Ink on Paper
Written by Whimsical Symphony
Long time no see, guys. University life has been busy and while I'd much rather spend my time writing fanfiction over essays, it's not feasible. However, I have written ahead in this story by a few chapters to work out a few kinks in relation to Elsa's character and how I want to map this story out. I'm glad that it's been well received so far and that you all don't find Elsa to be an annoying OC, especially because the story focuses a lot on her and her life rather than the life of the larger Letter Bee world. I tried my best to make her funny, imperfect, though not completely devoid of her strengths – she knows she's smart. After all, trying to make a non-Mary Sue OC isn't all about making them have so few strengths that you wonder why they even exist.
Likewise, writing Jiggy is difficult and I've tried to make him more similar to his character in the manga where I found it diverged a bit. He's more ambiguous now with what he says, speaks in riddles a bit.
I hope that this chapter is well received, and again I'm so happy that you all enjoy it thus far. There's a gift for you in the form of Zazie who is amazing. Happy reading!
Chapter III - The Importance of Choice
Elsa Marchen didn't expect to see what she did a few weeks after the incident where she sent back a reply to Jiggy Pepper's letter.
She walked home late at night, after buying a few meals from a store, of rice and fish, a change from bread, though she couldn't do without that and so bought the bread too. The cool air brushed against her skin, and she shivered a little.
Amberground was always a cool place, at least for Yuusari and Yodaka, due to their distance from the artificial sun despite the Geothermal heating. She walked quickly through the streets of Central until she passed a dark alley.
Dark alleys weren't uncommon, but she didn't expect to find Zazie Winters in one, fawning over a few stray cats that happened to make their home there. Elsa could've sworn she saw the young man melt inwardly from how adorable he found the sight.
She talked to Zazie a couple times before, since he came around the Bee Hive so often, and checked in with her sometimes about his deliveries. As such, she knew him, and he knew her, slightly at least. And from what she observed, Zazie never looked like the type to favour adorable kittens, but apparently her view of him had been all wrong.
Thunderland mentioned it a few times, that he had a slight cat fetish but she never particularly paid attention.
"Ah, so Zazie Winters isn't such a tough guy after all, is he? Truly surprising indeed," Elsa called mockingly. "I never imagined I'd see him cooing over adorable stray cats."
Zazie jumped up startled, and clearly looked a little embarrassed when he faced her. "So what if I like cats? I wasn't hiding it, pretty much everyone knows."
"There's nothing wrong," Elsa replied. When she looked at Zazie, he really did remind her of a ruffled cat. "What is the shame in showing such care towards cats? They're probably quite grateful towards you." And just as she said that, one of them meowed and Zazie flushed uncomfortably. "And it's good you don't hide it."
"I guess…" he mumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Elsa imagined he wanted to pet the cat badly, but resisted. "What do you want?" He glared at her, looking again like a tough guy, before his stomach growled loudly and he looked flustered yet again.
Elsa held up the two bags she held and started, "Zazie Winters, would you like to have dinner with me?" She couldn't resist teasing him like she did to Jiggy so much. She wanted to see how Zazie would react to her, so she continued, looking deep into his eyes like a young woman in love, exclaiming, "Truly, I've wanted to have dinner with you for the longest time but I couldn't find the courage. I think I've been infatuated with you for a long time, always watching you from afar and wondering how it would feel to feel your lips against mine. Unrequited love is a painful ordeal, but this care you show towards these kittens has given me the courage!" She blushed for good measure, and put her hand on the uncomfortable Zazie's shoulder, as if to stop him from running away. "I love you, Zazie Winters. You're so incredibly handsome and strong."
"Stop it, old hag! You're too old for me, aren't you embarrassed?" Zazie exclaimed, thoroughly annoyed and flustered, scowling deeply. He smelled the scent of fish and Mrs. Gobani's bread though, and his stomach growled again. He admitted, "I think I'll have dinner with you though."
"How cruel, ignoring my love confession for you like that. Age is a difficult thing to come to terms with." Elsa looked at the ground with a frown, looking about to cry. "And calling me an old hag? That is not what you'd call good manners."
