It was probably the fiftieth time I was having this conversation, but Jack was once again asking me about Sarah-the girl he knew since Elementary and has been asking out since he figured out he liked her.

"So I really do stand a chance?"

"Yep. So long as you don't make her angry." I told him and grinned, causing him to shake his head at me. "Now shut up and do your part of the poster-thingy. I want to get this done and over with."

Jack scowled at me and grabbed a marker, drawing a few red lines across the board. "Have you never liked anyone?"

I paused to think about it. I stopped what I was doing to sit cross-legged and folded my arms over my chest. "To be honest...I don't think I have, really. I mean, there are those crushes you get-which are just mere infatuations 'cause you think someone is cute, and then there's the like and love part-er, faction. Yeah, faction. I haven't really "liked" or "loved" anyone like that. I'm more than content having you and Sarah and Erin with me as my friends. All I need is you guys with me to be happy. Who needs a guy?"

I said that, not knowing the repercussions of loneliness that would happen in the next two years.

...

I know they didn't hate me, or even dislike me, but it hurt every time they asked me to go away so they could spend some time together alone. I sat down in the empty practice room, my knees tucked up to my chest. I felt like crying-I was crying. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be with my best friends. But if they didn't want me there, so be it. I'll let them have their time together.

I was the third-wheel, after all. It was strange...it didn't hurt until recently, when they finally stopped talking to me all together and only focused on each other. They were ignoring their other friends too, so I wasn't alone in this dark reality.

Maybe they'd prefer it if I was gone out of their lives? I wondered what they'd do if I suddenly disappeared, if I died or was kidnapped...what would they do, or what would their lives be like, if I never even existed at all? Would they care, would they miss me, or would they be happier without me even alive? Sometimes I was tempted, I would never actually do it though, to take a knife and stab myself in the chest. I didn't like sharp objects because of that reason...that curiosity.

What would happen if one died? Would it all be black, or would they open their eyes right after as an infant again without any memories? The thought scared me. I didn't like it. That's why I hated hurting people, but I still do it anyway...

I had no idea how to show affection, I had no idea how to react or respond, and I always resort to violence...

Why was I such a jerk? Why was I...such a bad person?

...

I wish Pierce was here... Who was that? I couldn't think. I had no idea. It was a thought that just passed my mind randomly as I looked at the clock ticking away on the wall. I was in math class again, preparing for a test I did not study for. Pierce...Pierce, Pierce, Pierce, Pierce...cool name. Was that a name? Did it mean something else?

I tapped my pencil against my desk in annoyance, staring at my drawing with a deep frown. We were supposed to be studying, but when was I going to do that? I was going to fail the test anyway. Ah, but I need a D in this class if I don't want to get in trouble...

Why couldn't it be English Class?

I blinked, seeing something out of the corner of my eye and turned my head, staring out the window to see a white rabbit with red eyes staring at me. Hm, weird. That's interesting. I blinked again, and frowned in confusion when it was suddenly gone.

"Alexis...It's time to wake up."

Wake up? To what? It's not like I have anything important to be doing at this moment. Maybe I should go to sleep... the teacher wouldn't ever notice.

"Wonderland."

Wonder-what? Okay, I'm sorry, but does this look like Alice in Wonderland to you? No. Why am I hearing voices anyway?

"WAKE UP!"

My eyes shot open and I sat up quickly, only to groan and grab my aching head. Ow, ow, ow, big mistake! Big mistake!

"Hey, you're awake!" I blinked and turned my head, startled to see Boris walking over with a bowl of porridge in his hands. "I figured you'd be waking up soon and would want something to eat, so I made ya somethin'."

"...You can cook?" I asked in confusion, turning around and sitting up properly. I yawned, and blinked when the bowl was set on my lap. I sniffed the food hesitantly and my face morphed into surprise. It smelt like Cream of Wheat. "Uh, th-thanks..."

"You're welcome." He said and plopped onto the seat next to me, his hands behind his head as he set his feet on the coffee table in front of us. "It's hot, so be careful. When do ya want me to take ya back to the tower?"

I didn't answer, picking up the spoon and blowing on the hot cereal.

"I'm not gonna drop ya off in the woods, Alexis. I'm also not just gonna let ya get yourself kidnapped."

I took a bite and swallowed, saying, "Then don't drop me off there. Just open a door leading to the woods and I'll walk out on my own." I flinched when I felt him flick me in the side of my head. "What?"

He stared at me, looking unimpressed as he leaned forward. I leaned my head back, alarmed at the closeness. "Are you tryin' to get yourself in trouble? If I let ya vanish, that rat's gonna go all around Wonderland lookin' for ya. Nightmare's gonna throw a fit at me, and Gray might just skin me alive. You're safer at the tower than ya would be in the woods."

"But no one else is!" I protested, causing his ears to twitch. He blinked at me. "If I stay at the tower, Nightmare's just gonna send another servant to go out with me when I leave, and then that person will get killed! You nearly got killed saving me, and-and if I-if I hang around anyone else then-then they'll get killed!"

"Where's your proof?"

"H-Hah?"

"Where's your proof that you'll get people killed?" I couldn't answer that. I didn't know how. Boris reached over and poked me in the forehead, causing me to close my eyes in response as his hand came close to my face. I opened them after a moment and stared at Boris, stunned. He looked dead serious, a look I've never really seen on his face before. "Exactly. Ya don't have any. If someone dies, then they die. That's of their own accord. People don't care about death here, Alexis. You and Alice are the only ones who do. Now, before ya go and give me a speech about how my life is important, think for a moment about how your life is important. We're putting ourselves in danger because we care about ya, and we don't want to see ya hurt. If we die in the process, oh well. We'll just get replaced."

"...You wouldn't be the same person though. You wouldn't even have the same memories."

"Maybe not, but if you find the person with our clock, I'm sure that there's just enough of us in there to want to protect you." I flinched when he flicked me in the forehead, Boris standing up and ordering, "Now eat your food. I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back soon. Don't leave this house for any circumstance."

I was confused. "What, why?"

"Because we're not in Clover right now. If you leave my room without me, you'd be stuck in Heart Country." So, if I left the room...I'd no longer be in Clover? The people wouldn't be able to get me, and because I wouldn't be in Clover, no one I care about would get killed- "Don't even think about it." Fine. Jerk. "It isn't your fault." I watched him open the door and leave, walking into town.

I sighed, deciding that I was just going to sleep some more once I finished eating. Then I grew confused. How the hell were we in Boris' room in Heart Country, when we were just in Clover a time period or two ago? (My clothes were no longer torn or bloody, so I figured that the time changed) I blinked and turned my head, looking out a window in surprise. "Are those...rollercoasters?" I placed the bowl on the coffee table and stood up, making my way over to the window slowly. "Dude! Even a Ferris Wheel?"

Now I wanted to go outside, but I remembered what Boris said and huffed, parking my butt back on the couch and grudgingly eating the hot cereal. I had always wanted to go to an Amusement Park. I wondered if for a moment why I ended up in Clover and not Heart, or even Diamond, but said and did nothing as I just sat there and ate my cereal. It hurt to walk anyway.

...

"I'm back!"

"Took you long enough!" I growled, my eyebrow twitching in annoyance. It felt like hours since he had left. There was nothing for me to do but sit on the couch and stare at the wall. "What the heck were you doing!?"

"Ah..." He paused, scratching the side of his face. "Well, I was sneaking into Heart Castle again."

"Why did you do that for?"

"Because it's fun. Hey, how are your bruises?" I blinked at the question, surprised.

"They're bruises," I replied, frowning. I raised a hand up to my neck, the choker hanging off my neck and resting on my chest. It was connected to the dress. "Why?" Boris stared at me for a moment before walking over, kneeling down in front of me. He then grinned, mischief flashing in his golden eye. "Wh-What?"

"You know what would make the rat mad?"

I almost responded with "Pierce is a mouse", but instead said, "What?"

"This. Don't move."

"H-Hey, what-what are you-Get off of me, Boris-Gyah!" I flinched and leaned my head back, tensing when he lunged forward and ran his tongue across the bruises on my neck. "Wh-What are you do-doing!?" My voice squeaked a little and went up a pitch. I tried to kick him with my left foot, or at least knee him in the stomach, but he quickly pressed a hand down on my thigh and kept me from hurting. His other hand was lifting my head, holding my chin. I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt his tongue brush against a rather ticklish spot on my neck. My shoulders scrunched up and I heard him chuckle. I tried to push him off with my hands.

"I'm almost done. Stop freakin' out on me." F-Freaking out!? Hell yes I'm freaking out! STOP LICKING MY NECK, DAMN IT! This was sexual harassment! After a few more moments of me struggling him and Boris being amused as his tongue molested my neck, he finally pulled away with a cat-like grin. His ear twitched, and he said, "Pierce is gonna get so upset." He laughed and sat down on the floor, his tail swishing back and forth wildly. "He's-He's gonna be so scared of you!"

"Wh-What!?" I demanded, trying frantically to get all the wet and disgusting saliva off of my neck. "Why!?" My bruises were all gone.

"B-because!" He gasped, still laughing, "You-Ya smell like cats now!"

I scowled furiously at him, unamused with his actions. The jerk! I'm gonna kick his ass and strangle him. No, better yet, I'm just going to have Nightmare give him nightmares...Oh, yes. That would be wonderful. I'm going to laugh as he screams and writhes in terror as dogs chase after him in his dreams, and when he thinks that Wonderland ran out of fish...

"This is gonna be great! Hey, hey, Alexis! Ya wanna pretend to be my girlfriend-Nya? Pierce'll be so pissed!"

"What do you mean he's gonna be mad!?" I demanded, glaring at him. I imagined his tail catching on fire. Sadly, it didn't happen. "He doesn't like me in that way! Jeez, you and Nightmare are freaking messed up in the head!"

Boris stopped laughing immediately at my words and stared at me in stunned silence. His jaw dropped a little. "You...Ya don't..."

I scrunched my nose up and scowled again, crossing my arms once I was satisfied with my cleaning. "Don't want?"

The Cheshire Cat-Human closed his mouth as his tail drooped against the ground, his ears flattening against his head. He looked like he was upset about something. "I...Wow. I can't believe I'm saying this, but...I feel sorry for Pierce." He hung his head, a stress lines forming on his face, "He must be holding back so much..." Boris sounded like he was going to cry. I could only stare at him confusion, and slight worry for his mental-state of mind.

"Um...you okay, dude?"

He sighed, pushing himself up onto his feet as he shook his head. "I...need to go...go..." He waved one of his fingers around the air, as if trying to figure out what it was he wanted to do. "I'm...goin' to do the dishes!" He blurted, seeing the empty bowl on the coffee table. "Yes! After-After that, I'll-I'll take ya back to the tower, alright?"

...

...

"...Okay." I really didn't want to go back there. Mainly for the reason that I'll get people killed, but also for the fact that I'll be getting a lecture from not only Gray, but I'll be getting a rant from Nightmare as well. Hopefully Pierce doesn't even know I'm gone.

After a few more moments of pointless thinking, Boris leaving the room in the mean time to go do dishes, I tied the choker back around my neck. I kept thinking about how I shouldn't head back to the tower, about how I didn't belong in Wonderland, and about why this was all happening in the first place.

If I refused Nightmare's offer and never asked the Doctor man for directions...would all this be happening? Would I have ended up somewhere else, living alone in the woods, starving? Would some random faceless have taken me in?

I know Nightmare and Peter said that I was in Wonderland so that I could have a chance at happiness, but...

Why should I have happiness, when so many other people are deprived of it?