"You fainted? Really?" Lissa asked both amused and incredulous.

I had just explained everything that happened, even owning up to my feelings about liking Dimitri which wasn't much of a surprise for her.

"Yes, Liss, I fainted."

"That's so funny and unbelievable it sounds like something you'd see in one of those Disney sitcoms," she laughs, leaning back onto the pillow beside me.

"Don't remind me." Olena had explained the moment I'd woken up. She told me she'd asked Dimitri to give me a little space to breathe and he had complied on the condition that one of Stan's officers be on twenty-four hour duty at all times until Dimitri would come to take all of us home from the hospital in a couple of days. I understood that she asked him to keep a little distance for my benefit and was a tiny bit grateful that I had time to think everything through but I wouldn't mind having Dimitri around. It always unnerved me, going so long without seeing him when I have become to use to having him around.

"I think we're finally starting to get back to normal. Well...sort of," I Lissa laughed dryly. "You have a crush on your self defense instructor who is also crushing on you but Tasha has the hots for while we might go to trial against our attackers and attempted murders who put you and Christian in the hospital but I guess that's normal for us, right?"

"That's as normal as it's going to get for us," I answered. I wanted to correct her, and tell her my feelings are more than that of a crush but I knew she was just teasing. Besides, she had a little explaining of her own to do. "Speaking of Christian, did you guys have a nice sleepover?"

Lissa's eyes widened a fraction of a second before she took a deep breath and recovered. "I just felt tired. In fact I always feel tired. I'm pregnant, you know," she reminded me.

"He took pretty good care of you. He's a good guy," I told her gently. Any time I brought up Christian, Lissa would either tense up and ignore it or roll her eyes and tell me in a dry tone that he was just being nice.

"It's not like that between us. We're not like you and Dimitri crushing on each other. He's just nice."

I liked that Christian was not only nice, proving that there are still a few good guys out there but he also took good care of Liss. Sure, he took care of me too, both of us, making dinner and driving Liss to her appointments and me to work but he was more tender with Liss in a way I hadn't noticed until last night. He bought or cooked her whatever foods she was craving or just sat around keeping her company. Other than me, he was on the only other person Lissa seemed to talk to.

Lissa continued dispelling the idea of anything going on between them even though I hadn't pressed the subject. "I don't...I don't like him like that. I'll probably never like anyone like that again. Especially right now when we're going through all this crap," she mumbled, rolling onto her side to face me. "Can I ask you something? Isn't a little weird...I mean doesn't it feel..." she trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"Uncomfortable? A little inappropriate? Weird?" I guessed, trying to finished her sentence for her because in truth, I'd felt all of those things. I rolled onto my side to face Lissa the same way.

Liss nodded "Don't you think if people find out that you and Dimitri have a thing for each other, people are going to look at you weird? Don't you feel weird? You were raped just like I was, just like Viktoria was, and you're already crushing on someone? Don't you think that's a little weird with what we're dealing with?"

She isn't asking all of these questions to be mean, I can understand that much. In fact, she sounds just as confused as I feel. It was one of first times I'd ever heard her use the word 'rape'. Everyone pretty much tiptoed around it including us. Somehow, saying it made it seem more real. I was glad Lissa was asking all of this questions, though. Even when she use to jokingly suggest that I liked Dimitri, I don't think she thought anything would ever come of it. I'm happy though. She's opening up and talking to me instead of shutting herself off the way she use to. We're talking like the best friends we use to be, roles we somehow easily fell into again.

I shrug a little and answer," Weird doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm a little scared. I like Dimitri. A lot," I add, with a nervous laugh making both of us laugh. "I like him but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't. I feel like I should be hiding in a dark cave where no one can see me, touch me, or make me feel anything ever again but most of the time...I feel good when I with him. He makes me feel normal."

Lissa just nods but I can see she's trying to understand or she can relate to some of it.

"I don't know about you but nothing feels the way it use to, you know? Everything I do, nothing feels the way it should or the way it did before we were raped. So it's a little hard to tell how or when I should feel a certain way."

"Do you think it'll ever go away? Feeling afraid and feeling unsure and confused?"

