I haven't seen my mother since she left me at the police station.

Normal teenage girls worry when their mothers don't come home - especially when more than a day has passed - but I accepted a while ago that I'm not normal.

After what Adrian, Jesse, and Ralph did, after my mother decided she couldn't handle what was going on with me, after I kissed Dimitri, a man who was just trying to help me, I accepted that I'll never be normal.

Believe it or not, my mother's taken off before, for days at a time, but it didn't really bother me as much as it did this time because I had my grandmother. I remember my mother being gone and later telling me that it was for work but I was young enough not to really be bothered by it because for one thing she was gone at work all the time anyway and I had my grandma to keep my company.

As I got older my mother didn't leave for days as often but when she did she'd call once to remind me to eat and get myself to school and I knew she'd be home eventually. I always figured she deserved the occasional break and it gave me more time to party with Liss and our 'friends'.

Everybody was happy.

This time, I worried she wouldn't come home.

This time she left because she couldn't deal with me.

I worried so much I thought about asking Officer Alto to look for her when he called to check in daily but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Asking for help finding her meant she might not come back on her own. I decided to wait.

Surprisingly, I still went to work at the studio everyday. Christian would pick me up and drop me off, explaining that Dimitri was trying to deal with a few personal things. Christian didn't know about the kiss and I was going to keep it that way. I wondered if the 'personal things' had to do with his family or if Dimitri was just trying to stay away from me.

I wouldn't blame him if I drove him away. That's becoming a new habit for me, driving people away.

My mother, Dimitri...

Instead of thinking about either of them, I tried to distract myself with the work at the studio. I was grateful of the two officers that kept the media from coming too close but I knew that if this whole thing went to trial like Officer Alto hoped it would, the media would only get worse. I could only hope they never find where I live but that's just wishful thinking.

Another part of my wishful thinking list is thinking I'd sit alone in my house on Saturday letting the tv distract me since the studio is closed today and Christian has one of his cooking classes. I was ready for the first time in a long time to sit on my couch, turn on the tv, and spend the weekend either sleeping or watching tv.

And then the phone rings.

"Rose?" my mother asks as if anyone else might be in our house answering the phone.

It's a second before I answer. I just listen to her uneven breathing and the weird note in her voice that tells me she's probably crying and she's probably drunk.

"Where are you?"

Her voice shakes before she answers. "I'm s-s-so sorry..."

How did this happen? How did my mother get like this or has she always been this way?

Before I can think to say anything else, there's a knock at my door.

"It's me...," a soft voice says from the other side.

I pause, unsure if it's really who I think it is. "Liss?" I whisper to myself.

My mother sniffles on the other end of the phone and asks, "Lissa's there?"

I ignore her and look through the window beside the door and see Lissa standing in front of the door expectantly. She anxiously looks over her shoulder repeatedly and is practically bouncing on her heels, her dark brows furrowed.

As much as I can tell myself I'm mad at her for betraying me, for leaving me to endure this alone and as many times as I've darkly fantasized about Lissa getting a taste of karma, of the pain I've been through...I can't leave her standing on my doormat looking as lost as I feel most of the time.

Hesitantly I open the door.

She looks even worse now that we're face to face, much worse than the last time she came here.

Her hair looks like a bird's nest, her clothes dishevelled and torn in some places, and there are a few scratches and bruises making an appearance on her face.

"C-can I come in? P-please c-can you let me in?" Her voice shakes and she's trembling like a thin branch in the wind.

For a second, it's like I'm looking in a mirror. She looks just how I must've looked when I came home that night.

Suddenly, the night of the attack seems so long ago and it's almost darkly, ironically funny that between the two of us, I seem to be the okay one while she looks...

Hurt? Lost? Broken?

I can't even think of the proper word for it.

I move aside and let her in.

"Rose?" My mother's sniffling but concerned voice says from the phone. "What...what's going on?"

I shut the front door and lean against it.

The day I went to the police station with Dimitri was the day I decided to stop running; I decided since then to face my darkest fears, and be strong for all the other women -Liss, Viktoria, my mother - around me that couldn't be.

I had a few weak moments where I let Charlie get to me, the media overwhelm me, and I kissed the one person who chose to help me no matter what ruining a good friendship.

Despite those weak moments, looking at Lissa who's pacing in my kitchen and listening to my mother's soft sobs on the phone, I realize that this is really the moment that someone is going to have to step up without letting anything bring them down and be the strong one.

I think about what Dimitri might tell me to say to my mother.

He'd tell me to be honest and straight forward I imagine.

"I know all of this is really hard for you to handle," I tell my mother, lowering my voice so Lissa won't hear. "And...I'll be honest, I wish you were here being the mother I always thought you were but considering the circumstances I can understand how this is difficult to handle."

I sound so much like my old self, a little confident, that I push myself to continue speaking, even when I hear my mother start to interrupt.

"I think it'll be best for both of us if you just take a few days or...as long as you need to pull yourself together. All these years you've worked nonstop and rarely took a moment for yourself so...here's your chance. The timing and reasons suck," I laugh nervously ,"but it might be better this way. Hopefully, when you come back, all of this will be over."

The last part was partly a lie.

We both know this isn't going to be over for a long time.

Still...there's hope.

For a long time I just listen to her breathing and the background noise of what I think is a tv. A moment passes where I think she'll stop sniffling and sobbing and she'll tell me I'm wrong and that she'll be home as soon as she can so that we can go through this together. I realize though that as much as it would be nice to hear her say it, I don't need to hear it.

I'll be fine on my own.

