A/N: I hope it's alright, I thought it'd be kind of funny to use some of your opinions/comments about the seven year celibacy thing in here. :) I know there were a few people that said I should just change a few things around or change part 1 of the epilogue but I decided to take the advice of the majority of my reviewers and messengers and keep the epilogue the way it is (since it is my story after all). The only difference is that there will be a three part epilogue rather than two. I know it seems like I'm dragging things on but I figured with over seventy chapters, one more epilogue wouldn't hurt :)

Your messages and suggestions were all amazing. I was still a little lost on what to do about the rest of this story but then I figured that there's no way I'll please everyone so I just decided to post what I had written and hope you guys like it and that it makes up for what most of you didn't like in the first epilogue.

I hope nothing is confusing. If it is, let me know and I'll try and fix it or explain...

Thanks for the reviews and messages, all of them, Guest reviews included. It means a lot knowing there are people out there that appreciate this very loooooooooong story XD Anyways, I hope you enjoy part 2 of the epilogue and part 3 (the final part) should be up soon.

Again, thank you EVERYONE! All opinions are appreciated.

Dimitri pressed a kiss to the back of my hand.

"Can't you come with me?"

"I think you should talk to them alone."

I sighed for about the hundredth time that day. It's been a little over a month since I heard my parents out. Over that time, I played with the thought of what the rest of my life would be like pretending I didn't have parents even though I knew they were out there. It'd make me just like them in a way, abandoning them out of stubbornness and hurt. I didn't want to regret not giving them a chance. So I called Ibrahim and my mother yesterday to meet for lunch again. Now Dimitri and I are sitting in his car parked across the street while I debate going in.

He squeezes my hand again, pulling me from my thoughts.

"It's stupid but I keep thinking that if I let her back into my life, she'll end up leaving for one reason or another," I told him.

"If she does then she's the one who'll be missing out," Dimitri says without missing a beat. "It would be her loss. I just don't want you to miss out on one last chance to patch things up with her."

"I know. I don't want any regrets either," I murmured, resolving that I couldn't sit in this car forever.

"I'll wait here for you," he promised. "And if things go alright, we'll have pizza for dinner," he offered. I was always jokingly complaining about Dimitri's continuous efforts to only cook healthy meals ever since we moved in together. Well actually he's been trying to get me to eat healthier ever since we've been dating but now he has more of an opportunity now that we live together.

"Ice cream too?"

He smiled and then leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Ice cream too."

If that isn't enough incentive then I don't know what is.

I climbed out of the car and headed into the diner, knowing that even though he wasn't right beside me, Dimitri was with me all of the way.

"Abe said he'd be a little late," my mother said as I sat across from her.

"That's kind of good because I was hoping to talk to you alone first."

She looked a little nervous but nodded. I still couldn't get over how young and healthy she looked. The seven years apart had been good for her. Good for the both of us.

I ruffled around in my bag until I found what I was looking for. It was the journal that Dimitri had bought me all those years ago for Christmas. It had taken me while but eventually I started writing in it, writing any and every thing that came to mind especially the things I couldn't talk about out loud yet. I filled the journal up quickly and Dimitri always made sure I had a new one when I did over the years. I had more than twenty filled journals now but this one, the first one, was the one that started it all of making me feel better.

"What's that?" my mother asked curious.

I slid it toward her but kept my hand on the cover to keep her from taking it yet.

"Dimitri, he's my..." I trailed off. The label 'boyfriend' just didn't seem adequate enough sometimes. My mother seemed to sense this and smile slightly.

"Abe told me," she nodded. "Dimitri...the defense instructor I met that one time."

"Yeah."

"You've really been together all this time?" she asks amazed.

"It surprises me too sometimes. Yeah, we've been together. He's amazing," I told her, trying to resist melting into my usually goofy smiles whenever I talked or even thought about Dimitri sometimes. I tried to focus on why we were even here. "He gave me this journal as a Christmas present. He thought it'd be good if I wrote things down. It was a while before I used it but I ended up filling it up pretty quickly," I told her.

She nodded. I could see she had an idea of where I was going with all of this.

"You said you wanted me to give you a chance, to hear you out, and I did. So now I'm kind of asking you for the same thing. I want you to hear...or actually read everything I wrote down. Most of it about the case and what was going through my head at the time but some of it is about you and Ibrahim and...I guess I just want you to understand."

"Did you ask Abe to do this too?"

I shake my head. "No. He was there at the trial? He's heard it all already. But you haven't." I inched the journal closer toward her.