"I don't care about good manners. You were being annoying," Zazie told her grumpily, still as red as a beetroot. He began to walk off and Elsa looked after him, confused before he turned back around and called, "Lead me to your place. You wanted to eat dinner, didn't you?"
He called her an old hag, and annoying. Quite a brat. Even if she admitted she was much too old for him and probably frightened him a little with her display.
Jiggy, she remembered, just simply told her to cut the crap, and told her how he considered it unwanted if she did in fact harbour secret affections for him.
Elsa wondered when he'd next come to town. He never wrote a reply to her letter, not that it offended her or any such nonsense, or broke her heart and allowed it to bleed out all her nonexistent feelings of love for him.
She just became a tiny bit disappointed, since she wanted to pester him with more questions about letters and Letter Bees and about his adventures too. Jiggy didn't seem to mind when she went off her rocker about the Amberground Scriptures, or about theories from philosophers and old texts from historians. He shared his own thoughts with her, rather than just humouring her, albeit in his usual cryptic way. It'd been a while since anyone did that for her.
"You're a brat, Zazie Winters," Elsa exclaimed tersely, but then smirked a little. "But, leading you to my place? Are we starting off our relationship in such a slovenly fashion?"
"Shut up…" Zazie blushed more if possible, and refused to look at her anymore, while they walked in silence to Elsa's home. The only sound in the night was the sound of Elsa's laughter.
She couldn't resist teasing him, especially since he reacted in such a way – her reputation be damned, she found it far too amusing.
Zazie made himself quite at home, eating fish, the rice, and munching on the bread she'd bought quickly. Elsa had wanted to be surprised, but really she supposed all teenage boys were gluttons, especially boys like Zazie who had yet to go through their growth spurts. She did expect a fourteen year old to be a little taller.
Elsa herself wasn't especially tall, but certainly taller than Zazie which drew a small chuckle out of her. She sat across from him on the table, idly eating her own bread.
Elsa wondered as well why people didn't seem averse to her invitations to dinner: Zazie, and Jiggy both. Certainly, she pulled Jiggy along, but no complaints came out of him. Zazie accepted her invitation all too readily, especially since she barely knew him and had been quite cruel with her teasing.
"I wonder, why did you choose to come to dinner with me?" Elsa asked with a frown, trying to decode him, analyze him like she would an ancient document, or perhaps when she tried to understand a document on the history of Amberground.
"You invited me, and there was free food," Zazie told her bluntly. "I'm not rich. And I know you're not shady 'cause I've seen you around the Bee Hive. So why the hell would I turn down free food?"
"Even after I was less than proper with my comments towards you?" Elsa continued, not at all feeling embarrassed. "I did tease you about my apparent affections to you and didn't stop. An old hag like me would make you uncomfortable, wouldn't it?"
"You were just trying to make me uncomfortable... I hope," Zazie continued, bread in his mouth. Indeed, a lack of etiquette, since he talked with his mouth full. Regardless, it seemed endearing, in a way.
Even if he didn't apologize for calling her an old lady.
His reaction mimicked Jiggy's in a way, and she wondered what made her so unappealing to men that she didn't even have the right to like anybody, not to say she liked little boys like Zazie anyway, since that would be entirely inappropriate and the thought frankly made her want to vomit. But she apparently couldn't even like men Jiggy's age, and her affections remained entirely unappreciated. A sad thought, indeed.
"That is terrible for you to say, what if I did like you?" Elsa teased, taking another bite of bread herself. "Am I so unappealing as a lady?"
Zazie frowned, and blushed and stumbled over his words when he said, "I wouldn't come if you were being like that…" he scowled at her, and continued, "I thought I told you old hags aren't my type."
Zazie Winters continued to stuff his face, completely enamoured with the food in front of him. Elsa sighed then, and wondered why she invited the boy to dinner, especially since he seemed fine with calling her a hag, showing no guilt for it. Perhaps she was getting lonely these days to the point that even spending meals with strangers did just fine.