"Okay...Th-th-that sounds good actually. I just... I just need a day or two and then I'll be back. Things will be better. I'll call everyday. I-I-I love you, Rose."

I start to nod but realize she can't see me. "I know." I look up and see Lissa has stopped her pacing and has settled herself at the kitchen table and is occasionally glancing at me. "Take care of yourself mom."

And then I hang up.

I take a deep breath.

I head toward Liss sitting in my kitchen, ready to face the next hardship the world's decided to deal to me.

Five hours we've sat in my kitchen not talking.

After hanging up with my mother I went into the kitchen and instead of asking that annoying question 'are you okay?' that doesn't solve anything or make anyone feel better, I asked if she wanted something to eat or drink.

She shook her head but I made her a cup of hot chocolate anyway and she ended up drinking most of it before looking like she was going to be sick.

When I did ask if she was going to be okay, she nodded slowly and nibbled on a bit of the fruit I laid out in front of her.

I would've pushed and asked what she was doing here. I wanted to. Despite my resolve to be the strong helpful one no matter what, I still felt angry and Liss and I had every right to.

But I didn't like seeing her like this.

So I let her sit in silence in my kitchen for five hours. It's not like I had anything better to do. While she sat, I sat with her and flipped through old magazines my mom left lying around, I did a few dishes, mopped the floor, and then started laying out supplies for dinner.

Feeling like I'd given her enough time to silently mull over whatever it was that was bothering her, I said without turning around, "Those scrapes and bruises look pretty bad. We should probably take you to the hospital or something."

When she didn't say anything, I finally turned around and saw her shake her head, her platinum blonde hair swaying with the motion.

"Are you here to talk?"

There was a brief pause and she nodded.

I closed the fridge and sat down at the table again, sitting beside her.

"Do you remember my fourteenth birthday?" She asks kind of out of left field.

I didn't see where this was going but I nod anyway. "Yeah, your parents let you have that big party since André would be leaving for college soon and high school was about to start."

She flinched when I mentioned her older brother's name, André that had died in a car accident a few months later. Ever since then her parents had dealt with their grief by working nonstop and ignoring the child they had left.

That was kind of something Lissa and I bonded over, that we had parents that worked more than they spent time with us. My mother was around more often than Lissa's parents were but she was gone enough that Lissa and I had our own little family, just me and her. We were all that mattered.

Lissa mostly dealt with Andre's death by grieving for a while before making it her mission to make something of herself in high school, do what he did and become someone important and memorable by joining the popular crowd.

"It was also at that party that we met Adrian, Camille and the rest of the 'popular' crowd for the first time," I pointed out, remembering that it was André, who had been popular himself, that had invited them. Not to mention Lissa's parents had become friends with the Ivashkovs.

Lissa laughed dryly. "The party that we said would 'change our lives forever'."

I laughed dryly along with her. "I guess we were right."

We sat remembering for a second before I spoke again. "Can I ask you something?"

She nodded.

"You think if you would've never had that party, everything would've been different?"

She leans back in her chair and stares up at the ceiling. "I think you and I would've tried out for cheerleading, we would've started our own clique with Mia and Jill when we didn't make the team," she laughed and for the first time I really laughed with her. "I think...I think we would've made fun of the 'popular' clique. I think André would still be alive...It'd be like that saying where if you kill a butterfly it can alter the future. Everything would be different."

"We'd still be friends," I mused.

Lissa started to smile softly and then her face fell and she started crying. Full on body racking sobs that shook my entire kitchen table.

I patted her awkwardly on the shoulder because I wasn't really sure where our friendship stood or even why she was here.

"If I didn't have that stupid party, Adrian would have never...he wouldn't have...I can't believe what he did to me! To all of us," she cried. "I-I've been watching the news and reading all the newspaper's that are talking about you. I tried to ignore it all and I just kept doing what Camille and Jesse said to do and ignore it. All we did was party and drink and I'd ignore it. It's getting a little harder to pretend that nothing happened, that everything's okay," she sobbed.

I handed her a napkin to wide her face but she just crumpled it in her hand and turned in her chair to face me directly.

"I'm so sorry!" she wailed. "I tried to pretend everything was okay but everything is even worse now than before!"

I took another napkin and dabbed at her face, careful not to touch the bruises and red scratches on her face.

"What are you talking about Liss? Who did this to you? What happened?"

She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes shut while more tears streamed down her cheeks. Her hair was starting to stick to her face and I brushed it away so that I could see her clearly. I knew then that no matter how mad I am at Liss, I can't ignore it when she's hurting.

That's kind of the reason I ended up in this situation in the first place.

Someone hurt my best friend and I tried to help her no matter what.

Some things never change.

"Rose...I...is it too late? I w-want to help! I have to go to the police, I should've done it a long time ago but I have to do something now! You have to help me," she sobbed in loud rapid shouts.

"Lissa slow down, what's going on?"

I could understand that guilt had finally taken its toll on Lissa but there was something else going on here, another reasons he was so freaked out and I want to know what it is.

She bit her bottom lip and looked down into her lap fiddling with the napkin I gave her.

She mumbled something but her voice was too low for me to hear.

"What?" I asked leaning close to hear.

She mumbled again.

"I don't understand you. You're stagnant?"

She shook her head but finally looked up at me crying softly and gently said...

"I'm...pregnant."

A/N: Okay I know, random twist at the end there! But it's all apart of the story! XD I wanna thank you guys yet again for the reviews/favorites/follows/and just viewing this story at all. I also want to remind you guys that of course there's a love story in here under all this angsty drama, it's just taking me a while to get there.