If he was being honest, Akira would've preferred a better reaction.

His father was never a nice man, but at least he thought he was the least bit accepting. I... don't approve of it, but it is your choice, his father had told him. Even if it seemed to be the utmost lie, Akira somehow believed in that slight sentiment as proof he could at least respect his son's decisions, even if he didn't agree with them personally.

Akira was wrong. Dead wrong.

So far Akira had gotten most of his stuff out of his parents house; before Hikaru, even. His need to leave must have been more urgent, no? But Hikaru didn't notice. He was just excited they would be living together. Luckily, the apartment the boys had chosen had allowed pets, so Tsusaki would be alright. The apartment was on the third floor, so they would exercise their legs by bringing their things from up the stairs. When they got tired, they submitted into using the elevator. It always felt like a reward when that happened, as if they had been working hard and deserved a break, even if it wasn't much.

Of course Akira felt as if he should have expected that sort of response. But it hurt nonetheless. The slight break in the elevator kept the terrible pain in his side at ease for some moments. Once they were done, he could lay on the couch like a lazy bastard, and hopefully Hikaru wouldn't judge him. Around the bottom of his legs hurt as well, but he could bare that. A large portion of his career was sitting down and staring at a piece of wood for hours, so he never really moved his legs. His torso, though, sheered in pain every time he shift from any position.

He lived with it, though. There was no use complaining.

Hikaru was more than excited by their pact of living together. He smiled widely and Akira knew he actually enjoyed the idea of living with Akira. That helped his self esteem a bit. But not much.

The elevator rides were nice, though. They never really talked through them, but sat in a comfortable silence. That was the best kind, Akira decided. Nothing was better than an easy, comfortable silence.

"Are we going to share a bedroom?" Akira asked in one of these silences. Hikaru seemed to hesitate.

"Do you wanna?" he asked.

Akira simply nodded, giving Hikaru a sly smile.

"Then we'll share it," he answered plainly. "All teenage boys living together do that." He grinned.

"Yes, all of them. Silently whispering 'no homo,' as they cuddle with their roommate."

That made Hikaru laugh. Akira loved his laugh.

"We should have a house warming party." Hikaru suggested.

"Party?" Akira echoed. "Aren't we too antisocial for that?"

"Maybe you are," Hikaru teased, elbowing him in the side- Akira took a sharp inhale, biting back a swear and pretending he was alright- "But not me. Even the dead want to befriend me." Akira wondered where that comment came from, and hoped Hikaru wasn't tiptoeing around graveyards seeking new friends.

After they got all the boxes and furniture up and in the apartment, Akira plopped down on the couch as he promised himself. "Do you seriously want to have a party? Don't know if I'm up for a party," Akira told him.

"Yeah, it'll be awesome, don't worry." Hikaru assured him.

"Well, alright. You're making a guest list, though. It's not my fault if they don't like me."

"Why do you think everyone doesn't like you?" Hikaru asked him, furrowing his brows slightly in annoyance.

"It's not a thought, it's an observation."

"It's a pessimistic observation."

"No, it's a realistic observation."

Hikaru sighed. "Hey, I used to think you were a cocky, self assured son of a bitch, ya know?"

Akira just looked at his lover. "Thanks."

Hikaru blinked. "No, I mean, like..." He sighs in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair. "I would've never have guessed how insecure you are."

Akira raised his eyebrows. "I am not insecure!"

Hikaru out right rolled his eyes and he sat down and pulled a box to him. "You are too. You say you're not and that you don't care what others think but in reality it's all you care about." He lifted the large wooden box that was the go board out of the box, setting the gobins on top.

Akira didn't answer right away, looking up at the ceiling in lieu of a reply. "There is a difference from caring and being affected by things, you know. Like it or not, no matter how little I think of their opinions, that doesn't make them go away." He turned slowly on his side, looking at Hikaru. "Tell me, Shindo, If I don't care about murderers does that keep them from killing?"

Hikaru met his gaze for a moment, then look back down at the board, eyebrows knitted. "They're not even close to murderers, and you know it, Toya," he stabbed back with the inclusion of his last name, swearing he saw a flinch. "That's a pretty over-exaggerated metaphor."

Hikaru listened to the weight put into the next sentence Akira had said, seeming to weigh down his very soul. "You can't tell how people act when the world isn't watching."

The pause was deep at that moment; silence thick enough to cut with a knife. Then Akira gestured, "Hikaru, come here."

Hikaru sighed. "Why don't you come over here?" He replied with hardly a hint of the fact it was a question in his voice.

"I'm very tired, Hikaru, just scoot over to me, please."

