Chapter Thirty
The bar was packed. They'd actually even stopped people from coming in as it would be too many people in such a confined space. Makoto didn't let Sousuke know that and no one else did. He wasn't nervous as such but Makoto had noted the definite change in Sousuke's personality – he was focused and quiet, pensive in the run up to his debut show and so Makoto was letting him do what he needed to do to prepare for his performance. Makoto knew better than to question – he wasn't a creative type and he knew musicians could be temperamental. He was sure Sousuke would be no different.
Makoto remembered the first night he'd visited this place – that first eye opening experience and now he was pretty well-acquainted with the red light district and Sousuke bunch of tattooed and cool friends. He was even stood beside Rin at the bar, Rin who was watching Haru from across the room with narrowed eyes and in what was meant to be a subtle way but was not. Nitori – Ai, his apprentice, was chatting to Momo, the bartender behind the bar and suddenly Makoto felt a weird belonging that he'd not felt in Tokyo previously. He glanced over to where Rei and Nagisa were stood and he realised he'd made his "group", his friends and Makoto had managed to make a life in his new home. And it was no longer lonely and scary in the city. It was right. It wasn't Iwatobi. It wasn't "home" but it was near enough.
Ordering another drink, a light beer, Makoto then made his way over to Haru who was stood behind a small table selling t-shirts that he and Rin had designed. It was decided that Haru would stand behind it, the t-shirt displayed artistically and prices next to them, as Haru wasn't exactly the party type and Makoto's friend had been quite happy to agree. It gave him a purpose without having to get too involved. Makoto smiled as he saw the designs and the label – Sharkbait – and he planned on buying a few to support his friends new business venture. There was one that featured nautical stars in various colours and he told Haru to keep it aside for him.
Standing with Haru briefly gave Makoto something to do as while Sousuke didn't seem nervous, Makoto was. He knew what it meant – he knew it was a big deal for Sousuke not only to return to music but to do it alone. Makoto was glad to see his old bandmates present – Sei was even there who gave him a small wink and smirk but Makoto had ignored it. He still thought Sousuke would punch his old friend one day - but it didn't need to be today.
It wasn't like the bar had a true backstage but he knew Sousuke was preparing back in the office and Makoto did want to go see him, wish him luck and give him a kiss but he knew that might be more of a distraction. He knew Sousuke needed to be calm and getting hot and heavy prior to the show might be a bad idea. There would be celebrations after and Makoto let a little smile cross his face.
"I don't want to know what you're thinking about," Haru said, his voice full of dry sarcasm and Makoto gave a small shrug.
"And I don't want to know what Rin's thinking about you when he looks over."
Haru only snorted in response and it was barely heard above the sound of talking and music in the bar. Before anymore conversation could be had, the music cut off and Sei bounded towards the stage with long strides, jumping up and grabbing the microphone. The bar suddenly became impossibly noisy – even more so than when there was music playing – as the crowd seemed to know what it meant.
There was a palpable excitement about Sousuke's return and Makoto couldn't help smiling about that – that people still remembered his old band and his old songs. It was that excitement that was being shown at this moment and Makoto felt an odd pride in Sousuke. That he was giving it a shot.
"Now… you all remember how awesome this guy used to be and he's now decided to go it alone so please put your hands together for Sousuke!"
The enthusiasm from Sei was infectious and Makoto joined in the clapping and cheering as Sousuke appeared from the back, his acoustic guitar slung over his shoulder as he got up on the stage. Makoto let his eyes wander over the crowd and the friends in it he knew. Haru only softly smiled, his hands clapping together lightly whereas Rin was wolf whistling and cheering loudly. Nagisa was overly excited as per usual and Rei seemed to be analysing all of Sousuke's moves. It was funny to see the different expressions and Makoto then returned his gaze to Sousuke who looked effortlessly confident as he adjusted the microphone to his height as Sei slapped him on the back.
"Hey," Sousuke said finally once he'd adjusted the stand and moved his guitar to a position where he could play it. He looked around the bar that was in darkness apart from the stage lights and Makoto guessed that was probably a good thing as he couldn't see the expectant faces and bright eyes.
Makoto couldn't help admiring Sousuke, the tight grey jeans with the rips, the black t-shirt with the thin teal stripes tight across his chest. He could see those tattoos, the hundreds of meanings and Makoto knew a few more of those now due to all the nights they spent in bed together, talking and laughing and fooling around. He'd never know them all but he could take them in under the bright lights.
Sousuke didn't say anything else, he only started strumming the guitar, the gentle refrain shushing the crowd into a stunned silence and when the introduction was done and Sousuke began to sing… Makoto was sure no one said a word.
