Thanks for your patience! I know I haven't been very consistent with updates, but I will complete the story guaranteed.
Once again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or followed this story. It means a lot to know people are reading.
The announcer was droning on, trying to maintain an objective tone, but I already had my hands up in the air in celebration. As soon as the anchor had hit the wall in the final leg, I knew the scores well enough to know the Sharks had won again.
Dana came over and hugged me hard.
"Fields! I can finish up with the cool down and recap, just get out of here and catch that plane!" I smiled and didn't hesitate to turn on my heel. It had been a home meet so I could leave early. I saw Sydney up ahead talking to another teammate. I just caught part of what Sydney was saying.
"…you mean you don't know your APE index? This is frosh soph level knowledge, let's get you measured out." She had the girl stretch out. I came up and tapped her lightly on the shoulder.
"Just remember you had to learn about the APE index too. Congratulations on today. You know I would stay for the cool down but…" I started to walk away towards the offices.
"Go get her Coach Fields!" I didn't need anyone to tell me twice, barely stopping to congratulate the Sharks I saw along the way.
"You have everything you need?" My mom asked again, glancing over as she drove with both hands firmly griping the steering wheel.
"Yes. Same answer I had the first few times."
"Do you need any money?" She asked.
"No. I've been earning tips by flashing people at the Brew." I deadpanned. She nearly swerved off the road, but she finally stopped asking if I had remembered to bring everything I needed to the airport.
Once I got to the right gate, I finally dropped into a chair and tried to relax. I was exhausted and running on pure adrenaline. I craved this for so long, even though I didn't dare admit it to myself. Being with Paige in California was a distant dream, a way to glimpse the life I could have had before the injury.
How can I ever trust you again?
I couldn't begin to imagine how to undo all the hurt, the pain I had caused her. A grand, romantic gesture couldn't undo the past. And I wasn't nearly as good at the stuff as Paige had been. The intercom crackled to life and announced my group could board the plane. I picked up my purse and walked up to the entrance.
When I got to my seat I noticed I was sitting next to a brown haired girl who had to be about the same age as me. She looked like she was trying to contain a big smile as she stared out the window. Her faced seemed to naturally fall into a happy expression, and she struck me as the kind of person that was always smiling even when she was sad.
"Hi." I quietly said, so I wouldn't startle her when I went to sit next to her. Her wide brown eyes seemed to take me in while her brain was miles away, lost in her thoughts.
"Hi!" She greeted me. She seemed to think a moment, and added "I'm Rachel."
"Uh yeah. I'm Emily." I hoped I didn't have someone next to me who liked to chat. Then the speaker system in the plane came on.
"Sorry but due to inclement weather landing in San Francisco, we are being advised to delay departure by at least 45 minutes." The collective groan rose up in the aisles. I pulled out my phone.
Emily: They are delaying departure by at least 45 minutes. That will put me there at about two in the morning.
Why had they put us all on the plane if they thought we would have to delay departure anyway? After a few moments my phone buzzed.
Paige: Darn. I'll have to pay the marching band and mimes for another hour.
Emily: That part about the mimes isn't funny. Actually none of that is funny. But thanks for being cool about it.
It took a bit for her to reply.
Paige: Of course. I get to see you.
Even in a text message, I could hear Paige's heart in her words. I closed my eyes and tried to doze, tried to imagine already being in her arms. Tried to imagine us working through things, even though I was trying so hard not to get my hopes up.
Something was shaking me, jolting me from my dreams and a bit of drool.
"Ma'am! You need to turn your phone off and buckle up, we are about to take off!" The stewardess clucked. I nodded and turned my phone to airplane mode before strapping in. Then I just hoped to spend the rest of the flight sleeping.
"Have you been to California before?" Rachel asked, looking a bit more forlorn as she gazed out the window. I felt drowsy and too warm. I reached up and turned the air vent above me on, relishing the cool air.
"No. It's my first time. You?" I asked, thinking she would just stop trying to make conversation after a while.
"Mine too. But San Francisco is just a layover. I'm on my way to Los Angeles to try out for a television pilot." Again she was smiling, but I could tell she was trying to make up for how nervous she seemed to be.
"Are you an actress?" I asked. Maybe a conversation would help kill time.
"I am currently on Broadway." She didn't elaborate on what show she was in. Maybe she was so minor or the show was so bad she didn't want to say. Still, it was impressive to make it all the way to Broadway.
