Author Note: Again thank you to everybody that has been kind of enough to review, favorite, and/or follow. It is a big ego boost. This chapter is sorta short, but I will try not to leave it hanging too long before the next update.
Weeks later.
Dana blew her whistle, the shrill noise immediately reducing the movement in the water.
"Alright ladies cool down." The swimmers expressed gratitude at being able to end the tough workout. Dana started walking around the edges of the pool to where I was standing, frantically jotting down notes in my notebook.
"Well?" I said, looking up from the words to her. She was smiling broadly.
"Emily that was a great workout you prepared. And you didn't seem nearly as distracted. What's gotten into you?" She asked, trying to read my expression to figure out what the secret could possibly be.
"I guess I just decided it was time to really be present. I miss swimming myself…but I want to try and help this team be the best they can be at it." Dana nodded appreciatively.
"I haven't seen you motivated like this since high school…keep it up. The team needs you like this all the time." She said before walking away. It felt good for Dana to see the improvement. I started to head out myself, but decided to stop putting off one other loose end.
"Sydney?" I gestured for her to come over. She looked like she was stuck between confusion and fear.
"Yes Coach Fields?" Sydney seemed uncomfortable in her own skin as she answered, wrapping a towel around her waist and peeling off her swim cap.
"Relax. I just wanted to say sorry. You were right; I was still being hard on you. What happened with Jenna was when I was in high school. I should have left it in the past. You realize you will probably make captain this year right?" She blushed furiously, but nodded in acceptance.
"Great. Then you should know that the swim camp is helpful but it isn't everything. You will want to keep your cardio up. It just happens I'm training for a race…would you like to train with me?" I suddenly felt as shy as Sydney looked up at me and considered my proposal. She really hadn't realized what kind of game Jenna had involved her in…she had just assumed it was a little Mean Girls stuff. Nothing like the Scream movie it really turned out to be.
"Um…I would love to. Yes. When did you want to start?" She seemed to finally breathe in and out after realizing I wanted to make amends.
"How about tomorrow morning? It'll be Saturday so you won't have to come to practice afterwards." She agreed and started to walk away, clenching her shoulders in a nervous gesture still. But then she turned around.
"What about Alison? She still doesn't like me…I know she probably wouldn't like you hanging out with me." It took me by surprise, even though it shouldn't. Alison had never forgiven Sydney for getting involved in Jenna and Mona's game, and still suspected she knew more about Jenna's true intentions then she had let on. But none of that mattered to me anymore.
"We…aren't together anymore. So it's fine." Sydney's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at the news.
"Does Paige know?" She eagerly inquired.
"Not yet…and I hope it can stay that way till I'm ready to tell her myself. Understood?"
"But it is nearly the end of the summer…she will be going back to school soon…" Sydney reasoned. I smiled even though it broke my heart to think about it. Reach out before I'm ready or risk losing her for good this time?
I coughed and asked again if she could keep a secret. The irony didn't escape me.
"Yes coach. See you Saturday!" She shuffled off. I felt another burden come off my shoulders. It turned out it was much easier to just try and do the right things versus hold on to the anger.
When I thought about Paige, my stomach knotted in some bizarre cross between nerves, lust, and longing. I don't know why I was scared to tell her. She had all but said she would give it another chance. Part of me couldn't believe I was still waiting around, leaving Paige open to another girl stealing her heart. Someone like Vanessa or another girl back in California.
But I knew I wasn't ready. I had to learn who I was. I stared out at the pool, thinking about how much easier it seemed before. As crazy as everything else had been in high school, Paige was the one thing that had given me the hope of a happy ending.
"The hallways all seem smaller than they were in high school." Aria said, startling me from my thoughts.
"Well that is an especially interesting observation coming from you." I said, arching an eyebrow.
"I'm not that short!" She scolded, following me as I walked to the office.
"Come on I just need to pick up my bag and we can go."
"Are we going to have to meet at these random dive bars for the rest of our lives in order to avoid Alison?" Hanna asked, frustrated.
"Probably not. No. Well just the rest of the summer for me. Come on guys it's already weird enough I have to see her all the time when I leave my house. The last thing I want to see is her in the middle of picking someone up at the bars we used to go to together." I frowned imagining it.
"I like it. I think this place has character." Aria commented, her eyes searching the paint-splatted walls and etchings from previous patrons. Its walls did faintly resemble the sort of thing Aria would wear to school. "And I think I might have a solution to your being in the same neighborhood dilemma AND your still living at home dilemma." Aria suggested, biting her lip.