My mother's face was suddenly pained as she combed her fingers through her mane of curls shaking her head. "I don't...I-I heard about it all in th-the news and magazines-"

"That was their version, the media's version, of what happened. I want you to hear from me. Or at least read it from my perspective," I added in a firm whisper. I pushed the journal closer to her but held my hand on the cover. "I'm not going to force you. I'm giving you a choice. If you don't want to, fine, but I can't easily let you back into my life if you're not willing to accept what happened to me. I'm not going to ignore it and I don't want the people in my life to ignore it either. I need everyone who is going to be a major part of my life—at the very least—to try to understand. It's the least you can do," I added when I still sensed her reluctance.

I didn't want to be this type of daughter, the one that gave the mother who struggled to raise her an ultimatum, but I also didn't want to feel the same amount of pain I did when she walked out on me the first time. It's an "all or nothing, "take it or leave it" situation.

She hesitates for only a second longer before sliding the journal out from under my hand. She holds it tentatively as though she is trying to accept that this is the only key that will allow her back into my life.

"I'm not rushing you or anything to finish it. And you don't have to read every word of it. I just want you to try. It's not like it's easy for me to let someone else read this nor is it easy for me to think about letting you back into my life. This is-"

"The least I can do," she finished in a murmur. She nodded once, firmly, as though she just resolved to do something. "I know I haven't made any of this easy for you but I am glad that you're giving me a chance at least." She reached across the table to touch my hand and this time I let her but I didn't return the gesture.

"I take it things are going well," Ibrahim said as he suddenly appears and sits beside my mother.

She clutches the journal tightly to her chest before sliding it into her purse. "All things considered, I think we're okay now?" It came out as a hopeful question directed at me.

"Yeah, I think we're okay."

"All of us?" he asks referring to himself.

I only hesitated for heartbeat before nodding. "All of us."

I can't hold a grudge forever. It's too hard and it doesn't make any of us feels good. We're not in the best, perfect relationship considering they're my parents and I'm their kid but it could be worse.

"Well then, this is good."

We order cups of coffee and talk about small things, mostly straying from the heavier topics. My mother explained to me that when she took of at first she didn't know where she was going nor did she have a plan. She went from bar to bar and apparently it wasn't her first time drifting from bar to bar in a drunken stupor. Eventually, she went to Ibrahim, Abe, and told him everything that was going on. He said he'd of course take the case and do what he could but first he put my mother in an Alcoholic treatment center. I never thought my mother's drinking was bad enough to need rehabilitation but apparently it was and she needed it.

She told me after she left the treatment center the case had already ended. She went back to the house but Lissa and I had already left. She didn't want to stay there any more than we did so she went back into the city, found an apartment, and she found a better job for herself than the ones she had before.

When I asked why she didn't contact me or try to she said she was scared that too much time had passed. Initially she had resolved to find me after she resolved a few of her own issues before coming to find me and then she was scared that too many years had gone by.

Abe, who had been helping my mother all along, made that deal with me in the hospital knowing that one day my mother would be okay enough to bring us back together again. Smugly, he pointed out that evidently he was right and here we are.

"I hope we'll still have get togethers like this," my mother said tentatively.

"Do you plan on keeping us at arms length until she finished the journal?" Abe asked, all of his usual smugness and sarcasm completely gone.

"We're having a party for Lissa and Andy in a couple of days. It's their birthdays and it's kind of housewarming, summer barbecue party. Nothing big but you're both welcome to come," I told them. At the nervous look on my mother's face at the prospect of being surrounded by the people I described as my new family I assured her, "They know that the three of us have been trying to work things out. They'd like to have you there. No awkwardness or anything."

She visibly relaxed.

"Sounds good then."

"We'll be there," Abe agreed and for a moment I wondered if they were together as a couple or if they were together simply as two parents trying to make their way back into my life. I decided that, for now, I don't care and it doesn't matter.

"I'd send you the address but since you've apparently been keeping track of me all these years I'm sure you already have it," I say dryly to Abe.

"True," he shrugs.

My mother smiles, shaking her head as she sips her coffee.

I roll my eyes, finding myself surprisingly fighting a bit of a smile myself, as I stand up and grab my purse.

"Are you leaving already?" she asks surprised.

"It's been a long couple of days. I'm little tired and Dimitri's waiting for me."

"Okay," she says sad at first but then she seems to brighten when I reminder her about the party in a few days. "We'll see you soon then?" she asks just for confirmation.

I have this sudden fear of neither of them showing up at the party and I never see them again. I have the sudden worry that I've asked and expected too much from them in order for me to give them a chance. But I can't live my life buried in fears and worries. I just have to take a chance and hope for the best, trust that they won't let me down again.

"Yeah, we'll see each other soon."

"So this is the definition of chaos," I muttered.