"Broadway as in New York Broadway?" She nodded, seeming to waver between being proud and modest about her accomplishments. "That's amazing. I mean I swam in high school, but I can't imagine the courage it would take to get up on a stage in front of hundreds of people."
"The stage just feels natural to me. But we are all brave in our own way. At least hopefully, when it counts to be anyway. What brings you to California?" I could just be evasive, but then thought better of it. I would probably never see Rachel again…and something told me a Broadway actress wasn't new to being around gay people. She looked at me quizzically, and I realized I had paused for a long time.
"I'm visiting my girlfriend…well actually my ex-girlfriend who may now become my girlfriend again. It's…"
"Complicated?" She offered with a smile. I dipped my head, a little embarrassed at divulging about my relationship with Paige.
"Yes. Exactly. Mainly because of me." I could have stopped. Usually I wouldn't talk to a stranger about anything personal. But Rachel's eyes were wide and friendly. "I really screwed things up with her a few years ago…and I'm hoping this trip might help put us back on the right track."
"My friend…well more like frenemy and roommate…is gay. You actually remind me of her…though I can already tell you are probably saner than Santana." I laughed although I wasn't sure why. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you say you screwed things up?" She asked. I realized she wanted this conversation to distract her. I did too. So I talked, trying to fill her in on Rosewood and Alison and Paige. It was a long, convoluted story even when I tried to reduce the amount of murder and mayhem the complete story entailed.
By the time I had finished, the stewardess had already given us our first round of soda and pretzels. And she had come back to collect the garbage. Rachel had listened patiently the whole time, only occasionally stopping me for clarification.
"She's your Finn." She quietly assessed once I had gotten to where we were now.
"Uh…come again?"
"Sorry. I just mean you two remind me of my boyfriend…ex-boyfriend Finn."
"Have a hard time figuring out the boundaries too?"
"I guess that is one way to put it. He died." She looked down at her table tray.
"I am so sorry. That was incredibly stupid of me to presume." I wringed my hands, uncomfortable, but Rachel shook her head.
"Don't feel like you need to apologize. It wasn't a crazy assumption, we are both young. His death was unexpected, but I do wish I could go back and change our last few months together. We were broken up and always sort of assumed we would end back up together when the time was right." She cleared her throat.
"I guess what I'm saying is if you can fix things, do it sooner rather than later? Don't risk losing her again. If she's what you want." One side of her mouth turned up in bittersweet acknowledgement. She had lost the person she wanted to be with, she didn't someone else to lose theirs.
She's all I want. I didn't realize I had spoken out loud until she nodded at me.
The rest of the flight I slept a few disjointed minutes here and there, but still felt discombobulated as the plane touched down. The other passengers were trickling out at far too slow pace, and I tried to not push past them. Once we got inside the terminal, I said farewell and good luck to Rachel. Then I nearly broke out into a jog. I wanted to run into her arms.
Then I saw a rest room and thought I should at least touch myself up first.
My lip stick had come off a bit, as had some of the foundation. I readjusted, wanting to look perfect. Because from the second I saw Paige, the clock would be counting down till when I had to say goodbye again. Once I was satisfied, I continued at my frantic pace. I saw her before she saw me. She was wearing a brown suede coat that suited her, emphasizing the light blonde tones in her hair now.
She glanced up when I got within twenty feet of her. Her eyes widened in surprise but a huge smile cracked over her face.
"Em." She called out. I finally screeched to a halt, just taking in her build and demeanor.
"Paige." We hugged hard, pressing our bodies together in front of the empty food kiosks and other exhausted passengers from the long night flight. I wrapped one of my hands in her hair, breathing in her citrus scent mixed with something that reminded me of the beach. She kissed the top of my shoulder and neck, pecking them as if to make sure I was really there. We stood there far longer than we normally would have, surrounded by strangers. But they weren't all strangers. Right by one of the far doors leading to a fleet of taxis, Rachel was watching us. It seemed everything she had brought with her was in her tightly-packed carry on, seeing as she wasn't waiting for the checked luggage to be released. She didn't say anything when I made eye contact, merely smiling before pushing the door open to walk away into the night.
The metal squealed as the luggage carousel started up, yet we didn't move. Finally Paige pulled away, but I let my hand trail down her jacket sleeve till it rested firmly in one of hers. She looked down at our interlocked fingers for a moment, then back up into my eyes.
"Not letting go huh?" She asked, teasingly.
"Not this time." I whispered, kissing her.