That day she ate with Jiggy had been the first time in a long time she ate with anybody, and he answered the questions she'd been dying to know, even went to far as to write her a letter out of the kindness of his heart, a kindness that seemed contradictory to his aloof, unapproachable appearance. Elsa wondered if she would have done the same, had she been in his position, though she supposed she wouldn't have been anyway, since she would have made a terrible Bee. She knew she'd be dead in a matter of minutes if she attempted the same jobs Jiggy Pepper did.
They risked their lives for letters. She wondered why people became Bees. Looking at Zazie sitting across from her, she opened her mouth to ask, "Zazie, why did you become a Bee?" and hoped she hadn't turned out to ask another offensive question.
Zazie stopped eating for a moment and swallowed almost painfully. "Why does it matter?"
"Is curiosity a sin?" Elsa continued, tapping her fingers on the wooden surface of the table.
"Most people don't ask. Bees are Bees, and they've got their own reasons. Not everyone's as open about why as Lag is," Zazie said aloud, remembering how out of line he'd been when he first met Lag Seeing, trivializing why he'd chosen to become a Bee. To him, Gauche Suede didn't seem important. "I didn't become a Letter Bee to deliver letters. Pretty much everyone at the Bee Hive knows that already."
"You want to destroy Gaichuu." Elsa gave him a look. "Correct?"
"Gaichuu killed my parents. So I wanna kill every one of them," Zazie responded easily. "Most people don't like that. I've started to watch out for my letters more though…"
"That's admirable, in itself," she told him with a small smile. "Why has your opinion about letters changed?"
"Lag convinced me that letters are important. They have heart, so I should always think they're important." He scratched his neck a little nervously.
She wanted to tell him that his devotion to friendship, seemed perhaps the most admirable thing of all, but didn't get the chance. Somehow, she wished she understood the purpose of "heart" and what it entailed, like the Bees seemed to know so well.
Elsa heard a small tap at her window then. Blinking once, she rose from her seat and unlocked the latch, opening the window wide and letting Harry, Jiggy's dingo, fly in and settle on her desk. Zazie looked over curiously and when he did, his eyes widened considerably and he dropped his fork due to his slackened grip.
"T-That's Jiggy's dingo!" Zazie exclaimed. He looked to Elsa and continued, "You know him?"
"We're vaguely acquainted, myself and that curious Express Bee," Elsa told him with a sly smile. She moved to give Harry some bread, and then slowly untie the letter from his leg. "I should tell Jiggy to not do this. It must be difficult to destroy Gaichuu without one's dingo."
"Jiggy Pepper writes to you?" Zazie exclaimed, even more shocked. "What kind of stuff does he write? Jiggy is so mysterious and cool!" He paused for a moment before continuing to ramble. "And he always says meaningful stuff, and I don't really understand but you've got to just agree because it's Jiggy Pepper right? He'd make talking about boring junk like eating breakfast sound awesome."
"It's only happened once, we're not well acquainted. He took pity on little old me," Elsa told him jokingly. Absentmindedly, she scratched below Harry's chin, and the bird crowed. Opening the letter then, she began to read Jiggy's response. "Well let us see what he's written. For such an unsociable man, he's slightly more eloquent on paper."
Zazie sat upright, completely losing his appetite, as he waited intently for Jiggy's words. Elsa imagined that he wanted to know more about Jiggy, and he understood that letters in a way, often revealed things about a person that they wouldn't otherwise reveal. The written word had so many implications, so many feelings as well as a direct meaning, even to one so stoic as Jiggy Pepper.
Elsa Marchen,
I'm glad you learned something. All letters have heart in them, some kind of feeling. They can even be self-centred or full of hate, or of joy, or happiness, or even an 'I miss you' along with any number of feelings. Letter Bees carry that heart so our own feelings matter. It's a passion on our part, but we have to be careful not to fall prey to the feelings in a letter. Heart is strength, but it can quickly become weakness.
I'm wondering what feeling you got from reading my letter. No one gets heart more clearly than a reader.
History and theory are who you are, so there's no need to stay away from it. It's unnatural. Be who you are because who are you otherwise?
The Gaichuu are like spirit insects. A lot of people probably think about that, but it's something that no one wants to acknowledge; we're already far from the sun so why invite more darkness? But then, what should we even think about in Amberground? Our world isn't one with happy thoughts.