Dimitri laughed, wrapping his arms around me as we watched all the wild rugrats run amok in Olena's backyard. It was decided that Andy's party be moved to Olena's house since Lissa decided to invite so many people. There were kids everywhere, Paul and his fellow teenagers lounging around talking, Zoya and her girl friends squealing and singing, a few of Lissa's classmates from college and coworkers, Belikov family friends and relatives...

"This is actually a relatively calm party."

"Really?" I asked, looking up at Dimitri to see how serious he was.

"One day, when Yeva is really drunk, ask her about New Years eve, 1997."

"Why do I have to wait until she's drunk?" I asked laughing.

"That's the only way she'll be willing to tell you."

I laughed at the image of a hard partying Yeva just as my parents suddenly appeared beside us. Their eyes were wide at the sigh of the party mayhem in front of them.

"Kids," Abe breathed in disbelief as one kid run past with a cake covered trashcan on his head laughing. "Aren't you glad we only had one?" he asked my mother who nodded with a small smile.

It was still interesting to me seeing my parents, to even use the word parents, together. As they could feel me watching them, they both turned to face me and Dimitri.

"How are you?" my mother asked.

I could tell she was a little about being here, apprehensive being around so many people who had come to care about me. I think she was scared that she wouldn't be welcomed into my new family. I still can't believe how young and healthy she looks. The sleep circles around her eyes are gone, her skin is glowing and healthy, and the weights that I had always imagine would permanently rest on her shoulders are gone.

"I'm good," I answered simply.

I was about to ask her the same thing and start another one of those pointless, simple conversations that included the weather when I remembered Dimitri was still wrapped around me. Abe was staring at him while my mother flicked her eyes from me to him.

"You remember Dimitri?" I ask unwrapping his arm from around me to hold his hand.

Abe nodded stiffly as my mother reached a hesitant hand forward to shake Dimitri's free one.

"It's nice to see you again," Dimitri greeted her. "Ibrahim," he said simply.

I don't know what it was but I had a feeling those two would never get along. I imagined it had something to do with the antagonistic relationship between fathers and anyone their daughter fell in love with but I shook that thought away. Abe didn't seem like the overprotective type even if he did tell me he cared about me.

"Belikov," Abe responded just as curtly.

"We're glad to have you here." The comment included both of my parents but Dimitri directed it toward my mother.

"We are really happy to be here," my mother smiled.

There was a bit of an awkward silence where Dimitri and Abe continued to stare one another down. There was obviously something they wanted to say to one another so I decided to take my mother around and introduce her to everyone else.

"I'll be right back," I told Abe and Dimitri, pecking Dimitri on the cheek before gesturing for my mother to follow me.

"What do you think they're talking about?" I ask, throwing a nervous glance to back over my shoulder where Dimitri and Abe where already in discussion about something. It didn't look like neither wanted to be there but apparantly something needed to be said.

"You," my mother said with certainty. "Abe isn't too happy with how the two of you got together. He disapproves the same way I kind of did the first time I noticed how much time you guys were spending together when I first met Dimitri. It's the age the difference that mostly bothers him but I also think he thinks Dimitri sort of took advantage of the difficult time you were going to to win your heart, that you were too young."

"But that's not what happened," I say firmly, preventing us from continuing walking. "Dimitri's been nothing but good for me."

"I know. We both see that now. From what Abe has, begrudgingly, told me and with my own eyes I've seen how he loves and cares about you."

"He is. He's good to me. Without him we probably wouldn't be here together right now," I told her firmly. "I probably wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for him," I added referring to the few times in my life I'd considered death preferable to life. Times in my life where things seems so overwhelming difficult that I thought about all the worries and troubles not being worth living.

"I'm grateful to him."

"So am I that I still have you here," she smiles small as we continue walking.

We bumped into Lissa, Andy, and Christian first.

"If this is my aunt Rose...does that mean you're my grandma?" Andy adorably asked scratching his head.

After looking back at Christian and Lissa who both shrugged, still smiling at Andy's confusion, my mother knelt down in front of Andy and said, "I guess so."

"Cool!" Andy exclaimed throwing his arms around her neck nearly knocking her over. "Does that mean I get more presents?"

The four of us laughed as Christian saved my mother from having to answer by offer another slice of the cake he'd especially made for the party and leading Andy away.

"He's cute," my mother compliments as we watch the two boys race each other to the cake.

"Thank you," Lissa says, smiling at the two loves of her life. The animosity between them was apparently forgotten. There was a moment where they both extended a hand to one another giving a squeeze, nothing being said. After a moment Lissa went to follow Christian and Andy before giving me an encouraging wink, glad that I had my mother back in my life.