If she had asked me that a few weeks ago, I's probably say no. It'll never go away and it's something we'll have to live with forever. Things have changed though. I have friends that genuinely care about me, Lissa and I are become better friends just like we were when we were little almost like sisters, and there's a guy that not only makes me feel good about myself, makes me smile and laugh, and sometimes I trouble even breathing around him while my heart pounds a few extra beats. The timing is a little weird but I'm not going to let fear or Adrian or anything take away my normal, my happiness, ever again.

"I think it will. I don't feel as afraid as I use to. I'm not as confused and scared," I answer honestly. "I know it'll take time for all of us but I know we'll be okay."

Lissa seemed to believe me because her shoulders relaxed visibly and the tense expression on her face softens.

"It's scary right, especially with the baby, I can't even imagine but it's alright to let people in, Liss. Even Christian. And it's okay to like him. Nothing has to come of it. Just accept that there are people around you that will always care about you and help you."

I told her everything Dimitri had basically told me the first few weeks I'd met him. I knew my best friend which means I know when she likes someone. She doesn't have to do anything about it or say anything or even hide it. I just want her to admit to herself that she has people that love her or at the very least care about her.

This is what Viktoria needed to hear to convince her to press charges and testify as a witness.

This is what Lissa needed to hear to accept new people in her life and to not begin the rest of her life by living in fear.

This is what I needed to hear in order to feel safe and normal, to feel like a regular human being again.

Now all I need is to get through this case and to see Dimitri and everything right now would feel close to perfect.

"Typical Rose, going after an older guy," Liss smiled, finally speaking after a brief silence while my words sunk in. "This is just like when you liked that teacher we had in seventh grade," she laughed.

Both of us laughed as we talked about our old memories as naïve young girls who thought we had nothing to fear.

"I should work making food for hospital kitchens."

Olena laughed as she wheeled Christian into my hospital room where Lissa was helping to pack my bag and hers. We were both finally being discharged. All we had to do now was wait for Dimitri to come because he'd told his mother he'd be the one to drive us home. After not seeing him since the Tasha kiss, admittedly I feel excited, nervous, anxious, and ready to bolt all at once.

"The food isn't that bad, is it?"

Christian gave her an incredulous look, raising a questioning brow. "There was food on my plate that blinked at me," he exaggerated. I couldn't blame him though. After being spoiled by his cooking, everything in this hospital tasted either bland or blanche-worthy and most of the food was questionable at best.

Olena shrugged as she flipped through my chart. "We make it that way to make sure no one feels the need to stick around here long term."

"I think your food keeps people here long term," Christian murmured as he stretched. "I am ready to go home, bathe, and eat something that doesn't look like it wants to talk to me."

"That's all fine and dandy," Olena smiled as she set my chart down and set up the wheelchair I'd have to be wheeled out in, "but you have strict instructions to take it easy. No overexertion, nothing strenuous, don't even breathe too hard," she instructed sternly.

"Can at least scratch myself if I have to?"

Olena flicked him gently on top of the head at his sardonic question as she asked, "Do you have anyone to care for you?"

"I will," Tasha said as she walked into the room.

"You're here!" Christian exclaimed as gave him a quick hug and held the bag she'd brought for him before with his clothes and supplies in it. "Which means mom and dad are-"

"Planning on coming here for Christmas instead of us going home," Tasha finished, amused when Christian's face fell.

"Why so glum?" Olena asked, curious and amused.

"Because I can see it now: my mother complaining that I don't keep enough toilet paper, secretly packing my stuff and sending it home, and reminding me that she's the only woman in my life that can properly take care of me. Meanwhile my father will walk around in his underwear with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other."

"And if mom has her way they're staying indefinitely," Tasha told him eliciting a groan.

"Why do they never pick on you?"

"Because you're the baby of the family and mommy's little boy. If it makes you feel better, I'm sure Dad will end up at my apartment poking and prodding for the presence of men. And to escape mom."

"I'm sure they're not that bad," Lissa said with a question in her voice.

"You have no idea," Christian and Tasha answered simultaneously, make Olena and Lissa laughed.