"Yeah what's that?" I asked.
"You could sublet my place while I'm in Europe! It fits in your budget and it's already furnished. Plus I would know I could trust you to not burn it down. Or blow it up. Or drive a car through it. Dealing with A really made me come to appreciate the importance of renter's insurance." Aria declared.
"Really Aria? That would be great!" I can't believe the simple solution of taking Aria's place never occurred to me.
"You should go see it too, before you move in. It's important." Spencer urged.
"Thanks future attorneys of America…but why? I've been to Aria's place plenty of times. Unless you are hiding some Red Room of Pain behind a bookcase…you aren't right?" Sure Aria's place had a certain…look to it, but I could get used to stuffed animals and an excessive amount of books and notepads.
"Would you rather me say yes or no?" She asked while smirking.
"I'm not sure." Spencer mumbled, quirking an eyebrow.
"Why are you drinking Guinness?" Hanna asked, nodding towards Aria's glass. Aria pulled the pint towards her body protectively.
"I want to be able to drink like the locals once I get there." She admitted, taking another swallow and grimacing a bit. "It isn't that bad once you get used to it." She added.
"It looks like you're loving it." Hanna observed. "So…you really haven't talked to her at all? Do you think I still have to invite her to my wedding?" She appeared lost in thought as she tried to picture it.
"No I haven't talked to her since we broke up. It's your wedding, it is up to you. Don't worry about me and having her there." It was so far away, it was hard to picture.
"It would be weird not to invite her now…I mean she came to the engagement party." Hanna explained.
"She will probably say no anyway. She isn't going to try and upstage you anymore. That Alison is thankfully gone." Spencer reassured, taking another sip of her beer.
"I'm not worried about me; I'm just worried about Alison's relationship with half the guests." Hanna said, looking directly at me. I rolled my eyes.
"Guys it'll work itself out. Ali isn't the person they remember her as anymore. And it isn't like I can't stand to be in the same room with her. I just realized she was never going to move ahead with me." I tried to explain.
"Well Paige is standing up for Caleb, and I'm pretty sure Alison is exactly who she remembered her being." Spencer pointed out.
"Touché. But they were civil at the engagement party. Have you talked to Paige? Does she know…" Aria asked.
"No not yet. It's too soon. Besides I don't know how to have that conversation with her." I shrugged. The break up hadn't been about wanting to be with Paige. It had been about things not working with Alison.
"Well, to be fair, you guys seemed to have this conversation every few weeks in high school. How difficult could it be at that rate?" Spencer asked, smiling.
"What conversation?" I asked.
"The conversation about how you really, actually want to be with her. You had the conversation so often the last time you guys had it, Paige just asked to skip the talk and kiss you. Senior year right?" Hanna added, starting to smile too.
"Alright alright enough." I said, slamming my beer down as I started to smile myself. Now they were openly laughing. "You guys aren't even that funny." I got up and started to leave.
"Oh come on Em we are just joking around!" Spencer called out.
"And we have to discuss when we are going shopping for your bridesmaid dresses!" Hanna shouted after me. I shook my head.
"I have a run scheduled with Sydney tomorrow morning. Have to up bright and early." I explained. This caused them all to get up and hug me.
"I'll schedule an apartment showing with you as soon as possible." Aria reassured. I shook my head, eager to tell my parents about the arrangement Aria was offering.
My parents had been thrilled with the idea of me taking over Aria's lease while she was away. After a few days Aria, Spencer, and Hanna had all badgered me into visiting Aria's place to get an idea of the environment. I should have known they were all up to something. When I knocked on Aria's door, it seemed like it took forever for her to come let me in.
"Hey." She chirped, her voice sounding tight and nervous. "Come in." She opened the door wider and I stepped over the threshold.
"Okay I'm here for this grand tour you guys are all so insistent on…" I stopped midsentence. Paige was sitting on the couch. Upon hearing my voice, she stood up, tucking hair behind her ear and dipping her head down, before nervously risking a glance in my eyes.
"Hey Em." She said. I felt a strange and abrupt swirl of excitement and fear at seeing her. A voice in my head whispered too soon, but I could barely hear it over the beat my heart was starting to drum.
"Yeah so I'm going to leave you two alone to have…any…uh let's just call them 'conversations' you may need to have." Aria sheepishly said, practically jogging out the door before I could think to stop her. Aria had been right back in high school; she really could move quickly when it was necessary. The three of them had planned this.
"Paige." I whispered. I felt dizzy, light in the head and heavy everywhere else, like all my blood was being pulled down in my body.