"So, who wants to share with us how their week went?"

Emma sat in the basement of the church, listening to Archie as he tried to get a volunteer from the group to talk. As expected, no one raised their hands or offered up their voices. The fragile woman Belle sat with her arms wrapped around her and her head down, though occasionally her eyes would flicker to Mr. Gold, who sat staring off into the distance. Killian sat across the circle from Emma, looking as if he would rather be anywhere else than in this meeting. Everyone was just as stoic as they were at Emma's first meeting, and soon the silence became unbearable. Please, someone just talk so we can get this over with, Emma thought.

Finally, a man who sat a few seats down from Emma raised his hand. He looked no older than 20, far too young to be in an Alcoholics Anonymous group. He was barely an adult, yet he had obviously been through enough to end up here with the rest of them. Alcohol doesn't care how old you are, as long as it can control you.

"Ahh Luke, what exciting things have happened in your life recently?" Archie asked, just as relieved as Emma was that someone finally spoke up.

"Well, last Thursday my girlfriend Jamie had our baby girl and we named her Lily," Luke said, a huge smile spreading across his face. "She's the cutest thing I've ever seen, and she's so tiny I can hold her with one hand." There were a few audible "awwwws" from the few women in the group, though Emma was not one of them.

No, please, I don't wanna hear this, Emma thought. I'm not ready for this.

"How does it feel to be a father Luke?" Archie asked. "Are you happy, scared, or anxious? Maybe all three?"

"I'm very happy, but I'm also scared out of my mind," Luke answered. "I wanna be the best father that I can be to her, but I know that I have a long way to go. That's why I'm here, because I don't want my daughter to grow up with an alcoholic as a dad." A few members of the group nodded their heads in agreement.

"It's normal to have those feelings Luke, and I'm glad you've recognized what you need to do in order to be a good dad," Archie said. "Lily is a lucky girl to have a dad like you. You're going to be a great dad. I promise."

Everyone in the group gave a light handclap for Luke for sharing, but Emma felt as if the room was spinning. She needed to get out of there, and fast, before she did something stupid in front of the whole group. She noticed that Killian gave her a questioning look, which didn't make her feel any better. There had to be a bathroom around that she could escape to.

Trying her best to keep her emotions in order, Emma politely excused herself from the room and headed to the bathroom down the hall. She could feel the tears starting to burn behind her eyes, yet she refused to let them fall. All she needed was some time alone in order to gather herself. Then everything would be back to normal.

Please let everything go back to normal.

Emma walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She turned on the sink and began splashing cold water on her face. The act usually helped to calm her down, but this time it didn't. Her hands shook violently and her breaths became shallower. She had to get herself together before she went into a full-blown panic attack.

Just block it out Emma. Everything will be fine if you just block it out.

But no matter how hard Emma tried, she couldn't block the memories from coming. They consumed her before she could stop them.

2 years ago…

Oh my God…this can't be right

The room began to spin around her. She had to grip the sink in order to stop herself from collapsing. Emma couldn't deny what she saw right in front of her emerald eyes: two red lines running parallel to each other. She never thought she would see this day (she definitely hadn't been planning on it), but there it was.

I'm pregnant.

Her hand went to her flat stomach, as if she was expecting the baby to somehow respond to her touch. She took the test solely as a precaution after she had missed her period, and her only hope had been that the test would come back negative. Emma knew that she wasn't ready to be a parent; she had never had parents of her own to take care of her in the first place. There was no way that she could provide for this child, no way that she could give them the life they deserved. Yet reality had dealt her this hand, and now she had to make a move.

"Emma, are you alright? You've been in there a long time, and I just wanna make sure you're okay."

His voice brought her out of her thoughts, and caused a set of new ones to start racing through her mind. How could she tell him that he would suddenly be a father? What would he do when she told him? Should she even tell him? Emma couldn't come up with a good enough answer.

