Dr. Odenlenski was more than understanding about my outburst which only made me feel guiltier.

Especially since I didn't accept the therapist she tried to refer me too.

I took the paper but I couldn't promise her that I'd use it.

It's not like I don't want to get better.

I want to be back to my normal old self...I just can't remember what normal is for me. This is my new normal, being afraid, my emotions flying everywhere, now knowing what to expect from one moment to the next. I guess that last one is a part of life but I've never had to spend so much time wondering what more can happen to me.

Sitting around, talking with a stranger, is the last thing I want to do right now.

"Did you talk to your mother?" Dimitri asks, jarring me from my thoughts as we drive to his self defense gym.

The thought of my conversation with my mother is another thing I want to put off thinking about. I answer him anyway, vaguely, "Yeah."

He glances at me quickly before looking back at the road.

"It...didn't go as I expected but it could've been worse," I kind of lie.

The fact that my mother hadn't offered to do anything at all to help me was pretty much a worse case scenario.

"What about you? Is your family mad that you're helping me?" I ask, changing the subject.

"No. I was talking to my mother when I picked you up and she's actually happy that you have someone helping you. I think my mother is still in shock about Victoria. Even after having to go to the police station and everything she can't believe this has happened," he told me, never once taking his eyes off the road.

"Yeah, I think my mother's in shock too," I mumble.

This time I could feel Dimitri glance at me, probably expecting me to elaborate but I didn't say anything. I'd never seen my mother like this and I wasn't even sure I could describe it even if I wanted to. She'd been through a lot and not once had she let any of it get the best of her.

Now, she was so out of character I didn't know what to do.

I decided that thinking about my mother was one thing I could put off for a while. So I focused on the second most prominent though in my mind: the examination and that at least that part is over and done with.

But not for Lissa and Victoria, I can't help but think, if they ever come around.

Maybe they won't have to though.

Maybe there will be enough of a case from me to put all of this to an end without Victoria or Lissa having to go through this. Do I hate them for not helping me, for not speaking up and making this a tiny bit easier? No, I don't hate them. I understand them, I'm upset, but I don't hate them. Maybe this is where fate comes into play and, like Dimitri said, I'm supposed to be the winner, the one who comes out on top, a sort of hero meant to make others feel better.

I hope that's the case.

"You're making your finger bleed," Dimitri says.

We're at a red light and he's looking at the thumb nail I'd been nibbling on for a while now and was now bleeding where the skin tore.

He reaches into his glove compartment and pulls out a Band-Aid. A few papers and things fall out when he does this and I bend to pick them up. The last thing I'm about to replace in the glove compartment is a photo. I didn't really know Victoria before any of this had happened but I was able to recognize her in the old photo. She had to be about seven or eight and she was standing with her arms spread wide over her head, her mouth completely open and smiling like she'd been yelling, and she was wearing the brightest clothes any child could wear in the middle of the front yard of her house.

I smiled a little at the photo.

And then the smile fell away because there was a chance she'd never smile like this again.

I felt sad for her.

I felt sad for Liss.

I felt sad for myself.

I hoped at least one of us would be able to really smile like this again, one of would seem this happy.

Dimitri, trying to open the Band-Aid while steering, glances at the photo in my hand. A ghost of a smile passes over his face.

"I honestly cant tell you when that picture was taken because there're a lot of photos like that...a least before Ivan and our father died."

"This is a good picture," I say, wondering if there're any photos of me like this that my mother keeps nearby.

Dimitri hands me the Band-Aid and I stick the photo back into his glove compartment before putting the Band-Aid on.

"I hope my sister smiles like that again," he says, almost voicing my thoughts aloud.

"I hope all of us smile like that again," I reply. "You wanna know what I kept thinking about during the examination? I kept thinking if Lissa and your sister would have to go through this, being examined by a doctor and feeling violated all over again, if they ever decide to come forward...and then I decided I wouldn't want them to. I don't want them to feel open for the whole world to see." I take a deep breath before I continue, saying everything I'd been thinking about moments before. "Maybe it's better if I do this alone without Liss or Victoria having to get involved. Maybe they'll smile like this again after all of this is over and I take care of everything."

There's a long silence where Dimitri seems to be thinking my words over. It isn't until we're at his self defense studio that he says anything.

"Not a lot of people would want to take anything like this own their own let alone for two other people. You're a strong person Rose," he says as he helps me out of his car with my bad ankle and we make our way inside. "But Victoria and Lissa made their decisions and even though none of you had a choice in any of this, they're already involved. This is too big of a situation for anyone to try and take on their own. It wouldn't be good for you."

He sits me down in a chair facing one of the early afternoon classes led by a young instructor as he goes into his office for a minute.

Dimitri's right of course...and wrong at the same time.

I shouldn't fight the battles of others.

This was different though.

In this case, we had the same enemies and fears to face, the same battle to win and if two out of three of us didn't have to suffer because one of us was willing to do all the fighting then so be it.

Dimitri comes out of his office and sets up a chair next to my own. He hands me a list of names.

"I figure I can help take some of the pressure off of you and your mother having to worry over finding an affordable but good lawyer. These are a few old contacts back from my police days. I'm not sure they'll work pro-bono but it's a few names that you and your mother can look into. If you really want to fight for Lissa and Victoria then at least you should have some proper representation. And me of course."

I took the paper tentatively and at that moment couldn't manage yet another thank you for Dimitri after everything else he's done from the smallest of actions to the biggest so I just nodded and managed a smile. He returned the smile and then stood, saying he'd be back after he checked on his instructors.

I held the list tightly in my hand long after he walked away and smiled.

At least there is one person who I know will always come through for me.

A/N: Thanks for letting me know what story I was looking for. So happy I finally found it but disappointed it hasn't been recently updated. Anyways, thanks for the reviews and the next few chapters I plan on picking up the pace a little and raising a little hell. I'll update soon (with longer chapters).