Chapter 9: Lisa

I opened my eyes and gasped for air. Electrocution…interesting. I hadn't dabbled with that in a long while.

However I had to face something worse than being electrocuted by Ianto's cyberwoman girlfriend. Ianto Jones had died, drowned right in front of my eyes. Now I was dead and would be too late, for sure.

More concerning was my actual rage at Ianto. Rage that he could ever hide something like that from me. I wasn't sure if I was more upset about the fact that Lisa was a cyberperson, or the fact that she was his girlfriend. I've made him jealous over the years but this was the first time I had to come to terms with the idea that he had loved someone else. This Ianto that I was with in the real world didn't love me, not yet. But now that he was dead, would he ever be the Ianto that I had grown to love over so many years? Would this whole life we have had in my death be erased?

I searched for him briefly and felt relief to see him sitting and smiling just as he always did when our eyes met. Maybe he wasn't really dead, he couldn't be. Ripped from me before our love could even become real? He was my Ianto, the place to lay my head when I died, the beautifully dashing coffee boy…but did I know him really? I tried not to let my fear and anger come through but he knew what time it was.

"My Ianto." I kissed his forehead and sat beside him. He looked braced for a fight.

"Sir." Ianto smiled, waiting to see what I would say, I'm sure.

"A lot has happened since I last saw you."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Is this the last time I will see you Ianto?" I asked.

"Of course not!" Ianto seemed shocked, "I promised you I would always be here waiting for you Jack."

"I just….you died Ianto. You are dead right now, beside me on the floor of the hub. I'm so sorry but we were never in love…you loved someone else."

Ianto held his head in shame.

"I feel guilty every single day for what I put you through. You tried to kill me that day, do you remember? Of course you do, it's just now happened to you. I loved Lisa. So much."

I felt the jealousy rise inside me. It was all tied up with conflicting emotions that wanted me to be angry with Ianto, and punish him for endangering my team, who were still in danger at this moment while I lay dead beside my would-be lover.

"What did you see when you left me, Ianto?"

"Sir?"

"You are drowning, and I can't save you. Right now, and that's real. Real for me and real for you, in my real life, when I am awake. What did you see? How do you live to become the man I know you are?"

"That's completely up to you, sir. You save me then, just as you always have."

I thought this was just absurd because Ianto was always the one saving me, but clearly this was important for him to say.

"I won't remember this Ianto. This is just my mind playing tricks like always… You know I have my doubts about how real this place is…this could be my last time to see you, to kiss you, to hear your voice. I am so scared that the man I am, when I wake up, won't miss you and love you the way I will. Why couldn't we have that?"

"We will have that Jack, I promise you with everything I am, with every cup of coffee I have ever made, I promise that I live and breathe every moment for you and when you wake up, and your heart will know that you can save me. Only you."

"What did you see when you were drowning, Ianto."

He hesitated for a moment and finally, eyes closed admitted the dark truth.

"Nothing. Nothing at all, darkness." He shuddered.

"I wish that I could be for you, the way you are for me." I replied sadly.

"The man who is drowning doesn't know what you mean to him…to me. There was no reason for my mind to seek you out in the darkness."

"I may not have loved you yet…but somehow I will love you always throughout time. Our time together will come, sir. I promise."

"I will wait for you, Ianto, because you are worth waiting for." I whispered, overwhelmed by the wall of emotions I did not know what to do with. This Ianto did not deserve my wrath and yet I was sure If I saw him again when I awoke, I will tear him apart for endangering my team. I was an asshole and somehow he loved me anyways.

"And Lisa?" Ianto asked.

"Lisa is a part of your life, just like Angelo was a part of mine. I'm absolutely furious but, I know what you did was out of love. Just, a woman, Ianto? Surely you must have known things always go sour with women…" I chucked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Of course. How could I have been so foolish?" Ianto cracked a small smile. "I did love her, very much. She was my first, Jack. But you, are my always."

"Do you promise me that I will see you again living and breathing Ianto Jones? Because I don't think I could breathe anymore if I couldn't see you every day."

Ianto's voice caught in his throat. "I'll be here waiting for you sir, no matter what. Save me sir, like I know you can. See me again."

I woke up on the floor of the hub, sprawled out in a highly unnatural way, my arm outstretched into a puddle of water. Of…WATER-IANTO! My fingers were almost touching his, and I felt drawn to him, I needed to get him out of that water IMMEDIATELY. I needed to save this boy, this man. He couldn't die, not like this! How could he die knowing that someone he loved so much could destroy his life? He needed to come back and it needed to happen right NOW.

I was over taken with urgency as I flipped him over and found his mouth. I tried to do CPR, to the best of my ability but it just wasn't working! I needed to get out of here quickly, time was running out, and maybe Ianto's time already had!

I was overwhelmed with a urge I never had before an as I felt the last of his life slipping away from me, I started to kiss him.

Suddenly, he started to breathe! It was a miracle! Could that have been me? Did I bring Ianto Jones back to life? He had been dead, of this I was sure. Now he was breathing and blinking and moving and I had never felt so happy before.

I jumped up and pulled him along, remembering the situation. I was very cross with him and we needed to get away from here-FAST!