Chapter Twenty Four

The Ginza district had been even more eye-opening to Makoto than seeing the posters for strip clubs and other such things in the red light district of Tokyo. It hadn't helped that Sousuke had dropped a bombshell that Makoto was still trying to understand but he felt in a daze at the display of wealth and he only felt comfortable when they were back in a place that felt familiar to Makoto.

They had picked neutral territory – not the pizza place, not either apartments, not the rock club nor the Penguin Club and so they were sat in Rin's tattoo parlour, the sound of the tattoo gun reverberating and music as they sat in the small entrance to the shop surrounded by the posters of tattoos while Rin worked in the back.

Sousuke had bought coffees and Makoto had accepted it, sipping at the bitter liquid without flinching at all. They sat on the cheap pleather couches that lined the walls, Sousuke putting his feet up so that Makoto saw his new sneakers – teal and green coloured, his pose model-like, relaxed while Makoto sat hunched and awkward, looking down at the black and white tiled floor.

"Will Rin listen?" Makoto asked.

"He'll be absorbed in his work. He's got a sleeve."

Makoto supposed he was meant to understand what that meant so nodded. He guessed Sousuke meant an arm but then Makoto wasn't used to the tattoo language and he didn't want to sound dumb so he only listened to the gun, the low buzzing sound that filled the two rooms.

There was silence between them but Makoto could feel Sousuke's gaze on him as they sat in stalemate and Makoto guessed he should start the questions due to the anxiety in his gut. He did feel they had made some progress – the touching, the revelation about Sousuke and Makoto admitting his tryst with Kisumi but there was so much left unsaid and so many questions that needed answers to.

"You're rich?"

Sousuke laughed, a deep rich sound and Makoto looked up, watching the motion of his body. "No. Disinherited."

Makoto let his eyes widen as he took in that information and he saw Sousuke shake his head, moving to sit with his legs crossed rather than spread out so much. It allowed Makoto more space and he turned towards him, with one leg folded under him, the other dangling to the floor.

"I…" Sousuke sighed and he looked towards the walls, the floor, anything but Makoto, "my family are very traditional. And so a son that sucks cock was not something they wanted."

The way Sousuke spoke was glib, light-hearted, some kind of attempt at humour but Makoto could see there was a shining in his eyes that suggested it hurt more than he had admitted in those words. Makoto didn't know whether to press, whether to ask more, as he still felt like Sousuke was so far away from him – hiding and putting up some defence that he couldn't get through. He couldn't ask so all he could do was reach out, touch at Sousuke's knee through the material of his black tight jeans, the fabric worn and soft.

Sousuke stared at that hand before he looked up to meet Makoto's eye. "Fuck, don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like… shit, like you care so much."

Makoto blinked at the way Sousuke said "care" like it was a bad thing. "It's because I do care," Makoto retorted, using the same tone Sousuke had, "because I like you, because you keep only letting me get so close and I know I fucked up but Sousuke… let me in. Trust me. Have some faith in someone who might even love you."

The words had spilled out of Makoto's lips and were full of frustration and he felt a slight shake in his hands at the anger behind them. He was about to retreat, move back as he realised he'd even said the "l-o-v-e" word and it was far too damn early for that but Sousuke had hold on that hand, his big palm wrapping around Makoto's shaking fist.

"You want to know? All of it?"

Makoto nodded, feeling the prickling of tears at the corner of his eyes that were out of some frustration rather than sadness. "Tell me, please, Sousuke."

"I was fifteen, away at an Academy for gifted musicians… I fell in love with a guy. He… sent stuff to my parents. Pictures… shit like that. Said he'd out their son as gay if they didn't pay him." Sousuke shook his head as the pad of his thumb ran over Makoto's knuckles. "They paid. They paid as it was better for them that it got hushed up than admit what I was. It was more important that the board never knew… that the press never knew than dealing with me."

"Sousuke…" Makoto said softly and blue eyes looked up then, a small sardonic smirk on his face.

"Rin's family took me in. I couldn't… they wanted me to seek therapy. They wanted to change me, fuck it, so I ran away. Got my first tattoos. Became everything they never wanted. If they didn't want a gay son, I'd fuck around, if they wanted me to fit into the businessman mould, hell, I'll tattoo and pierce every inch of my body. If they wanted me to play the cello and be in a damn orchestra then I'd be a rock star. Fuck 'em."

The blurting out of everything seemed to exhaust Sousuke and he pulled away his hand, sat back and leaned his head against the wall behind him, his eyes looking up to the ceiling that had the same tiled black and white as the floor.

