A/N: As usual this is unbetaed so all mistakes are my own. Thought you guys might like glimpse into Shaw's mind to see just what was running through her head when she attacked Root. Special thanks goes to Dondi for their message last chapter. Thanks again for it. So without further ado I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
Archival File: 3 Weeks Ago
Shaw cursed the fact that she only had limited access to the network. The people who worked for Samaritan were reluctant to trust her despite David's arguments. It had taken a lot of persuading on his part, but eventually they had agreed with him that Shaw was their best option for tracking down her former comrades. Her mind went back to that moment as she walked through the streets heading for the bar that she had seen a woman matching Root's description wander into.
"Are you out of your mind?!" Martine slammed a fist down onto the desk sending a Styrofoam cup of coffee tumbling over onto its side. The hot liquid spread across the table in an unchecked flood before turning into a sparse waterfall as it tumbled over the table edge. "How in the Hell did you even convince Greer to give her access!? She is loyal to the enemy, not to us. All she is going to do is go back to them and turn over every last secret she has learned these past months and then come back and kill us!" Martine shot a heated look at Shaw.
Shaw held Martine's gaze for several long moments till the other woman looked away. Mentally she smiled at the white knuckled grip the other woman had on the handle of her gun. 'Your hand is practically trembling Martine. For good reason to. You know that I'm going to replace you soon, and when I do Samaritan will have no more use for you. Maybe He'll let me pay you back for those couple weeks when you convinced Greer that it would be a good idea to physically torture me.'
"I don't owe them any loyalty." Shaw said flippantly. "They treated me like a friend knowing all along that I was a pawn to be sacrificed at the first opportunity. They knew I was alive and yet decided not to try and rescue me. They have all moved on and replaced me, so this just gives me a chance to return the favor."
Martine cut her eyes back to David and gave him an unreadable look. Shaw got the nagging feeling that Martine knew something but refused to say it aloud. Shaw didn't care what it was though, the woman knew only about combat and all of that came from her connection to Samaritan.
David gave Martine a smug smile and raised his hands palm upwards. "What can I say that hasn't been already? Sameen knows who they are, what they look like, and she wants to be the one who delivers the coup de grace to them. I simply pointed out the logic to Greer. He ran it by Samaritan and even He agreed that it makes sense. Plus any doubts you may have about her loyalty will certainly be settled afterwards."
Martine had stormed out shortly afterwards but only after giving Shaw one last scathing remark. Shaw had shrugged it off and had been readying to leave to look over camera footage for any sign of Root, the woman would be the hardest to track down and thus it was imperative she be taken out first.
David had stopped her before she left and had handed her a slip of paper. On it had been neatly typed instructions.
Complete the mission at all costs. Try to keep civilian casualties at a minimum or at least discrete. If Ms. Martine attempts to interfere then do not hesitate to execute her.
Shaw had smiled, folded the message neatly, and shoved it into pocket. Inwardly she hoped that Martine gave her the excuse because she'd relish the opportunity to put an end to that miserable woman's life.
Once Root had been located Shaw had made her way to the bar. The only delays being self-created as she took a convoluted route that double backed on itself innumerable times and was specifically design to lose any idiots Martine had sent to keep tabs on her. Once Shaw was satisfied that she had lost any potential tails she had gone straight for the bar.
The whole way there her mind had continued to go back over the time she had spent with all of them. Reese the man who had been like a brother to her. Seemingly watching over her and keeping her safe while also driving her up the wall at almost every opportunity. Finch the father figure whose accolades and gratitude for the completion of a successful mission had meant so much to her at one time. Root her lover once upon a time. For months she had done her best to ignore the woman's flirtations, innuendos and double entradas before finally going to bed with her in a moment of passion.
She had opened her heart to the woman and fallen hard for the mousy haired hacker. It was a relationship built on the foundations of scarred childhoods and not feeling like there was anyone else in the world who truly understood them.
