Shit.

Shit shit shit shit.

Akira reacted quickly though, looking back at me. As quick as lighting, he snapped his head back at Waya and replied, "Yeah. He's kinda drunk," He gave my hand a tug and I stumbled. I'd never drank before but I knew fully well how drunk people are supposed to act. It was up to me to make Waya believe it now.

So I giggled and let my hand slip out of Akira, and stumbled into the half open door, where Akira grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back before I hit my head. I laughed a little.

"See?" Akira said. "Intoxicated."

I stumbled to Waya and grabbed the edges of his hat, pulling it down over his face. "You have a funny hat," I tried to slur. This was kinda fun. Even Akira snickered a little.

Waya pulled me back and with a flick of his wrist took off the hat, grabbing my shoulder so I wouldn't fall. He looked at Akira. "Why is Hikaru drunk at your house?" He asked. Again Akira answered as if this was the truth.

"He was at a bar, I guess, nearby, and I found him stumbling around on the streets like an idiot,"-I tried not to take that personally-"So I brought him back to my house so he wouldn't get in any danger. Why are you here so late, Waya-san?"

"I, uh..." He looked down and thought of an answer, but in the process of studying Akira's floor he saw our go board. "What's with the guitar?"

"I, uh, I was tryna get this guy to sleep," Akira nodded towards me, then grabbed my shoulders gently and sent me down on a chair in his dining room. It was close enough to the door that Waya didn't have to come in and he was looking suspicious.

"Well, as long as I'm here, why don't I help with Hikaru?" He asked, and came in any way and patted me on the shoulder. "You live on the other side of town, don't you?" He said to me, and I looked up at him stupendously.

"Taka!" I gasped. "There's four of you!"

He sighed. "How'd he get into a bar, anyway?!" Waya said towards Akira. Akira shrugged. "Two tone hair cuts make people look older," He said blindly. He was really good at thinking on the spot. Or really bad. It depended on how you thought about it.

Waya looked back at our board. "You were playing go with him while he was drunk?" He asked. Akira blinked and nodded.

"Of course."

Waya snickered. "Afraid you'd lose when he was sober?" He asked.

Akira narrowed his eyes. "Never." I gave him a smile and thumbs up while Waya had his attention on Akira.

Waya sighed and looked at me. "If you become an alcoholic I think I'll laugh," He tussled my hair. I pounded my fists on his arm. "Taka! More like baka!" He looked offended and smacked me on the head. I let out a squeak and grabbed my head protectively. I heard Akira snicker again.

Remembering what happened earlier, I decided to become Hikaru the Sad Drunk. I sniffed. "Takaa!" I let out a fake sob. "T-That hurt!"

Akira smiled a bit in laughter but Waya frowned and sighed. "Maybe you should get him to bed," He offered. Akira nodded.

"Alright. You should go home, Waya-san. I got him covered from here. In the morning I'll bring him back home."

That reminded me. I had to tell Akira something once I wasn't fake drunk. I sniffed. "I-I don't wanna sleep," I whined.

"Too bad," Waya answered, then looked up at Akira. "You sure? I can hang around if you want. He's my friend too," that was like the first time Waya admitted Akira and I were friends. That made me feel happy. But Akira nodded his head.

"It's alright, you should be heading home too. You never said why you were here, by the way," Akira asked suspiciously.

Waya blinked. "Oh, no reason. I thought I could ask your dad something," he lied. I knew why he was here. And the jealously burned in my stomach as I gritted my teeth up at him.

"He's not here," Akira said, a bit of spite in his voice. He was always distant when his father was mentioned, and I've wondered why. And it must've sucked, because he was compared to his father so constantly.

Waya sighed. "Oh," His voice was small.

"He'll be back in a few weeks, if you still are curious by then," Akira added. Waya nodded.

"That's okay. I'lll be off then. Are you sure you don't want me to take Hikaru? He's a bit of a handful," Waya offered.

Akira nodded. "That's alright. Travel safe," He verbally rushed him out the door. Waya said bye to both of us and walked out the door. As he did I said one more thing drunk and stupid and then I let out a relieved breath.

"Damn," I said. "Thought he'd never leave." I grinned at Akira and stood up off the chair, stretching.

Akira laughed and nodded. He said quietly, since Waya was still walking off, "Yeah. Great drunk acting by the way. I would've believed it." He kissed my forehead as I pushed my chair back in.

"Yeah, well..." I scratched my head. "I learned from example," I said with a small voice, and Akira looked at me concerned.

"Example?" He said softly. I just nodded and refused to elaborate.

"We should head to bed, though, Aki-chan," I changed the subject, grabbing his hand. He frowned a bit then nodded, not willing to push. After cleaning things up, We went upstairs and with the only light coming from the moon, Akira finished his love song quietly and we fell asleep in his futon.

