A/N: More feels. You've been warned. I do have a proper one-shot fic in the works that's about their reunion. So hopefully that will help. Until then we've still got feels to work through.

Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think!

"How long, do you think?" she asked again while nibbling the skin along her right thumb nail.

"Felicity…" Digg began and she didn't turn to look at him.

"He just said it was a neutral site, not Nanda Parbat but...that could be anywhere. I found his phone and he didn't wear the boots with the trackers in them. I was only sort of joking when I suggested a subdermal tracking device, now I'm wishing I'd just done it when he was unconscious one time. I mean, it happens frequently enough that-"

Digg's hand came down on her shoulder making her shiver, but it cut off her ramble which was his intention.

"He went with the League. He could be anywhere. You're not going to be able to track him by normal means." he blew out a long breath and settled into the chair next to her, "We're just going to have to wait. But if I know Oliver the first thing he'll do when it's over is find a way to contact you."

She felt her cheeks flush, her mouth opening to protest and say he'd be contacting them but she caught herself because they both knew it wouldn't have been the full truth.

It had already been several hours. Digg and Roy had waited for a while before returning but Oliver had been long gone by then. They found her frozen in the spot where he'd left her, mind blank because if she let herself think all she could do was cycle through every horrible scenario imaginable.

Her hand kept raising to her forehead, just centimeters from brushing the spot where he'd kissed her, but she always stopped herself in time. She could still feel him. Could still feel the warmth of his lips, the lingering wetness, and she was terrified that if she touched the spot his presence would vanish.

But more than anything it was his final words to her that at first were a lifeline. However, they were quickly becoming something worse. With each minute that went by she could feel what they really were. A goodbye. Forever. He'd said those eight letters with such ease, such clarity, because she knew that somehow he believed he wasn't returning.

After numerous attempts to get her to rest, all of which she ignored, she woke up in the early hours of the morning to find herself laying on the bed she'd bought for him. Digg sat tipped back in her chair, arms crossed over his chest while Roy methodically cleaned his bow. It had been almost eight hours and day break would be soon.

With the blanket that still smelled like Oliver wrapped around her shoulders she pushed to her feet and headed for the stairs, the need to see the sunrise somehow the only thing of importance to her in that moment. Roy and Digg both went to follow but she held up one hand to keep them at bay.

The roof of Verdant was easy to access and the light, pinky hues of impending dawn greeted her as she made her way to the edge, facing east, wondering if he'd already seen the sun that day or if it was dark where he was.

If she stared straight ahead there was nothing in her line of sight but trees and ocean and she could imagine she was anywhere else, and far away from the city that sprawled behind her.

As the sun began to make itself known tiny pinpricks started to crawl up her spine until every hair on her body stood on end and her stomach plummeted. An icy cold chilled her, as slowly her limbs went numb, one by one and she felt herself sway. Something inside her fractured, the edges rubbing raw as a pain so swift and fierce and deep invaded. The warmth of the yellow rays did nothing to stop her shivering and she knew in her soul it was because he was gone.

Silent tears tracked down her cheeks and as quiet as he'd been she still heard Digg approach from behind.

"He's not coming back," she gasped, lungs being forced to work as she somehow managed to stay upright.

"What?"

She shook her head, and wiped ineffectually at her face, "He's gone, John, he's not coming back this time."

"It hasn't been that long. You have to give him more time."

With that she turned and she saw his face fall when he laid eyes on her, "He's not coming back. I can feel it."

He didn't say a word, just closed the distance between them and hauled her to his chest as she broke.

It took another twelve hours before his personal effects were delivered along with the official word that he had died in combat at the hands of Ra's al Ghul.

By that point she was numb, flowing from one workstation to another in the lair unaware of what she was doing. Feeling the worried, red rimmed eyes of Roy and Digg as they followed her, neither knowing what to say.

She'd begun to pace a short track from her chair to where Oliver would work on his arrows, hands twisting in front of her as the pain and anxiety bubbled up within in her chest.

"I never told him, Digg. It was the last thing he said to me before he left and...I couldn't say it back."

"He knew, Felicity...everyone knew."

"But I didn't say it!" she exploded, "He finally looked me in the eye and said it as truth and I let him walk out of here without saying a word! How do I go on knowing that? How do I…" she collapsed in a heap, knees only barely having the chance to brush the floor before Digg was wrapped around her.

"He knew you loved him. He knew it."

"I don't want to do this. I don't know how to do this," her breaths were too shallow, lungs growing tighter as she sobbed against him, not hearing his commands for her to breathe.

And as the world around her grew dimmer and dimmer the last thing she saw was his suit, sitting untouched in its case.