I have to say already in advance, how truly sorry I am. Please don't hate me.
It took WAY too long to put this chapter out here, because I really didn't know if this was the right direction to go in ... Because I'm afraid that this will lead us to even darker places ...

CHAPTER 9

I had already started testing my theory the week after.

On monday, I started out small. I just kept on thinking about ice cream. I kept thinking that I wanted it so badly, and that I was so frustrated and sad that I was stuck inside the apartment, not being able to go get the ice cream for myself.

Of course, I never said any of this. I just kept thinking it over and over, all day long. Eren had come home to me after school, but he had just stayed on the sofa, doing homework.

In the end, there was no catch. Either he hadn't heard me, or I was just being way too paranoid.

On tuesday, it was confirmed. Eren came to the apartment to make dinner, and afterwards he 'surprised' me with the ice cream.

I had to force myself to smile and to think positive, naïve thoughts, when all I could feel was my heart sinking deeper into my stomach.

I was right, he somehow knew what was going on in my head.

Or maybe he was just really good at reading body language.

On wednesday he had fallen sick, so he had to stay home, but that just left me with time to figure out my next move. The final move, you'd might say.

I didn't want to mess around anymore, so I decided that the truth had to come out, and it had to be him revealing it. I needed him to be able to tell me the truth, or else I wouldn't be able to trust him ever again.

Well, at least that was what I had decided.

He finally came again that friday, where I greeted him in the doorway.

"Hey," He said, sending me a bright smile that I did not return.

"Hey,"

He bent down to kiss me, but I turned away at the last minute to close the door.

"Is something wrong?"

Everything is wrong, I thought, and I was surprisingly agreeing with that statement, even if it was something that I was just making up as a part of my plan.

"No," I shook my head slowly, leaning the crutches against the wall. I was hoping that he would notice how reluctant I was trying to seem. I wasn't particularly a good actor, since I had never really acted before, but I didn't consider myself bad either.

"Hmm … " Eren looked at me for a few seconds longer, before placing the school bag on the sofa. "Alright then,"

He sat down on the sofa, seemingly unaware, so I kept standing at the same spot as before, just between the kitchen and the living room. I put my hands into my pockets, and kept looking at him.

I don't want to do this anymore, I thought, but he didn't seem to react.

I tried again.

I don't like you anymore.

No reaction what so ever.

Getting a bit annoyed, I let out a sigh. That made him finally look up, and I could see how his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Why are you just standing there?" He asked before sending me a calming smile. He was probably trying to ease me, remove whatever tension I seemed to have.

I took a deep breath to open my mouth, but no words came out.

I want to break up.

Just thinking those words made my stomach turn into a crazy mess, and I felt like being punched a thousand times.

That was nothing compared to how I felt, when I saw Erens face.

The nice smile on his face was starting to fade away and his eyes got larger. It was so clear now – He had heard me, loud and clear, and now he was probably feeling as horrible as I was.

Why was I doing this again?

Oh yeah.

I needed the truth, no matter how painful it had to be.

I don't love you. I don't even like you, I kept on going.

This was almost too painful.

But it was even more painful to watch Eren, who was probably trying to figure out what to do.

"H-Hey … Is everything okay? You d-don't seem – " His voice faded out, as he had no idea how to continue his sentence. I realised how terrible it must be, knowing exactly what I wanted, yet he had to pretend that he didn't understand.

Then I realised that I was in the same damn position as he was, resulting in me losing a bit of my sympathy for the boy.

"I'm fine, Eren," I said in the most cold tone I could muster. I watched as Eren stood up again, wrapping his arms around himself. All I wanted to do was to go over there and hold him, tell him that everything was okay, he just had to confess and tell me the truth.

But I couldn't do that.

It was so important for me that he had to do this on his own. I refused to let him know that I already knew what he could do. He had to do this on his own. Even if we had to do this the hard way.

And oh, was this truly was the hard way.

Look at him, so pathetic. He's such a child.

I cleared my throat, before grapping the crutches and moving towards the sofa.

"Why are you looking like that?" I asked annoyed, before throwing myself on the sofa in the other end, as far away from him as possible.

"Eh … " Eren sat down again, though he kept his gaze on me, with a questioning look in his eyes. I avoided it by looking out of the window.

The silence between us got very uncomfortable, and the next time that I looked back at him, he was in the process of taking on his shoes again.

"What do you think you are doing?" I asked in a stern voice, looking angrily at him.