When David pointed out how Root had used her the entire time and had truly felt nothing for her Shaw had denied it vehemently. But as the evidence mounted she began looking back through her memories and reluctantly began to question the woman's feelings for her.
"Oh please you honestly think she cared about you? You yourself said she sees the big picture. You were recruited solely to be a sacrificial pawn whenever it was needed. If not for the pointless fight against Samaritan then probably to make sure one of them or the people you try and protect survived. Her relationship with you was made solely to ensure that when the time came you were the one who would make the decision to give your life for the cause, not them. That way their conscious would be clear and they wouldn't be forced to waste valuable time convincing/forcing you to do it."
"That is not true! They are my family. They saved my life!" Shaw's eyes burned with unshed tears that threatened to pour out. She needed to remain strong and not let this person think he was getting to her.
"They saved your life because you were an expendable asset. One that no one else would miss if you died and that had no other purpose. If they were actually trying to help you, then why didn't they make it so that you could have continued to have a normal life? Instead they let events play out so that you had to turn to them for something to do. You certainly couldn't have gone crawling back to the government, and considering you were 'deceased' you wouldn't be able to make an honest living."
Sameen rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes. Idly noting that it came back wet. It had taken her weeks to reluctantly accept that David's argument was likely valid. After all Samaritan had done nothing to fake her death, so it had been Root's own decision to not try and find her.
Shaw thought she had finally found someone who would finally accept her for the person she was emotionally damaged and all. Instead she had simply found the one person skilled enough to worm her way through Shaw's defenses. Clenching her jaw Shaw picked up the pace now that she was only a few blocks from the bar.
'I was a fool to ever trust Root or any of them. It all makes perfect sense now. Reese couldn't be sacrificed because he was the one hand picked by Finch, not me, so he's the more valuable fighter and infiltrator to protect numbers. Finch is boss and since the Machine sends him the numbers and cares about him most of all there was no way he would give his life. Root.' A snort of disgust left Shaw as a foul battery acid taste filled her mouth. 'Root is the interface to the machine. So of course she's far too important to waste.'
The bar was in sight now, but Sameen stopped. At the moment she was an emotional wreck. This past month she had tried to shut off or at least stem her flow of emotions. It was a difficult and arduous task though. The block she had placed so many years ago when she was a child had been destroyed by her own hand and she could no longer remember how she had created it in the first place. If she was to exact revenge on Root for using her then she needed to return back to the emotionless killer she had been when working as an assassin for Northern Lights.
Leaning against a brick wall Shaw allowed herself to cry. The tears came easily as did the sobs that left her wheezing and gasping for air. Her legs gave out and she fell to the pavement and continued to wail. "Why Root? Couldn't you have found some other mouse to play with before killing? Couldn't you at least have had the decency to tell me that I meant nothing to you emotionally? I…I have feelings…I have rights….as a person. How….how could….I have been….so blind to the….the monster that you are?"
Sameen cried for several more minutes letting the emotions flow through her unimpeded before finally stopping them cold. She had learned that if she allowed them unfettered access at times that she had an easier time shutting all of them off. The only emotion she couldn't truly turn off yet being anger. So she tightly restrained it and locked her other emotions and feelings inside a steel safe. This she bound in chains before loading inside a larger safe that she wheeled behind a steel bank vault door. The vault door shut and locked with a deep reverberating Boom before its handle and hinges were wrapped tightly in iron chains designed to prevent it from being pried open or it opening even a fraction of an inch. All this she then took and hurtled deep into her mind far from the light and deep into her unconsciousness where it could not be reached.
Shaw slowly got to her feet. She felt nothing as she looked down at the scraps on her hands from the asphalt. Wiping her eyes on the back of her hand she looked at the tears that glimmered faintly in the pale yellow light of the streetlamp and felt nothing. She straightened her clothes and looked back at the bar where her target remained blissfully unaware.
