"My mother," Amanda replied as she rose from her seat on the couch to face him. "You invited my mother? Here?" She shook her head. "And exactly what truth is it that you were planning on telling her?"
"I mean, the truth, Amanda," Lee replied. "The whole truth, You, me, our engagement, the baby, the agency, everything!"
"Lee, you can't do that! We can't do that. It'll ruin everything we've worked for in the past three years. I have lied to her, and lied to her, and lied to her some more all in the name of keeping her safe, keeping my children safe and for what? For you to just throw it all away because you're scared?"
"Damn right, I'm scared! Do you have any idea how terrified I was when Birol nabbed you? I know exactly what a guy like him is capable of, the things he's willing to do to get what he wants! What if he'd sold you to the Libyans like he threatened to do? You ever think about that, huh? You might have been sold over, and over, and over again to the highest bidder, to be some slave or worse: maybe some bored Arab prince's plaything, just another nameless, faceless harem girl!" He ran his hands through his hair and began pacing furiously, then spun to face her.
They were so embroiled in their argument, that neither registered a second knock at the door or Francine entering from the kitchen saying, "Isn't anyone gonna' get that?" just as Lee was continuing his rant.
"You talk about keeping your children safe, but what about our child, huh? Don't you think it would be better for our child if everything were out in the open, if we were out in the open? More than anything, I want our family to be safe, protected. That's why I want to do this. I'm trying to do the right thing here! I am not Joe King and I'm not going to abandon my responsibility to my child the way that he did!"
"Leave Joe out of this!" Amanda shouted back. "He has nothing to do with this!"
"Okay, I guess I'll get it," Francine said softly, not sure that it was the right thing to do, but at the same time she didn't feel that they should leave Amanda's mother standing out in the hall either. She tiptoed past the squabbling couple and into the foyer, taking a deep breath before opening the door.
Dotty, at seeing the blonde on the other side of the door, looked Francine up and down and said coolly, "Am I the right place?" She glanced at the slip of paper in her hands that she'd jotted Lee's address on and then fixed Francine with a steely gaze. "Perhaps I've got the wrong apartment. I was looking for my daughter's boyfriend, Lee Stetson."
"No, you're in the right place," Francine answered in a pleasant voice. "Hello, Mrs. West, Francine Desmond. I work with Amanda. We've met once before." Of course she wasn't about to tell her that the one time they met, Amanda had introduced her as the owner of a chimpanzee.
While the conversation was going on at the door, the blazing argument was still ongoing in the living room.
"Oh, I think he does!" Lee fired back at Amanda. "I think you got burned with him and now you're screed to death to try to live a normal life with me!"
"Oh, that's just ridiculous!" Amanda countered. "The real issue here is that you've got this macho male ego thing going on where you think you have to protect me and treat me like I'm some fragile porcelain doll!"
Dotty was still trying to place Francine and recall if she'd heard her name before when she heard her daughter's voice. "Is that Amanda? She sounds upset."
"Yeah," Francine replied sheepishly. "And knowing those two, they may be at it for a while." She sighed and said, "Listen, why don't you come on it and I'll get you some coffee until they call a truce on world war three in there. I've learned that it's best not to get between them until they hash it all out or someone might get hurt."
Dotty nodded as Francine let her in and indicated for her to follow her to the kitchen. As they passed by the feud, she couldn't help noticing the look of pure fury etched on her daughter's face. She didn't know Lee very well, but she knew by that look that he was in trouble. She chuckled softly as she followed Francine into the kitchen.
"Oh, that is such a crock!" Lee shouted. "This is not about some male ego thing. This is about me keeping you safe!"
"No," Amanda retorted. "No, it's not. This is all about you thinking that you didn't keep me safe. Don't think I haven't noticed all those self-flagellating guilty looks on your face since last night! The same kind that you had on your face that day that you told me about Dorothy."
"Don't you dare bring her into this," Lee fired back hotly.
"Why not? You brought Joe into this. Besides, it's the truth! You're blaming yourself for me getting captured, just like you blamed yourself for years for her being killed! Well, I've got news for you, Lee! She knew the risks to the job we do going into this, the same way that I knew the risks when I started working for the agency. I mean, you said it yourself last night, that first case we worked together, I went in there to save you knowing exactly what I was getting into. I knew what I was getting into when Billy offered me the job three years ago and I knew what I was getting into when Dr. Smyth offered me the full-time job and admittance into the agent candidate program!"
"But if I'd never given you that package-"
"Would you stop with the damned package, already! Every time we get into a jam, you bring up that package, like when we spent the night in the swamp being hunted down by Sacker and his men! You blamed yourself then just like you're blaming yourself now and do you remember what I said you then? I'm an adult! You may have handed me that package, but no one made me take it! I could've refused and walked away, I could've taken it and just dumped it in the trash the minute you ran off. I could've let it go when you told me to stay out of it after the fact when you tried to say goodbye to me!" She heaved a deep sigh and in a calmer tone, explained, "I didn't because I...I couldn't. Not once I realized that your life was in danger and that nobody at the agency had a clue where you were. I knew that you didn't have any backup coming for you because of that and I couldn't get them to listen to me or to put me through to someone who could help you. You said last night how brave I was for walking in there the way that I did, but to tell you the truth, I was scared to death. But I knew...I knew what was right. I knew that you could be killed if I didn't do something. So, I did everything that I could to put my own fear aside so I could do what I needed to do to save you."
"And you could've been killed in the process," Lee pointed out, also in a calmer tone matching hers.
"Well, I wasn't and neither were you and do you know why?" She stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his arm. "Because we worked together to get out of it. We were a team then, just like we should be a team now. I think that we've more than proven that together we can handle anything that comes our way."