Yuusari is the happy medium for everything. While Yodaka's too dark, Yuusari is at least a little bit closer to the sun. Aria always said that to aim for Head Bee is to get closest to the darkness and that's what Gauche Suede aimed for. Most people are content to stay in Yuusari. I can't say what I'd prefer, either way. Only that I know Akatsuki isn't what is seems to be.
I hope you understand sometime. I'll be back around in Central soon since it's been awhile. Your diet's not all that great. I'll treat you to something when I get back. Do me a favour and take care of Harry until then, will you, since there's no point sending him out again.
Don't worry about me. I've done this a million times before and your words sound like flirting to me. I'm not interested.
See you and thanks,
Jiggy Pepper
Gauche Suede seemed like an integral part of everyone's lives. Elsa wanted to know more about him too since his name happened to be mentioned everywhere.
"H-He invited you out to a meal?" Zazie exclaimed incredulously. "You're going to eat with Jiggy Pepper? You mean, you're going to talk to him too? And maybe you'll get a ride on his super cool 'Iron Horse' too. Dang, I'm jealous! I wonder what kinds of things Jiggy talks about during a meal and what kinds of things he likes to eat…" He paused for a moment before asking, alarmed, "You were flirting with him? What the hell?"
His Iron Horse, the famous motorcycle Jiggy Pepper rode somehow for hours on end, despite the fact that it consumed heart. Nothing proved his skill more as a Letter Bee than that motorcycle which allowed him to perform express deliveries in record time. A normal person would become somewhat exhausted with just a few hours of riding it, yet he rode it for far longer and still had a Shindanjuu to shoot at Gaichuu. Elsa wanted to ask him about how it worked, how he did it. Truly, someone's heart shouldn't have been able to support that.
"I'll ask him about that Iron Horse of his. It's a curious contraption," Elsa said aloud, only then noting how Zazie's eyes sparkled.
Elsa chuckled, reading over his words for the last time. She wondered how many people who lived in Ambergound would readily talk about their uncertainty about Akatsuki, the capital, and how no one seemed to know what lay behind its walls.
"I've eaten with him once before. He's good company, though a bit unsociable," Elsa told him slowly, her smile turning sly. "Shall I tell him it's you who wishes to flirt with him?"
"I don't!" Zazie flushed and scowled. "I just admire him."
And in that, Zazie thought, that maybe Gauche Suede was to Lag, on a deeper level, what Jiggy Pepper was to him. He started to understand that, after getting to know Lag better. He went crazy whenever anything dealt with Gauche.
"It's obvious, I think everyone in the Bee Hive knows you worship Jiggy. He might know himself," Elsa teased. "You do get tongue tied whenever he comes around, don't you think? Almost like a girl with a crush."
"Don't call me a girl!" Zazie protested vehemently, mouth still full of food. "Any normal person would think Jiggy's cool. It's common sense!"
Elsa joked with him, and laughed at him for the rest of dinner due to his hero worship of one Jiggy Pepper. Somehow though, she knew Zazie wasn't alone in his feelings, since his reputation spread far and wide in Yuusari as Mana said. Though unsociable, and seemingly without friends, many people admired him, the proverbial lone wolf. Elsa did wonder though, with someone who seemed slightly oblivious like him, who moved at his own pace, did he know?
Elsa worked front desk for the next two days, unfortunately for her. She marked down the completed deliveries made by Bees and passed new letters to them, constantly dealing with both her own boredom since she desperately wished to work in the library. While she held the interest for what the Bees did during their time on the road, grew interested questioned even she didn't have the patience to deal with many of them especially during work hours. For example, Moc Sullivan always found time to scowl, she noted. While she defended his work ethic at the bar the other day, she'd die before calling him a decent and amiable individual.
His scowl always made her day just a little bit darker.
"You'd think he has no people skills, right Harry?" Elsa grumbled to the dingo who obviously wanted out.
