Inside the Puzzle-Chapter Two
After his confrontation with Addi Birol, Lee stepped into the elevator, his mind in a whirl. Was it true? Was Amanda pregnant with his child? He knew it was a possibility, but why wouldn't she have told him? He shoved his hands in his pockets as the elevator doors closed, his left hand finding the velvet box he'd stashed there. He pulled it out, flipped open the lid and gazed at the sparkling diamond nestled within it as his thoughts began to drift back to that afternoon six weeks or so ago.
Lee saw the distress in Amanda's eyes, the worry for her family. It made him hurt to see her hurting. He was kneeling in front of her while she sat on the couch in their one-room hideout. He was holding both of her hands in his in an attempt to comfort her. "It'll be a big risk, but we'll think of something," he said with a slight smile that he hoped would lift her spirits a little. He was rewarded with a grateful smile from her and a soft kiss. Not a passionate kiss, not like some of the other very heated kisses they'd shared since they'd shared their first real kiss last May. It was just a light feather-light brushing of her lips against his before she leaned her head into his as if needing him for support.
They stayed in that position for a while just holding each other's hands leaning into each other for comfort. It was a reverent moment, quiet, so he was completely unprepared for what happened next. He felt Amanda release her grip on his hands and the next thing he knew he'd landed flat on his back on the floor with Amanda on top of him kissing him feverishly as if there were no tomorrow. He couldn't help but respond at first. He'd held back his true feelings for her for so long that it felt amazing to have her so close to him when he would have never thought it was possible. He moaned into her mouth at the feelings her kisses were invoking in him. He held her head to his, fingers tangling in her dark curls as he kissed her back with all the love in his heart. He was lost in the moment until she broke the kiss, moved to nibble at his neck, then his earlobe and whispered into his ear in a raspy, passion-filled voice, "Make love to me."
Her words immediately set off alarm bells in his head; He gently pushed her off of him and stood up, trying to get his bearings. "No," he said. "Not now."
"Why not?" She questioned as she stood up to face him. "You can't try to tell me you don't want to. I may not be as experienced as you, but I've been around the block enough times to know what's what." She gestured to the bulge in his pants caused by their closeness.
"I'm not saying I don't want you, Amanda. You have no idea how many times I've fantasized about what it would be like to make love to you, but not here, not like this". He glanced around with a gesture at the shabby room, then stepped closer to her and planted a soft kiss to her lips, then another to her forehead as he slid one arm around her waist, but tried to keep a safe distance to keep them from going too far too fast. "I love you and nothing would make me happier than to make those fantasies a reality, but we need to save it for a better time and place."
"We may not have a better time and place. Lee, look at what's going on. The Agency's all over the place hunting us down like we're criminals, not to mention the KGB and what happens if they catch us before we have a chance to clear ourselves? We could end up in prison or worse. One or both of us could get killed in all this! You said you've thought about what it would be like for us? Well, you're not the only one. I can't count the number of daydreams I've had about you and me together and I don't want to die without ever making that dream come true! I don't want to die without ever knowing what it's really like to make love with you."
Lee chuckled softly at her ramble and once again took her hands in his. "I don't want that either, but I also don't want either of us waking up tomorrow with any regrets."
"The only regret that I foresee is if we don't take the next step while we have the chance when we both know that we may not have a tomorrow," she reassured him as she lovingly stroked his face. "Look, we've spent three years dancing around our feelings for each other out of fear. Now, that we finally know for sure that what we have is real, why should we let fear stop us again? Why can't we just have today and let tomorrow take care of itself? I mean, what are we waiting for?"
"I thought I was waiting for you." He chuckled softly.
"Why would you think that when I've been dropping subtle hints all summer long that I wanted more?"
Lee looked at her dumfounded and replied, "That's what you were hinting at? I...Um...I just thought that you were hinting that you wanted me to tell you how I feel about you."
"That's ridiculous," Amanda retorted. "You told me that you've loved me for a very, very long time. Well, guess what? I've known for a very, very long time that you loved me without you ever saying the words. You say it every time that we're together in the way you always look out for me, the way you touch me, that way you look at me, that way you kiss me." As if to demonstrate, she lightly brushed her lips against his. "Not knowing how all of this is going to turn out, I don't think we should wait any longer. It's what we both want, isn't it?"
"I can't argue with that logical mind of yours," he said releasing one of her hands to stroke her face. "But if we're going to do this, I want us to do it right. Let's just take our time." She smiled and kissed him lightly before moving to shove the coffee table out of the way to make room for the bed she knew was hidden within the sofa. She then went to get sheets to cover it with while Lee removed the sofa cushions and pulled the bed from its hiding place. They worked quietly together both anticipating what was to come. When the bed was made up, they both kicked off their shoes and met at the end of the bed.
The time that it had taken to make up the bed had allowed their passion to cool a little and Lee began to hesitate again. He took her hands in his again looking her in the eyes. "You can still change your mind," He said softly. "As much as I want you, I'm okay with waiting." He raised her hands to his lips kissing both of them gently.
"No," Amanda answered firmly pulled her hands from his and kissed him, taking the lead so that he would know without a doubt that she was serious. "Three years of waiting is long enough." She then reached up to push his jacket off his shoulders dropping it to the floor while he did the same with hers before sliding his hands to her waist to un-tuck her blouse slipping his hands beneath it to feel the warm skin on her back. She still had her hands on his shoulders and used that position to pull him in for a deep lingering kiss.