"Emma, talk to me, are you okay?" he asked again, worry laced in his voice. Emma knew that she couldn't hide from him forever…she had to be an adult and face him. I just hope he won't be mad at me…

She took a few deep breaths to steady her nerves and then opened the door, making sure to hide the pregnancy test behind her back. Standing in the doorway was her boyfriend of one year, Neal, a look of worry evident on his face. Her hear faltered when she saw him, a new wave of anxiety flooding her. I can't do this…

"Emma, what's wrong?" Neal asked. "What's going on? Why aren't you talking to me?" He was almost pleading with her, his eyes desperate as he searched her face for any sort of clues. She knew that she couldn't hide this from him.

"Neal…I need to show you something," Emma said slowly, bracing herself for his reaction. "Please promise me you won't be mad."

"I'd never be able to be mad at you," he said, a nervous smile crossing his face. "You know you can tell me anything Emma." He comfortingly put his hands on her shoulders, which made her relax slightly, though not enough. This is it…

"I…I haven't been f-feeling well for some time, and when I noticed that I missed my period, I took a pregnancy test," Emma began, not able to look Neal in the eyes. "And…it came back positive." She was waiting for him to understand…waiting for him to understand what this actually meantfor them.

"You're…pregnant?" Neal asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Emma felt tears build behind her eyes as she nodded her head, her hands bringing the pregnancy test out from behind her back to show him. Neal took it in his own hands, staring intently at the two lines. His eyes became bigger, though he remained silent. Emma couldn't take it much longer.

"Neal, please say something," she begged. "What are you thinking?" Emma didn't know if she was ready for what he had to say, but she would rather deal with the pain sooner than later.

"I think this is the best news in the world…"

Emma's head snapped up, not fully believing that she had heard him right. Neal was smiling down at her—a real smile—and she could see the tears building behind his own eyes. Her hear swelled so much that she thought it might burst, but she wasn't afraid anymore. Neal was happy, and that's all that mattered.

"You're not mad at me?" Emma asked, not able to hide the hopefulness in her voice. "I thought you would be scared or run off…" To be fair, Emma always had a fear that Neal would leave her, all because of how fucked-up she was by her past. But he hadn't so far, and now it didn't look like he ever would.

"Of course I'm not mad Emma, we're gonna be parents!" he exclaimed. "And I promise you we'll be the best parents this kid could ever ask for!" He was laughing and smiling and Emma never thought she had seen someone so beautiful. Neal whisked her up in his arms, spinning her around and saying how happy he was. Emma laughed with him, feeling on top of the world for the first time in her life. Suddenly she wasn't as afraid as she was before to be a parent, because she wouldn't be alone. She would have Neal, and he would never leave her. And that's all Emma could ever hope for.

I'm going to be a mom…

A steady knock on the door brought her back from her memories to the bathroom in the church, her hands clenched to the sink. Her whole body was shaking, and the need to vomit became stronger the longer she stood there. She couldn't go back out there and face those people, at least not like this. She needed to get out of here completely; get out and go to the nearest bar to drown her sorrows in vodka. Too bad that wasn't an option. The knocking continued, though Emma didn't make a move to open the door.

"Emma, are you okay?" she heard Killian ask. "I just wanted to check on you."

Why was he here, knocking on the door and making sure she was okay? What did he care about her having a complete freak-out when he didn't even know her? Killian just needed to leave her alone. Everyone did.

"Emma, are you alright?" Killian asked again, anxiety evident in his voice.

"Please, just leave me alone," Emma begged. "I just wanna be alone right now. I'll be okay, I promise." She didn't need Killian to be out there, acting as if he actually cared a little bit about her. She didn't need anyone to come check up on her. She would pull herself together…eventually.

There was silence from the other side of the door, until she heard Killian's footsteps as he walked away, back to their AA meeting. She was grateful that he hadn't pressed her any further; she knew that if it were David and Mary Margaret, they would've broken down the door just to get to her. But Killian respected that fact that she needed her space. And she couldn't ask for anything more.