Harry came to work with her for the next two days while she awaited Jiggy Pepper's return. It caused a lot of questions, certainly, though not from Zazie who already knew the situation and seemed far too interested in catching a view of Jiggy once he strode through the doors of the Bee Hive, stealthily of course like some sort of secret agent, with how he pretended to be doing something important, or hiding behind pillars and such so the man wouldn't notice when he walked in. Moc Sullivan never questioned her, but he did clearly state his mind when picking up his letters that day.
"My respect for Jiggy Pepper's dropped a bit," he mentioned bluntly when she assigned his deliveries, taking a look at Harry who crowed defiantly.
Elsa smiled saccharinely and have him his letters. She clucked her tongue and went on to mention. "Well, well, that isn't an admirable way to view your senior Letter Bee with a delivery speed you must look up to." Really, once she got started on her usual tirade, it became difficult to stop, especially in the case of irritating Moc Sullivan who never could catch a hint that no one wanted to hear his venomous words, regardless of how little he opened that pie hole of his. "Everyone looks up to Jiggy Pepper in some way, Sullivan. It wouldn't be taken well to mock a man who can shoot a Shindanjuu and ride a motorbike that also runs on heart, and a man who can destroy Gaichuu with such ease. And he is quite humble, wouldn't you say, and professional, rarely even coming to Yuusari in order to deliver letters. Is that not the dedication you pride yourself in?"
Moc glared at her, but refused to answer her entire rant. Even she found it a bit too wordy, but the reason remained that he couldn't take the truth.
Despite the fact that his words meant entirely different in the way he framed the context, to badmouth Jiggy Pepper even accidentally seemed like a misstep. And as a scholar who knew all about missteps and errors in historical documents, she found it fit to inform him of his own fallacies.
"Jiggy Pepper cares way more for his friends than his letters. It's a disappointing attitude to have," Moc elaborated with a small frown. "Leaving his dingo here while he's out on deliveries?"
"Yet, despite that he has served the Hive well. Do motives matter so much when observing the large picture?" Elsa defended, irate yet managing to keep a cool head. Besides the pencil she felt about to snap in her hands. "Additionally, one perspective is never correct. Or perhaps they are both correct. I cannot deny your skill as a Letter Bee nor your professionalism. However, people entrust their words to Bees, in this desolate world of Gaichuu and cold isolation. Words are important and full of feelings, so do the feelings of the one carrying the letter, the burden of the Letter Bee, mean nothing?"
"Your view is too similar to Lag Seeing's. All that matters is that the letter gets to the hand of the recipient. That's our job, no more, no less," he explained, not at all swayed by her words. "Getting involved, having your own feelings, is unnecessary. What would you know about a Bee's burden anyway?" he muttered, taking the stack of letters and heading off without even a goodbye.
Perhaps, her last statement had been out of line. Carrying a heavy mailbag, trekking across Amberground with nothing but a Dingo for company, she didn't know any of that. But Jiggy's letter mentioned that a Letter Bees heart was important. What did that mean then? He also mentioned weakness, falling prey to heart.
The more she thought about his words, the more confused she became, especially when comparing his words to Moc Sullivan who found heart inconsequential. She wondered how that could be, considering the very importance of the presence of heart in Amberground.
Elsa did not understand the most integral element to the history of Amberground, then. It hurt, thinking about it that way. She placed her head on the desk, feeling the cool wood against her cheek before sighing.
"Thanks for taking care of Harry." She blinked and looked up immediately into the eyes of Jiggy, much to her shock. Harry already flew off towards him and perched on his arm. From the corner of her vision, she saw Zazie looking at him in awe, whispering loudly about it to his friend, Connor. Jiggy continued, "I completed my deliveries."
"R-Right," she stuttered uncharacteristically before sitting herself down and marking the completions for his deliveries. Her hands trembled and she still felt that fury from dealing with Moc for too long a time. The boy truly was unbearable, treating his elders that way. "We'll assign your next deliveries before you go out next time, Jiggy How long is your stay in Yuusari Central this time?"
"A week, maybe a little bit less. My heart needs to recover," he explained. She hummed in reply. A smell wafted from Harry's feathers. Sinner's bread. "You really haven't had anything but bread. Harry smells like it."
