DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I want it, I do not own Naruto. I am still only borrowing the characters and promise to return them in good condition – well, maybe slightly battered...

Chapter Eleven:
Look at Me

We'll walk in the shadows
By day we'll live in a dream
(Walk with me)
We'll walk in the shadows
~Queensryche~

Meow….. Meow ….. Meow

Sakura tried to open her eyes enough to locate her cat and throw a pillow at him. Had he always been that loud and obnoxious? When she finally got one eye opened, she did a quick scan of the room.

She was definitely in her bed. Wearing yesterday's clothes and feeling like she had been the victim of a mob beating. The question was how she had gotten here? The last thing she remembered was walking away from the Tipsy Kunoichi bar around the corner from her old house.

As Sakura slowly made her way to a seated position and propped herself up against her headboard, the memories from last night came flooding back.

The disastrous date with Naruto, drinking what was probably two whole bottles of sake at the Kunoichi, falling on the floor in her doorway, Naruto nearly naked, Naruto holding her, her feeling up Naruto and confessing her desire to touch him, Naruto taking care of her and being the gentleman he always was with her.

God I'm pathetic. Even drunk I can't interest a man.

Hachiko jumped up beside her and purred while she scratched his chin.

"And this is why you don't drink Sakura. The very small filter you normally have is virtually nonexistent when you add alcohol," she mentally scolded herself while trying to remember every detail of what she said and did last night. "How did I let this happen? Naruto probably thinks I'm crazy, psychotic, or both. He should have just left me on the floor of the walkway and hoped someone came along and kidnapped me."

The room was dark, but Sakura could just make out the faintest hint of pre-dawn light peeking over the horizon. "Death is coming to take me away." Sakura murmured as she watched the day approach.

Her cat may have stopped his loud meows, only to be replaced by the pounding in her head. Set to crawl her way to the bathroom for some much needed medicine, Sakura paused when she spotted the glass of water and pills sitting on her night stand. Naruto! Of course he thought of everything. He wouldn't want her to die without the chance to torture her endlessly about what a fool she had made of herself last night.

She picked up the aspirin and gulped down half the glass of water. Her mouth felt like the Suna Desert. As she started to get out of bed, she heard her front door open. A few minutes passed and she could hear the tell-tale signs of coffee being made and pots and pans clanging and banging around.

She quietly walked down the hall and found that Ino returned home and was making breakfast. She had just added a few stripes of bacon to a pan when she turned around and saw Sakura standing there.

Ino blinked in surprise when she saw Sakura. Her eyes were so bloodshot it hurt to look at them and her complexion was a very interesting shade of green. "Good morning Forehead!" she shouted and then banged the pan on the stove a little harder than necessary. She snickered when Sakura's hands flew up to cover her ears. "You don't look so good. How do you feel?"

Confused, humiliated, embarrassed, and mortified. Sakura could think of a million things she was feeling but the most elegant thing she could come up with was "Like crap." And with that she moved the last few feet into the kitchen and sat down on a stool.

"Coffee just got done. Would you like some, or do you want tea?" Ino was talking and acting like nothing was wrong which was surprising considering she expected the blonde to immediately begin grilling her.

"Coffee would be great, thanks." Ino smiled at her as she set the steaming cup of happy in front of her. She gave her roommate what she hoped was a smile and took one giant gulp of the coffee in front of her.

"Damn! That's hot!" Sakura was not only a stupid drunk; she was an even bigger moron sober. Why me? It was the same question that had been going through her mind since the kiss last night at Ichiraku. What had she done in a previous life to deserve this hell?

"Soooo - discuss or mind my own?"

Sakura didn't even pause to consider the request. She immediately replied, "Discuss. He kissed me last night."

Ino dryly replied, "I'm shocked and amazed."

"Then I slapped him."

"Deserved or undeserved?"

"A little of both I think," she said before launching into a full explanation of the previous night's events ending with, "So what do you think?"

"Deserved. But I wouldn't make him suffer too long. It's obvious that he's got it bad for you." At Sakura's frown, Ino commented, "Come on, you know him. Do you honestly believe that he purposely meant to disrespect you?"