All those confused feelings I'd been talking about with Lissa a few days before came rushing back. Tasha has always been nice to me. I knew she and Dimitri were at the very least seeing each other at one point so she probably liked him. As far as I knew, everyone liked Dimitri. I wonder if it means she feels different about me. The last thing I want or need is another enemy.

My question was about to be answered as she asked, "Rose, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Both Lissa and Olena's eyes flicked toward me. Christian sat in his wheelchair, wallowing at the thought of his parents visiting and oblivious to the sudden mood change.

"S-sure."

Lissa and Olena both hesitate but eventually move to leave, wheeling Christian out with them.

"Let's be honest here, this is a little awkward," she laughs sounding as nervous as I feel.

My nerves must be getting the best of me because I don't beat around the bush. "Do you hate me?"

Tasha's dark brows furrow in confusion but quickly straighten out into understanding. Instead of answering my question she comes to stand beside me where I'm still sitting in the hospital bed. "Getting the phone call that my brother was in the hospital was pretty scary. We're from a small town where the word danger doesn't really exist so hearing that someone tried to kill my brother scared the crap out of me."

"I'm really-"

She interrupts as I'm about to apologize. "None of this is your fault. No apology," she says simply before continuing what she'd been saying before. "I was fine for a while until it really hit that I almost lost him. We don't know very many people here but I really wanted someone to comfort me, you know? To tell me everything would be alright and I knew Dimitri was the perfect person to go to because he takes care of everyone. It's kind of part of his charm."

I knew exactly what she meant. Dimitri was one of those people that made you feel safe by just thinking about him.

"I saw him with you...I saw...I came back to your room to see if there was anything you wanted me specific to bring you. And to find Dimitri and I saw how he was with you," she says softly, under her breath as if she's still trying to process.

I thought back to when Dimitri was with me. It's not like he had kissed me or anything. He was just gentle. Seeing the man the you like being tender and caring with someone else probably hurt.

"When I think about it, you two would be kind of cute together."

It took a lot of effort for her to get that out. Her eyes squint for a brief second and her eyebrow flexes.

I want to tell her that it's not like Dimitri and I are really together. I doubt it will help.

I wonder if my age also bothers her. A perfectly fine grown woman and the guy opts to be with the seventeen year old rape victim, damaged goods in some people's eyes. If I was in her shoes, it would bother me.

"Can I ask you something?"

Tasha seems surprised since it's the first time I've spoken since trying to apologize. She nods, "Of course."

"When you kissed Dimitri, was it because you still liked him or because you thought he'd comfort you?" The question sounds meaner than I intend to but Tasha must read the sincerity on my face because she doesn't take offense. She genuinely thinks about it before answering.

"Both."

She doesn't elaborate and I don't ask her to.

I don't know if she'll be as nice to me as she was before this happened but I think we come to a kind of understanding that this happened, it's over with, and now we're all just waiting to see what will happen.

I must be feeling pretty bold because I ask another question.

"Everyone's saying it isn't my fault that Christian got hurt and is now involved in this, telling me that it's not like I'm the one that drove into him. Does that mean it's not my fault that you're hurting right now?"

"It's not like you made me start to fall for him," she says simply, shrugging, a small smile on her face.

There's a knock on the door and Dimitri suddenly appears. All the anxiousness I'd felt before disappears and I smile happy to see him. It's a relief to see him and I feel myself relax, letting a breath out.

It's only been a couple of days since I've seen him but he looks different, much improved from the last time I saw him. He's clean shaven, no longer supporting his usual neat scruff and his hair is tucked neatly behind his ears. He looks a lot more calm than the last time he'd been here as if he'd taken the time we'd been apart by collecting and pulling himself together. He's dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, a thick jacket, and an old pair of work boots. He looks refreshed and like he's taken some time to sleep the same way Lissa and I've taken advantage of sleeping here without worrying someone is going to try and kill us at the house.

"Hey," he greets, a smile on his face. He gives a polite nod to Tasha who nods back. "How are you?" he's speaking to Tasha. I can see she understands as much as I do that Dimitri's trying to ensure that this has done nothing to their friendship if she still wants it.

A boundary line had been set. Where he stood on one side, she stood on the other.