"For your information, I did have rice and fish a couple days ago, though with some bread. Mrs. Gobani's bread cannot be compared to." Elsa smiled and continued, "Well, you're all set. It's best you rest at home. You look rather exhausted." And she did notice, even if Jiggy wasn't in the habit of showing his weakness. His skin looked paler than usual and his gaze remained slightly unfocused, and if she concentrated, she could see the beginning of bags forming under his admittedly pretty eyes. "If you continue overexerting yourself, you'll ruin your handsome face," she teased.
Jiggy didn't dignify her with an answer to that, knowing by now that she liked to tease. "I'll do that." He glanced at her writing something down on a sheet of paper before mentioning, with a miniscule smile on his face, "I didn't need the defense, but thanks."
Elsa grew flustered, realizing he heard at least a portion of the conversation she had with Moc Sullivan, and coughed. "Everyone should acknowledge your skills as a Bee. It's unquestioned, even by a theoretical perspective as I've never seen you in action." She thought back to his letter then, and mentioned, "And your letter taught me a little bit…"
"My reason for becoming a Bee means I follow my own path. I don't care what people think," he responded nonchalantly. "I told you I'd treat you. I'll meet you here tomorrow."
"But you're the cool and aloof type, my dear Express Bee. Invitations to dinner don't particularly seem your style." Elsa smirked. He did have a strong dedication to his career and remained both rebellious and enigmatic, while composed, traits Zazie admired him for. Hearing his words made her wonder, what made him choose? Zazie had his own reason, Jiggy had his, and for that, it seemed a more sentimental job than Moc, an anomaly, made it seem. "Or is it?"
"Really?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Invitations are another form of a letter. Words face to face are the same as words written on paper. If we've done that, then I don't see anything unlike me to invite you anywhere." He looked her over once with that sharp gaze of his. Elsa noted that again, he was being cryptic. "You're looking thin too."
"Thank you for pointing out a woman's flaws again." Elsa chuckled, noting that he indeed did seem like the caring type. Perhaps someone like him truly didn't realize that he made people like Zazie melt with his apparent enigmatic nature that cropped up to others as acting cool. He just seemed like a bit of an oddball, an eccentric, really. "But that's fine. I do have a few questions for you. Zazie Winters reminded me that you ride that super cool Iron Horse of yours. I'd like to know more about it."
She couldn't help but quote Zazie on that just for fun. His hero worship of this man made her laugh.
Jiggy shrugged and replied coolly, "It's nothing special. I'd give you a ride on it, but I can't since I've been on the road longer than usual."
"No, no I just want to know how it works out of curiosity," Elsa responded. Really, she did like the conversations they shared, even over letter. Most people thought of her as an immediate nut just for talking so much about strange things no one seemed to care about. "I know you're not fond of talking, but thank you for humouring me. Where shall I meet you tomorrow?"
"No big deal," Jiggy replied, absently scratching Harry under the neck so the bird crowed. "You'll be working in the library, right?" She nodded in affirmative. "I'll meet you there."
"But where will we be going for dinner?" she questioned curiously.
He thought about that for a moment, wondering where to go or why he even decided to go in the first place. Maybe he wanted to know why she always chose to eat bread. Or maybe that meeting at Prayer Hill and the letters brought some kind of routine to his hectic life. He didn't know. But he wanted to know.
After all, if he let things run their course, he'd eventually get where he needed to be.
It was strange to talk, since he never really talked much, maybe because not that many people willingly talked to him. Jiggy admitted that his social skills were a little lacking. Maybe he wanted something different in Yuusari.
"Doesn't matter to me, we can decide later," he told her. She'd been about to open her mouth when he cut her off, "Until tomorrow, Elsa Marchen," he gave her a salute and a lazy smile before leaving. Elsa wondered what happened.
"Jeez, I'm so jealous. Spending time with Jiggy and listening to his advice too!" Zazie gushed to Connor who seemed to be used to it. "Did you see how cool that was? 'Until then, Elsa' with that smile of his. Man, he's definitely the coolest!" He sighed then. "I wish I could take his iron horse for a spin…"
"It's impossible for you, Zazie," Connor exclaimed simply, biting into an apple. "It takes a lot of heart!"