"No… I guess not. I'm just so confused by it all," she admitted grudgingly. "Look at what happened to me the first time I thought I was in love."

"It's simple. What did you feel when he kissed you?"

"It was just so intense and a little frightening at the same time."

"Frightening?"

The image burned in her mind. The way his hands grasped her arms, his fingers digging into her flesh, though not painfully. The way he lowered his head and kissed her… slowly at first, and with building intensity, his lips moving evocatively over hers, his tongue tasting her, branding her, until the rest of the world fell away and there was only his mouth on hers, his hand on her back, drawing her body up against the hard length of his. Everything that was the female within her responded to his kiss, to his caress. He was a man and she was a woman and they were meant to be together.

"Oh Ino, it was amazing. It was unlike anything I've ever felt before."

"Wow," sighed Ino. "How romantic."

~o~O~o~

After several large cups of coffee and a very long discussion with Ino, Sakura found herself at Naruto's door. With her fist raised to knock, it unexpectedly opened by Sai. He lifted an eyebrow at her and then shared a glance with Sasuke that made her seriously consider doing all womankind a favor and ridding the world of males. Wisely, he stepped back and waved her in.

"Easy there, killer," said Sasuke with a smirk. "I have a lot to do today without having little birdies circling my head."

"Very funny. Is Naruto still here?"

He gave a quick nod and wave towards the bedrooms as he and Sai left for the day. Sakura rolled her eyes and then scanned the apartment. She heard the sound of running water coming from down the hall and made her way in that direction.

She walked through his bedroom and stopped in front of the bathroom door. "Naruto? Can you hear me? Look, I'm really sorry for last night. You were only trying to help and I shouldn't have... well, you know. Will you please forgive me? Naruto?"

Sakura tried again, but there was still no answer. She turned the door knob on the bathroom door so she could stick her head in just enough for him to hear her. As she pushed the door open the water turned off. And before she knew it, she was face to face with the most beautiful naked man she had ever laid eyes on.

"Holy crap Sakura! What are you doing, trying to give me a heart attack? Why are you in my apartment, let alone my bathroom?" Naruto was so caught up in yelling at her that he must have forgotten he was naked because he made no move to cover himself.

"I..I..I wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier, but you couldn't hear me through the door, and I didn't want to leave for work with you being mad at me." Sakura gave herself a mental pat for getting it all out without looking down. But now that she was no longer explaining herself, she couldn't stop her greedy eyes from wandering down Naruto's body.

Oh why did she always seem to catch him when he wasn't dressed? The man was built like a God. Broad shoulders gave way to defined muscular arms that were made for keeping a woman safe and secure, hugged close to his chest. A chest Sakura was admiring with pure female appreciation that continued down to a set of abs that at this very moment she would like to run her fingers over, one bump at a time. Finally coming to rest at the large shaft currently sticking straight out towards her. Beckoning her like a moth to a flame.

As Sakura openly gawked at Naruto's impressive member, it grew even larger. She was about to take a step forward when whatever daze Naruto had been in for the last few moments finally snapped. He lunged for a towel and secured it around his waist.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have barged in like this. I'll talk to you later." Before he could respond, she high-tailed it out of his bedroom and out of the apartment.

Well… that went well.

~o~O~o~

Again she forgot how fast he could be when his door slammed open and he pulled her back into his apartment.

"So you want to tell me why you went out and got hammered instead of coming to my place and talking to me?" Naruto yelled. "I know I screwed up Sakura, but that's no excuse." He leaned back against the wall, a muscle flexing in his jaw.

Sakura stared at him wide eyed for a second. This was a side of Naruto she had never seen before. She was suddenly unsure of what to say so she went for distraction. "Why are you running so late? Shouldn't you be in the Hokage tower working with Lady Tsunade?"

"Yes I should. But you see I have this neighbor. She's a pain in the ass and last night she came home so drunk I had to pick her up off the floor in her doorway and carry her to bed so the rest of the building wouldn't see her like that come morning." He held her in place with a hard stare.

Sakura had never heard Naruto like this before. He was pissed mixed with another emotion she couldn't quite place. Knowing she was treading into uncharted waters, she began slowly. "I went to the Tipsy Kunoichi last night after I left Ichiraku. I walked home from there. I'm sorry if I worried you. I just needed a little time to myself to figure a few things out."

