A/N: I always felt The Doctor needed an arse kicking after this episode and as much as I like the thought of Rose telling him off, I just didn't see her doing that. Don't get me wrong, Rose is not the type of girl that won't stand up for herself or others as she has proved countless times, but when it comes to their true feelings for one another they both tend to back down from one another. So, that being said who better than a fiery ginger to put him in his place after that display of stupidity.
One more chapter to go. Hope you guys are liking the rewrite. I'm actually a bit happier with the added depth. Anyway, enjoy and feel free to review.
Chapter Three
"Roooooose!" the Doctor called out, bouncing on his feet with a pleased grin. "Mickey?" he paused, hearing only the faint hum of the ship's engine. "Rose?" he tried again. "Where are you?"
His face fell at the lack of response, the huge grin quickly dissolving into a pout as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked towards the control room. Thinking back over everything that had happened, while it had technically only been a couple of hours for him, the thought of being separated from Rose for hundreds of years had made him extremely anxious to see her.
By breaking through the mirror he had been able to sever the droids connection to the ship, effectively destroying them and resetting the timeline to its proper state. Once he made sure the droids had been properly disposed of to avoid anyone getting their hands on the futuristic technology; which would have led to a whole-nother set of problems, he had plucked a glass of wine from a passing tray as the party resumed and retreated to one of the sitting rooms to wallow in self-regret. As he stood there staring sullenly up at the stars he had imagined Rose doing the same, which just sent another wave of guilt washing over him. He knew what he had done was reckless and although neither Rose nor his own conscience would have allowed him to sit back and let innocent people die, he had still managed to foolishly trap himself without any sort of plan for getting back, far away from his beloved ship and the one person in all of creation he cared for the most. The thought of having to live two decades on the slow path until he could see her again terrified him to his core, so naturally when Reinette found him and showed him that the original fireplace had been moved there to the castle he was elated. He could finally see the light at the end of that long dark tunnel he had almost been condemned to and in the end it only took a little prodding from his sonic screwdriver to activate the time window and send him home.
Throughout the short amount of time he had spent in France he became well aware of Reinette's feelings for him, so seeing the hurt and disappointment on her face as the wall spun back into the ship only managed to fill him with even more guilt. It was his own fault really. He had allowed himself to indulge in her affections in a misguided attempt to create some distance from another situation he was having a hard time dealing with. That being one Rose Tyler, with whom he had grown dangerously close to over the last couple of years, and he had been in immediate need of something that could effectively reconstruct the barriers she had broken down. Unfortunately as usual, the situation had gotten way out of hand and he wasn't sure yet what the repercussions might be. Although his ultimate goal had been distraction, he had a sinking feeling that he might have caused way more damage than was intended. Part of him felt that pushing Rose away was for the best, knowing that pursuing anything more with her would only end in heartache but another part of him was worried he may have pushed her too far with this particular stunt. He was also inwardly berating himself for the way in which he had misled Reinette regarding his intentions, but once again he had just dove into the situation without any forethought of the outcome and he owed it to Reinette to at least offer her a trip to the stars after everything she had been through. So ignoring the warning bells in his head that were screaming it was a bad idea, he ducked down to call to her through the fireplace, telling her to pack a bag and pick a star and then leapt to his feet to seek out his companions.
The Doctor's initial elation over his fortuitous return was now transitioning to slight apprehension as he walked along. He had expected to see Rose's beautiful face, lit up with that smile she held only for him, waiting and ready to be swept up in one of their 'slightly more than platonic' reunion hugs that he so deeply cherished. In fact, from the moment he stepped out of that fireplace he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and breathe her in so that he could put this day behind them and pretend he hadn't just almost lost her for a few centuries. He made a happy noise in the back of his throat as he pictured her reaction to his return, his imagination creating the wonderful imagery of her leaping into his arms and giggling while he spins her around and holds her tight. Of course, emotionally charged situations can sometimes lead to other expressions of affection as well; which he knew first-hand after a short bout of having been turned to stone in ancient Rome. So if she were to maybe kiss him in the heat of the moment... well, he wouldn't exactly be opposed to it. As he stepped into the control room ready to enact his little fantasy, he announced his presence in the normal fashion. He really did have quite the gob in this body as well as a knack for showing off.
"Can you believe it? Reinette actually kept the original fireplace from her childhood home. Had it moved to the castle and everything. And of course me being as brilliant as I am, with some slight jiggery-pokery I was able to get it back online and here I am. Isn't that…?"
He stopped short at the sight of the ginger haired girl sitting in the Captain's chair with her feet propped up on the console. Her arms were crossed and she was staring at her converse clad feet very intently. The Doctor's smile quickly faded, his eyes narrowing and his mouth forming a thin line as he stared at the young woman.
"Who are you?" he asked in a somewhat deadpan tone.
"A friend." The girl replied with an air of nonchalance. "Oh and uh, you can't go back for her." She nodded back towards the direction from which he came.