I walked her around and introduced her to each of the Belikovs we ran into. As I expected, my mother seemed a little overwhelmed by everyone but she did her best to hide it. It was after talking to Olena and introducing her to Yeva that she pulled me aside.

"So this is the family you've written about," she says referring to the journal I'd asked her to read.

"Yeah this is them...in all their loudness, togetherness and craziness," I laughed as Viktoria twirled by us, dancing with a guy she'd met in one of her college classes.

"I have to admit," she says rummaging in her bag before pulling out my journal and holding it out to me. "I'm a little jealous."

"Jealous? Of what?"

She looks around at the party that has managed to increase in population size as well as noise.

"I should have been there. This should have been us at our home having parties and being together like a family. I missed out on a lot of years of your life and I don't want to miss out on anymore and I know Abe feels the same way."

I had to admit that it was nice hearing that she was aware she missed out on so much but I also was happy to hear that she really wanted to be apart of my life. It was even sort of nice to hear Abe wanted in on my life too.

I didn't have the right words to tell her everything I was thinking so instead I just leaned forward and hugged her. I could tell I'd surprised her, especially since I'd been hesitant to even let her touch me at the restaurant both times we'd met but she quickly recovered and hugged me back.

A pair of long, familiarly warm arms wrapped around me from behind and I leaned back into the embrace.

I relished in the thought that I no longer flinched when someone, especially Dimitri, came at me from behind.

I felt the usual kiss to the top of my head that I could never grow tired of, then the pressure of Dimitri resting his chin on my shoulder, his scruffy cheek brushing against my own.

"I don't know about you but I've had enough parties for a while," he said gently so as not to wake Andy who was sleeping in the spare bedroom near by.

There wasn't much of an adjustment period when we moved in together. In fact we both laughed at how easy the moved to his apartment had been because most of my stuff was already there. The only thing that had really changed was that we didn't have to go so long without seeing each other and that the toys that Andy had kept at each of our apartments were combined into the bedroom for times like these when he'd sleep over.

"What, did this last party wear you out?" I asked as he moved to stand beside me helping me put away the extra food we'd taken from the party.

"Let me put it this way: once Karo tried pulling me into doing traditional Russian dances, I knew it was time for the party to end."

"Speaking of the party, what did you and Abe talk about?" I'd ask, bringing up the question that had been on my mind all day but I hadn't had a chance to ask. During most of the party I was trying to keep Olena's house from being destroyed and messy while watching my parents interact with the people who were an important part of my life now. My mother and Olena seemed to get along well while Abe found common ground with Stan over firearms or something of the sort.

"He was telling me how much he doesn't like me and probably never will," Dimitri says sounding amused.

"What?" I asked surprised that my mother's assumption had been right.

"He did admit, reluctantly, that he was glad that it seems like I'm doing a pretty good job of taking care of you. I told him that you did a pretty good job of taking care of yourself."

"So he complimented you, even it was reluctantly," I pointed out.

"Yeah. He said he likes seeing you happy and he expects me to keep you that way for the rest of our lives and that I shouldn't even think about ever hurting you...or else."

"Or else? Or else what?" I asked both worried and confused as to why Dimitri was smiling contradictory to his retelling of Abe's apparent threat.

"He told me to imagine the worst things possible and multiply them buy a million if I ever hurt you."

"And why are you smiling?" I asked confused.

"Because his threat means that he cares about you. I needed to see that he cares about you and he does. He's a protective father looking out for his daughter," he pointed out.

"True," I grinned.

"I'm just glad that you finally have you're parents back, something I know you've wanted for a long time."

I smiled realizing I really did, for the first in my life, have both of my parents.

"It's kind of funny though because I gave him the same warnings," Dimitri says a moment later.

"Warnings about what?" I asked as we finished putting the food away.

"Hurting you. I saw how much it hurt you to have you mother disappear and then Ibrahim was suddenly gone. I don't ever want to see you like that again."

My heart melted knowing how much the men in my life cared about me. Dimitri caught me as I fell into his arms, wrapping myself tightly around him. We walked in our awkward embrace heading for our bedroom. We stopped to poke our heads into Andy's room where he was snoring soundly. Dimitri pulled back some of the blankets to make sure he wasn't too hot while I plugged in his extra night light before we head back to our own room.

I suddenly felt so domestic. I wondered if somewhere down the line if it would be Dimitri and I tucking in our own kids with this nice feeling, a couple coming home after a long day with the family, tucking in their kid before turning in themselves. We didn't spend a lot thinking about the long term and I often wondered if we should. One of my biggest fears was the thought of Dimitri suddenly deciding I'm not worth it all or being dissatisfied upon realizing I couldn't give him everything he wanted. Countless time spent in therapy but, like I said before, it doesn't fix everything and I consider it a very normal experience for a girl to worry about her relationship.