As everyone just watched, just listened, the rawness of Sousuke's voice going straight to the heart and Makoto felt awed to see Sousuke like this. Like he'd never thought he'd see him again. Passionate – his eyes closed and his voice breathy into the microphone. Even when he sung the "hmms" and "yeahs" of the song, they had meaning behind them and Makoto kept one hand curled around the beer bottle as the other played with the cuff of his shirt. He wanted to react more but somehow all he could do was watch and sing along with the words he knew, feeling everything Sousuke sang.
He played some familiar songs, some cover versions and soon the crowd became more lively, joining in with Sousuke and helping him sing some of his old songs. It was weird to be a part of it, the energy and Makoto felt that energy in his own veins, a grin on his face as he watched it all happen.
Rin kept cheering loudly and Sousuke at one point told his best friend off – "yo, Rin, stop being an excited five year old, huh?" – which caused everyone who knew Rin to laugh loudly and the redhead to fold his arms across his chest and look grumpy but it was funny. And it showed Sousuke was relaxed and enjoying the show. Which was most important to Makoto.
It was when Makoto walked away from Haru to get some water, the heat of club making sweat form on the back of his neck and on his lip, that he realised there were some people who didn't fit into the place at all present. He noticed Sousuke's father first – they'd found a table as far away from the stage as possible and it seemed they'd probably camped there when the main bulk of the crowd had decided to stand in front of the stage. As Sousuke's father stood out – the broadness of his shoulder and his sharp eyes hidden by glasses. But then Makoto figured it was Sousuke's mother beside him, something about Sousuke in her expression as she watched her son, her head being held up by her hands as she gazed on.
Makoto didn't know whether to go say something but then he felt a pair of cold eyes and Hideo Yamazaki nodded. It was the smallest nod of recognition but Makoto offered a head tilt and smile in return. He hoped they saw Sousuke as Makoto did – the guy behind those tattoos and he hoped they realised how he deserved more than to be a shame to their family. That Sousuke was more than they dismissed him as.
He asked for water and Momo handed it across with a large smile. "He's really gonna do it this time… I can feel it. Concerts and fangirls… think you can take it?"
Makoto could see that – he could see that there would be fangirls from the way some of the crowd looked at him. Plus Makoto was more than aware of that sexy smile, of that wink and the way his body looked. He was sure that would gain more than a few fans. And Makoto was sure that if Sousuke wanted that he could go as far as he wanted.
"I'm sure I can… if it's what he wants," Makoto replied as he would be there every step of the way.
The last song was approaching and Sousuke seemed at home on the small stage, smiling at the crowd and relaxed. It was pleasure to watch and Makoto was smiling broadly when Sousuke thanked people for coming to his show.
"This is my last song…" he started and the crowd shouted their disapproval to which Sousuke shrugged and smile, "hey…don't worry, tonight was fun, I'll be playing again soon."
The crowd went crazy at that – people clearly loving Sousuke's return and the potential for more.
"And this song… this song is just a little something I wrote for Makoto… the guy who believed in me, who stood beside me when I was a moody asshole, who without I wouldn't be here right now. The songs called Rush Hour Crush and it goes a little something like this."
It was not something Makoto had heard before and he listened closely to the lyrics as Sousuke sung. He could feel Sousuke's glance on him at times, that gaze burning through him and Makoto heard how "they met on one boring day, waiting for the metro going their own ways," and how "that meeting was something so simple and strange, weird how something so small could make such a big change".
Makoto tried not to blush when he heard the lines about "Mr. Green Eyes and Glasses with a smile that nobody surpasses" as it was both cheesy and cute, Sousuke giving a small cock of head to acknowledge the cliché in some of his words.
It didn't matter if it was cheesy and cliché as Makoto had never had a song written for him and with Sousuke's voice, it was so beautiful and poignant. And by the final run through of the chorus, he was mumbling along with the lyrics badly, cheering loudly when Sousuke finished and thanked everyone before making a quick departure off the stage. As soon as Sousuke had got off the stage, he was mobbed by the crowd and Makoto tried to make his way to towards Sousuke, battling through the heat of bodies and the press of hands.
He managed to get through, managed to be face to face with Sousuke once again, and without caring about the crowd and the fact Sousuke's traditional parents were somewhere in the bar, Makoto threw his arms around Sousuke's sweaty neck. Sousuke smiled, that small droopy smile and Makoto could see the dampness of his hair and the sparkle in his eyes and he pressed his lips to Sousuke's, soft and gentle, his eyes closing and in that moment it was perfect and just them.
It was a brief moment and when Makoto backed off he felt Sousuke's hand on his jaw as he leaned forward to whisper into his ear.
"There are people I need to talk to… continue this later?"
Makoto nodded and when they parted he realised who those people were exactly. As Sousuke brushed his hand over Makoto's shoulder and then walked towards his parents.
He watched, afraid he was about to see Sousuke's dreams shattered once again but he saw an awkward hug between mother and son and an even more awkward handshake between Sousuke and his father and Makoto let a small smile cross his face at the small attempt made. It wasn't repaired, that family relationship, but it was something and that had to be enough.