The Doctor's brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about and where's Rose?" he asked, looking around as he pulled his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and began scanning the room for some sign of his pink and yellow girl.
"You can't go back for Madame de Pompadour." she said popping the second 'P'.
"What?" he turned back to her with a glare, wondering who the hell she thought she was to tell him what he could and couldn't do. "Who are you and where the hell is Rose?" he snapped. "I demand you tell me where she is right now!"
The girl continued to stare at her feet, ignoring the threatening look he was giving her and seemingly not at all bothered by his outburst. "She's safe. Mickey is too." she added, noting that he hadn't even given the younger man a second thought since the first time he called out for them. "They're in the TARDIS." She gestured over her shoulder with her thumb. The Doctor looked towards his ship suspiciously making the girl sigh and stand up. "Honestly, she's fine. Weell, when I say fine I mean physically anyway." His head snapped back towards her at that statement and his brows furrowed. "She's got Mickey to thank for that." she continued. "He took on one of those creepy masked droids back there and froze it before it could harvest their organs. Not that you would've known, seeing as you were off partying with the French. I shudder to think what would have happened to her if he hadn't been here."
Several emotions passed over The Doctor's features, quickly switching from from fear to relief before settling on indignation as he spoke again. "First of all, I was not off partying with Fre-"
"Five and a half hours by the way." She cut him off as she leaned back against the wall, crossing one foot over the other and shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans.
"What?"
"That's how long you've been gone. Five and a half hours, in case you were wondering." Before the Doctor even had a chance to respond, the redhead began laying into him. "And what were you thinking inviting that woman along anyway? You want to take an important historical figure out of her timeline for a quick trip to the stars with your track record of accidental destinations? Did you fall off that horse and hit your head when you crashed through that mirror, 'cause that's all kinds of levels of stupid right there."
"It was only going to be one trip. I didn't…I wasn't…" he sputtered, trying to figure out exactly why he was trying to explain his actions to a stranger. "What business is it of yours anyway and just who the bloody hell are you?!"
She smiled mischievously. "Spoilers."
"What the hell does that mean?"
The redhead glanced over at him warily. She really was planning on trying to have a proper conversation with him but upon hearing him give the invite to that woman, the anger over the whole situation took control once more. "It means I can't tell you. All you need to know is that I'm someone who's very important to you in the future and I'm here to try to clean up this mess you've made."
The Doctor looked taken aback. "The mess I've…?"
"Are you in love with her?" The girl interjected.
"Wha-, Who?"
"Reinette?" she bit out distastefully.
"What? No. How could I be? I've barely known her a day. I mean she's attractive and quite brilliant and I admit I may have been a bit star struck..."
"Diggin' the hole deeper there, Doc."
He glared at her again, the shortened use of his name making him uncomfortable for a different reason. One he didn't want to think about at the moment. "Reinette is an amazing woman, and I care for her but I'm not in love with her." 'Why was he telling this girl any of this?'
"Because you're in love with Rose." she stated with conviction.
"Rose and I are none of your business." He ground out. "Don't presume to think you know everything just because you're supposedly from my future."
"Okay, I'm presuming am I? Well, let's see," she began ticking items off on her fingers. "You asked her to come away with you what was it…three times? You never ask more than once. You took her back to be with her dad when he was hit by the car so he wouldn't die alone…"
"She created a paradox." He countered.
The girl rolled her eyes. "Oh please, like you've never made an error in judgment in the heat of the moment. And anyway, I wasn't finished."
"Oh look at that, rude and ginger." he muttered under his breath.
"I heard that." she said shooting him a look. The Doctor folded his arms across his chest and shrugged, reminding her of some of the old photos Jack had showed her of his previous leather clad regeneration. With a slight smirk and a shake of her head, she pressed on. "And then there was your first date."
The Doctor glanced over at her then, his expression one of feigned ignorance.
"Oh c'mon, don't give me that look like you don't know what I'm talking about. You took her to see the actual end of the earth. I mean talk about trying to make a big first impression. And then of course there was that cozy little dinner of chips for two afterwards. Holding hands while getting to know one another in that back corner booth of that London chippy, even though you made her pay." She paused shaking her head. "I don't know why with as many times as you go to Earth you don't keep more currency on you." Ignoring the irritated look he was now giving her, she continued. "You also sculpted a statue in her likeness, from memory mind you, oh…and did you or did you not kiss her in Rome?"
"I…well, I…" he faltered.
"And speaking of kisses," she cut him off again. "I'll give you the number one reason why I know you love her. You died for her Doctor. You gave your life for her on Satellite 5 and this regeneration," she motioned in his direction. "Was made for her. You recreated yourself based on your feelings for her into someone who you thought would be her perfect match. Just like she recreated herself to be yours."
His head snapped up, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?"
'Crap!' She really needed to get ahold of her emotions before she said too much."Nothing." She waved her hands dismissively; quickly changing the subject. "Not to mention you get all puppy dog eyed whenever you look at her."
