"So you threw yourself at her and she rejected you? I thought the cutoff shorts were a sure bet…" Hanna mused. I had finally cried myself out, and nearly managed a laugh at her words. Instead I just hiccupped in response.
"Hanna! It's nothing like that. I just miss her. I know I have to wait because I don't want Paige to be a rebound." Hanna handed me a glass of water, rubbing my back while I sipped it down.
"I'm sorry you're upset, but I'm proud of you for not rushing things just because she is leaving." We sat quietly for a few moments as I let it sink in. This heartache was necessary if I ever hoped to make things right with Paige. Then a thought bubbled up to the surface, something I wanted to screen with Hanna.
"There's something else…something I nearly forgot about. When she was out of the room, her phone went off with a text." I nervously started, already fearing Hanna's wrath for me checking the message.
"You checked her phone? Emily! If you want her back you can't be doing stuff like that." She sounded exactly like Spencer when it came to all things Paige.
"It wasn't like I grabbed it! It lit up on the screen. And my point is it was from Caleb. It said something about telling her before she found out." Hanna narrowed her eyes.
"Caleb? That little weasel," she seemed to pause and collected her thoughts and manners; "I mean my wonderful fiancé. I wonder what he knows?" She asked out loud.
"You mean you don't?" I pushed, hoping for any bit of information. I had a bad feeling the text was something to do with me.
"No I really don't. Caleb has always been quiet about Paige."
"Probably because he realized we would be having gossipy conversations like this one." Hanna's expression suggested this was an insightful revelation to her.
"Oh my God you are so right!" She said, dropping her hand away from my back. "You are still in recovery. How about we go out to dinner? Just the two of us? No homo." She added.
"You didn't need to add the no homo…that was understood. Let's go I'm starving." I was smiling while I said it though.
"I'm thinking Italian…regrettable amounts of carbs not to mention wine with our fake ID's." Hanna suggested, pulling me up and towards the door.
Weeks later.
"It's been intense. But winning last Saturday with split seconds to spare was well worth it. I think the new cap and suit are really having an impact on my ability to cut through the water…this is boring you beyond belief isn't it?" Paige asked, looking up into her laptop's camera as if she could look into my eyes through it.
"Not at all. My life consists of races and split second wins. And besides…this is about you. I could never get tired of that." I finished lamely, looking down in embarrassment at my forwardness. Her eyes widened in a mixture of shock and surprise before she dipped her head down.
"How was dress shopping with Hanna?" She asked, seeming to remember we rounded up dress shopping this past weekend, before Hanna, Spencer, and Aria left town.
"You don't even want to know. Swim caps are far more riveting."
"That bad?" She implored, smirking.
"After blowing half the weekend on looking and trying? After much bloodshed and tears? I'm happy to report we are actually wearing some half-decent silver dresses. They should look nice with the dark navy suits she said you guys will be wearing." I may or may not have imagined what it would be like walking down the aisle with Paige as a part of the wedding party. She looked like she was thinking about it too. But maybe that was wishful thinking.
"So when are you coming to visit? I still promise beaches, donuts, diners…the whole bit." She said, trying to make her voice sound light even though the intent behind her words was clear to both of us. She gestured towards the background, trying to get me to notice the calendar of beach images to cement her point about scenic attractions.
"San Francisco on the weekend?" I added to tease her.
"Well…maybe we can save that for the second time," She bit her lip and tucker her hair behind her ear, "if there is a second time. I don't want to presume anything." I swallowed hard.
"I would like if we had repeats." I realized the other connotation in my words after Paige started laughing. I blushed and chuckled myself. "Focus! What about the end of October?"
"Halloween?"
"It is Halloween at the end of October. Good memory!" I teased before adding, "I mean for me visiting? If I let school and Dana and work know soon enough I can make sure I leave on Thursday after class and come back Sunday."
"That would be perfect. Now I have to mark that on my calendar." Paige got up and grabbed a marker, marking the days. I had suggested.
"Paige! Stop writing!" I tried to shout into the mic, but wanted to be mindful of my new neighbors. Aria's apartment came complete with paper thin walls. "I don't know for sure, I have to talk it over with Dana and my boss!"
"Coach Dana and I go way back Fields. We have connections. I'm sure if you can't convince her of the merits of her assistant coach coming and gleaning information from one of the top swim programs in the nation, I can fill in any gaps to convince her." She crossed her arms in smug finality.
"And I think Dana is an adult with a brain who will know I'm not visiting you to glean top secret swim information for the Sharks…" I had talked myself into a corner again.
"So what will she think you are coming to do then?" Paige asked, trying to hide her smile behind her hand.
"Shut up. Just let me talk to her. Alright I got to go; my parents are expecting me for our weekly dinner." Weekly dinners were a requirement of me moving out, even though I still lived and worked in town. It helped my parents feel like they were still protecting their little girl.
"Okay Em. I'll talk to you later about costume ideas." Paige said, turning off the camera and signing off. The last Halloween I had spent with Paige we were so happy. Well except for the murders we were happy. But that was par for the course in Rosewood during high school.
"I'm glad to see you happy. I haven't seen you smile like this in months." My mom said, trying to load another breadstick on my plate. Her dinner was loaded with carbs, partially because she thought I need to gain more weight and partially because she said I needed to carbo-load for runs.
"Okay mom that is enough food! I am feeding myself I promise you." I said, pulling my plate away before she could add more.
"Your mom's right. You seem happy." He nodded at me and reached for his glass of water.
"I am. Also I wanted to tell you guys about something. I'm trying to plan a trip to California in late October." I looked down to take a bite of the breadstick, trying to put out a feeler to see how they would react.