Hikaru felt a tingle go up his spine as Akira repeated his name. He knew Akira loved saying his first name, and Hikaru loved hearing it come out of his precious lips. That was enough to coax Hikaru meter from where he was sitting to the couch. As he scooted in front of Akira, Akira cupped his chin in his hand, awkwardly, from the way he was sitting.

"What are you doing," Hikaru grumbled.

"Hikaru," Akira said gently, barely even a breath, but it filled Hikaru with the warmth of his voice. Sitting up slightly so their faces would meet, Akira brushed the sides of their noses together, teasing Hikaru just enough for him to get goosebumps. And then, in the same, hushed tone, he whispered, "Let's make love."

Hikaru blinked. "It's the middle of the day!" He squawked.

Akira smiled softly. "So...? We can close the blinds, go into the bedroom.. We can have a little house warming party of our own." Then Akira winked. Akira seriously winked. Hikaru never thought he'd ever see that happen ever. It was so dorky.

Hikaru flushed and looked down. "Tired my ass."

"Huh?"

"You said you were tired. Doesn't sound like it to me."

Akira knit his eyebrows and gave Hikaru a little peck on the jaw. "Hikaru," he whispered.

Hikaru sighed. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

Hikaru smiled slightly and pushed Akira playfully. "Idiot." He stood up, looking around so Akira wouldn't see his flustered face. "I'll finish putting stuff away, you can call people for the party."

(Past)

So Hikaru decided he sort of liked Toya.

Awhile after the incident with Yashiro, Hikaru tried to keep his infatuation with Akira on the down low. He did everything like normal: talked to him like normal, looked at my like normal, smiled at him like normal – that was the hardest. But otherwise, Akira would've been put off. Akira was really smart, that was for sure. If he found out, he'd distance himself.

One day they were sitting at a table at Toya's go salon, just playing a game like normal. They were chatting aimlessly, about the game and about things going on in their lives. Toya told him about a recent study group he had, where Ogata got drunk. (Hikaru had replied, "What else is new?") Eventually, Hikaru blurted out a question to Toya:

"How'd you know?"

Toya looked confused. "That he was drunk? Shindo, it was fairly obvious. He reeked of liquor and –"

"No, not that."

"Then what? How'd I know what?"

Hikaru finally caught himself in what he was saying, as the words caught themselves in him throat. But he figured he was too far in to suggest something different. He stared at the go board, not daring to look up and see Toya's questioning eyes gazing at him. His voice was small. "That you were gay."

After a few long moments with no reply, Hikaru wondered if Toya even heard him. Hesitantly, he looked up at the other. Damn! He called it. Those brilliant eyes were staring at him, absorbed into the conversation. "Did you hear me?" Hikaru asked.

Toya blinked a few times and snapped out of it, looking sideways, toward the floor. "Oh, sorry, yeah. I did."

Hikaru waited a moment, seeing if he would reply or if he'd have to push him some more to get an answer. Just as Hikaru was about to say something like 'Well?' Toya began talking.

"I... don't really know, Hikaru. I just did, I guess." Now Toya was the one not looking at him.

"Oh, okay," Hikaru replied, not really satisfied with the answer. "Wait, did you just call me 'Hikaru'?"

Toya jumped a bit. "Shit, sorry."

"Oh my god," Hikaru beamed. "Did you seriously just swear?"

"Seriously Shindo, knock it off. It just slipped."

"My first name, or the swear?"

"Both."

Hikaru smiled, even thought Toya was slightly annoyed, he felt a little more casual with him now. He leaned forward, elbow on the table and looking at Toya. "You can call me Hikaru, if you want."

Toya blinked up at him. "Oh, um. Alright, I guess."

Hikaru waited for him to suggest the same to him, but it didn't happen. "So what about me? Can I call you by your first name?"

"No," Toya rapid-fire answered.

Hikaru frowned. "No fair! I'm revoking your first name privilege."

Then Toya laughed. Like, actually laughed. It was exciting. Hikaru hadn't seen that since before Akira told him. "Alright, you can call me by my first name, if you really want to."

Hikaru brightened up. "Okay, Akira." Was that blush he saw? Did Yashiro guess right? Or was it just the lighting? "But anyway, I don't really like the answer, 'I just knew.' Are you sure you can't think of anything more detailed?"

Akira rolled his eyes. "You become gay, then tell me how you knew. It's not as easy as you think." He sighed a bit and ran his fingers through his hair – there it was again. "I didn't really know. I just slowly realized it, I guessed. Now can we stop? I feel like you just brought this up to distract from you losing this game terribly."

Hikaru raised his eyebrows. "I am not losing!"

"You are too, loser. Or do you think you can bounce back?"

"I do think that, and I'm gonna kick your ass!" Hikaru grinned.

And Hikaru actually ended up winning.