"I do not get all puppy dog eyed." He protested weakly, immediately losing his train of thought to the girl's annoyingly accurate depiction of his feelings.
"Right." She drawled. "So, do you need a written formal request or are you gonna go in there and set things straight with Rose?"
He looked up in confusion. "What do you mean? What things?"
"I mean," she said slowly, crossing her arms. "Rose thinks you ran off and left her for the slow path with the King's Mistress."
"I…What?" he shook his head as though to clear it. "Why would she think that?"
"Well, what did you expect her to think when you go snogging that woman and letting her walk around your brain so intimately?"
"I didn't…that's not what happened. She kissed me. And I didn't ask her to look at my memories. I was just trying to find out...wait, why am I even trying to explain myself to you?"
"Good question. You should be explaining yourself to Rose."
The Doctor glared at her, teeth clenched. "For the last time, Rose and I are none of your business."
"Oh, but you are." She replied coolly, her own anger beginning to bubble up just below the surface.
"And why is that hmm?" he was becoming more and more agitated by the second. "No, better yet, how about you start by telling me the truth about who you are and why you're really here."
The girl sighed, trying to regain some control over her emotions and rubbed the back of her neck. "Temporal Paradox." She supplied. "Oh, don't give me that look, I didn't cause it, I'm trying to fix it. Look, you always say that no one is supposed to know too much about their future so I can't tell you everything you want to know. All I can tell you is that what happened here today began a ripple effect that somehow changed the future. All of our futures." she amended.
His eyes burned into her as she spoke. "Why should I believe you? Why should I believe any of this? I don't even know who you are. You tell me you're from my future, you talk in riddles and you just expect me to trust you?"
"Alright, fine. You don't believe me; have a look at my memories then."
The Doctor took a step back. "What?"
"I've seen what happens if this new timeline is allowed to continue and you need to see it too." Observing his discomfort, she hurried to reassure him. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna go barging into your mind like she did. I'm better than that. And I know how to keep you away from the stuff I don't want seen." She walked over and stopped directly in front of him. "Go on then." she said giving the Doctor a pointed look.
He hesitated for a moment in deliberation and then nodded, raising his arms. The girl pushed the memories she wanted him to see to the forefront of her mind, barricading everything else; including her identity behind a wall and as he closed his eyes and touched the tips of his fingers to her temples, the images began to play out like a movie. The first flashes were of Cybermen and Daleks and he felt a wave of anger pass through him. 'Of course they survived. They always manage to survive while I continue to lose everything'. The scene shifted and suddenly he was in a large white room, wind whipping about him as he clutched onto the handle of a metal clamp attached to the wall, watching in horror and anguish while Rose screamed and reached out for him as she was pulled through the air towards the breach before being caught in the arms of a man long thought to be dead and vanishing. "Pete? Pete Tyler? That's…but that's Rose's father." He said in disbelief, voice rising slightly in pitch. "But he's dead, how can he be…"
"Focus Doctor." The redhead's voice interjected.
He walked towards the cold white wall and pressed his hand and face up against it. For a few moments he could still feel her warmth and then it was gone. Resolutely, he pulled back, shoving his hands in his pockets and walked out of the room. The image dissolved and a final memory took its place. He was now standing on a deserted beach staring at Rose's tearstained face, knowing he couldn't even reach out to touch her. In the distance he could just make out Mickey, Jackie and Pete leaning up against a large Jeep. Rose shivered against the cold, bitter wind as it swept around them but he couldn't feel it. Instead he felt numb; almost dead inside, both of his hearts breaking simultaneously as he was forced to say goodbye to the love of his lives.
"Am I ever gonna see you again?" Rose asked shakily.
He shook his head and spoke softly. "You can't."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life. Last of the Time Lords."
"On your own?"
He nodded, attempting a weak smile while trying to keep his tears at bay.
"I L..." the words caught in her throat for a moment and she looked away. Taking a deep breath Rose met his eyes. "I Love You." she choked out as the tears fell in earnest.
"Quite right too." He forced a smile as he felt his whole world caving in. "And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it. Rose Tyler," his mouth began to form the words but his time had run out. She was gone. His Rose was gone.
Opening his eyes and shaking his head, he yanked his hands away from the girl's head as though she had burned him. "What?" he breathed. "That..." He paused, realizing that he had been crying and quickly wiped away the tears that were running down his cheeks.
"That's what will happen if you don't find a way to fix what's gone wrong between the two of you." The redhead told him, her voice wavering. "Doctor, none of what I just showed you was ever supposed to happen. Those….things, those droids, by meddling with the timeline they brought you here and changed the future. To most people it wouldn't even seem significant, but you and I know better don't we? It's the actions that surround that tiny insignificant moment. The choices made. The aftermath. The fallout. All it takes is one little fissure, one tiny little crack administered at the right place at the right moment to make everything fracture."
"I can't listen to this."