"Um … H-Home," He finally said, and I could hear how muddy and messed up his voice had become.

"Why? I thought we had made plans that you would sleep here tonight?"

He looked up at me with a confused look, and I could see all the sorrow in his face.

"You want me to stay? … Why?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Because that was the deal that we made?"

I tried making it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Maybe I won't break up with him tonight any way. It would be a good thing to have him around here, taking care of me. I need the help, clearly … And when my foot has healed, I can dispose of him.

Eren, who had opened his mouth to say something, suddenly became silent as he just looked at me in plain horror.

"L-Levi … " He mumbled at last, as he didn't now what else to say.

"I'm sorry, what? Did you want to say something?" I asked. I could almost feel how close I was to the truth. I just needed to push a little more …

"D-Do you?" He said under his breath, his whole face expression being so horribly sad to look at. He looked like a lost puppy, and the trembling bottom lip didn't really help.

"Me?" I tried to sound a little surprised. "Oh! Yeah, actually now that you mention it … "

I took a deep breath. Ready for the final stab in the gut.

"I had to find a new assistant after I found out how helpful it was to have you in the office … So I interviewed a few people, and I finally hired someone,"

This was so off-topic, that he looked very dumbfounded for a moment.

"Um … Okay?" He said hesistantly, not understand where I was going with this.

"Actually while you were sick the other day, he came over to give me a stack of papers. We had a really long talk, and I really think that he'll become a good assistant. Just what I needed,"

And good in bed too, I thought. I finally found someone who are actually up to my standards … And he is so much older and sexier than Eren. I can't believe what I ever saw in that brat -

BAM!
I fell down on the floor, landing flat on my stomach. Turning around to look at him, he was now standing above me with clenched fists and a flustered face.

"What the hell, Eren?" I yelled, raising a hand up to my cheek where he had hit me. "What was that for?!"

He didn't answer me, he just kept staring at me angrily.

He had every right to be mad, since I clearly stepped over the line with this. I hadn't planned on hurting him so bad, but then again I hadn't known that it would take so much to get him to confess.

And I had every reason to be mad as well.

"Why did you hit me?" I tried again, as I got up in a sitting position. "What could I possibly have done to deserve that?!"

"Shut up!" Eren suddenly yelled, giving me quite the shock. He then proceeded to fall to his knees and hide his face in his hands.

"Hey!" I said, grabbing his wrists to pull them away from his face. "Why. Did. You. Hit. Me?"

"Because y-you … How could you … I-I don't … " His sentences became a mess, not making any sense in the end.

"You don't what?"

"... Understand … Why would you do that to me?" He finally looked up at me, and I could see how red his eyes were.

This was not supposed to happen like this. He wasn't supposed to cry. He was supposed to get mad and reveal his secret. And then I would tell him that none of it was true, and then … I actually hadn't thought of that yet. I didn't know what would have happened then.

Would I even forgive him? Leave it at that, and live our lives as before again?

There was really no point in thinking about that anymore, as clearly none was going as according to that plan. It had failed the minute the first tear had left his eyes.

But there was really no turning back after that. I had to see the end to this.

"Eren, do what?" Apparently I had to fish for the right answers.

"C-Cheat on me … "

Finally.

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him lightly.
"Who said that I was cheating on you?"

He looked up at me, and I could see the fire come back into his eyes.

Anger.

"Who said that?" I kept asking, while still shaking him. "Who? Who said that? Who? WHO?!"

"YOU!" He finally screamed, pushing me away from him. "How could you?! If you want to break up with me then do it, don't go around cheating on me first! If you really don't love me, then … Then … " His voice died out again, as more tears rolled over his cheeks and he started sobbing silently.

This was heartbreaking.

"How could you know all that?" I finally answered, my voice low and filled with anger. "How could you possible have known all that, when I haven't said a word about it to anyone?"

"Because … " Eren looked down at his hands that were trembling. He then looked up at me, clenching his fists. "Because that was what you were thinking! I heard it! I heard it all"

Silence came after that, as I just kept staring into his eyes that were filled with so much fire. I could guess that mine was as well.

Finally.

I had finally gotten what I wanted … So why didn't I feel satisfied at all?

This was too hard to write! (I want to lay down and cry my heart out ... Just like Eren right now)
As I said above, I really didn't know if this was the right way to go. But I always just go where my writing takes me, and this was where I ended up - and it broke my heart! Ugh. I understand if some of you might be mad at the way Levi handled things, but please! No worries, everything will work out!

... (I hope)