Lee used the added closeness to move his hand further up her back to unclasp her bra before moving his hands toward the front his fingers lightly skimming the sides of her now freed breasts. Lee was the first to break their kiss taking a moment to look into the eyes of the woman he loved and was delighted to see the same love in her eyes that he knew was in his. Amanda reached for the cuffs of his shirt one at a time undoing the buttons before moving her hands to his chest to start on the buttons there. She slowly unbuttoned them one at a time, but paused between each one to plant kisses on each newly exposed patch of flesh. "Oh, Amanda," he sighed at the feel of her lips on his bare skin. She continued this, trailing kisses down his chest and stomach until she reached his belt. She then yanked his shirt out of his pants, made quick work of the remaining buttons, pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms before returning to continue her exploration of him. She started back at the top, nibbling his earlobe before moving down to his neck and attacking the pulse point there reveling in hearing him moan at the contact. She then planted a kiss to his shoulder before moving to take one of his hard nipples in her mouth flicking in with her tongue. "Oh, God, Amanda, You don't know what you're doing to me."
She looked up at him and said, "I've wanted to do that ever since that first undercover case we worked together when I saw you with your shirt open. Remember? You told me to get my mind out of the gutter?"
"Ha! I knew it! I knew you were thinking naughty thoughts then," he said triumphantly, amusement dancing in his eyes.
"Not as naughty as I'm thinking right now," she said as she reached for his belt but he stopped her before she could achieve her goal.
"No, not yet," he said as he pulled her into a searing kiss, plundering her mouth with his tongue imitating the action he knew their bodies would soon be taking. He tore his mouth away from hers, and then moved to her neck while undoing each button on her blouse one at a time. Having finished with that, he dropped her blouse to the floor while she shimmied out of her bra. He wasted no time in capturing one nipple with his mouth and the other with his hand delighted in hearing the moans he was eliciting from her. He soon switched sides to give the other breast the same attention while using his free hand to unbutton and unzip her pants just enough to work his hand inside feeling the lacy panties underneath.
"Oh, Lee," Amanda cried out as he expertly stroked her center.
Hearing her cry out his name urged him on, He moved closer and moved his lips from her breast to her neck while he dipped first one finger, then two inside her moving it in and out of her while still stroking her center with his thumb. She wrapped her hands around his neck clinging to him for balance unable to control herself anymore crying out over and over again. Lee himself groaned in satisfaction when her felt her tighten around his fingers.
Amanda leaned against him for support until the shuddering of her body subsided as Lee removed his hand from her and held her tightly to him. She then pushed her pants off and kicked them aside, her panties following before she returned to the task Lee had stopped her from completing earlier. She made quick work of his belt, his pants and his boxers before he could stop her again. Then when he stood there exposed before her, she gazed at him for just a moment taking in his entire body appreciating his perfectly sculpted muscles, his taut thighs and there was what she wanted for years. She took his erection in her hand and began to lightly stroke him. When she saw him close his eyes groaning at her touch, she lowered herself to take him in her mouth. Lee's eyes opened in his surprise at this, but couldn't help crying out as she suckled him. "Oh, Amanda!" He enjoyed it for a moment but it felt too good, her lips, her tongue, and her teeth lightly grazing him. He knew he'd have to stop her or things would be over way too soon. "Amanda," he said her name again to get her attention, but she continued. He finally had to gently pull her from her location saying, "Amanda, stop." When she didn't stop and added more fuel to the fire by pulling him deeper into her mouth, he reached for her hands and pulled her to her feet.
"Really? You seemed like you were enjoying yourself," she said with a grin.
"Oh, I was," He said kissing her softly. "It was good, too good. I was about to be done and I don't want to be done yet, not until..." he hesitated unsure how much he could say without offending her. This was their first time together and he didn't really know what her boundaries were.
"Not until what?" she said flicking her tongue against her upper teeth in a seductive manner as she snaked her arms around his neck. "Don't be afraid to say what you're thinking. It's just us."
Lee leaned and whispered low in her ear, "...not until I'm inside you."
"Now, was that so hard?" she teased.
"No, but there's something else that is hard," he said feeling bolder now as he pressed against her before lowering her to the bed lowering himself above her.
"So, I noticed," she responded with a giggle.
"All because of you, you did this to me," He whispered into her ear. Lee clasped one hand with hers, looked into her eyes and said, "I love you, Amanda," before capturing her lips once again as he entered her slowly, not moving immediately, just kissing her while giving her time to adjust to the feeling of him inside her.
When he released her lips, Amanda said reaching up to once again stroke his face, "I love you, too, but please don't tease me." She lifted her hips against his and wrapped her legs around him to push him to continue what he'd started. "I need you, all of you."
He needed no further encouragement. He had wanted this for so long. He slowly began to move within her, penetrating her in long, slow strokes wanting to make their first time together last as long as possible. As they made love, meeting each other again and again, he looked into her eyes and seeing the love shining out from them brought tears to his own. He buried his face in her neck pelting her neck and her face with soft kisses as he heard her ragged breathing and her moans of pleasure rivaling his own as she raised her hips up to meet him repeatedly. He was in awe at how perfectly they fit together. He felt her clasp her legs tighter around his hips and knew she was close. He picked up the pace a little longing, to feel her muscles clenching around him and he was not disappointed. She cried out his name repeatedly as her climax hit her sending him spiraling over the edge with her. "Amanda," he cried out as he emptied himself inside her filling her completely.
Lee's thoughts were snapped back to the present by the ding of the elevator. He hastily closed the ring box, shoved it back into his pocket and waited for the doors to open.