The Doctor closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't want to believe the girl but he had seen the truth in her mind so clearly and through those memories, experienced every single emotion emanating from his future self, leaving him feeling destitute and bereft. Rose had been separated from him, forever. He had always known that someday he would eventually lose her but even with all the different possibilities lain out before them, this was beyond anything he could have ever imagined. But then again, maybe this was the universe's way of doing him a kindness. Instead of losing her to the fleeting hand of time or even worse getting her killed in one of the many danger situations he was constantly putting her in, she could actually go on to live a normal life. The kind he had always wanted for her. She could have the family she always desired, both of her parents alive and together. She could even settle down with a house and a family of her own. He winced at that thought, especially after remembering that Mickey had also been in that vision. Would she rekindle her relationship with him? Get married, have kids? The mere idea of her being with Mickey; or any other guy for that matter, made him feel like lashing out. Someone else being able to hold her hand, see her smile, hear her laugh, make love to her…. He swallowed roughly as he felt that sharp pain in his chest again. They had never crossed the boundaries of friendship, so it was selfish he knew; being jealous when he himself had laid out the rules that kept them apart.
The truth he didn't want to face was that he was scared. After all the excuses, all the lies he told himself for why they couldn't be together until he began to believe them, he was honestly terrified. He was afraid to let himself love her, properly love her, knowing he would have to go on without her one day. Reuniting with Sarah Jane had been a thrilling and yet eye opening experience. While he was elated to see his dear friend, her perception of the way they had parted was sobering to say the least. He had not only left her in the wrong place when he dropped her off, but even though she managed to live a productive life, she had never really gotten over him. Listening to her words about what happens to those left behind only served to strengthen his resolve on why he has a policy of never going back, never allowing himself to get too close. Yes he cared for all his companions but in the end he would inevitably lose them to either death or pursuit of their own happiness. It was better to cut his losses and leave them behind rather than to deal with messy goodbyes.
But then he met Rose and everything he ever knew or believed in was tossed out the proverbial window. The moment he took her hand he had fallen hard and while he was busy showing Rose her true potential, she was busy helping to heal him from the pain brought on by the Time War. That sweet innocent little shop girl had managed to work her way past his defenses and make him feel things he hadn't in a very, very long time. They had already grown so dangerously close that he knew if he let it go any further he would never recover when he lost her. Human lives were so fleeting and the quick jaunt through Reinette's timeline today just reiterated that point. He thought by bringing Mickey onboard he might act as a buffer, but when that didn't work he immediately jumped at the chance to chase after Reinette. With her there would be no complications, no expectations, no real feelings involved and he could create the distance he needed between him and Rose. Only now he was being presented with just how much damage his actions had caused. He had screwed up royally, and in an attempt to get some distance had hurt her deeply. Maybe the universe was right to take her away. He didn't deserve her. He was selfish in trying to keep her for himself, only to keep her at an arm's length. Coward every time.
"Maybe it's better this way." his voice was so quiet, she almost didn't hear him.
"That's it? That's your response?" The girl replied, incredulously. "After everything I showed you you're not gonna even try? You're just going to let it happen?"
He kept his back to the girl speaking softly but resolutely. "She was safe and she had her family. Her mother and father were together and she had Mickey. Maybe that's how it should be. With me she's always in danger. This way she's protected and can finally have a real life. The one adventure I could never have, but she can."
The redhead felt her control slipping. He was supposed to be fighting to keep Rose with him, not trying to convince himself it would be better for her to go.
"Doctor, this isn't like you just dropping her back home and coming back to check in on her every so often. You would never see her again."
"You think I don't know that!" he yelled, spinning back to face her. "You think I want her go? You think I don't want to defy the laws of time to keep her with me forever? If I wasn't so selfish, I would have taken her back to her mother and away from this mess I call a life a long time ago! But I can't because I need her!"
"Of course you need her!" she shot back. "Just like she needs you, because the two of you are stronger together. Yet here you are, talking about giving her up!"
"I can't give her the life she wants!" he roared; fists clenched and teeth bared. "The domesticity, settling down and doing normal human things like buying a house and getting a mortgage and having a family, I can't give her any of that. You said you know me in your future. Then you know I don't die. I regenerate and then a new man with a new face walks away. But she's human. She can be with me for as long as she lives her fragile human existence but then I have to go on. Alone. There is no happily ever after for me!"
"Oh, here we go." She threw her hands up in frustration. "Have you ever thought for just a moment that maybe she doesn't want all that normal 'human stuff' as you put it? I mean have you even ever actually talked to her about any of this?" She was shouting now as well. "No, because you have to be Mr. Thickity, Thick face from Thicktown, all moody and brooding because 'You're cursed. The last of the Time Lords, doomed to spend his life alone'." she mocked with finger quotes. "Same song, different verse Doctor." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Look, I get it. Your run-in with Sarah Jane scared you because it made you have to face things you never want to be reminded of."
His eyes widened at the mention of his former companion and friend, a look of disbelief and inquiry regarding her knowledge of Sarah Jane passing over his features, but the girl disregarded his expression and continued on.