After splashing her face with more water and getting her hands to finally stop shaking, Emma tried to come up with a plan to get out of the rest of the meeting. She knew that from the moment she walked back in the room that everyone would be staring at her, wondering why in the hell did she take off so quickly. The thought terrified Emma all over again, and she could feel her hands begin to twitch again. She wouldn't be able to go back in there, she just didn't have the strength for it. She wished that she could just melt into the walls and disappear, and never have to face this ever again.

The sound of approaching footsteps brought Emma back down to Earth. She was expecting that it would be Killian coming to check up on her again, but she didn't hear his knock at the door. Instead, the footsteps went just as quickly as they came, with no disturbances this time. Emma was confused; why wouldn't Killian at least say something? Finally, the curiosity got the better of her, and Emma opened the door slowly to see what had happened, or if she was just imagining things.

She was shocked, to say the least, that her red leather jacket and small purse lay neatly on the floor in front of the door. On top lay a crumpled napkin from the snack table with scribbled handwriting on it. Emma picked up the napkin and read the message addressed to her:

Emma,

I thought you would appreciate not having to go back in the middle of the meeting to retrieve your things, so I brought them to you. I don't know why you left or what's going on, but I just wanted to let you know everything will be okay. I hope you feel better.

Killian

P.S. Maybe a nice cup of hot chocolate will make things better.

Never before had Emma felt so much gratitude, especially to such a simple act of kindness. She would've never expected anyone to do something like this for her, yet once again Killian had surprised her. She knew the next time she saw him, whether it be at the docks at lunch or back here in the church basement, she would need to thank him.

Emma retrieved her phone from the pocket of her jacket and wrote a quick text to Mary Margaret asking her friend to pick her up early. She gathered the rest of her stuff, placed Killian's note into her purse, and headed to the door leading to the outside of the church. Maybe some fresh air will make me feel a little better, Emma thought.

By the time Mary Margaret picked her up 10 minutes later, all traces of Emma's panic attack were gone. When asked why she needed to be picked up earlier than usual, Emma lied and said that she was feeling a little sick and didn't want to spread whatever she may have to the rest of the group. Her friend didn't press her for anymore information, and for that Emma was grateful. The rest of their ride to her apartment was in silence.

"I hope you feel better Emma," Mary Margaret called as she watched her friend head through the front doors to her apartment's lobby. "I'll see you tomorrow night for dinner!" Emma waved goodbye to Mary Margaret as she drove off, and proceeded to the elevators and up to her apartment.

Her apartment was covered in darkness as usual, though the fact that she was alone brought her comfort. It suddenly occurred to Emma how tired she was; almost having a full-blown panic attack really took the energy out of you. All she wanted to do was go to sleep and forget about everything that had happened tonight. She was sure to have nightmares of her past like she usually did, but that wasn't a real surprise, especially since she already had a horrifying flashback just over an hour ago. Life just loved to repeatedly screw her over.

Emma took a long shower in order to relieve herself of the stress that permeated throughout her body. She honestly felt better afterwards, but she knew that would only last for a little while longer. After drying herself off and throwing on a loose camisole and pajama bottoms, Emma walked back into her living room where her jacket and purse sat on the back of the couch.

Suddenly Emma remembered Killian's note that was still tucked away in her purse. She pulled it out and read it over once more, somewhat amazed that the man who had tested her limits at her first meeting would do something so kind for her at her second. There was a lot more to Killian than just who he chose to show on the surface, and the thought of who that was intrigued Emma more than she liked to admit. Maybe I should try to figure out who this Killian Jones is, Emma thought, fixing herself up for some sort of mission to figure out who this artistic deckhand was who kept telling her that things would get better. This definitely had not been her plan when it came to tackling her Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

And maybe a nice cup of hot chocolate will make things better…