Talk Show Glukk

Episode Two – Lulu the Glukkon

*LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I'm TheManFromMudos, and welcome back to the second episode of 'Talk Show Glukk'. This episode features none other than Lulu the Glukkon, but we'll leave it to Daxby to fully introduce him. Read on and enjoy. THANK YOU!*

(We appear in the same small studio as before. The audience is gathered around the set, waiting for Daxby's arrival. The audience begins to applaud, and in he walks, wearing the same navy blue suit as last time. He walks to his desk to a rousing cheer from the audience.)

Daxby: Good evening, all! Welcome back to 'Talk Show Glukk'. I'm your host, Phillip Daxby, and today we'll be talking to yet another of Oddworld's top celebrities. But first, ladies and gentle-Glukks, I'd like to apologise for something I said on the last show. I asked you all to put your hands together, and I'm sorry to have offended the Glukkons in the audience. Yes, I know that we cannot 'put our hands together'. But anyway, now that that's out of the way, please give a warm welcome to… Lulu the Glukkon!

(The audience applauds and Lulu walks in. He shows off an enormous flashy suit and a long, thick cigar. He heads over to Daxby and sits in one of the armchairs beside him.)

Lulu: Thank you! Thank you all! It's great to be here!

Daxby: No problem, Lulu. Glad you could be on the show. So, Lulu. As in the last show, we'll start with the question everybody wants to be answered. How does it feel to come from such a humble beginning to where you are now?

Lulu: It's great, Daxby. Honestly, I love the high life! Some say money can't buy you happiness. I disagree!

(He erupts into laughter, as does the audience. There is some applause, which eventually settles. After this, the audience is quiet once again.)

Daxby: Okay then. Lulu, here's a few more questions that the public want to hear answered.

(The television monitor between the two Glukkons lights up. The first question appears on the screen, reading 'Where did you get your suit?')

Daxby: So, how about this one, eh? Lulu, where is that suit from?

Lulu: I got it made especially by one of the best tailors in Mudos. Glukkon called Tex got one made, too, and the owner of Flub Fuels. Sadly, I can't give you his card. He only works for the richest!

(Lulu laughs again. The audience finds less enjoyment from this remark, but there is some laughter all the same. The question on the screen then changes.)

Daxby: Well, what about this question. "Lulu, how did you get the idea for Lulu's Fund"?

Lulu: That's a good question. I don't really know, to be perfectly honest. The inspiration just… hit me. What else can I say?

Daxby: Can't argue with that. Everyone has one burst of inspiration within them. Right, everybody?

(The audience agrees and begins to applaud Lulu. The final question appears on the television screen.)

Daxby: Alright, Lulu. Last question. "Vykkers Labs will soon be auctioning the last can of Gabbiar on Oddworld. It's said that only the richest will attend. Will you be going?"

(Members of the audience mumble amongst themselves. It seems that they want to know that answer to this particular question.)

Lulu: Well, Daxby. This may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but no. I will not be attending the auction.

(There are gasps from the audience. Some ask questions which are inaudible.)

Daxby: Oh. Care to tell us why?

Lulu: I'll be perfectly honest, Daxby. I hate Gabbiar. It's just Gabbit eggs, right? I mean, who'd want a can of that disgusting (BLEEP)?

(People are clearly shocked by this last statement. Daxby waits until the audience falls quiet again. He then continues.)

Daxby: Fair enough. Well, Lulu. It's been a delight to talk to you tonight. Hope you've enjoyed being on the show.

Lulu: I have indeed, Daxby. Thanks again for having me on.

Daxby: Not at all. Ladies and gentle-Glukks, Lulu the Glukkon!

(The audience roars with applause. Lulu stands and walks offstage. The applause continues whilst Daxby also stands and walks centre stage.)

Daxby: Well everybody, thanks for watching 'Talk Show Glukk'. I've been Phillip Daxby, he's been Lulu the Glukkon, and you've been a wonderful audience. We'll see you next time! GOOD NIGHT!

(The audience cheers and there are a few whistles as Daxby leaves the stage. The stage lights go out and the curtain falls.)

*Well, that's it for this episode of 'Talk Show Glukk'. Thanks everyone for reading. There'll be more soon. THANK YOU!*