"You've built up this whole thing in your mind where you like to imagine everyone who's come and gone as living in some sort of ageless plastic bubble where their lives are perfect and seeing her again shattered that illusion. It reminded you of just how fleeting a human life can be. That's why you're always running away, Doctor. Because you don't want to see the outcome of what's left behind, because you hate endings, because that way in your mind they can then live forever. So you've been pushing Rose away because you think she'd be happier without you. That way maybe she would decide to leave on her own and you can go on pretending like you always do, that everyone leaves you in the end because of your 'curse'. That maybe it would spare you the pain of losing her later on if you're able to imagine her as this untouchable immortal being. But she's not immortal Doctor and neither are you. Look at how reckless you were before the two of you met, treating your regenerations as though they're a damn 'get out of jail free card'. You're a little over what, about 900 at this point in time and already on your tenth body? Do the math Doctor. As of this moment now, she could very well outlive you based on how quickly you've gone through your last three regenerations. Maybe instead of constantly worrying about the future, you try living in the present."
His eyes were dark and his jaw clenched. "You think you've got it all figured out then do you? All cut and dried, nice and tidy with a ribbon on top. You don't know anything." He growled as he turned away, running his hands through his hair.
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know everything, but I do know that not twenty-four hours ago you made it quite clear to Rose that you can't have relationships because of your lifespan and promised that you would never leave her and then you go and almost strand yourself by swanning off to play house with Reinette."
He turned back, giving her an icy glare. "That is not what I was doing."
"No? Because that's exactly what it looked like to Rose. "You tell her you don't do that sort of thing and then some rich, intelligent, high-class, historical woman comes along and you're suddenly ready to settle down on the slow path because she's what, better? Is the Uncrowned Queen of France more suited for The Almighty Doctor when compared to a simple little shop girl from London?"
"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" he yelled, eyes flashing. "Rose is everything to me!"
"Well you have a funny way of showing it. I mean, how the hell was she supposed to take it when you and Reinette practically threw it in her face? Not to mention that every time she's tried to to talk to you about your past, you close yourself off but then you turn around and open up your mind and let Reinette waltz right in. Why?"
"It wasn't like that." He growled in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. "I was only looking through her memories to figure out what the droids wanted and she somehow managed to slip into my mind when I let my guard down. When I found out what she had done I immediately broke the connection. I certainly didn't invite her to take a walk through my memories. It pissed me off actually, but I let it go because…I needed to maintain the distraction. She saw maybe a few random glimpses of my childhood that's all." He gave a self-deprecating laugh. "If she had really seen any significant portion of my past, she would have realized I was the real monster and ran screaming in terror." He ran his hands over his face and sighed. "My past is not something I would ever want to burden Rose with. The things I've done, the man I really am, she would hate me."
"It's just one excuse right after another with you. You are completely daft, you know that?" she said and he looked up at her, brows furrowed in confusion. "Rose looked into the time vortex, dumbo. She saw it all. Everything that has ever been and she could have run from it, run from you Doctor. But she didn't did she? Instead she came back to save you and laid the Dalek fleet to waste."
His eyes were lost in remembrance for a moment and he swallowed roughly as Rose's words replayed in his head. 'I want you safe, My Doctor'.
"If that doesn't convince you of her unconditional love and capacity for forgiveness, I don't know what can." She sighed and shook her head. "You have to let go Doctor, you have to stop being so damn afraid of what you could lose and embrace what you have right now. You can't honestly tell me after seeing those images that it will hurt any less whether you lost her tomorrow or in a hundred years. Sometimes it's better to live on with the pain when you can look back on the memories of all the joy and happiness of the life you were able to share; no matter how fleeting, than to live on chasing the ghosts of regret."
The Doctor looked defeated, hundreds of years of pain visibly etched across his face. She wanted so badly to reveal herself, to hug him, to give him some sort of peace of mind that everything could work out better than he could ever hope for as he stood there looking so broken. Ultimately she couldn't make him change this, no matter what it meant for her future. It had to be his decision. But that didn't mean she couldn't help influence him just a little. He always said words have power, something he had once reiterated to Shakespeare. Not just any words though. No, these words were specific. Their true meaning only to be known to a select few which meant he would know exactly who they came from. Maybe that would give him that slight spark of reassurance he needed for what it could mean for his future. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to stand in front of the Time Lord and took his hand in her own.
The Doctor looked down at their entwined fingers; amazed by the tingling sensation of familiarity he felt and looked up into the girl's warm hazel eyes.
"I'm sorry that i can't tell you what you want to know." She sighed and gave him a rueful smile. "I wish I could tell you everything so that I could make you understand but we both know I can't. This isn't one of those times where you can just go in and erase the memory. You have to make a choice, but before you do…" she broke off and leaned up to whisper two words in the Time Lord's ear that made his jaw go slack and the color drain from his face. She could sense that he had tensed up so she pulled back to look at him and squeezed his hand gently.