Naruto let out a sigh and Sakura saw some of the tension leave his body. "You scared the shit out of me. I know I made you mad, but you could have talked to me. I am a pretty good listener most of the time."

"I wasn't ready to talk to you."

"I would have tried to understand. You wouldn't have been in a bar, surrounded by people that could have done God only knows what to you. I'm surprised you were able to get home safely in the shape you were in last night. What were you thinking?"

Sakura had had enough. She was no longer a twelve year old genin, she was an adult. Naruto was her friend. Not her dad, not her boyfriend, her friend and she'd be damned if she was going to sit here and listen to one more minute of this lecture.

"You know what Naruto, I'm a big girl. I've done just fine taking care of myself for the last few years and I don't need you coming and giving me a lecture about one night of stupidity." All the shouting wasn't helping her headache, but she went on.

"And you know what, I wasn't thinking. I wanted to forget everything for just a little while. So I got drunk. I'm grateful for your help last night, but that doesn't give you the right to pass judgment on me for my choices. They were mine, not yours, and I am paying the price today. Now if you are finished, I'd like to get ready for work." Sakura turned around. A sudden pang of guilt hit her. She was pretty mean and vicious to him. He was only trying to help and after what she put him through last night, he didn't deserve her attitude. He deserved a reward for not giving in to the pathetic attempts of a drunk to seduce him.

She stopped and whispered, "I'm sorry, I can't seem to say what I really want to say. I'm sorry about what happened in my apartment."

"I was sort of hoping you wouldn't remember that."

He was hoping I didn't remember? She smacked both hands over her face and groaned. "Why? Was it that bad?"

"Hey." His voice had softened and his fingers wrapped around Sakura's wrists, gently pulling her hands away. "It's okay, Sakura-chan. I just didn't want you to be embarrassed."

"No it's not," she moaned, ducking her chin. "I molested you."

Naruto laughed. "You didn't molest me. Okay, maybe just a little, but you wouldn't be the first girl to get all…"

"It's not funny!" she cried.

Two fingers landed under her chin and he tipped her head up. "It's no big deal, Sakura. People do a lot of things they normally wouldn't when they are sober, and you were really drunk."

The problem was that she had wanted to do that while she was sober and apparently it was just a big joke to him. Sakura cast her eyes downward. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. It's not like it was a horrific experience," he added dryly.

"It wasn't?"

His lips quirked in that adorable way of his. "I'm never going to complain about a girl putting her hands all over me. Especially since it was you."

"Then why…then why did you stop me?"

He blinked once and then twice, as if he couldn't believe she was asking the question.

"You were drunk last night, Sakura. I would never take advantage of you."

Sakura swallowed, but the lump rising in her throat got stuck. In all the years she'd known Naruto and he'd been sexually active, she'd seen him take girls home who were sober, tipsy, drunk-off-her-ass, and everything in-between. He was equal opportunity when it came to having sex. Short. Tall. Skinny. Round. White. Black. Tan. Pale.

She couldn't stop the words from coming out, "That hasn't stopped you before."

Naruto thrust his fingers through his hair, and then clasped the back of his neck. The shorter strands flopped back onto his forehead. He didn't answer at first and the longer the silence dragged out the more she wished she'd kept her mouth shut. "You're different, Sakura."

"Um…" Sakura had started to say something, but Naruto gently placed his hand over her mouth to stop the ramblings that would probably come out. Sakura had a terrible habit of saying anything and everything when she was nervous.

Removing his hand from her oh so soft lips, Naruto continued. "Please let me get this out before I lose my nerve. I love you, Sakura! And it's not in an 'I love you as a friend way' either. I have thought of little else but you for most of my life. I have tried my hardest to lock down my feelings and desires for you out of respect for our friendship, but yesterday I realized I don't want to anymore."

"But I'm not…" Again Sakura tried to interrupt and he stopped her with a kiss this time.

"You're not what, Sakura? Beautiful, sexy, irresistible, strong, smart, kind, because if you were going to say you weren't any of those things, you would be a liar. And you're one of the most honest people I know." Naruto held Sakura loosely around the waist now as he finished.

