able to read me like a book. "When I went to your class that first day, you knew who I was."

"Your name has been around town lately. What you did was pretty big," he commented sounded like he admired me.

I wasn't sure if what I did was a good thing or a bad thing or if I had the chance that I'd do it over again. I took a deep breath and decided to just let it all out.

"Do you know the full story of what happened?"

"Only what people have told me," he admitted. "You reported the son of one of the most prominent families in town for rape."

I took another shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah I did. I don't even know how things got so bad," I sighed running my hands over my tired face. "One day, everything is fine and perfect and the next...the majority of town hates me."

"There are people that admire you," he noted, smiling as if he himself was included in that.

I gave a small smile, despite my unease at having to remember all of this.

"People are just surprised. The rule around here has always been that you don't mess with the prominent families, no matter what crimes they committed," he commented.

"I know. I couldn't let them get away with what they did though."

"You did the right thing."

I tucked my hair behind my ears and straightened up, ready to give the full story.

"Everything was so perfect in high school before all of this happened. I was dating Adrian Ivashkov the guy who doesn't date anyone, Lissa was dating his best friend Jesse, and everything just felt right. We were always having a good time and there was always a group of us hanging out together so I wasn't really nervous about having Adrian Ivashkov as my boyfriend. Everyone loves him. He knows how to charm people and make them like him. He seemed like the perfect boyfriend. But there's this one night at a party where he's really drunk and somehow we ended up alone together when I try and drive him home. He never really tried to sleep with before, it just never came up and I was really okay with that but that night after the party he really came at me and tried to..."

I let my words trail off. Dimitri hesitated before resting his hand on my own, not moving it when I didn't flinch. "It's alright."

I continued with his encouragement, warmth flooded through my hand. "He didn't do anything though. He was too drunk and I managed to fight him off. I went home and just hoped the next day it would be forgotten. I know that sounds...terrible and wrong but I just...didn't know what to do."

"A lot of women don't," he assured me gently.

"The next day though, Adrian dumped me, told everyone I'd been whoring myself out around town. Of course everyone believed him. Lissa knew he was lying but she didn't say anything because she didn't want it to end up like it was before, when it was just the two of us and we were pretty much social outcasts. I couldn't blame her, I wouldn't want that either. So I didn't say anything. A few weeks went by and next thing I know she's dating Adrian. I couldn't...I couldn't just let her go out with him knowing what he'd try to do. I tried to warn her but she wouldn't listen, told me I was jealous of her taking my spot in our group. She ignored me for a while but a few days later, I found her in the bathroom crying and she told me what happened. Adrian raped her and it was my fault for not doing anything."

"None of this was your fault," Dimitri assure me, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I could've tried to do more to stop him, report him sooner."

"You were just as scared. None of this was your fault," he repeated.

His words didn't really sink in. It felt like my fault. I continued with the story. "I tried to convince Lissa to report him but she wouldn't. She didn't want to lose her 'friends' and she was afraid of being an outcast like I was. At lunch, the day after he attacked her, he had a new girl on his arm and I knew what he'd end up doing to her. I couldn't let it happened again. I felt guilty enough already. So that day after school I went to the police and reported him. The majority of them didn't believe me but that one cop, Officer Alto, he believed me but he just couldn't prove it and I didn't have any evidence. He went to question Adrian and that's when everyone found out. Everyone that I was just being a jealous scorned girlfriend making up lies. Lissa wouldn't back me up or talk to the police so of course I looked crazy."

"What you did was brave for speaking up," Dimitri said.

"I should've done it sooner," I complained, locking my fingers in my hair.

"It's good that you said anything at all."

"Yeah well even after I report him, nothing happened accept I was suffering from an extreme case of bullying. Lissa came by my house the day after the police talked to her and she was angry and yelling at me. The only one who believed me, my mom, stood up for me and I love her for that but it's only made things worse for the both of us. Two weeks after I made the report, I was walking home and Adrian and his friends found me. They took me to his backhouse and..."

I was crying softly now, tears streaming down my face. There was no holding back the memories anymore.

"I tried to get away," I sobbed.

Sometime after I started crying Dimitri encircled and heavy arm around my shoulders and engulfed me in a hug. He muttered how sorry he was that happened to me. I didn't flinch. I felt more comfortable than I had in weeks and warm. He let me cry until all that was left were soft sobs and my hiccups.

"Your mother doesn't know," he acknowledged.

I shook my head. "She's been through enough already with all of this going on. She lost two jobs and was lucky enough to find replacements...I couldn't..."

"You're her daughter. You're more important to her than anything."

I knew that but the idea of telling her didn't seem like a good one. I shook my head against his shoulder, pulling away to wipe at my eyes.

"Rose, you have to tell her."

"Telling people about something terrible is what made me a social outcast in the first place," I laughed dryly. "I just want to forget."

"That won't help."

I knew there was truth to his words. "Yeah but for a while...I can pretend it does."

He nodded as if he understood.

"We do that a lot in my family...pretend the bad stuff never happened..."

"It's easier that way," I pointed out.

"Yeah but eventually we have to face our fears and it gets better. My sister Viktoria especially. There's something wrong with her but she wont talk to any of us about it and if there's anyone in the world who is stubborn it's her. We think it has something to do with some guy she said she was dating. She says she's fine but...we can tell she's not. Ignoring the bad stuff is kind of a Belikov trait," he smiled gently.

Belikov...Viktoria...Viktoria Belikov...the name suddenly set off alarms in my head...Belikov...the third girl Adrian dated...her last name was...

"Your sister is Viktoria Belikov," I said looking at Dimitri in surprise.

He nodded. "Not many people in town with that name," he said gently, confused as to why I pointed his sister's name out.

"The third girl Adrian dated...her name was Viktoria Belikov."