His eyes were wide and he swallowed thickly."How do you know that phrase?"
"It's not a warning this time Doctor, it's a message." She smiled softly, tears prickling her eyes. "She said it would lead you home."
He stared down at her in disbelief, searching her eyes for the answers to the questions he was too afraid to ask until he finally found his voice again. "Who are you?"
She shook her head and smiled. "Spoilers."
They stood staring at one another for a few more moments until Rose's timid voice broke the silence.
"Doctor?"
The Time Lord and the redhead both turned towards her, their glistening eyes mirroring her own and the Doctor looking somewhat shaken. Rose began to shift uncomfortably under their gaze and the girl seeing her obvious unease, smiled up at The Doctor; giving his hand one last squeeze before dropping it and making her way over to Rose. Stopping right in front of her, she reached out and took her hands.
"You are an amazing woman Rose Tyler; absolutely brilliant. Don't ever let anyone make you think differently." she said choking back a sob before wrapping her arms around Rose's neck and hugging her tight. The girl hadn't meant to let her emotions overtake her so completely, but seeing the two of them and knowing that there was a possibility it could be for the last time, was just too much for her to handle.
Rose tensed up slightly as the girl embraced her and began to sob silently against her shoulder but then that intense protective instinct washed over her once more giving her the sudden to comfort the girl, so she began stroking the redhead's back and murmuring soothing words.
The girl allowed herself a few more moments of Rose's comforting embrace until her tears finally began to taper off. "You can't give up okay?" she murmured against her shoulder. "I know he screwed up but please don't give up. You have to keep trying, even if he continues to push you away because the two of you are meant to be. Your love is written in the stars across time and space. And I know he's stubborn, but so are you. You're his strength Rose. You're the wolf who heralds the storm." She whispered the last sentence and felt Rose's body stiffen. Pulling back, she met her eyes.
"Why did you say that? Why those words?" Rose asked in a low voice, chancing a glance at the Doctor who was still standing on the opposite side of the room, watching them carefully. "Who are you?"
The girl smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind the blonde's ear. "You once saw all that is, all that was and all that ever could be. I think maybe deep down you already know the answer to that question."
Rose's breath caught as the sensation of familiarity she had been having since meeting this mysterious girl washed over her once more and suddenly the connection was made. She didn't know how she knew, she just did and the smile that now lit up the girl's face only served to confirm her conclusion. She reached a shaky hand up and cupped the redhead's cheek, her hazel eyes glistening. "Oh my god." she said softly, a single tear slipping free.
The girl nodded, placing her own hand over Rose's. "Like I said, absolutely brilliant." She gave her a watery smile as she pulled away.
The Doctor, finally having managed to get his legs to work, had moved across the room to stand next to Rose. Their hands found one another of their own accord and as their fingers laced together, they looked up into each other's eyes.
"I've gotta go." the ginger said softly, wishing she hadn't interrupted the moment. The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand and shook her head. "Just think about what I said okay? Really Think." Her eyes flicked between the pair somewhat in awe and she couldn't help but smile. "The Doctor and Rose Tyler. The stuff of legend."
At her words, the pair refocused their attention on one another and shared a smile, allowing her to take a few steps back and activate the com link in her ear. Turning her head away slightly, she whispered. "Jack? Jack, are you there? Jack, come in." She was met with only static and when she looked down at her hand, it was once again transitioning between solid and see through. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she began to fiddle with the device on her wrist. The future, her future was in their hands now. Hell, she could easily blink out of existence before she made it back to the hub if the Doctor didn't pull his head out of his arse and just admit his feelings. 'Oi! That was a bit rude.' she thought to herself, albeit true.
"Wait," Rose called out when she noticed her moving away, breaking her train of thought. "What's your name? Can you at least tell us that?"
The ginger looked up and smiled softly shaking her head. "I can't, but I'm hoping that I'll see the two of you again very soon." She could sense further questions coming from both of them and put her hand up once more. "It will all make sense when it's time. I promise." Her gaze drifted to Rose, whose eyes and smile radiated love and warmth, giving her a glimmer of hope.
"Anyway," she cleared her throat. "I've gotta go." She took a moment to look at them one last time and then with a wink to The Doctor, she shouted "Allons-y!" as she activated the vortex manipulator on her wrist and vanished in a flash of blue light.
The pair stood staring at the empty space in which she had been for several long moments before The Doctor finally broke the silence.
"She knew about us and our future. Things she shouldn't have known." He turned to look at her. "What did she say to you?"
"Aren't you the one always tellin' me we're not supposed to know too much about our own future?" Rose asked, giving him one of her signature tongue in tooth smiles.
As he took in her beautiful hazel eyes and brilliant grin, his questions regarding the mystery woman were immediately pushed aside. The thought that his actions had almost caused him to be without that smile for hundreds of years made his hearts ache and his grip immediately tightened on her hand as he pulled her closer.
"I'm sorry Rose, I'm so sorry." He said quietly.