"S-Shut up!" Zazie responded, frowning.
Some things never changed. Though the more that Zazie wanted to ride Jiggy's motorcycle, the more she wanted to know how he managed to keep it up for so long. Any normal Bee, if they attempted it, would have long lost their heart. But Jiggy kept going without faltering once.
Jiggy met her, as promised, after her shift ended late, in the library. Elsa finished shelving the books quickly, already feeling her stomach growling. It reminded her of the days back in Yodaka when she ate hardly anything and those weren't pleasant thoughts.
No one enjoyed thinking about poverty ridden Yodaka, so they simply ignored it, she supposed. Everyone acknowledged it to some degree, even discriminated against those from there. But never truly mentioned how difficult life managed to become there, that even surviving became a battle of fighting tooth and nail for even the simplest of resources.
The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to know why Akatsuki prospered while everyone else got by on the barest minimum. And why people didn't seem to complain openly about it.
"Perhaps we should head to Yuusari Local Pub. It's not too far out of the way," Elsa suggested, meeting him at the door to the library. "I work there some days, and drunk people aren't all too appealing when working. But I assume it'll be different going as a customer."
"Roger." They walked down the hallway and exited outside. The cool air made her shiver briefly. "It's a place where people want to get away from life. Life in Amberground isn't pleasant but they have to make do with what they have. There's no other option."
Elsa looked at the artificial sun in the distance. "It's because of that. And the unwavering belief in the Empress."
"Not only that." Jiggy shook her head in disagreement with what she said. "Coffee without sugar and milk is always dark and bitter."
Whatever Jiggy said, he meant wholeheartedly. Elsa knew that he only knew how to get his thoughts across in a different manner, perhaps based on experience and analogies. Even on Prayer Hill when she talked about her confusion with letters he simply replied, 'You'll know when you get one' and left it that. She hadn't a clue to his intentions to send her one ever. When they talked about Gaichuu, he defended his views as concisely as possible, making her feel like the fool for her insensitivity. But he remained mysterious in a number of ways in how he spoke.
She wondered if though, he'd never become good at public speaking, he'd write famous novels or books of philosophy. Despite the fact that he said he didn't have the best words, she only found the difference in his words, and a difference did not constitute it as bad.
She rescinded her thought that he was bad with words. Simply awkward.
"Life would be dark and dreary without her?" Elsa guessed, looking at his expression to see where she went wrong.
He nodded in reply. "She's our base for everything. Because we never lived without her things would be darker than they already are and people need something to believe in. We're not ready to have our foundation taken away."
"You know Jiggy, you are making me more and more interested," she teased. She placed her hands in her pockets, trying to fight out the cold. "Your words make me feel like I'm reading a good book."
Jiggy opened the door to the Yuusari Local Pub, and she followed in behind him. The atmosphere at the pub seemed the same as always, though Elsa felt a little odd not taking orders as she usually did. The bar as usual homed a few rowdy customers with too much beer in their systems, as well as family and friends who just wanted to talk for a while and romantic couples gushing to each other, cooing in a way that made her want to vomit, saying 'Honey' this and 'Baby' that.
She grabbed a seat with Jiggy at a small circular table and picked up a menu, deciding what to order then. Her hands warmed up considerably inside the bar. She wondered if the reason that people went here included the fact that they didn't need to look upon the artificial sun and for once the world didn't seem lonely, when looking at other drunk people gossiping about trivial matters.
"Oh, you're here as a customer this time, Elsa?"
She looked up and saw the bartender, an older man with a scruffy beard who often stood up for her when the boss found it fit to scold.
"Just for today," she told him with a smile. "I wanted to see what it was like, coming here as a customer instead of serving people as an employee. Work has been difficult these days and I needed a bit of a break. Jiggy here was kind enough to treat me."
"Forgot you worked at the Hive." The bartender looked to Jiggy Pepper who looked through the options available to him on the menu. He scratched his chin and continued, "Nice to see you, Mr. Jiggy Pepper. Your reputation spreads far and wide." He gave the both of them glasses, and poured water for them both. "I'm not sure Elsa's told you, right?" Elsa sighed, knowing what he wanted to say and Jiggy looked at him curiously. "Wasn't 'bout you specifically, but Elsa's got such a huge respect for Letter Bees. Gave these guys who came in a lecture for talking bad about them. Talked all about the importance of letters. Kind of touching." He chuckled a bit before asking, "So, what can I get you two."
