A/N: This is going out to a request from Demonicsis, since I can't start this anytime soon. might as well preview oneshot it. This is a Hercules!au and it's Meg's seduction attempt scene. Also, for the revolution! According to what I know, we're no longer behind!

"I can't believe this guy." Pitch grumbled looking over an edge to where little by little, Jack is starting to be more visible to the public of Berk now. "He's no longer immortal; I throw everything I've got at him, but it doesn't even-" he trailed off as Hiccup threw a long sturdy stick at his path.

Toothless bounded towards it, retrieving the stick and returning it to his rider. Hiccup chuckled, patting his head.

"Okay bud, one more," he threw the stick again, and the dragon bounded towards it.

The thing about the stick, it had a crook at the end; a merchandise of sorts. It even had a snowflake painted to the sides.

Pitch seethes. "What is that?" he snarled.

"Uh," Hiccup took the stick back when Toothless returned it, "a fetching stick I carved out? Toothless is starting to be a fan of Jack, so you know," he shrugged.

If looks could kill, Hiccup would see darkness by now. "I've got 24 hours to get rid of this menace, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for centuries goes up in smoke and you are making a merchandise?!" Pitch shot dark nova attack, Hiccup rolls his eyes as he beckoned Toothless to cover him and they were both protected from the blast. Really, living with the evil Spirit of Nightmares, there wasn't much Hiccup could still be scared about.

From afar, all the locals figured it was was a small earthquake.

"Looks like your game's over." Hiccup smirked as Toothless uncovered them, he stood up, walking towards the edge. "Frostbite is hitting every curve you throw at him."

Pitch continued to glare, as an idea struck him, looking over Hiccup's lean form, "Hmm..." he smirked. walking over, "I wonder if maybe I haven't been throwing the right curves at him." Pitch placed his arms on Hiccup's shoulders, running down his arms, Hiccup frowned knowing where this was going "Hic, my love."

"Don't even go there." Hiccup elbowed the Spirit, retreating back to Toothless who hovered protectively. "And we discussed it. Relationship with you is completely out of the contract."

Pitch sighed and got to the point, "See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness I mean for what? We simply need to find out Frost's."

"Hey, if fire didn't work, how else do you defeat ice?" Hiccup asked pointedly "I've done my part. Get your little imps—" he gestured to the fearlings cowering at his realm at the hole before being cut off.

"They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need someone who can... handle him as a man."

Hiccup snorted, crossing his arms. "Hey, I've sworn off having anything to do with people."

"Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into the jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your clan from dying in a War against the Green death. And how did your father thank you? Banishing you for not handling things the Viking way." As he said this, Pitch projected images of the memory. Hiccup could only cringe at the images, swatting them away. "He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Hiccup? Huh?"

Hiccup face-palmed, "Look, I learned my lesson, okay?" he retorted,

"Which is exactly why I got a feeling you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down frostbreath," Pitch took Hiccup's carved stick, handing it to the brunette. Hiccup looked up at him, "and I give you the thing that you crave most in all Valhalla." he whispers at his ear. "your freedom."

Hiccup gasped, gripping the carved stick until it accidentally snaps.

[Skipping Jack's and Manny's coversation because this is just a preview]

Inside a villa, Jack is posing for a painting being done on a shield. Aster is relaying his schedule for the day after this but Jack's mind was too occupied.

"At 1:00 ya got a meetin' with the Groundhog. He's got a problem with beddings. I'd advise you not to wear your new shoes if you wear any but that's not gonna be a problem".

Jack turned to face the bipedal bunny. "Aster?"

"I told you, don't move!" The painter, Bucket, whined like a child.

Jack stiffened and went back to his original pose.

"... place called Arendelle is frozen over because of their own princess cause of some emotional breakdown. Ack, snow, maybe I should just stay here..."

"Aster..."

"... At midnight you gotta help Lady Toothiana collect some teeth. More and more of her fairies continue missing and they need the extra help to keep up the believers."

"Aster!" Jack snapped, throwing his staff down, "What's the point?!" The staff hits the stand wherein the shield Bucket had been painting on was perch and it made him painting across the image.

Bucket gasped in panic. "Ah! I can't do this!" he slammed the shield down, running out of the villa wailing.

"Whoops..." Jack blinked, not expecting that. "... my bad..."

Aster groaned, face-palming. "What do you mean, 'what's the point'? You bloody wanna become a guardian again, don't ya?"

"Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere." Jack sighed, kicking his staff further away.

Aster sighed, picking up the shepherd's crook. "C'mon mate, everyone's counting on ya."

[Skipping again]

"Aw darn," Hiccup feigned a tone of disappointment, making his voice unnaturally loud. "he's probably gone already, I guess I went to see him for nothing!"

There's a startled gasped, a loud thud from a collision and a grunt before Jack appears from under as table. "Hiccup!"

"It's all right." Hiccup snickered, walking over to the dimmortalized immortal. "The sea of raging hormones has ebbed."

Jack grinned widely, flying over to the brunette. "Gee, it's great to see you! I missed you." he admitted boldly.

Hiccup ignores the young man's obvious flirting, dropping on a couch. "So, this is what guardians do on their days off, huh?" he looked a side table where there were some figurines.

"Aw, I'm not a guardian." Jack sighed, kicking at the floor. "... I wish."

Hiccup laughed for good measure, lying on his belly, his arms folded in front of him to face Jack fully. "Sure you are. Everybody thinks you're noblest defender since the great Bork."

"Well, there's that." Jack had to admit, it was better than being ignored. Then again... "It's crazy you know, I can't go anywhere without being mobbed by the ladies, I mean, I'm not against females but I have an eye for someone who's not so fema—"

Hiccup forestalled him, picking up a squeeze toy of Aster. "Ah. You sound like you could use a break. Think your nanny bunny would go berserk," he squeezed the bunny toy, "if you played hooky this afternoon?"

"Oh geez." Jack grinned, excited. "I dunno~ sounds like I'd be in for some real trouble later. Aster's rules are I'm not allowed out unless I tell him why and where."

Hiccup smirked, getting on his feet, crossing his arms. "If I remember correctly," he drawled. "you never did pay attention to rules."