Rose's smile faltered as she looked up into his soulful brown eyes and she took a deep breath. "I know you are, and I get why you had to do it. They were going to kill her, and she needed your help. It jus'...it hurt. Because you left and you didn't even say goodbye and i thought…" She dropped her head, unable to finish the sentence.
"Rose," He said gently, placing two fingers beneath her chin and tilting her head up to look at him. When her eyes met his, they were already shining with tears and it sent a surge of pain through his hearts as he realized she truly believed he had left her for Reinette. "I never meant to leave you." He swore, needing to make her understand. "I was just so caught up in the moment and I had to save her. I couldn't just let those things change history when they were never meant to be here in the first place." He brushed away the tears now running down her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs as he looked into her eyes. "But I also didn't take time to weigh all the possible outcomes for my actions. I was stupid and arrogant and reckless and it wasn't until I looked up at those broken shards of glass hanging from the wall that I realized what I had done."
"S' okay Doctor. I understand." Rose sniffed softly. "We all do crazy things when we're in love."
After all she had ripped open the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the entire Time Vortex in order to try to save him from the Dalek fleet on Satellite 5; not caring if it killed her in the process, and she knew she would do it again in a heartbeat. That's how much she loved him, which was why it hurt all the more that he could fall for someone he had just met so quickly. When she thought about it, she had to admit to herself that she shouldn't be surprised that The Doctor would be besotted with Reinette. After all, she was beautiful, refined and intelligent. How could he not fall for her? Judging by how captivated and taken he was with the courtesan and her with him, she figured it must have been love at first sight. Something she knew about all too well, because that's what it was for her the moment The Doctor grabbed her hand in the basement of Henrik's and told her to run.
Now as she stood before him with her heart breaking, she had to remind herself that he was never really hers and she had no actual claim to him. Mostly because he emphasized that he didn't do that sort of thing. Of course they flirted and held hands. There were lingering hugs and stolen glances, an occasional statement with a deeper meaning that would be quickly glossed over and never spoken of again and then there were times when they would look at one another as though they could see into the other's soul and she would think maybe…but she was content to take what he would give as long as it meant being with him. After his regeneration his affection had increased tenfold, even showing slightly more domestic tendencies including Christmas dinner with her mom and Mickey. He had even begun to spend nights with her in her room. Mainly talking or reading or just cuddling into one another's embrace after a particularly harrowing adventure. There were never any lines crossed or hints of intimacy, although a few times she swore she caught a glimpse of something akin to longing in his eyes when he looked at her, but then as soon as it appeared it was quickly locked away again. Over the last couple of weeks however, it seemed as though they might be reaching a turning point.
After the events with good Queen Vickie they had been lounging on the couch in the library in front of the fireplace, talking and laughing and as the conversation drifted off, their eyes met in the firelight. A surge of energy filled the air, breaths were held as their lips drew nearer and then her cell phone rang and the moment was gone. Mickey called them home, The Doctor was reunited with Sarah Jane and from there it all came crumbling down. The barriers were firmly back in place, Mickey joined them in their travels and then they ended up here, where The Doctor proved that he did in fact "do that sort of thing". Just not with her. She had lost him to the slow path with someone better. Someone she could never be, and while the revelation of the mystery girl's true identity had given her a sliver of hope for the future, she could also still hear that familiar Northern voice in the back of her head warning her that time could be changed in an instant. What it came down to was did she love him enough to let him go and be happy with the woman he truly loved and wanted to be with or be selfish and try to push for a future that his recent actions had proved they couldn't possibly have and would she really want it if he didn't feel the same for her. Standing here and looking at him now, she knew there was nothing she wouldn't do for him no matter what pain it brought her and she had her answer.
"I know how much you love her so if you want to go back and be with her, me and Mickey can always go home for a bit." she murmured.
He could hear the heartbreak in her tone even as she tried to hide it and he hated himself for his own cowardice. Everything that girl had told him was true. Rose believed he had chosen Reinette over her and now here she was, always so selfless his Rose, putting his happiness above her own even as it broke her. He didn't deserve her.
"I don't want you to go." He said quietly.
She looked up at him then, confusion written all over her face. "But you love her. I thought you would want to…"
"Rose," He cut her off, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek as he looked into her eyes. "I'm not in love with Reinette."
"But," She shook her head in disbelief. "You kissed her and she saw into your mind. She saw parts of you no one ever has. Not even me."
"First off, she kissed me and she saw a tiny glimpse into my childhood that's all. That's not enough information to really know someone. You know more about me than she ever will." Rose opened her mouth to argue but he shook his head. "It's true Rose. After the war I was lost, but when I met you…you saved me Rose. Over and over again you've saved me, standing by my side, being my hand to hold. You've seen my darkness and you never flinched. Not once. Sometimes you even know me better than I know myself. I need you Rose." He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair as he readied himself to make his confession. "Rose, what happened between Reinette and I… I'll admit that I was a bit infatuated and intrigued by her position in human history, but I'm not in love with her. How could I be when I…" he paused, swallowing roughly. 'Stop being a coward,' he heard the redhead say in his head and he took another deep breath. "Remember what I told you outside of the chip shop? I said that you could spend the rest of your life with me but I couldn't spend the rest of mine with you and while technically that still holds true..."