Before proceeding forward Shaw took her gun from its holster and checked the magazine. Only one bullet was in it. Without pause her hand swung upwards and fired it at the security camera that was directly above her. The bullet connected and rendered Samaritan totally blind for this five block stretch of neighborhood.
'I'm doing this on my own terms. If I fail then I'll find her again myself without Samaritan's help. Even if I have to go through all the others first.' She then tossed her weapon into the dumpster took a deep breath and proceeded forward.
Inside the bar was empty except for the bartender and a single female customer sitting at the bar.
Root looked like a broken woman. Her body posture spoke volumes to Shaw. Root was a woman close to being crushed by the weight of the world. Her hair hung limp and lifeless down her shoulders and was missing the usual clean sheen to it from the care Root took with it. She was hunched over and appeared to be so lost in her own troubles that her awareness of her surroundings would have gotten her killed had she been anywhere else. From the bar's mirror Shaw could see the dark circles under Root's eyes and a reddish tint to them as she picked her drink up and drank most of it down.
Shaw made her way to the bar at an easy pace. Instinct telling her to approach with caution even if Root's actions and body language spoke of a woman unaware of her presence.
She had not expect to see Root like this. Back before she had been captured by Samaritan Root had always been the strongest member of the group. Even when things were at their bleakest she had held onto hope and remained strong in her conviction that they would defeat Samaritan and send it back to the lowest level of Hell that it has spawned from.
Now it looked like Root was finally accepting the fact that hope and optimism counted for little and that the fight might never be won. For a brief moment Shaw's heart ached for the woman before it was squashed. 'Remember she's the one who used you and played with your feelings like a child would a toy. She cares nothing about you and never did. She is incapable of emotionally connection with anyone.' Mentally prepped Shaw took a seat at the bar next to Root and waited in silence as the woman ordered a new vodka tonic.
The bartender headed into the back to retrieve more supplies as Root idly swirled her glass. The ice chinked against the glass in a random melody that almost sounded like a tearful melody before the woman drained the drink dry.
Shaw could see that Root was inebriated and well on her way to full on intoxication from the strong smell of alcohol coming from her drinks. From her best estimates Shaw figured they were heavy on the alcohol and light on the tonic.
Sameen continued to sit silently waiting for Root to acknowledge her presence. The longer the silence between them stretched on the more she wanted to lash out in anger. 'She had to know I'm here. Even in this state she has to be aware of her surroundings. Is she hoping that if she keeps silent that I'll just disappear?' Shaw cleared her throat and tapped a finger against the top of the bar to try and get some reaction out of the woman.
"You want to order something?" The bartender asked? Coming over thinking that the tapping had been an attempt to get his attention.
"Give me whatever you have on tap." She replied gruffly. There was more bit to her voice than she intended which caused the bartender to pale in worry. Yet still Root sat there mesmerized by her drink and lost to the world.
"I can't serve you without an ID." He said nervously.
"Then just leave me in peace and come back when you're called." Shaw replied in a growl that made the man retreat to the back.
Root was halfway through her drink when Sameen had enough. As Root tilted her head back to take another drink Shaw gave her a hard shove. The taller woman started to fall over and just managed to catch herself. The same could not be said of her glass which hit the floor and shattered into pieces.
"Wha…" Root began to say with a slur.
"I went to a lot of trouble to find you, especially after so long. Are you really going to sit there and ignore me all night?" Shaw's voice was tight and her throat was scratchy from lack of water.
Root noticeably stiffened. She wetted her lips with her tongue a couple of times before turning to look at Shaw. Earlier her expression had been melancholic and devoid of hope. Yet now as she looked at Sameen there was a glimmer of light and hope in them. In that moment it seemed like all her earlier weariness was thrown off like an old coat and the old Root that Shaw remembered came out.
