Should have done the disclaimer a while back, but like I said-wasn't truly awake. DX I was rereading some of the chapters and freaked out 'cause I thought my writing skills were degrading before increasing. I feel better after rewriting this chapter though. Phew...I am never waking up early again...except for school.

I don't know Joker/Clover/Heart no kuni no Alice (Obviously) or any other references. Everyone belongs to their respective owner.

Also, fun fact about Alexis: She's generally forgetful. That's why she forgot that Nightmare could float and freaked out when she saw him hanging from the chandelier. It's also why she keeps forgetting to vist Vivaldi. XD She can also memorize faces, but is terrible with names.

My mother. My mother was a nice, kind, and beautiful woman. I believed Nightmare. He knew her. She fell in love but left Wonderland despite her feelings, all for the fact that her parents needed her.

But her parents were dead. Nightmare had rid her of those painful memories in an attempt to give her a chance at happiness. He regretted that action. He told me that he knew from the start that I was related to her, and that that was partially the reason why he had Peter bring me here to Wonderland. He said he erased Alice's memories of her sister's death from her mind to give her a chance, but said the only reason why he let me keep my painful memories is because he didn't want me to make the same choice as my mother.

I thanked him. I didn't want to forget Sarah or Jack. I didn't want to forget Erin or Conner, or Derek and my father... I didn't want to forget any of them. He let me keep those memories because they not only were a major part of my life, but because he didn't want me making a mistake, to choose a "bad end".

I was annoyed as all hell, though. Me keeping my memories just made it that much harder to make a choice-to make the choice when my vial got filled.

And right now, in my room, I was scowling unhappily as I stared at my more-than-half-empty vial. It wasn't even a quarter filled! It was starting to piss me off. I've been here-what? A month? I've stopped counting. It also didn't help that my phone liked to randomly die and recharge itself. It seemed to only work during the evenings. It died at night time and glitched during the mornings, so I wasn't able to text anyone, and only worked completely during the evenings. I then remembered as I stared at the vial that I needed to take my medicine.

I scrunched my nose up and reached my hand out to the desk beside me, placing my vial down and grabbing my small medicine bottle. I quickly uncapped the lid and poured the liquid into it, trying to scowl as I reluctantly drank the nasty thing. It tasted horrible! Almost as bad as the gross cherry cough syrup. I hated that stuff. The only reason I was drinking it was because my wound was almost completely healed, and would be within a few more time periods as long as I kept taking my medicine like I was supposed to. Apparently since the medicine was made for "Wonderlanders" as I so kindly dub them, it made my wounds heal much faster than usual and took away almost all pain. Bullet wounds usually take months, but it's only been a month and it's practically healed.

"Blegh." I made a face and scowled, putting the cap back on the bottle. Disgusting. "Nasty." It was understandable why Nightmare never wanted to drink his medicine, but to refuse to go to the hospital...? Gray kept trying to convince me to mix his medicine in with his food, but it would just taste horrible if I did so.

I put the bottle back down on the dresser and shoved my potion vial back into my jacket pocket. Surprisingly I haven't lost it yet. I'm generally bad at keeping things. I go to hide something and I completely forget where I even put it in the first place! I yawned loudly and stretched, careful not to kick or touch any of my drawings with my feet, and sneezed. Freaking allergies, man... I'm so glad Wonderland doesn't have Winter. It would suck then. For some reason, I always got sick during winter. Even worse than usual.

And these stupid allergies-! "Achoo!" Where were they even coming from?

...Wait a minute... Was Amber...? I took notice of all the cat fur on my bed and scowled. I loved cats...but I was allergic to them. No one wonder I kept sneezing so much nowadays; I kept forgetting about my allergy medicine. Oddly, I wasn't allergic to Boris. Ironic in a way, I think. "Didn't I run out?" Damn it. That wasn't good. The Tower was filled with nothing but cats because of Gray's kindness. Nightmare didn't complain-he loved animals and they cuddled with and kept him warm. I loved animals, too...

But damn it, it's like being lactose intolerant but loving ice cream. Poor Frank. The only lactose intolerant demi-god, too. "Where did I put it?" I crawled off of my bed, careful not to hit any of my papers, and started rushing about the room and opening and closing drawers, trying to find the medicine bottle. I seriously couldn't remember if Gray went and got me more allergy medicine or not. My sneezing was starting to give me a headache, and if that got any worse, than I would need medicine for that.

Finally finding the bottle, I practically ripped the lid off and dumped the inside onto the flat of my palm.

...God freaking damn it! I curse, but refuse to drop the bomb. Now I'm gonna have to mooch off of Nightmare again and buy it myself! Damn it... Wait, is that Doctor guy still scared of me? It was a completely random though, but I wondered how the guy who fixed my wound was doing. Well, I do know that he was the Doctor Gray kept getting all the medicine from, but...I don't know. Eh. He was a small town pharmacist, that was I all I really knew.