"Rin's family didn't give a shit about me being gay. They weren't rich like mine but… they didn't care. When Rin's dad died… it was like I lost something too. It was… worse than when I was disinherited. Worse than when my father called me a disappointment and my mother just stoodthere. Fuck… I threw myself into the band then, tried to make it happen, tried to prove stuff to my dad and follow my dream like Rin's dad always told me to."

"Why'd you give up?"

"Because… I was doing it for the wrong reason. The day we nearly got signed, I walked into my father's office and showed him what I was doing, that I was making a success of myself even if it wasn't what he wanted and he… still only saw the cock-sucking son who looked like a criminal."

The noise of the tattoo gun had stopped and Makoto looked up as Rin was in the doorway, his client getting ready to leave, the music was still on loud enough in the back room to muffle the sounds of their conversation but not now they would be in the same room. Rin gave a small cock of head to indicate he was letting out the guy and Makoto watched as a large amount of money was handed over, as some friendly words were exchanged before a guy with bright blue hair left the shop, Rin now counting the money and storing it in a small metal tin as a weird tension filled the shop.

"I'm gonna lock down the shop," Rin said, "you guys figured it out?"

Sousuke only grunted, unfurling his crossed legs so he could stand and Makoto watched him walk over to his friend, bump his shoulder and say something in his ear that Makoto couldn't make out. The respite from the intensity of their conversation gave Makoto the opportunity to check his phone and Makoto saw a message from Nagisa asking him to work.

He wasn't meant to be but then he'd missed so many shifts recently, the manager had asked him to pull extra if necessary and Makoto had agreed due to the fear of losing his income. He frowned at it, checked the time and knew he didn't have long to get home and get changed into his work clothes before he now needed to be at work.

Makoto wanted to spend more time with Sousuke but then he saw the pain and exhaustion in those bright blue eyes and maybe they needed a break from the heaviness, from the dredged up pain of his past and so confirmed he could work. He glanced up after he'd sent the message to see Sousuke stood in front of him, Makoto's distraction or Sousuke's light steps making it so he didn't hear him.

"Trouble?" he asked.

"I have to work." There was a sign of disappointment in Sousuke's eyes at that but Makoto only got his feet and shrugged. "Maybe it's for the best. I'll see you tomorrow?"

He was hopeful and his voice showed that even if it was laced with a small amount of uncertainty. Stood face to face again, Makoto had some reason to have hope and Sousuke had opened up to him a way that he hadn't expected and then he felt Sousuke's hand reach out, touch the hair at the nape of his neck, push him forward and Makoto felt the butterflies of anxiety blossom into something else entirely.

As their lips pressed together in a gentle way, Makoto let out a hushed gasp that allowed Sousuke's tongue to press into his open mouth, Makoto's tongue automatically meeting it and swirling and twining with it. It was a slow sensual kiss, re-learning each other and Makoto let his body move closer, becoming familiar with the way their groins aligned and bumped and how they chests pressed together as they fitted together in a way that Kisumi never had or never could.

"You're all made up, huh?"

Rin's voice broke up the romantic mood and Makoto realised the music had stopped and the harsh lighting was no longer on in the back room. It must've meant he had cleared up during their kiss but now, disappointingly, he was done. Sousuke ran the pad of his thumb over Makoto's lips and Makoto couldn't help letting his tongue peek out to lick at it, a move that made Sousuke's eyes flutter and breath come out in a harsh gasp.

"We have more talking to do but… " Sousuke replied to his friend, firing him a harsh glare over his shoulder.

But – there were plenty of them still. Makoto knew he had to fully explain what had happened between him and Kisumi and he still thought there were things Sousuke needed to say but there was some hope. More than that. As Makoto blushed as Sousuke stepped away realising he'd even said the "l" word, berating himself mentally for getting caught up in the moment. But that – another but – couldn't be taken back and now all Makoto could do was leave with Sousuke and Rin, stopping outside the shop at Rin locked up, Sousuke reaching for Makoto's wrist to drag him away from his friend so they could speak privately before they parted.

"I don't know what this is, Makoto," Sousuke admitted, his voice low, "but I'm glad you care so damn much."

Makoto let out the breath he'd been holding and smiled. "Tomorrow… we'll talk more. I… need to explain about my ex," Makoto mumbled, his head ducking out of the embarrassment about his action. "And we need to work out if we can have… a future."

The word future seemed so big, so broad and expansive and Sousuke didn't answer the ominous statement. Instead, he reached for Makoto's jaw, tilting his head up for a kiss, brief and sweet.

"Tomorrow."

"Yeah," Makoto answered and with no more exchanges, no more words or nods or sighs, they parted ways, walking away in different directions.

And when Makoto looked back, he saw Sousuke was looking back over his shoulder too, their eyes meeting and when Makoto's head turned forward again, he had a soft smile on his face as this time, Sousuke had looked back.