Oh she knew that look so well. It had been the driving force that had kept her going for so long while held captive by Decima. The look of hope and love in eyes that drew her in without thought and gave her glimpses of the woman's soul. Sameen had seen them in all sorts of light. The way they sparkled with mischief as she flirted with Shaw in an effort to tempt the woman into bed. How they would burn with love even while half closed when Shaw was busily lapping away between the woman's legs. Sameen had even seen them dancing with joy as she watched Sam squirm around her fingers even as she lapped at the woman's clit and brought her to the height of orgasm again and again without fail.
In the past the emotion and feeling behind those eyes had made Shaw's heart soar and her loins burn with passion. Now…she felt nothing, possibly disgust at what the woman had done to her, but nothing else.
"Sam." Root said shakily as she stretched a hand out towards the shorter woman as if she thought she was imagining the woman sitting there right next to her.
"It took me awhile to escape from Decima. I've been hiding from them for the last week and a half. During which I've been trying to track you down so that you knew I was alive and well." Sameen lied through her teeth while trying to sound as love-struck by the woman as she had been before.
In an instant Root's arms were wrapped around Shaw and her head was buried in the former assassin's shoulder. Her shoulder shook as her knuckles turned white from her tight grip on Sam's shoulders. Shaw could not tell what Root was saying she figured it was some line about missing her and thinking she was dead. A line rehearsed in the unlikely event that Shaw ever returned alive.
"I'm here now." She said and gently rubbed Root's back. This seemed to help the other woman as her tears ended. Putting a hand beneath Root's chin Shaw tilted the woman's head up so she could see her face. Then bending her head down Shaw gave her a light kiss.
'I'm doing this to lure her in.' Sameen told herself even as her emotions struggled to break free of their confines. 'I need to get her outside where it will be easier to deal with her. Just remember that she is faking all of these emotions. She only pretended to like me in order to make sure I sacrificed myself for the mission.'
It took little effort to lure Root out into the alley. Root had taken the lead and had grasped Shaw's hand and with a whispered 'I've missed you Sam.' Root pulled her out of the bar through a side entrance.
Once outside Root locked lips with Sam with a passion usually reserved for the bedroom. Shaw let the hacker kiss her. With her emotions locked away she could not really get into the kiss so she simply let Root do all the work and endured the meaningless kiss.
'Okay enough is enough. Anymore of this and I'm going to be sick.' Shaw thought trying to make herself feel some nausea from the other woman's actions and not the dull aches of longing that she refused to acknowledge. She took hold of Root's clothing and spun the around. Shaw shoved Root against the brick wall harder than was necessary, but she needed to tap into her reservoirs of anger lest she lose control of herself. Deciding to give Root a small taste of her pain Shaw bit the woman's lip hard enough to draw blood.
It was probably too hard since Root broke the kiss and gave Shaw a confused look. "Sam is something wrong?"
'Now' Shaw thought as she put a seductive look on her face. Raising a hand up she gently cupped Root's cheek for a second before digging her nails in and yanking her hand down. Long angry red scratches were left behind. In some places they were deep enough to draw blood. Putting a hand around Root's throat she began to squeeze tightly. All the pain she had felt since realizing how deeply the woman had betrayed her. Her face twisted into a cruel smile as she saw horror dawn on Root's face. The woman was finally realizing that Shaw was done being played and that Root's actions had finally come back to bite her in the ass like she so richly deserved.
Shaw felt Root's hand scramble at her hand trying to break the grip so Sameen tighten her hand further. Focusing on choking Root into unconsciousness she missed seeing the woman take hold of something.
"I'm sorry." Root managed to choke out. Shaw briefly wondered why the woman was just now trying to apologize for everything she had done. Then she felt something jam into her stomach and there was a burst of electricity that roared through her body and subsequently into Root's. Shaw's hold on the woman's throat relaxed. Sameen's vision went dark at the corners and she slipped into darkness once more.
A/N: It kind of scares me how easily I slipped into Shaw's thinking for this chapter. Let me know if you guys think it is too hackney or unbelievable and if it needs changing. Any and all suggestions/corrections are welcome. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.