...

Yes! I didn't get lost! I cheered to myself a little before sneezing, as my clothes were covered in nothing but cat fur. If Pierce sees me, he'll probably scream in terror and run...

For some reason, that thought made my chest hurt a little. "Achoo!" Urk. Annoying. Painful. I don't like it. Damn. I entered the clinic and looked around for the Doctor, before shaking my head and just going up the aisles in the pharmacy store. Grabbing what I needed, ibuprofen and allergy medicine, and I went up to the counter and waited for the cashier to pop up. It took a bit, but the same Faceless who saved me from before appeared and stood at the counter, looking at me in surprise.

...I think. His eyebrows raised and his mouth opened slightly, but without eyes it was actually rather difficult to tell. "You are...Wh-What does Lord Nightmare want?"

"Uh...nothing, really. I just came to buy some medicine and stuff 'cause I ran out of allergy pills and I-I got a headache from all my sneezing..." He looked alarmed for a moment before relaxing, staring at me incredulously.

"Is that all? You're not going to have him give me dream horrors?" Some people in Wonderland talked strange, but I got used to it.

"Um...no. Uh, here-here's the money." I handed him the cash, which was the equivalent of five dollars in the U.S, and got at least three dollars back. Medicine didn't really cost that much here. It was surprising.

"So...You are the one that Mr. Ringmarc buys the allergy medicine for?" I looked up at the man and blinked.

"Yeah. Nightmare's-Nightmare's sickly, but he's not allergic to any of the animals. Gray keeps finding them. It's really weird." It was weird, but really really funny. One time he brought back flying squirrels and Nightmare woke up with one spread across on his face. It was hilarious. For being one of those guys with an extremely deep voice, he sounded almost exactly like a girl when he screamed. He fell out of his chair. I laughed. Then he complained. It was beautiful. "So, uh...how's things going?"

Translation: I want to thank you for saving my life since I never got to because you were scared of me and I have no idea how to start a conversation. Hi?

"...Good. Business is well. How about you, miss?"

"Uh, well... Good, I think. Found out my best friend is a member of the Mafia. Can't really imagine him killing anyone though." I placed a finger to my chin as I thought, not noticing the man stiffen. "He's adorable, though. Um... found out Nightmare knew my mother, ended up trying Gray's cooking and nearly died from food poisoning," He really, REALLY can't cook. Ugh...my stomach's churning just at the thought of the horrible food. The man cracked a smile at that. "And...I still need to visit Vivaldi! Oh my god...She's gonna kill me!" I only visited her, like, once, and that when I went to ask Peter a question. The only other times we talked were in the Assemblies and quite frankly, I had to keep coming with excuses to prevent her from chopping my head when she demanded why I haven't visited her yet.

Excuse 1) Babysitting Nightmare and making sure he did his work

Excuse 2) Sick and unable to move

Excuse 3) Kept getting lost

I mainly used excuses one and three. Mainly because they were true. I wasn't as bad as Ace, but I was still pretty bad when it came to getting where I needed. Stress lines ran down my face as the image of my head in a guillotine, a sharp blade glinting before sliding down and slicing through my neck like pudding. My head rolling across the ground as the last images I'd see where of people in a crowd spinning...before slowly gliding to a stop...

Damn. I'm twisted. Where's a wall? I need to bang my head against something.

"I don't want my head cut off~!" I whined, lifting my head up towards the ceiling.

"Then I suggest you visit her, miss." The man suggested, causing me to hang my head and sigh in defeat.

"Yeah, true...I'm gonna go now..." I grudgingly walked out of the store, scowling and pouting and throwing a fit in my head. I didn't like how I constantly had to visit people to avoid death. Elliot seemed intent on becoming my friend and often invited me out to eat at that cake place, as I was still a bit scared of him, and Dee and Dum kept trying to figure out new and more creative ways to scare the ever living crap out of me. Blood could care less, though I think he found me amusing, and Peter kept popping up randomly and hugging me, before trying to shoot some random person.

Those poor people...

I think Boris and Pierce were my best friends here, though. Nightmare and Gray were my adult friends...I think Nightmare was more like-

I stopped walking, frozen.

Nightmare was like a brother.

"-find someone and make him your brother-" Damn it, Derek... Why do you want me to stay so badly? Why do you want me to get more attached?

My breath hitched in my throat when I realized what the game was all about. In order to fill the vial, I had to interact with people...and interacting with people will cause you to become attached to the inhabitants of this world, and therefore making the choice to go home tougher on you because you will have people you care about here and there. This game was one big trap... It was a mind game. One that pulls on your heartstrings. It was sick. And worst of all...