Lee sighed, nodded and conceded, "You're right, we have." He paused for a moment, took her hands in his and led her back to the sofa. As they sat down together, he said, "But it ends now. Listen, I'm seriously thinking of taking that job at the state department, getting out of the field. I can't keep doing this, can't keep risking your life."
"No," Amanda shook her head. "You can't do that. I won't let you. You'd hate it, being chained to a desk, going blind on paperwork...It's not who you are."
"It doesn't matter, Amanda. I'll learn not to hate it. I'll make it who I am to keep you safe, keep our family safe."
In the kitchen, after accepting the coffee cup from Francine, Dotty glanced at Francine and having noticed that the shouting from the living room had ceased. "So...uh...Miss...Desmond, is it?"
"Yes," Francine nodded.
"You...um...you said something about not getting between them when they're like this, so you've...um...known both of them for a while, I assume." Dotty knew the answer, but she wanted confirmation of it.
Francine nodded. "I've known Lee longer, but yes." She turned back to her lunch preparations to avoid Dotty's intense questioning gaze.
"Here, let me help you with that," Dotty suggested as she began rooting through Lee's cabinets and the content of his refrigerator, chuckling softly as she did so. "You know, that man may be cute and charming, but he has no idea how to organize a kitchen."
"To be honest, neither do I," Francine admitted with a soft laugh. "I'm not much of a cook, but this...the chicken salad...this is something that even I can't screw up."
"Here, try this," Dotty said as she handed her a bottle she'd just pulled out of a cupboard.
Francine glanced at the bottle warily. "Lemon pepper?"
"Just a touch. Trust me," Dotty answered with a smile working up to asking her the questions that were on her mind. "Lemon pepper is great with chicken, but not too much of it or it'll overpower the other ingredients." The two women worked in silence together for a moment before Dotty said, "So, tell me about Lee, about his relationship with Amanda. I mean, if you work with them, you must know more than I do."
Francine sighed and replied, "Not really. I didn't even know that they were seeing each other outside of work until yesterday."
"Then how about telling me what the fight's all about in there?"
"Listen, Mrs. West," Francine stated firmly as she halted her task. "I can't, okay? That's something you're just going to have to talk to Amanda about."
Back in the living room, Amanda was holding both of Lee's hands in hers, looking intently into his eyes as she said, "Lee, I love you with all my heart, but just because I agreed to marry you, that doesn't mean that you can start making life-altering plans without consulting me first, not when it alters both of our lives. I understand why you're thinking about that job at the state department, but did you think at all about how it would affect me? Were you just going to leave me there at the agency by myself, let them assign me a different partner?"
"No, of course not," Lee said. "I...I...I asked Billy to talk to them on my behalf. I figured that since it's an admin job, I'd have the opportunity to hand-pick some of my team and I'd want you on my team, Amanda."
"I am on your team...always," She replied softly as she removed her right hand from his left and lightly caressed his bruised jaw.
"But?" Lee probed, sensing that there was one.
"But I've come too far where I'm at to give it all up now and start over again somewhere else. I'm really enjoying my training classes, all the new stuff that I'm learning, the stuff that I'm able to do on my own without you having to be there to guide me or tell me what to do. I don't want to leave the agency," she paused for a moment as she watched her words register on his face, then added, "And deep down, I don't think that you do either. You love your job too much."
"But I love you more," Lee countered as he brought her left hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss to it and idly toyed with the diamond ring on her finger. "This...this ring...I didn't buy it lightly or without the intent of following through on the promise that it represents. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, caring for you..."
Amanda quieted him with a finger to his lips. "And that's all sweet and very romantic, but part of marriage is that we're supposed to care for each other and that means that I can't let you do something that you hate just because you think that it's your duty to do so. Do you remember when I first met your uncle and how you told me how much you hated him treating you like you were nothing more than a duty to him?" When Lee nodded, she continued, "Then don't do the same to me. I know that you feel that you have a responsibility to protect me, but you seem to forget that I have a responsibility to protect you too. That's what partners do and I don't mean just work partners, I mean life partners as well. Part of my responsibility to protect you is not letting you make a decision that you'll regret down the line."
"What makes you so sure that I will regret it? I mean, come on, Amanda, I joined the agency when I was twenty-three years old. It's been thirteen years and I'm...I'm just tired."
"I know, but I think this is just temporary because of what happened. I think after all of this is over and you've had some real rest and you have the peace of mind to know that I'm okay, you'll change your mind. You know, they always say not to make big decisions when you're under stress, don't move, don't change jobs, don't start a new relationship or end an existing one, stuff like that, because you'll always end up regretting it once the stress is relieved because you're creating a permanent end to a temporary problem."
Lee shook his head and smiled at her, amazed that after all she'd been through, she was still his voice of reason, "Okay, okay, I'll sleep on it at least before I make a decision. Will that make you happy?"
"Yes," Amanda answered. "Now, back to the subject...Mother...I...Um...I still don't know that it's such a hot idea to let her in on all our secrets, our engagement, absolutely, since she already knows about the baby and you know she won't let that go until she knows that you're going to make an honest woman of me." She paused and took a breath, "But the agency stuff...It might be just too much for her to handle."
"How would you know, Amanda?" Dotty retorted from the doorway of the dining room, a stack of plates in her hand. She then turned to the dining table to set the plates out for lunch before turning back to face her daughter. "You've kept all your little secrets about the nature of your work from me for years to the point that you never gave me or yourself a chance to find out." When Lee and Amanda both turned her direction, looking startled and then exchanged a curious look with one another before turning their attention back to her, she said, "Yes, that's right, my darling girl, I've known almost the whole time about this spy business." She then returned to the kitchen leaving Lee and Amanda exchanging bewildered looks.