I wonder which side I stand on.

"I'm good. You look good, like you've rested," she says politely. She lingers on him for a moment before turning back to me. "I really want you to get better soon." She grabs Christian's bag and heads for the door, nodding at Dimitri as she leaves. "She stops and says over her shoulder, "Whether or not you believe me, I meant it when I said it's not your fault."

I wonder if she meant because Christian had been hurt and was involved or because of Dimitri. My guess is that she meant the latter. Maybe both.

Dimitri slowly ambled over to me, hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Everything alright?"

I think about it for a second before answering. I'm not sure things are completely okay but I think Tasha is still at least willing to talk to me. I could use as many friends and good people in my lives right now as I could get. I thought about how Tasha had worked to make me comfortable when she first came to see me in the hospital and I wondered if she would have done that had she known I liked Dimitri and that he seemed to like me back or at the very least care for me. I imagined we'd see each other pretty often considering how much time we spent with Christian. I think things would be okay.

"Yeah, I'm good," I answer honestly.

He must have been worried about this because he relaxes a little.

"Ready to go?" Olena asks, poking her head in through the door. I get the feeling she's really asking if everything is alright too. I nod my head even though I'm a little scared to go home. Somehow I felt being in a hospital even though I've seen killers kill people in many movies and TV shows. Maybe it's because so many people are around. Christian was right though when he said it will feel good to use my own shower and to get away from the hospital food. Besides, Stan said he'd send protection duty.

I nod eagerly, eliciting a laugh. "Well you're good to go." She wheeled the wheelchair over and reminded me about the hospital protocol, just like Christian, that I had to leave in the wheelchair. "I'm going to go finish your paperwork since you don't have a guardian to do it."

We all knew my mother should be here taking care of me or the least come home or return a phone call.

"Just like I told Christian, nothing strenuous, try not to move around too much, rest, and get better soon. Alright? Promise?"

"I promise."

After she leaves, I pull the hospital blankets back and move to put my legs on the ground. I'm still a little sore from the incident and I wince a little. Dimitri silently helps me out of the bed. He holds my wrist in one hand and his other arm hovers around my waist before he settles on my other arm to help me to the wheelchair.

"Christian's downstairs complaining about the food he had to eat here. Maybe I should have snuck you guys some burgers or something," he says making me laugh softly.

"I think your mother would have hurt you if you did."

"Speaking of my mother," he starts cautiously as we near the exit to the parking garage. "Did she talk to you about...anything?" he finishes vaguely. I find this kind of amusing considering Dimitri never beats around the bush but goes for the more direct approach usually. I'd give anything to see the expression on his face right now.

"She told me, Dimitri. She explained and so did Tasha," I answered amused even though he had probably already known the answer. "I've kind of been worried though..."

"About?" he asks. I notice he's walking slowly, pushing the wheelchair slow as a result so that we have a little bit of time to talk before we see Lissa waiting for us at Dimitri's car out front.

My nerves and anxiousness from before come back and I hesitate before answering. "If there's even a reason that they felt they had to explain anything to me," I answer so low I wonder if he even hears me because he doesn't say anything.

In fact, he goes so long without saying anything I start to worry I've misinterpreted this entire thing. I'm searching for something to say when Dimitri suddenly stops. I hadn't realized it but he's pushed the wheelchair into a small alcove in the hospital where there doesn't seem to be many people around and there's a small bench. He sits on the bench so that he's in front of me and we're basically eye level.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say Dimitri was nervous. He doesn't have the usual quirks like most people where they bounce their knee up and down or pace. Instead, he always runs his hand over his wounded leg. It took me a while to notice it but it's the only nervous quirk I've ever spotted of Dimitri.

He runs his hand over his leg briefly before he stops and reaches for my hand. He doesn't grab it. Instead he holds his hand out and waits for me to take it. When I do, his much larger hand envelopes my own.

His hands are kind of cold from being outside and are rough and callused after so many years of defense instruction and fighting but it doesn't bother me. These are the hands I've grown use to over the last couple of months. These hands have held me when I cried. These are the hands that have held me up and supported me and I couldn't imagine anything better at the moment.