Chapter Twenty Three
It was a pizza with everything on it. Loaded with meat and vegetables and even more cheese and it was far too much for Makoto to eat by himself. Makoto had only taken out one large slice, picking at the mushrooms and peppers rather than eating it as he waited in the pizza shop, his leg jiggling up and down as he watched through the large window for Sousuke.
Makoto didn't know if Sousuke would show up. He had no guarantees but Makoto was hopeful his message in Tracks had been received and he hoped that maybe with Rin's nudging, Sousuke might just give him a chance to explain himself and apologise. It was all Makoto wanted. A chance.
The issue of Tracks had been published the day before and the message was simple.
Mr. Tall, Dark and Tattooed. I'm sorry. Meet me at the pizza place at 1.00pm tomorrow so I can explain. I miss you. Mr. Green Eyes and Glasses.
It was accepted for publication without a hitch and Nagisa had informed him gleefully that it had been discussed on social media, the story of Mr. Tall, Dark and Tattooed and Mr. Green Eyes and Glasses becoming some sort of tale of two fictional characters. It seemed they'd captured some people's imaginations as it had been debated what Mr. Green Eyes and Glasses could've done to hurt Mr. Tall Dark and Tattooed. When Nagisa had shown him a few tweets, Makoto had almost wanted to throw up but then he figured no one knew it was him and Sousuke apart from their friends and the people knew nothing. It seemed most of them just wanted Mr. Tall, Dark and Tattooed to accept Makoto's apology.
Sighing, Makoto looked at the clock on the wall – a novelty clock shaped like a pizza with pepperoni numbers –and then back to the actual pizza. It was 1.16pm. Sousuke was late. Makoto knew he was being hopeful and the most likely scenario was he wasn't coming at all but he wasn't letting himself be pessimistic and give up. He was sure Sousuke would've seen the Rush Hour Crush page – he'd messaged him to tell him it was being printed and Makoto had also asked Haru to inform Rin of it so he could help. But he supposed no matter what he did or Rin did, Sousuke had to make the decision to come and accept his apology.
And no one but Sousuke could decide that.
"You want a drink?"
Makoto looked up and saw the owner of the shop, the friend of Sousuke's who he couldn't recall his name, and he nodded out of his reverie. Out of his depressing reverie. Makoto gave a half-hearted smile.
"Some water, I guess."
As much as he would've loved some strong liquor or a beer, hell, even a fizzy drink with a plentiful hit of caffeine, Makoto opted for water to try and calm the butterflies in his stomach as he tried not to resign himself to the idea that Sousuke wasn't coming. Not only that, he probably never was.
A few moments later, the guy arrived, pushing towards Makoto a bottle of water and then sitting across for him in the spot that was intended for Sousuke. Makoto didn't make that point as it would only highlight how Sousuke wasn't coming and he only thanked him as he reached for one of the slices of his own pizza.
"You know… after whatever," he said, punctuating the "whatever" with a wave of hand and a mouthful of pizza, "Sou didn't come outta his apartment for like three days. He called in sick for work and I hadda do all the damn deliveries and run the whole shop…"
Makoto frowned at that information. "Sousuke works here?"
The guy gave a small "yeah" to confirm and then took another bite before going back into his story. Makoto wanted a moment to process that Sousuke worked as a pizza delivery boy considering the amount of talent he had but he wasn't allowed that.
"And so Rin and me… we decided we hadda make the idiot get outta his apartment but he wouldn't let us in… so we broke down the door… We still owe him money for that," he said, a chuckle on his lips at the thought of the broken door and Makoto couldn't see how that was so damn funny. "He's stubborn is what I'm saying… so damn stubborn…"
"And also here, Gorou."
The voice came from behind and it sounded deep and ominous and Makoto looked up to see Sousuke for the first time since outside the Penguin Club.
Gorou turned around to see Sousuke and Makoto could almost feel his glare from through the thick sunglasses that were perched on his nose. The hint was obvious and Gorou stood up, scratching at the back of neck and smiling apologetically.
"Just making conversation," he said as he seemed to scuttle back to the kitchen, Makoto watching him leave rather than look closely at Sousuke as he sat down in front of him.
Makoto dared to look at Sousuke through his eyelashes, looking up at him shyly as suddenly being back in the same room together with how things were left between them was harder than he anticipated.
He watched as Sousuke removed those large black wayfarer sunglasses and Makoto could see even from the way he was watching from the corners of his eyes that Sousuke looked like he'd not slept properly for a while. Neither had Makoto. And last night he'd barely slept at all – after his first shift back at the Penguin Club, all he'd done was stare at the ceiling in his bed, occasionally trying to sleep but being mostly unsuccessful in those attempts. As each time he'd drifted off, he'd woken up with a start, his stomach nauseous and his head thumping from over tiredness.
Daring to look up more, Makoto met Sousuke's eyes, those blue that seemed to twinkle even underneath the cheap lighting of the pizza place and Makoto looked away to at his picked over pizza slice on his paper plate.
"You work here, huh?"