(Past)

"Your father told me," Ogata said as he took a seat in front of Akira Toya. It was the first day Akira went back to his father's study group after the incident, about a month later. The others were busy speaking of the Young Lion's tournament, while this is what they were talking about, apparently. "You're a homo?"

Akira sighed and set down his book of games he was studying. It had been on the same page for over ten minutes. "Yes," Akira said simply, meeting Ogata's gaze. They were in an intense staring contest until Ogata took out a cigarette and began to light it. Akira always disliked it when he pulled out the nicotine. The smell was disgusting. He also glanced down at the game board in the process. "Still replaying that game, I see," He nodded towards the board.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Akira said indefinitely. Ogata just smirked. "The one against 'sai'," He took a drag. You mean, the one against Shindo Hikaru, Akira thought. He would never reply such an important game in public. So he did not reply and just put the next stone down. Ogata leaned over the board and raised his eyebrows. "Oh. I was mistaken, wasn't I?" He examined the board further, "This is the one against Hikaru Shindo, isn't it? At that tournament last summer," He smirked, Akira did not reply.

"Don't you find it strange?" Ogata asked. Akira just placed another stone. "Because he seems like a great player to me. All the way up to here." He tapped his free hand of a stone near the center of the board, at 8-11. "Then it changes." He looked up at Akira, not saying anything until Akira looked up at him as well. "I thought you didn't care about Hikaru Shindo."

Akira looked back at the board. "I don't," he said dryly. Ogata smirked again and put out his cigarette.

"Don't you want to play him?" Ogata asked condescendingly, pressing Akira's buttons.

He grit his teeth. "No!" He slammed the next stone down with some force. Ogata sensei raised his eyebrows.

"Are you sure? You seem pretty intrigued with him," Ogata elaborated. "He told me he's going to play in the Young Lion's Tournament, Akira-san. Doesn't that make you angry? Don't you want to beat him?" He asked. Akira took a breath and cooled his head. The next stone went down with barly a tap.

"When did you talk to him?" Akira asked softy.

"A few weeks ago. He said he would be in it for sure. And that he's focused on playing against you. You wouldn't want to disappoint," Ogata smirked.

As he talked, Akira lowered his head farther so he was looking almost squarely at the board, his hair covering his flushing face. He's focused on playing against you, he thought. Why would he? He can't play like Akira. That was clear the club tournament. But why? Why was he still chasing after you?

Akira couldn't wrap his head around it. Hikaru had disappointed him so many times. 'I'm not going to play you. I'm gonna get stronger at my go club and play in the team tournament!, And when he finally, finally clawed his way to third position (embarrassing himself and getting bullied in the process) to play against Hikaru, he was disappointed. He gave him an amatuer's game, nothing like the two he played previously. Like he was a completely different person. And he had the nerve of giving Akira hope. 'Toya! Wait!' But what he said next surprised him.

If you keep chasing after some illusion of me, some day the real me is going to catch up to you! What did that mean? Akira couldn't stop thinking. That had been months ago, but the only time he'd seen Hikaru after that was when Ogata brought him to see him as an insei. He prayed Hikaru didn't see him, but they nearly locked eyes, so he had to. That make him so embarrassed, his face flushed the entire way home. There was nothing he could do about it, so he looked down like this the entire time. Somewhere, deep in his mind, he hoped silently that Hikaru had other reasons to chasing on his tail than just competitive spirit, like Akira wa-

"Akira-sensei, may I make an inference?" Ogata asked.

Akira glanced up and nodded his head.

"You're not just interested in Shindo because of his go," He began. Akira looked up in curiosity. "You have a crush on him."

And down Akira's head went.

Ogata raised his eyebrows and basically knew the truth. "Haha! Was I right?" Akira ceased to answer. "That's... interesting," Ogata smirked. "I didn't know Akira Toya could feel love for anything but a board game," Still no reply.

Akira's father came in, surprised to even see his son. But he sat down like normal and began the study group. Akira tried to listen but his mind was on what Ogata sensei had said. Akira never knew what to think of Hikaru, but every time he thought of the bleached haired boy he got this strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Before not too long ago he would've just called it determination or fierce rivalry. But he knew he couldn't continue with thoughts like that. He was denying himself from the truth.

And he couldn't deny himself from the truth, or he would hurt more. And this hurt. It hurt horribly. He kept on fighting with himself with his feelings and what he should do. But now, as Ogata said it... It seemed to be just like that. The thing he couldn't explain was said simply in six words by the biggest douche on the planet. Of course, that's what these mix feelings were all along: Love. Strange, gay, unrequited love. As far as Akira could tell Hikaru was straight. Hikaru had rejected to even play a silly little (that he decided to make a career out of, and that he loved) board game with him. Hikaru Shindo wanted nothing to do with Akira. Which made him hurt worse. It took all his might to not cry in front of the study group. Fuck playing him, Akira thought. All I want to do is see him.