Something I'd been thinking about a lot lately.

Dimitri squeezed my hand and I looked up, surprised that I hadn't even noticed he'd already climbed into bed beside me.

"You're a million miles away right now," he pointed out as he slid completely under the blankets. "What are you thinking so hard about?"

It's been a long day already. Did I really want to have this conversation right now? Or ever? Not really but he's not going to let me get away with it if he knows something is bothering me. It's one of the reasons I love him so much. I tilted my head to rest against his shoulder, one of the many familiar spots I've nestled myself against over the years. For a while he let me lay there without pressing me to tell him what was on my mind. His fingers gently combed their way through my hair while he patiently waited.

Unlike me, patience is one of his strongest suits.

I wonder if all of this time I've been taking advantage of that, comfortable with the knowledge that he'd never hurt me, never force me to do anything I didn't want to. I trust Dimitri with my life, my heart, and soul but have I given him as much as I've taken? He's been my comfort, listener, patient man that has never really asked me for anything accept maybe my love in return. Am I really giving him all of my love if I can't be as physical as I'd like to, as most couples usually are? Seven years ago I tried, and I've tried so many times since then, to go further with Dimitri, to give myself to him completely. He protected me by not letting us go beyond the boundaries we considered safe. A few years after we started dating, getting closer, I started experiencing triggers, nightmarish memories induced by a the most innocent of simple touches. It was an emotional roller coaster while I dealt with that in therapy and we worked our past it. He said all I needed was time. Everyone says I'll know when I'm ready but...how?

"Roza." He nudge my shoulder gently, probably thinking I'd fallen asleep.

"Seven years is a long time," I murmured, seemingly out of the blue.

"Seven..." he started to ask what seven years was but quickly figured it out. "We've been together seven years."

"Yeah and it's a long time. Most people are married with kids in seven years of dating."

"Most but not all," he said simply as if it was so easy for him to shrug off.

He always gave a simple answer to questions like this, shrugging and raising a brow as though it was weird that I was even worried about things like this. I sat up so I could see his expression, hoping it might change and he actually tells me how he feels about us not being your average everyday couple.

"It doesn't bother you that we-"

"Rose," he interrupts me. Or at least he tries to interrupt me but I continue on.

"Dimitri you're practically a monk! Celibate for seven years unless you've been cheating on me and you'd never do that," I say with certainty. "I mean, don't you think about it? It's weird...isn't it? Seven years and we haven't slept together! I mean...we sleep together but you know what I mean," I rambled dropping my face in my hands in embarrassment wishing I hadn't said anything. I find it funny that I'm even still embarrassed about this topic since we've talked about it so many times over the years. Everything we've been through and this is what I'm embarrassed about.

To my utter horror, Dimitri is laughing beside me. Not teasing laughing but more like a combination of nervous and slightly amused laughter. He easily tugged my hands away from my face forcing me to look up at his face where he was fighting a full on smile.

"Roza you're being ridiculous," he chuckled, pecking a kiss on my lips as he tugged me close enough so that my legs were stretched across his lap and I was enveloped by his arms all around me. "Is that what you're worried about? That I'll leave you because we don't have sex?"

"Sometimes," I muttered.

"You don't think very highly of me," he mused, suddenly serious.

"What? Of course I do...it's just-"

"You know I love you."

It wasn't a question but I nodded. "Of course."

"Don't you love me too?"

"Of course I do!" I answered immediately. I leaned up to kiss him, almost as if to physically convey how much I really love him with just a simple kiss. He responded immediately, fingers locked in each other's hair, labored breathing. We pulled away but only so our lips were just touching. We were nearly touching everywhere else.

"It's not about what you think we should be doing. It's about both of us feeling ready enough to be together."

"Do you feel ready?" I whispered.

He gave me his gentle smile before pressing his lips against my own, a kiss so sweet and gentle that it warmed me from the inside out. "Yes, I do," he murmured against my lips. "But it's about both of us feeling ready. Tell me honestly, do you feel ready?" he asked. He brushed a thumb gently along my jawline, pressing feather kisses on every inch of my face, neck, and collarbone, daring me to lie to him.

I wanted this. I wanted him. Just not now. And not with Andy in the house. I told him and he laughed.

"All good points," he said chuckling. "It'll happen when it happens. So don't worry about it. Aren't you just happy being with me? Or are you just with me for my body?" he joked.

"Definitely the body."

He tickled me and then smothered my laughter with kisses.