It was merely a conversation starter but Sousuke grunted and reached out for a slice, taking a big bite even though it had started to cool and was less appetising than it had been.
"Actually asking me?" Sousuke retorted and then it seemed like he realised how harsh his tone was as he sighed and Makoto watched him put down the slice and run a hand through his hair, a sign of awkwardness that was endearing. "I don't mean… yeah, I do."
Makoto thought it was a pretty neutral conversation topic and he dared to look more closely at Sousuke, taking in all the details he had forgotten in their time apart and he tried to give a small smile and cock of head even though he could feel the butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
"I needed a job when we were starting out with the band and when I left it… I kept it. Pays the rent."
Nodding, Makoto understood that and he picked for a piece of mushroom off his picked over slice.
"Plus I get free pizza and he doesn't make me wear a dorky uniform like some places. Win win."
Makoto smiled at the image of Sousuke in a pizza delivery boy uniform, suddenly feeling a little more at ease with him than he had previously. He still had the butterflies in his stomach but maybe not as many.
"I'm sorry," Makoto said after a few beats of silence that seemed to reverberate around the pizza place. He even reached out his hand tentatively, unsure, across the plastic table, his fingers retreating suddenly out of insecurity as he didn't know whether that action was too much.
Maybe it was. Makoto had plenty to apologise for as he remembered Kisumi and the way his lips had tasted of pool water and how hot and heavy they had got on the side of the pool. And he swallowed, his throat seeming dry as he looked up to see Sousuke staring at where Makoto's hand was poised across the table.
"I know," Sousuke murmured, voice raw and hoarse, "and I know I… struggle to tell people things…but…I need trust with you if this - "
"I kissed my ex," Makoto blurted out, the guilt at the memory of Kisumi on his tongue making him say it without even consciously thinking about it. Sousuke only raised an eyebrow, his mouth opening slightly and Makoto continued to blurt out the sorry tale – returning home, the twins, the pool… the cool water on his skin and the way Kisumi had been so easy and reassuring and there.
After Makoto finished speaking, there was the uncomfortable silence again and Makoto shifted in his seat as Sousuke said nothing. He had propped his elbows against the table, his chin resting on them and Makoto gave up on his shifting, reaching for his bag under the table and getting up to leave. He fumbled with his coat, his scarf, trying to leave in a "cool" fashion, trying to walk out the door like he was in control and his body wasn't shaking and he wasn't close to tears. He wasn't going to cry as damn it, the whole situation was Makoto's fault.
Giving up with his clothing and fumbling, Makoto stepped to leave but found his body meeting an unyielding force and he looked up to see it was Sousuke. It was the first time they'd touched since the night that Sousuke had walked away and just being able to feel him, smell him, made Makoto wish he'd not been such an idiot.
"Was he better?"
Makoto heard the question but only looked into Sousuke's eyes, his brain trying to comprehend what he'd been asked. He'd expected some anger – some kind of tirade but Sousuke's voice was clear, level and calm, deep and oddly soothing.
He must've made a small noise that conveyed his confusion as Sousuke spoke again.
"Was your ex a better kisser than me?"
"Uhh…" Makoto stammered and then shook his head, "no… nowhere near…"
"Good," Sousuke said, his head nodding, "come on… we're going somewhere else. Gorou will be listening and all this will get reported back to Rin or whatever."
With that Sousuke started to walk away and Makoto was drawn back to the memory of being stood outside the Penguin Club, at feeling lost and alone and hurt. That rolling sick feeling in his stomach and he remembered how Sousuke hadn't looked back. And this time he did, looked over his shoulder, those blue eyes sparkling and he gave a half smile that was unbelievably sexy.
"You coming, Makoto?"
Hesitating, adjusting his bag over his shoulder and his scarf around his neck, Makoto mumbled out a "yeah" before he followed, looking back to see Gorou stood watching and listening. Makoto wanted to ask more but Sousuke was already ahead of him, his strides long and his walk purposeful and Makoto caught up, joining him by his side.
"Where are we going?"
It was the dumbest of the questions Makoto wanted to ask – like more importantly, Makoto wanted to know whether he was forgiven or how Sousuke felt about him running into the arms of his ex but it was the most immediate question and Sousuke reached for Makoto's hand, the feel of their fingers connecting electric and reassuring.
Makoto let himself be dragged through the busy lunch time crowds, down onto the metro and back up to Ginza, the wealthy shopping area of Tokyo that Makoto was aware existed but never visited. His eyes felt even more opened than in the red light district as suddenly Makoto was surrounded by mannequins wearing clothes that were more expensive than probably every property in the whole of Iwatobi. The department stores had elaborate displays, scenes of the beach and forests and other things and Makoto blinked as a woman walked by wearing high heeled shoes that were less a piece of footwear and more of a work of art.
It was at one department store they stopped and Makoto wondered why as he read the name. Yamazaki.
He turned to see Sousuke looking at it, his arms now folded across his chest and he gave Makoto a sideways glance.
"My family name is Yamazaki. My family… own this and other stores around the country."