How I Met Jane Eyre

Chapter 2 – Bertha

"My story starts, my dears," I told my children, "fifteen years before I even met your mother, by telling you about the first woman I was ever with: Bertha Antoinetta Mason, a Creole, from Spanish Town, Jamaica."

"How did you meet her, Papa?" Janet asked.

"Well, my dear, I will tell you. You see my father, who favoured my older brother, Rowland, above me, was going to leave him with everything; but he didn't want a son left with nothing. So once I left college and came home, he told me that he had made arrangements with a Mr Mason, who was an old acquaintance of his (and of mine through his son, Richard, who I had known since his younger days), who owned a plantation in the West Indies. He also had a daughter, who Mason was willing to give thirty thousand pounds if she married me (I was left in the dark about the money; for all I was told was that I was to go to Jamaica to court a Miss Mason, to see if she would steady me a bit, for I was a little bit "wild" in my younger days). Anyway, my father agreed to this arrangement, and I was sent to Jamaica. And as I wanted to do whatever I could to please my father, I agreed to go."

"Why did your father value your brother more than you, Papa?" my son then asked of me.

I looked at him steadily for a few moments, before I answered, "Because, my dear boy, Rowland was always the handsome one out of the two of us and was the spitting image of my father, in appearance as well as mind. For you see, they shared the same interests, such as hunting and some other rather violent means of entertainment, whereas I was always a gentle soul, like my mother, who were interested in nature, books and poetry. I was very close to my mother when I was a young boy. You would have liked her," I said, smiling at my children. "I believe she would have fawned over you."

"Do you think she would have liked Mama?" Janet piqued up.

I chuckled before I said, "I believe that she would have loved your Mama, Janet. If only she was here to see you now; she would have been very proud of you, I'm sure … but she died when I was eight; and as much as I tried to be close to my father – both before and after my mother's death – he always pushed me away, always putting Rowland before myself.

"I had a very lonely childhood, I'm afraid. I mostly kept to myself, keeping my head down and studying hard, but making a few acquaintances and some close friendships along the way; one of whom is Mr Eshton, who you both know of and who I have known since my schooldays, has been one of the truest friends I have had. Oh, the stories I could tell you … but we're getting off topic. Unlike Rowland, I studied hard, just in case I needed to make my own way in the business world, which now leads me right back into the main story.

"I knew nothing of Miss Mason before I saw her after a few months' journeying across the sea. The only thing I really knew about her was that she was called by her circle, the "Beauty of Spanish Town", which was no lie: I found her to be in the style of an old acquaintance of mine, Blanche Ingram (who I am glad you haven't met – and I pray to God you never meet her – for she's not worth the trouble.), but I'll get to her later on. Miss Mason was tall, dark and majestic. Not only was it from pressures from her family, but also because I knew of my desires of that type of woman – choosing to ignore the fact that true beauty is found within; a lesson I never really learnt until I met your mother, and also a lesson I hope that you will both remember – I began to court her."

"What?!" my children yelled indignantly.

"Forgive what I say, my dears, for it is true. You see, her family wanted me to be a part of them through the bondage of marriage with Bertha, because I was of good race, and so was she. I hardly ever saw her alone and had very little conversation with her, which was really because I was blown away by her beauty, falling head-over-heels for her because of it, and there was also the fact that she charmed and flattered me, displaying her charms and accomplishments for me rather lavishly,; add to that that she was finely dressed whenever I saw her at parties, and I was pretty much presented with the full package (I say almost, for I should have been suspicious of why this was; but being young and innocent to such things at the time, I didn't have any doubts, I'm ashamed to say now, when I should have had them. Once again, my children, I say, forgive me.).

"Anyway," I continued after a few moments, "all the men in her circle wanted to be with her, and wanted to be me because I was with her. I was, as you two have both probably guessed by now, dazzled and stimulated by her. My senses were excited in ways in which they had never been before; and because I was raw, inexperienced and a rather ignorant blockhead, I actually thought that I loved her."

"Oh, Papa," Janet said, looking at me with pity in her eyes.

"Did you tell her you loved her?" Eddie asked cautiously.

I nodded my head a few times solemnly, before I said, "Yes, son, I did. I was that infatuated with her that I told her that amongst other such helplessly romantic and dewy things time and time again – making quite a fool of myself, I'm sure, looking back on those days now – without a care in the world. I was blinded, to say the least; blinded by my own foolish thoughts and ideas of what I thought love was, because of how youthful in was. I dashed forwardly to her side whenever I saw another man approach her; not only because I wanted to spend all my time by her side, but also because her relatives encouraged me to do so …"

"Papa?" said Janet slowly. I looked at her and saw that she was trembling, afraid of what she was going to ask me next. I knew what she was going to ask, and understood her nervousness and her terror; so I nodded my head gently, allowing her to go on. She gulped before she said, "Y-you didn't –" she paused, took a breath and said, "marry her, did you?"

"I'm afraid to say, Janet dear, that your mother is the second woman that I married, not the first." I paused for a few moments, allowing my children, who were shocked at this news, absorb it all in, before I continued: "Yes, I married Miss Mason before I even knew where I was. I regret that action highly now, you know. I have no respect for myself when I think back to those days. If I knew then what I know now – well, let's just say that I would have taken my life down a very different track than the one I travelled down before I met your mother."

"What happened next, Papa?" Janet asked. "And why do you speak with such regretful tones?"

"Janet. Eddie. What I have to say next will shock you beyond belief. Do you still wish to know?" I waited with baited breath, as my children thought about it and then slowly nodded their heads. I sighed in acquisisance, before I said, "All right, then. So, my bride's mother I had never met. At the time I thought that this was because I believed that she was dead. I was mistaken, in fact, because she was in fact mad. Utterly insane. Locked up in an asylum. There was a younger brother, too who was a dumb idiot. The elder brother, Richard (who will come up again much later on in this story) showed care and interest in his sister – who went down the same path as her mother, which I will get to – until – well, we'll get to that event. My father and brother knew of the story about Bertha's mother, but resolved to keep it against me, for they were only interested in the money, and were joined together in the cruel plot against me.

"Anyway – before I learnt all that – it was a day and a half after I was married that I went looking for Bertha, for she had wandered off somewhere and I wanted to just be with her, in order to get to know her better; except that when I found her, I realised right then just what sort of wife I had been tricked into; for I found her in the arms of another man, and was clearly enjoying herself. When she saw me, I expected her to jump out of the man's arms, shocked that I had found her in such a way, and would beg my forgiveness. Instead, she looked at me and laughed, with a look of such pure hatred in her eyes; hatred that in later years I began to grow accustomed to. I was willing to overlook this shocking news at first and try to go on with my married life with Bertha as normally as I possibly could; but as I was soon to find out, normal with Bertha was not going to be possible …"

"My children," I continued after a few moments, "this is the reason why me and your mother want you to find love in your own time, and why we have not forced you into a marriage; for I – and nor does your mother – want you to end up in the same sort of life as me. So be wary, my dears, when it comes to love. Janet, you make sure that the man you're with doesn't do anything to harm you," I said, looking at my daughter. She nodded fitfully before I turned my attentions to her brother: "And you, Eddie, be sure you get to know the woman that you're with, for I'm sure you don't want to be in the same spot I was, do you, son?"

"N-no, Father, I do not."

"Good," I smiled at both my children, before I got serious once again and said, and now that that's out of the way, I can now continue my tale."