Sakura began to sway and Naruto had to tighten his hold on her. "Can we sit down? I need to sit down." Naruto walked her over to the couch and let go of her long enough to take his seat right next to her. Then without thinking twice, he picked up her hand and intertwined their fingers.

"Is that better? Do you want me to get you glass of water?" Sakura shook her head, but still hadn't said anything about all he had told her. After what felt like hours, he couldn't take the silence anymore. "Sakura, I've kind of poured my heart out here. And the most you've given me is that you want to sit down. Have I completely freaked you out?"

Sakura stared at him for a few more minutes. She opened and closed her mouth several times as if to say something, but no words came out. Finally, she blurted out, "I like you Naruto." Okay, not exactly an 'I love you', but it was a start. "Sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant to say was I really like you. I've been thinking about you, too, and I haven't wanted to say anything that could ruin our friendship." Sakura was worrying her bottom lip, while she looked anywhere but at him. "And then last night you asked me to sleep with you as if I was one of your…"

"NO! You're not that. Sakura, your friendship is very important to me." Naruto was rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, trying to calm the nerves he could still see in her eyes. "I don't know what will happen with us," he said softly. "I can't predict the future. If things don't work out between us, yeah, there's a chance you'll hate my guts. To me, losing you as a friend is a pretty big risk. Do you think I'd take that big a risk for a few nights of sex?" He shook his head. "I've been having freakin' nightmares about you with other guys. What you might be doing." He buried his face in her hair. "Sakura, I don't want you to see other guys. Just me. I don't want to be with anyone else."

"I'm nothing like the girls you're normally with, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"There was a reason why you're nothing like them, Sakura-chan. I could never be with a girl who worked as a medic because all I would see is you in a lab coat and wearing your hair up the way you do when you're working. I could never be with one who had the same eyes without seeing your beautiful green ones. And if I ever saw another with your hair, I could never be with her either without picturing you. You're nothing like any of the girls I've ever been with for a reason."

"Sure," he continued, "those other girls were fun to hang out with a few times, but they always left me with an empty feeling. I want someone who challenges me, makes me laugh, and sees me for more than the future Hokage. I want you, Sakura-chan." Holding Sakura's hand was no longer enough. He let go and pulled her into his side. She came willingly.

"I'm more than a challenge, Naruto. I can be the most stubborn, pain in the ass around, and you know this." Naruto could feel the stress begin to take over Sakura's body, and he had to laugh.

"Sakura, you are stubborn, and you are a pain in the ass most of the time," at her hurt expression he quickly went on, "but those are two things I love the most about you. You will tell me like it is, and not let me get away with stupid shit. You will call me out on my mistakes and I will do the same to you. It's going to be hard at times, but I will never intentionally hurt you. However, I am a guy and we have been known to act without thinking. And if that happens, you have my full permission to kick my ass and knock some sense into me."

Sakura sat there absorbing everything he had just laid on her. Then with a wicked grin she said, "I don't make mistakes."

"Ha Ha, smartass. Look at me Sakura." Suddenly very serious, his voice was mesmerizing, his breath caressing her lips. "We're not strangers. You know me better than anyone. Say you will be with me, and I would treat you like you deserve. Look at me."

She closed her eyes tight. His passion was devastating and she couldn't think.

"Will you at least answer me? Let me be your love, Sakura-chan."

AN:

Thanks to everyone that followed/favorited/commented on the last chapter!

Yeah, so Sakura obviously has issues. Check out One Big Uzumaki Family by John Smith. He has the exact same theory on her that I do concerning her feelings of inadequacy due to her misplaced affection for Sasuke and the way he completely crushed her. The AN in chapter 5 describes why she is the way she is way better than I could.

Here is a story recommendation from Logan Locke: Naruto: The Difference A Kiss Can Make, by Scribe Of The Apocalypse. A alternate take on one of the series most notable moments that shows a (realistic) change for Naruto and Sakura, along with how it affects Konoha. It's not complete, but it truly is one of the very best NaruSaku stories EVER! I have to say - I agree with him. It is really great.

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST