I didn't like this. Pierce hugged me before running back out the exit, on his way to find Boris. I wasn't sure what was scaring me more-the fact that bad guys were trying to kidnap me and kill my friends, or that my friends were actually getting along, and that Pierce was looking for Boris. I sat down with knees tucked against my chest, my head resting in my arms as I leaned against the giant tree covered with buttons and bottles.
Were they safe? We left Boris to fend for himself...Who would do something like that? What kind of person am I? I-I'm...I really am a horrible person... I couldn't even speak as Pierce told me to stay and ran off. "D-Damn it..." It was hard not to cry. "What am I doing?"
I hadn't the slightest clue what I was supposed to do now. Was I supposed to just sit here? It was obvious that I couldn't even spend one time period outside the tower with Boris and Pierce without getting attacked. Oh, god, what if they end up like John!? N-No...
No, no, no...That's not-That's not going to happen. Pierce and Boris are tougher than that... They won't die. Right? Right?
What about Nightmare and Gray? They went to the hospital earlier. Did-Did they get attacked? Oh, god, what if Gray was so busy trying to protect Nightmare that he got killed, and because Nightmare ended up sick again that he died because he couldn't protect himself?
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god... Please be okay, please be okay-be okay, be okay, be okay- I couldn't stop thinking. The only thing that crossed my mind was about all the possible bad outcomes. I groaned and grabbed my head, banging it against the tree behind me repeatedly in an attempt to get rid of all the horrible thoughts. God damn, how much of a pessimist was I? They're okay. They're totally okay. They're not-They're not dead or anything...
I swallowed, the tears stinging my eyes. I didn't even know how long it had been since Pierce had left me here. "D-Damn it..." I was truly pathetic. Just how much longer was I going to keep thinking like this? They didn't hate me-no, they wanted to protect me and here I was sitting here while they were leading themselves to their deaths! Damn it.
Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, IDIOT! I stood up, and right at that moment Pierce ran back into the room, covered in blood. His arm was no longer bleeding, but I took no notice of that I stormed up to him, a dark look on my face as my bangs fell into my eyes. Pierce seemed not to notice as he smiled at me, rushing over to hug me. I didn't protest as his arms wrapped around, and I listened as he told me about what happened.
"Alexis~! We got rid of the bad people, so you don't have to worry now, okay? I buried them and we know who they're working for, so we can-"
Pierce was promptly shut up with as my hand struck his face, leaving a bright red mark on his left cheek. He was completely silent as I glared up at him, tears threatening to fall down my face. Wh-Who the hell does he think he is!? Just-Just waltzing in here like that!? He-He...That...
"IDIOT!" I screamed at him, tackling him and wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. He froze at my sudden actions, his teary green eyes widening in shock. "Just-Just what the hell were you thinking!? You can't-You can't just-just leave me like that! What if you got killed!?" I tensed when I realized what my words sounded like and quickly pulled away, face flushing slightly as I scowled. I crossed my arms and turned my head, looking away from Pierce. "I-I wasn't that worried, so-so don't get the wrong idea, okay? Jeez, you're so stupid!" It took all I had to make sure my voice didn't crack. "Y-You're covered in blood..."
He just continued to stare at me, as if he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do or say. I swallowed and rubbed my neck awkwardly, not liking the current situation.
"You...didn't get hurt, are you? How's Boris? Is he alright!? He didn't get killed, did he!?" Worry suddenly overtook me as I looked at him, grabbing his arms and looked over the bloodstains trying to find any cuts or bullets. "Why-Why are you so stupid!? I-I swear, you're always acting like an idiot, and then you go and this happens! How badly did you get hurt?"
"Hm? I didn't get hurt." He replied in confusion, finally finding his voice.
"Like hell you didn't," I growled, glaring at him. My eyes were still watery. "Jacket. Off. Now." Pierce frowned at me, but did as told, stripping himself of his green coat. "Good boy. Now come here and let me see your arms." Pierce blinked at me and held out his arms to his sides, allowing me to cautiously push up his sleeves to try and find any injuries. I'll be honest-the most I know about medicine is you use ointment and bandages. Shouldn't be too difficult if I find a scratch; I would just slap a bandaid on it and tell him to deal with it.
I ignored the fact that he had muscle and moved to his other arm, pushing that sleeve up as well and examining it. My eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a small thin scar. "Where'd that come from?"
"Huh? Oh, that's from when a bullet scratched me earlier. It'll be gone once this time period ends." Pierce answered, smiling. "We heal faster than you and Alice do." I scowled at him, slapping him in the arm lightly. He winced and let out a complaint. "Why'd you do that!?"
"Because I could. Now tell me what happened to Boris. Is he alright?" He wasn't...dead, right?
Pierce's eyes darkened for a moment, narrowing at me slightly. "Why are you so worried about him?"
"I'm not worried about him," I corrected, very obviously lying. "He's just-I'm just trying to find out if he's still alive or not, okay? He's-" Should I say it? If I say it...if I completely admit that I had attachments here, could I truly leave? ...Screw it, I already called Nightmare my best friend, so what the hell? "He's my friend."
"What am I, then?"
"You're my friend, too." I responded easily, looking him dead in the eyes. "Why the hell did you think I was yelling at you a few moments ago?" I felt his arms slip out of my grasp and I stilled when he cupped my face with his hands, leaning down to get a better look at my face. He looked serious as he tilted his head at me, his bangs falling out of his eyes. "Wh-What?" I tried to take a step back, my face flaring red, but Pierce made it a little difficult with him holding my head like he was. It was gentle, but firm.
"...You're pathetic," He told me, a small smile curling up on his lips. I froze, looking at him stunned with wide eyes. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine softly, smiling with his eyes closed. "And you're cute...and you're all mine." He kissed my forehead, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut at the action. I was still not completely used to his actions of affection. Or, rather, over-affection. "You're adorable when you're trying to hide."
Wait, what? No, no, no, no, no. Pierce was gullible. Not knowledgeable. There was a big difference. He shouldn't have known I was hiding something. I looked at him alarmed, and I was even more alarmed when I realized how close his face was to mine. "H-Hide? D-Dude, what the hell are you t-talking about?"
His ear twitched and he kissed me again, before moving over and lightly nibbling on my ear.
"Nnng... H-Hey!" I pulled away and clamped a hand over my ear, my face a dark red as I glared weakly at him. "D-Don't-Don't do that!"
He looked surprised and pouted at me, "Why not?"
"B-Because!"
He frowned for a moment before he reached over and hugged me, pulling me into his chest as his arms clung to tightly, holding me close. "If you're scared, just tell me-Chuu. I said I'd protect you."
Y-You... "Stupid..." I muttered, hitting him on the chest lightly. I placed my hands on his chest and grumbled to myself, feeling my eyes start to water again. "I-I'm not scared...I wasn't. I don't care what you say, I wasn't worried."
"Hehe...You're so cute. You're so cute and pathetic, Alexis. Chuu~!" He kissed the side of my head and I leaned into the touch, feeling very warm for some reason.
Oddly, Boris' riddle popped up into my head. Can warm without heat... and makes you stronger, but weaker at the same time because you're vulnerable. I've read so many books and poems, dealt with so many rhymes and riddles...watched one too many animes. I knew the answer. Damn it, this wasn't good. Not. At. All.
"I love you," He hummed, kissing my forehead. "I'm glad you don't hate me."
Wh-What brought up that subject? He wasn't Nightmare, he can't read minds! Or-Or was it the way the conversation was going and I stopped listening and I missed what he was saying before? Maybe it was because I started to think and I lost the mood? I don't KNOW!
"Y-yeah, well, I don't-I don't love you, so-so deal with it." GAH! Why did I just say that!? NO! MOUTH SHUT UP! BRAIN, STOP THINKING.
"Hmm..." Pierce appeared thoughtful as he loosened his grip on me. "Okay. I have plenty of time though, so I'm not worried."
Again, time for what? Answers, dude, I need answers!
"Time for what?" I demanded, pulling away from him. He smiled widely at me, his soulless eyes boring into mine pleasantly. "P-Pierce?"
He said with a grin, "To make you fall in love with me, of course!"
...Haaaaaah?
"FOOOD!" I tried not to burst out laughing as Nightmare barged into the kitchen, slamming the doors open as he breathed heavily, exhausted from running such a long way. "We-We're back!" He breathed, panting as sweat trailed down the side of his face. Gray strolled in next, sending Nightmare a stern look.
"Indeed we are, Alexis. And Lord Nightmare, what have I told you about not straining your body? You get sick much faster when you run. You haven't even taken your medicine yet."
Nightmare looked around the room expectantly, as if waiting for food to pop up out of thin air. He deflated soon enough, looking at me with fearful eyes. "You...didn't make anything?" I shook my head, frowning.
"Nope. I was about to, though, when you barged in."
Gray spoke next, still holding his coat over his arm as he had to chase after Nightmare, "I told you that I would cook dinner tonight, Alexis." I stared at him in confusion, trying to remember when that was.
"...You...did...Oh! I remember now, sorry. Big day." I lied, trying my hardest to not think about the events. However, that didn't stop me from wanting to cry in relief at the fact that Nightmare and Gray were alive and safe. "Boris kidnapped Pierce and me, dragged us to a restaurant, stuff happened, and now I'm back here."
During my explanation, Gray had moved over and gently pushed me out of the way so he could take control of the kitchen. I moved over to talk to Nightmare properly.
"I see," Nightmare commented, frowning. I scowled when I realized he must have looked through my memories. Jerk. He then commented in amusement, looking down at me, "I see you're wearing Mr. Villiers' clothing again. Really, you must try to hide your intents."
Air got stuck in my throat as I coughed, my face turning a bright red. "Th-That's not it! I-I just grabbed a random outfit and this is what I grabbed! I-I don't pay attention to what I wear, okay?"
"Lies~!" He sang in my head, causing me to scowl and imagine myself punching him. "Hey, that's mean! I didn't do anything wrong!"
"You're making fun of me!" I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I was teasing you! Big difference!"
"Not really."
Gray interrupted calmly, "Dinner is ready." Wait, what? So fast? That wasn't even ten minutes! I turned my head to look at Gray, and felt the blood drain out of my face at the sight of the food he was holding. Was...Was that edible? "Please, sit down. I'll get out the dishes."
...I'm scared. Like, completely scared. It...looked like it was breathing. And it was red. Red and breathing. I don't trust it.
I swallowed as Gray placed a bowl in front of me, then Nightmare, and then sat down himself.
"G-Gray..." Nightmare began slowly, stress lines forming down his blue face, "What...all did you put in it this time?"
"Everything that was needed of course," Gray replied with a pleased smile, obviously proud of his creation. "Salt, pepper, ranch, tomatoes, carrots, broccoli, meat..." The list went on and on and on and it sounded deadly. "It's good and it's healthy for you."
Good...not so sure. Healthy? Probably detrimental to my health. However, Gray looked so...happy and proud of the meal that I had to take a small bite.
And shot out of my seat, power-walking to nearest trashcan to gorge up my stomach acids. Gray looked alarmed, and Nightmare looked sick to the stomach as well. It didn't take long for him to come join in me hacking up anything and everything we had in our stomachs. I felt like I was dying.
That...could not be even called food. It was more like poison. Toxic waste. Death medicine.
Oh-Oh god-I went into another wave of convulsions as I gorged up nothing-seeing as there was nothing left for me to puke up. Nightmare had finished gagging up his blood and stomach, and was now cradling himself in a ball. Lucky.
It took a few more moments, maybe about a minute or two, before I was finally done convulsing. Good god, my chest and stomach hurt...my throat burned and my mouth tasted like-well, like shit. Where's a toothbrush? I groaned to myself as I sat there before falling onto my back onto the marble floor, eyes closed. I could hear Gray fussing over me and Nightmare, but I didn't think much about it.
It was strange. Everything had changed for me. I never thought much about it, I don't even know why I was thinking about it now. But I had changed so much in such a short time.
I went from such a naive little girl to the person I am now. I didn't smile on a daily basis, I didn't even trip as much as I used to. I never really believed in fantasies before, nor have I ever really "wanted" anything. The only thing I had cared about was my friends' happiness. In fact, that was still how I was. I would willingly die in a hole or jump into a lava pit if they would live. I wasn't as childish, though I still do have my moments, and wasn't as...ignorant.
People could die at a given moment and nobody would ever know. No one would care, because it wasn't related to them. But here, death didn't matter. However to me, that wasn't true. Death did matter. Even if one gets replaced, it's not the same person. It's someone completely different.
It's like back in our world, a person dies and a baby is born. But that baby inherits that person's job and becomes the heir. Like a monarchy, but different. You aren't replaced. You die. Someone else comes to take your job. Simple as that. Why does no one else see that?
But they were alive. Nightmare and Gray...Pierce and Boris...they were alive. They were all okay. They weren't killed. They haven't left me.
I blinked away the tears that formed in my eyes and swallowed, cringing at the horrible taste in my mouth and the burning in my throat.
I was growing too attached to this world. To it's people. I didn't want to leave here at all. I wanted to leave at a moments notice. I wanted to stay with my new friends and family. I wanted to see my old friends and family. I wanted to live in Wonderland and goof off, deal with the adrenaline rush from the fear of being killed, running for my life constantly. I wanted to live in my old house with my dad, living a boring and peaceful life, un-threatened by near-death as I argue over Sarah with Jack.
For once in my life, I truly wanted something. But that something is impossible to obtain. So how, how was I supposed to go about it?
I was going to have to make a choice soon. My vial was halfway full. Near completion. I was going to have to choose whether to stay in Wonderland, with Nightmare and Pierce...or go back to my old world, with Derek, Sarah, and Jack.
How...How was I going to make that choice?
I felt a hand ruffle my hair gently and looked up to see Nightmare looking down at me with a gentle smile, a small trail of blood going down his chin. Gray was hovering over Nightmare with napkins in his hands, and was staring down at me worriedly.
How could I leave the people I considered family?
Tears welled up in my eyes, startling Gray as he was unable to read my mind, and tackled Nightmare in a tight hug, sobbing. I seemed to cry a lot. I did back at home as well. However, isn't crying something that makes us who we are?
What makes us human? Alive. Living. Breathing. Showed that we could process emotions and had the ability to care?
Indeed. So why...did it hurt so damn much? Just-Just thinking about that choice...
It felt like someone was crushing my heart with their fist.
Read and review. I like to know what people think about this so far. XD