...the people here only fell for you because of the potion. Which means that Pierce and Boris and Nightmare and Gray all weren't...even Elliot...

...they weren't really my friends. They only liked me because of that stupid potion. So, if I never drank it...would they even care?

"Open me, Alexis~!"

"OPEN!"

I could hear the whales crying as they swam through the forest. My chest hurt. No one here was really...my friend?

"OPEN ME!"

Why should I continue to bother staying here...? They only liked me because of the potion. If I never drank then...

"OPEN ME!"

I felt my hand reaching towards the handle on one of the doors, but before I could twist it and open the door, and voice asked darkly,

"Are you lost?" I almost didn't hear Ace. Turning my head, I blinked and stared at the red knight confused. The whales crying echoed in my ears. "Do you want to go home?"

I was completely silent. My face was blank and my bangs hung in my eyes. I felt like I was going to cry. "Why shouldn't I?" My voice was soft and quiet. It didn't sound like me at all. "No one here really cares...It's only because of the potion I drank that anyone bothered to pay any notice. No one's really my friend."

"In that case, if I kill you, no one will care if you die?" I lifted my head to look up at Ace in confusion, but ended up letting out a short scream when he lunged and slammed me against a tree, his hands wrapped tightly around my throat. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes were dark and menacing. I was frozen with fear. "I told you before that I always wanted to know what a dying heartbeat sounds like...how many people will react if I kill off the newest foreigner? Will it be like you said? Will no one care at all?"

"G-Get off of me!" I screamed, putting my hands on his chest and trying to push him off. Ace was much much stronger than me. Everyone here appeared to be stronger than me. Pressure was suddenly put painfully on my throat and I gasp, clawing frantically at the hands around my throat. "G-Get-Get off!"

"I thought you were going to fight back, Alexis? I thought you said you were going to kick me. Hahaha! You're so weak!"

"Sh-Shut up!" Tears were welling up in my eyes from the pain and horror. He was going to kill me. Ace was going to kill me. His huge hands were crushing my small neck. "S-Stop it!"

"You foreigners are so fragile!" Ace chuckled, "You're close to that rat, aren't you? How will he feel if you die?"

"Wh-What does-What does P-Pierce have to do with anything!?" His face flashed through my mind for a split second.

He didn't really care. The potion was just making him think he did.

"You really don't know anything, do you?" His grip tightened and I gasped, trying frantically to escape his hold and get air into my lungs. It was hard to breathe. I felt like my windpipe was going to break. My head hurt from lack of oxygen. "Hahaha!" Suddenly he released his grip and I was sent sliding onto the ground, crawling and gasping frantically into a ball as I wrapped my hands around my throat, trying to get as much oxygen into my lungs as I could. "The potion has nothing to do with that!" He laughed loudly at me, "You're so silly, Alexis! People in Wonderland just loves foreigners!"

I stared up at him like he was a psychopath-which, for all I knew, he was. My eyes were still stinging painfully and my throat was probably going to have quite a few bruises. I still have the bruise on my neck from when Pierce bit me the other day.

"I would kill you, but Alice would be sad, and I'd have no one to go camping with! Hahaha! You're so small and defenseless~! You really are a little kid, huh?"

"I-I'm fifteen!" I choked out. I can't believe I was going to apologize to this jerk... I pushed myself up onto my feet, stumbling before leaning against a tree for a moment, growling with a teary-eyed glare, "I can't believe I was going to apologize to you! You-You're such a jerk!" It hurt to talk and my voice was a little raspy.

"Hm?" He looked down at me curiously with a smile. "Apologize? For what?"

"For yelling at you the other day! S-Screw you, I'm-I'm done!" I'm not going anywhere near the Heart Castle like this. Peter'll end up killing more people in anger if he sees my bruises. I sniffled and scowled, turning around and storming away from Ace, ignoring his confused calls.

Grumbling to myself I scowled. I wasn't sure how far away I had gotten from Ace, but I do know I was in the middle of the forest when I stopped walking, remembering what he said. So...I heard Nightmare wrong? I misunderstood him? People in Wonderland didn't fall in love with you because of the potion...? They just liked outsiders for some reason? So...their feelings are genuine? They're not fraud?

Damn it all, this is just making me more confused. Jerks.

I tugged my jacket closer to me and zipped it up, frowning as I held back tears. Why were people so crazy? I sighed and decided to visit the next town near the Hatter's, figuring I could stop at a bookstore for a bit and read. Maybe they had a library? I looked up and scowled, seeing that it was bright and early morning.

I don't like mornings. I preferred evening and night time. Well, at least it gave me more time to stay up.