The drive to Rose's house had never felt longer. The entire ride home I kept glancing at her ready to tell her everything I'd been thinking and feeling for the last few weeks but unable to bring myself to say anything for two reasons: Lissa was also in the car and I didn't want to freak Rose out.

She knows I like her...no, that sounds weird and a little high school.

She knows I have feelings for her. That goes unsaid but I feel like there's this huge conversation we need to have, just the two of us. Our age difference, that fact that she is going through major ordeal in her life, the idea of 'dating', these are all things we need to talk about. I just don't know when or how to bring it up.

I'd been ready to talk back at he hospital but I remembered Lissa was waiting in the car, I parked in a twenty-minute loading area, and the hospital just didn't seem like the right place to have that kind of conversation.

I wanted to talk to Rose in private, just the two of us.

No distractions, interruptions, or misunderstandings that lead to her fainting.

When Lissa climbed out of the car though, thanked me for the ride, and head inside the house I suddenly couldn't think of anything to say. I had to say something, I just didn't know what. My mind was racing with words before and now I can't think of anything beside the fact that it's finally just the two of us.

Looking at Rose, I can see she's lost in her own thoughts. I follow her gaze to the patrol car parked across the street from her house.

"It's weird," she says breaking the silence.

"What is?"

"Being home. I don't remember much from when the paramedics brought me into the hospital but I remember I kept thinking that I was going to die. I didn't think I'd ever see this place and now that I'm here..." she trails off and blinks a few times. "I feel kind of disappointed. It sounds horrible, I know, but I keep thinking that it'd be so much easier if I was dead."

My heart sinks at her admission but in a way I can relate. "I use to think the same thing after Ivan. Instead of dealing with therapy, my job, recovery, mourning, and rehabilitation for my leg I use to tell myself 'it might be better to take the easy way out'."

Rose seemed surprised by this. I remembered when she had told me once that she saw me as some sort of hero, her Superman, that could do no wrong. She maneuvered in her seat carefully, without hitting her sore ribs, to face me. "What stopped you?"

"My mother. Even though I told the department I wasn't going to work as a police officer from behind a desk, they suggested I go to therapy to talk about the shooting but my mother made me go. I told the therapist everything I'd been thinking and since the therapist is a friend of my mother's she broke the patient-doctor confidentiality and told my mother," I explained.

"What did your mother do?" Rose leaned a little forward in her sea, eager to hear what had pulled me from one of the lowest points in my life. It made me wonder just how ready Rose had been for her life end. This wasn't the conversation I'd imagined we'd be having but some how this is better. This is us being completely open and honest about things we'd never normally be able to talk about with other people.

"She made tea, pulled out an old family photo, and made me stare at it. And then she told me that taking my life would be the easy way for me but I'd be hurting everyone I'd leave behind."

Rose leaned back against the door and close her eyes for a second, thinking. The entire time she was quiet, processing my words in her head, I couldn't stop looking at her so openly, a way I'd never been able to before.

Despite the yellowing bruises, scars, and all the inner emotional turmoil I know she's dealing with now, Rose is pretty amazing. She hasn't let any of the attacks stop her from wanting to fight back, she takes care of both Lissa and herself because her own mother is gone, she's trying to stay alive and holding the will to live despite everything. With all that she's been through, for someone her age and size, I think that's pretty amazing.

She opens her eyes and looks out the windshield to where her house is, watching as a light flicks on upstairs. The house, much like the other houses on this street, is a little damaged from the storm: fractured glass in a few of the windows but only one is completely broken, nailed over with wooden beams; a few bits of the roof are hanging loose.

"I really didn't want to come back here to this house," she says, finally speaking. "When I woke up in the hospital I thought 'maybe I've been unconscious for so long, the case and trial is over and done with'. No such luck," she murmurs. "I just want this end already so I can finish high school, finally leave this crummy town, and never come back. Probably take Liss with me," she adds, smiling.

"It'll be over soon and then you can go wherever you want. Where's the first place you want to go?"

She tucked her hair back behind her ears while she mulled over an answer. "Mmm...the beach. I'd like a nice apartment near the beach, close to my college or at least close to public transportation so I can get to college and work. I want to be a normal person when I leave here. Not the subject of the town's gossip."

"So you're thinking about college again?" I asked, proud that none of this was bringing Rose down, glad to see she is looking ahead.

She blushed and smiled almost sheepish that she'd changed her mind from being so certain that she wouldn't be able to go to at least considering going. "Maybe, yeah, I've been thinking about it a little. Liss says she doesn't know what she's going to do but whatever it is I know we'll be together," she explains with a smile on her face that she has her best friend back. The smile starts to disappear as she continues, "I don't want to get my hopes up. If this case doesn't go the way we want it to, I feel like I won't go where I want to. I feel like I won't have the strength to leave here."

"You'll get out of this town no matter what," I assured her. "Even if I have to pack you and Lissa away in a very large box and mail you into the city."

She laughed, tugging at her hair again, trying to force it behind her hairs. It was in a messy ponytail but I wanted nothing more than to reach over and brush it back myself. And then I realize there's really nothing to stop me from doing so. Careful to not touch any of the bruises on her cheeks and eyes, her silky hair felt smooth against my fingers as I brushed her hair back from her face. Rose stilled and I could feel her heart beating a mile a minute where my fingers touched against her pulse. She exhaled deeply and slowly, leaning into where my hand rested against her cheek, my thumb drawing small circles at her bruised cheekbone.

"When this trial is over, and if I do leave this town and end up in the city...will I still see you?"

I still wasn't sure what I had exactly planned to say when we would have his conversation but after thinking for a second, I realize hat no matter what I say, it doesn't have to sound deeply profound or corny. Nor did I have to try to decipher, describe, and explain these emotions.

I just have to do what I've done: be honest and keeping it simple, seeing how this plays out.

"Do you remember when I told you about my academy training, about keeping a respectable distance between myself and any one I came across in my line of work?"

Rose nods, remembering the conversation we had after she had kissed me. "Something about being emotionally distant so no one gets too attached," she recalled. She waited to see where I was going with this. I could actually see the worry slowly appear on her face as fears about me pulling away set in.

I quickly assure those fears and she relaxes when I tell her, "Yeah, well, I don't think I can do that anymore. Not with you."

A/N: Sorry if it seems kind of slow, exposition-y, and a little short. I'm jut having a little trouble figuring out the next few chapters. I know where I want this story to end, I just don't know how to get there...anyways, you guys are awesome for reviewing as always and thanks for even reading it :D

Also, in case anyone is disappointed that it's kind of only implied that they're together now, I know some of you guys are waiting for the official 'Rose and Dimitri Kiss' but I feel like they'd take it slow for obvious reasons.

Oh and after the next chapter you should probably expect a bit of a time jump!