"S' okay Doctor." she interjected. "I get it. I really do. You made yourself clear that night. M' not goin' anywhere though. I made my choice a long time ago and M' never gonna leave you. So even though you don't want…" she took a deep breath and shook her head. "We'll always be best mates, yeah? S' enough for me."
As he listened to her he internally berated himself for how much he had hurt her. Would it really be so hard for him to admit to Rose how he felt? If there was one thing he had learned over his 900 plus years it was that he didn't want to have any more regrets; especially not ones where she was concerned. Even if he had a hundred years with her or two days he didn't want to be haunted by 'what if's' after she was gone. He wanted to make the most of the time he had with her now. It was time for the Time Lord to stop running.
"What if I want more?" he asked gently.
Rose looked taken aback, opening and closing her mouth several times but unable to form a response as she searched his eyes.
"Rassilon help me, I'm rubbish at this." he said rubbing his neck. He looked down and took both of her hands in his own. "The truth is I'm tired Rose," he said sincerely. "Tired of running from what I really want. Tired of running from my feelings…for you." His eyes flicked up to meet hers and her jaw dropped. Swallowing roughly he pushed through his nerves and continued. "I keep putting barriers between us; hurting you in the process because I thought it would make it easier to cope with the pain when I inevitably lose you. And I'm ashamed, because I used both Reinette's and Mickey's affections as distractions to keep us apart because I was scared. But I was wrong Rose, and I can't do it anymore. I don't want to. I'm already too forgone in what I feel for you and no matter how much time we have I want to make the most of it. Together." He emphasized the word, his eyebrows rising slightly as he gauged her reaction.
After a few seconds a smile began to spread across Rose's face, igniting his own and crinkling the corners of his eyes. He looked down at their hands and ran circles over the tops of hers with his thumbs. He swallowed again, steeling himself to tell her what he had wanted to for so long and looked up and into her eyes.
"Rose…" he paused, taking a deep breath.
Her lips twitched at the corners and she shook her head. "S' ok, you don't have to…"
"I know I don't." he interjected as he wrapped his arms around her waist; drawing her closer. "And I know you already know, but I need you to hear it." He looked deeply into her eyes. "Rose Tyler, I am completely, unabashedly, and irrevocably in love with you."
The smile that lit up her face at that moment took his breath away and his hearts began to leap in his chest as she placed a hand over each one.
"I love you too, my Doctor." She said, her eyes glistening with tears of joy. "So very much."
The air sizzled around them and at that moment all those excuses he made, all those barriers that had been put in place for so long keeping them apart shattered. He knew now that however much time they had together would never be enough but he was no longer going to run away from what he wanted. If he had to suffer through the pain of living on one day without her, then at least having the memories they would make together would dull that pain enough for him to go on. He loved this woman with his entire being, the pink and yellow human who had saved him in his darkest hour and he would deny them this no longer.
He leaned down until their lips were centimeters apart, their breath mingling as he lightly nuzzled her nose with his own and then he closed the remaining distance between them pressing his lips to hers ever so softly. Pulling back a fraction his eyes met hers; a silent question asked and permission granted, before descending on her mouth once more. His tongue swept lightly at the seam and she immediately parted her lips in response, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Her hands fisted in the material of his suit jacket as their tongues began dueling a gentle rhythm before moving upwards to run her fingers through his thick chocolate locks while he moved one of his hands up to cup the back of her head, keeping the other pressed against the small of her back to pull her closer.
After a few minutes and a need for air on Rose's part, they pulled back and rested their foreheads together. She smiled, taking several deep breaths. "Well, that was…"
"Yeah." He chuckled, smiling just as brightly. "I've been such a fool Rose. To think I wasted all that time. Time we could have spent..."
"Shh," she cut him off by placing a finger over his lips. "Let's jus' leave the past in the past. Unless of course we're actually visitin' the past." she added with a smirk.
He smiled back, pressing a kiss to her finger before brushing it aside to press his lips to hers once more as he wrapped his arms around her. "Rose Tyler." He drew out her name as he nuzzled her nose with his again. "How long you gonna stay with me?"
Rose lifted a hand up to his cheek, lovingly stroking his sideburn with her thumb as she looked into his eyes and smiled. "Forever."
His own hand reached up to cover hers, entwining their fingers and he pulled her in for one more lingering kiss. "Let's go home."
She nodded and hand in hand they slowly walked back to the TARDIS as the fireplace flickered and then extinguished itself behind them.
A/N: One more note, the last chapter is set in the future so this chapter actually goes straight into the sequel story. So if any of you are new to my writing and want to start reading that before I post the last chapter on this one, it won't affect anything.