"California? What's out there?" Dad asked.
"Paige?" My mom guessed; her voice low and maybe a tad hopeful. Her sincere interest in Paige warmed my heart, and made me a little more confident they would be okay with me going.
"Yes." I breathed out, just thinking about seeing her again. "We have been talking, a lot, and I wanted to visit her at Stanford. She said it would be a good time for her schedule." I flashed back to her saying anytime would be a good time to see me, no matter how busy she was.
"I think that's wonderful." My mom said, giving my dad a meaningful glance. A deliberate one that I thought was her way of encouraging him just to say yes.
"I respect you for running it past us. You are an adult and can do what you want with your time and money. Just be careful." He patted my shoulder, and I could see my mom tearing up a bit.
"Mom please stop! It's only for a few days." But I wasn't really sure that was the part she was tearing up over.
"Okay both of you keep eating. I'll pack up any leftovers so you can bring them back to your apartment." She insisted, twirling a bit of spaghetti on her fork.
Before I left for the evening, my mom stopped me by the door.
"I'm so glad you are going to see Paige again. After Alison I wasn't sure how long it would take for you to move on." She stated, clearly hoping I would elaborate on what I wanted to happen with my relationship with Paige.
"I know. I'm not sure if that will happen, but I think I'm finally ready." I reassured.
"I was never quite off the fence about Alison. She wasn't the one sending all those terrible texts and attacking you, but I could never shake the feeling she wasn't right for you." Her frank honesty on the subject surprised me. I had always gotten the feeling my mom could see some of the tension in my relationship with Alison, but she had respected me enough to leave it alone.
"I know. I don't regret the time I spent with her. But Alison and I want different things. I…I want something like what you and dad have." I added, kissing her on the cheek as I hugged her goodbye for the night.
"I want that for you as well. Let us know when you make it back safe." I told her I would, and headed out into the night. I walked over to my car. There was still a streak or two of sunlight in the dark dusk, but the moon was hanging full and heavy in the horizon. That's probably why I noticed the figure flitting through the bushes across the street towards Alison's house. It was obvious that whoever it was; they were trying to be sneaky. It gave me some bad memories to see someone sneaking around Alison's house. I quickly ducked down and ran to the side of a tree that would intersect with their path. I waited till I could hear their heavy breathing and reached my hand out, snatching the person's hoodie. Their black hoodie.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked, trying to see their eyes. But whoever it was surprised me by reaching up and pulling their hood back, revealing their face. "Jake? What are you doing sneaking over to Alison's?" He ripped himself from my grasp in one fluid motion. I'm lucky he didn't go into some kind of defensive fighting maneuver.
"Emily?" He asked. "Aria's friend right?"
"Yes Aria's friend. What are you doing sneaking over to Alison's?" I repeated, even though I had a feeling why.
"None of your business." Alison called out from her porch, her voice cutting through the air like a dagger. "Come on Jake." Alison added, waving him over.
He shrugged at me and walked past Alison to her front door. She muttered something to him while touching his arm, and he went inside. She then turned back to me.
"Stalking my guests now?" It was hard to tell if she was just being cold or wanted a reaction.
"No. But seeing someone sneaking around in a black hoodie in your lawn put me on edge." I folded my arms. "Why is Jake stopping by? I didn't think you two talked to one another. I didn't even think you knew one another."
"We didn't but things change." She looked down at the bag of containers in my hand. "Still doing dinner with your family?" She asked, softening. Only Alison could go from so cold to warm and inviting. I just hoped she wouldn't go back again. She was still looking at the food, maybe thinking about a part of her life that was over, but that she still missed. I could never tell with her.
"Yes. My mom often forgets I am not running marathons like her, and so she loads me up for the next couple days. How are you?" I asked, trying to be civil. I was also taking in her low-cut black blouse and tight jeans. She looked good.
"Good. But I need to get going." She said, turning and walking away. I called out a goodbye after her, but she just gave a cursory wave. I turned and headed back to my car, more confused than ever by the goings- on of Rosewood. Maybe it was time for me to transfer out and ditch this town anyway.
Days Later.
I looked around the pile of papers on the coffee table, rubbing my bleary eyes. I had a huge essay due for my Racial and Ethnic Diversity class. I started to brew a cup of strong black tea, and checked Skype again. Paige was still offline. It made sense, it was a Friday night. She was probably out somewhere with friends.
I hadn't really made friends in college. Commuting to school had saved me loads of money; money I desperately needed since my swimming scholarships fell through with my injury, but it came at the cost of my social life. Being a commuter at Hollis was like having the scarlet letter on my chest when it came to making friends. Not to mention my trust issues with strangers after everything that happened in high school.
As I was pouring the tea out of the infuser (I was becoming dangerously accustomed to Aria's fancy tea collection), my Skype window made a bleep and started flashing. I saw Paige had typed hello, and I felt a much-needed rush of adrenaline hit my veins at her being there. I dialed her so we could talk.
"Hey! How are you?" She asked, taking a sip from a bottle of water. She looked like she had been out, her makeup done slightly heavier than she usually did it for school.
"I'm busy, but good. Listen Paige…" She groaned.
"When statements start with 'listen Paige', they tend to not be things I want to hear." She mused. The image was pixilated, but she did look worried.
"I want to come see you. That weekend we talked about."
"Seriously?" She exclaimed, her eyes bright and happy.
"Seriously let's do it." I said, smiling. I was glad with the video quality that she probably couldn't see I was tearing up from a combination of joy and exhaustion.