"I'll have a shrimp panini," Elsa muttered, embarrassed. She averted her eyes from Jiggy's. "And a glass of red wine, please."
"Shepherd's pie with French onion soup. Thanks," Jiggy said coolly as usual.
"Great, then I'll be right back before you kids get hungry." With that, the bartender walked off to give the order to the chef and left Elsa behind to drown in her mortification.
Truly, she didn't know why she was embarrassed, only knew that she did what had been right at the time that those ignoramus' came into the bar. But to have a Letter Bee find out about it made her seem much more altruistic than she knew she truly acted much of the time.
"You learned a lot about letters," Jiggy commented lightly, noticing how embarrassed she seemed. "It helped answer your questions. Your defense of us came twice."
"Well, I wouldn't say it answered all my questions, only that I learned letters are important because you need some way to communicate with those you're not close to geographically or else it is impossible to live in such an isolating world." The bartender returned a short while later with her wine, which she sipped slowly. "I don't know what heart is, truly. I know that Letter Bees use heart bullets, but I'm uncertain as to the true nature of 'heart'. I know Letter Bees carry an important burden though and their jobs shouldn't be mocked."
Even by Moc, she thought with a laugh.
"Heart is your essence – your emotions, everything that's you. Everything has heart. Bees carry the heart of someone to give to another as a message," Jiggy explained. He remembered the letters he wrote to her and thought about how it could have been mistaken for nothing. "Even my letters had heart in them. I wanted you to experience what it felt like getting a letter. That's definitely the heart that you saw and I meant."
"Then you sacrifice all of that when fighting Gaichuu and simply performing your duty. Isn't it a frightening thought to know that you could die in the same way that a victim of a Gaichuu dies, except that it's self-inflicted?" Her grip tightened around the glass of wine. His explanation did clarify for her what heart was, and she suspected his answer. She knew what having no heart did to a person. "What makes Letter Bees sacrifice themselves, I wanted to know. Zazie Winters told me that each Letter Bee has their own unique reason for wanting to do what they do and not all are easily open about it. However, you'll have to forgive my impudence when I ask you, why did you become a Bee, Jiggy?"
"Your reason for choosing to become a Bee overshadows your fear. Because we're not wearing blindfolds, we're not scared. We're aware of it," Jiggy elaborated slowly. It proved true for him, at least. He didn't know about other Bees, but knowledge of the fact that he could lose his heart because of his job and shooting a Shindanjuu made him fear it less, probably because he did it himself. "I became a Letter Bee to become strong," he answered simply. It didn't seem like he'd elaborate more than that, but then he said, "It was for my siblings. Then and now."
"Was?" she cocked her head in confusion. "Did you mean to put that in past tense?"
"It still is," Jiggy said solemnly. He knew she didn't mean to ask, he could tell just by the way she bit her lip and suddenly adopted a sort of nervousness she never had before, not with her usual composure. "Don't worry about it. If I didn't want to answer, I wouldn't." He could only say that to her to tell her that he knew she meant no harm by it, even if he recognized that the peaceful atmosphere they had disappeared entirely as the conversation began. Elsa became more aware of how her questions hurt others, even if she jumped the gun most of the time. "I don't care."
Elsa scolded herself for setting another unintentional landmine for an unsuspecting individual, with her untactful words. She knew what that meant, as so many in Yodaka did. One of his siblings died. He still had someone to live for, but one of them died.
They saw enough death in Yodaka, from illness, from Gaichuu, from starvation, Elsa herself remembered it all, just how many people she saw die. To think that one of Jiggy's siblings died like all those people she saw die in Yodaka hurt her a little. Sometimes, she wondered how people like him kept going, but then she realized as soon as he mentioned that he had another sibling, that he had no choice but to become strong. He kept looking forward because he needed to believe. Coffee without sugar and milk was dark and bitter, always.